Stephanie Tavera

My kids are ages 6 and 9 and they play video games and watch tv all day. My
youngest will occasionally ask to do some headsprout or a little math. I
thought they'd be done deschooling by now. My youngest has never been to
school but was in a preschool for a few months. My oldest was in school till
middle of second grade. My Dh is concerned cause he feels like they aren't
doing anything and that he'd like to put them in private school. They have
said that they wouldn't mind going to school. I feel like I'm failing them
too and that maybe I should start something more structured. Do you think
maybe if I limited tv/game time they'd look for something else to do?
Stephanie


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Melissa Gray

Nope. I think if you offer interesting and fun stuff, they might
choose something else. However, don't expect it to look like sitting
at the table and doing math or headsprout. Expect it to look like
crafts, or playing with dolls, or cutting up fabric to glue to
posterboard.

If you limit tv/game time, you're setting up a dynamic in which they
feel deprived and they'll crave it even more. But they are saying
that they want to do something else. I don't know what you're house
looks like or what's offered, but take a look at that.
Melissa
On Dec 7, 2008, at 8:35 PM, Stephanie Tavera wrote:

> My kids are ages 6 and 9 and they play video games and watch tv all
> day. My
> youngest will occasionally ask to do some headsprout or a little
> math. I
> thought they'd be done deschooling by now. My youngest has never
> been to
> school but was in a preschool for a few months. My oldest was in
> school till
> middle of second grade. My Dh is concerned cause he feels like they
> aren't
> doing anything and that he'd like to put them in private school.
> They have
> said that they wouldn't mind going to school. I feel like I'm
> failing them
> too and that maybe I should start something more structured. Do you
> think
> maybe if I limited tv/game time they'd look for something else to do?
> Stephanie
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Pamela Sorooshian

On Dec 7, 2008, at 6:35 PM, Stephanie Tavera wrote:

> I feel like I'm failing them
> too and that maybe I should start something more structured. Do you
> think
> maybe if I limited tv/game time they'd look for something else to do?
> Stephanie

What are you doing to support their interests and to offer them new
and stimulating experiences?

-pam

Stephanie Tavera

Well, let's see they like to dance and asked for classes so they're in
dance. My son likes pokemon and so I signed him up for a pokemon club. We
took them to see the Tut exhibit in Atlanta. We took them to a concert. If
there's some kind of group or thing going on I ask them if they want to go.
But we also have board games, books, chickens, chicks, dogs, swimming pool (
when its warm obviously!), playset, pogo sticks, bikes, skateboard,
art/easel stuff. I've also showed them how to cook some things.

On Sun, Dec 7, 2008 at 10:52 PM, Pamela Sorooshian <pamsoroosh@...>wrote:

>
> On Dec 7, 2008, at 6:35 PM, Stephanie Tavera wrote:
>
> > I feel like I'm failing them
> > too and that maybe I should start something more structured. Do you
> > think
> > maybe if I limited tv/game time they'd look for something else to do?
> > Stephanie
>
> What are you doing to support their interests and to offer them new
> and stimulating experiences?
>
> -pam
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Pamela Sorooshian

So - I'm just a little bewildered by the apparent contradiction in
your two posts, Stephanie.

You say:

"My kids are ages 6 and 9 and they play video games and watch tv all
day. My
youngest will occasionally ask to do some headsprout or a little math."

But also you said this:

> Well, let's see they like to dance and asked for classes so they're in
> dance. My son likes pokemon and so I signed him up for a pokemon
> club. We
> took them to see the Tut exhibit in Atlanta. We took them to a
> concert. If
> there's some kind of group or thing going on I ask them if they want
> to go.
> But we also have board games, books, chickens, chicks, dogs,
> swimming pool (
> when its warm obviously!), playset, pogo sticks, bikes, skateboard,
> art/easel stuff. I've also showed them how to cook some things.

Do you want to rephrase the first statement?

Maybe you meant - "My kids spend more time playing video games and
watching tv than I am comfortable with?"

I think what I'd suggest is that you get REALLY into those video games
and tv watching with them. Get creative and find every possible way
you can figure out to enhance their game playing and tv watching.

Do you want ideas for that?

-pam

Karen Buxcel

On Sun, Dec 7, 2008 at 9:13 PM, Pamela Sorooshian <pamsoroosh@...>wrote:

>
> Get creative and find every possible way
> you can figure out to enhance their game playing and tv watching.
>
> Do you want ideas for that?
>







I do! :) I'm always up for new, fun and interesting ideas for myself!
Looking forward to it! I think it's easy to become complacent when our kids
are so into the tv (maybe 'lazy' is a better word?) I'm sure I've been
guilty of it..."oh, great, the kids are busy with TV, so I'll x/y/z...") I
don't want to slip into that too often, or stay for too long, so I accept
that I need to take more responsibility to make Life fun and exciting for
them, for all of us. So, please, write on!

Karen



--

http://www.thewildtribe.blogspot.com

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will
meet you there." Rumi


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Stephanie Tavera

Yep you're right Pam. They are watching and playing too much! lol I'd love
to know how to enhance their game playing and tv watching. Stephanie

On Mon, Dec 8, 2008 at 2:05 AM, Karen Buxcel <thewildtribe@...> wrote:

> On Sun, Dec 7, 2008 at 9:13 PM, Pamela Sorooshian <pamsoroosh@...<pamsoroosh%40mac.com>
> >wrote:
>
>
> >
> > Get creative and find every possible way
> > you can figure out to enhance their game playing and tv watching.
> >
> > Do you want ideas for that?
> >
>
> I do! :) I'm always up for new, fun and interesting ideas for myself!
> Looking forward to it! I think it's easy to become complacent when our kids
> are so into the tv (maybe 'lazy' is a better word?) I'm sure I've been
> guilty of it..."oh, great, the kids are busy with TV, so I'll x/y/z...") I
> don't want to slip into that too often, or stay for too long, so I accept
> that I need to take more responsibility to make Life fun and exciting for
> them, for all of us. So, please, write on!
>
> Karen
>
> --
>
> http://www.thewildtribe.blogspot.com
>
> "Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will
> meet you there." Rumi
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

caradove

Stephanie,

What games are they playing? My 10yo ds is so into World Of Warcraft
and it is not deschooling, it is his main pastime. I have played with
him, chatted about it, discussed how he gets new gear and honour
points. Before that the whole family got into watching him play Dark
Cloud 2 on PS2, excellent game, we watched it like a movie unfolding
and never wanted to miss when he got to a new place!

If they like to dance, we have been using Project Playlist on the
computer, when someone thinks of a good song, we find it and mostly
the kids, and us are up dancing, even the one who was on the computer
in the first place. At the minute we are into finding cool songs in
different languages!

Also we just started Alice Greenfingers on computer, the whole family
lke it. If you spend time with them while they do what they do, you
will see the math, logic, reading, time management, puzzle-solving
that goes on in most good quality games.


Cara

--- In [email protected], "Stephanie Tavera"
<lilmamibella@...> wrote:
>
> My kids are ages 6 and 9 and they play video games and watch tv all
day. My
> youngest will occasionally ask to do some headsprout or a little math. I
> thought they'd be done deschooling by now. My youngest has never been to
> school but was in a preschool for a few months. My oldest was in
school till
> middle of second grade. My Dh is concerned cause he feels like they
aren't
> doing anything and that he'd like to put them in private school.
They have
> said that they wouldn't mind going to school. I feel like I'm
failing them
> too and that maybe I should start something more structured. Do you
think
> maybe if I limited tv/game time they'd look for something else to do?
> Stephanie
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Stephanie Tavera

Well right now he's playing Mortal Kombat vs DC universe. He also like the
lego batman, lego indiana jones, super mario 3, and super smash bros brawl.
i'll look up project playlist and alice greenfingers.

On Mon, Dec 8, 2008 at 3:11 PM, caradove <caradove@...> wrote:

> Stephanie,
>
> What games are they playing? My 10yo ds is so into World Of Warcraft
> and it is not deschooling, it is his main pastime. I have played with
> him, chatted about it, discussed how he gets new gear and honour
> points. Before that the whole family got into watching him play Dark
> Cloud 2 on PS2, excellent game, we watched it like a movie unfolding
> and never wanted to miss when he got to a new place!
>
> If they like to dance, we have been using Project Playlist on the
> computer, when someone thinks of a good song, we find it and mostly
> the kids, and us are up dancing, even the one who was on the computer
> in the first place. At the minute we are into finding cool songs in
> different languages!
>
> Also we just started Alice Greenfingers on computer, the whole family
> lke it. If you spend time with them while they do what they do, you
> will see the math, logic, reading, time management, puzzle-solving
> that goes on in most good quality games.
>
> Cara
>
> --- In [email protected]<unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com>,
> "Stephanie Tavera"
>
> <lilmamibella@...> wrote:
> >
> > My kids are ages 6 and 9 and they play video games and watch tv all
> day. My
> > youngest will occasionally ask to do some headsprout or a little math. I
> > thought they'd be done deschooling by now. My youngest has never been to
> > school but was in a preschool for a few months. My oldest was in
> school till
> > middle of second grade. My Dh is concerned cause he feels like they
> aren't
> > doing anything and that he'd like to put them in private school.
> They have
> > said that they wouldn't mind going to school. I feel like I'm
> failing them
> > too and that maybe I should start something more structured. Do you
> think
> > maybe if I limited tv/game time they'd look for something else to do?
> > Stephanie
> >
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> >
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Kelly Lovejoy

-----Original Message-----
From: Stephanie Tavera <lilmamibella@...>



Do you think maybe if I limited tv/game time they'd look for something else to do?













-=-=-=-=-




If you limited the time I spent cooking, do you think I'd look for something else to do?




Probably.




But I might start looking for more ways to get into the kitchen when you were gone. I might start 

sneaking in late at

night to play in the kitchen. I might start watching more of the cooking channel. I might spend a

lot of time reading cookbooks. Looking up recipes on the internet. Talking about casseroles with 

my friends and being envious of *their* time in the kitchen. 




My time would certainly be *better* spent actually *cooking*, and I'd probably resent that I wasn't 

allowed to wear my apron or fire up my skillet.




But yes, I would probably look for something else to do.




~Kelly


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Meredith

--- In [email protected], "Stephanie Tavera"
<lilmamibella@...> wrote:
>
> Well right now he's playing Mortal Kombat vs DC universe. He also
like the
> lego batman, lego indiana jones, super mario 3, and super smash
bros brawl.

Wow, that's a lot of different games! Its important to see that he's
playing *different things* rather than lump them all together into
your mind as "video games". Each game has its own themes, characters,
and progression.

I notice he's playing two different lego games - does he like legos
in general or is he more interested in those games as easier versions
of role playing games? You could certainly do more with legos as well
as all his characters outside of the games - decor, food, plus any
lego playsets that allow you to build characters from those games.
Has he discovered lego.com? Lots of fun stuff, there:

http://www.lego.com/en-US/default.aspx?domainredir=lego.com

---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)

Meredith

--- In [email protected], "Karen Buxcel"
<thewildtribe@...> wrote:
>I accept
> that I need to take more responsibility to make Life fun and
exciting for
> them, for all of us. So, please, write on!
>

I think the most important "first step" is to make a concious effort
to spend part of every day watching and/or playing with them. Watch
them play video games the same way you would watch them play dress
up, or build with legos - interact as much as they want (or stay out
of the way as much as they want!) but soak up their fascination,
enthusiasm and joy. Chit chat about the games, characters, difficult
bits later on, too, the way you might about an interesting story you
were reading together.

Tv, too - although with tv there may be more opportunities to chat
during the show. With tv it helps to try to step away from your "mom
brain" a little while you're watching and respond to the shows the
way you would if watching with a friend, as opposed to thinking "is
this okay for kids? am I okay with them watching it?"

If part of your concern is that they aren't getting enough exercise,
find ways for them to be active while watching/playing. Mini
trampoline, exercise ball, roller blades, tread mill... anything you
can think of that will fit in your home! If you can afford it, look
for hand-held versions of games that they can take outside to play
when the weather is nice.

Bring your own projects into the same room as the tv. Hang out
together, each doing your own thing. They may get interested in what
you're doing or not - but they are far more likely to be interested
than if you're off in another part of the house.

Look for ways to bring the characters and themes of their favorite
shows/games into other aspects of life. For example, Mo likes to wear
her hair the way some of the girls in pokemom shows do - either with
the bangs hanging over her eyes or two big pony tails. Okay, normal
little girl hair styles, but to *her* its "Pokemon trainer hair" and
that's what's important. She has a blue striped sweater that we call
her "Blues Clues" sweater, even though its *just* a blue striped
sweater, not something marketed for the show. She has special jumps
on the trampoline that are inspired by the show and game "Avatar".
The important thing is to celebrate what interests your kids, however
you can!

If your kids are wanting to do other things, make a wish list. Make
some plans. Recently my kids were complaining that George wasn't
spending enough time with them - they're so independent that he had
fallen into the habit of getting sucked in to his own projects. So I
talked with the kids and with George and came up with some ideas. I
dug out some old books, pulled out some boxes of stuff from storage
and did a little extra strewing. I sent out a plea to the
grandparents to send xmas presents a little sooner if they were
project sorts of things (grandma sent a volcano kit...oooooohhhhh,
ahhhhhhh!). I did some extra cleaning, which always helps motivate
people in my family.

Once again, this is when its important to bring projects To the kids -
into the same room, anyway. For example, George will set up paints
and just start painting for his own enjoyment. Mo often comes and
joins him, but he doesn't coax her. He just makes sure she knows its
happening. He might also go set up the trains just for kicks - he's a
longtime train fan, and even though these are pretty low-key trains,
he likes to play with them now and again. This past week he and Mo
have been talking about "train furniture" - making houses and bridges
and tunnels for the trains. The important thing to keep in mind with
all this is the idea *isn't* to lure kids away from the tv or video
games. The idea is to lay out options without any pressure (a kind of
strewing) so your kids are making real choices, not just defaulting
to the most obvious, simplest thing.

---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)

cecegary

<<Do you think maybe if I limited tv/game time they'd look for
something else to do?
Stephanie>>

Stephanie,

My kids have never been to school, and I tried not limiting their TV
or computer usage for the first 3 years of them using them. Here's
our experience...

My kids weren't much interested in TV at first. They preferred to
play together...often for hours without fighting. I didn't turn the
TV on myself, so they just didn't know much about it. I did play some
videos and DVDs for them that were kids shows in other languages (my
kids are Korean and Chinese). They enjoyed them but usually preferred
to go back to playing after seeing one instead of seeing another or
the same one over again.

Then one Summer, while on vacation, they discoverd PBSKids on TV and
fell in love. They watched quite a bit of PBSKids, not exploring
anything outside of that (on TV) for about a year. Since PBSKids (at
least in our area) stops kid programming at 6pm in the evenings, and
has very little weekend programming for kids, they couldn't watch
endless hours of it. They often turned it off voluntarily during the
day, too, when shows came on they weren't interested in.

Then the following Summer we went to Panama and they found the
Discovery Kids channel...which, at least in Panama, showed PBSKids
and Noggin shows. Most of the shows were in English (with Spanish
subtitles), so they were able to learn about new shows that they
assumed they would be able to see at home. When we returned home,
they asked about a few shows they had seen and we found them on
Noggin. Noggin shortly became my daughter's almost constant
companion. My son watched it some, too, but preferred DVDs. I tried
letting my daughter regulate her own TV viewing, even when I felt it
was excessive, without my input (I said nothing about how I felt). My
son's movie viewing went up and down. He played more than viewed.
Then he found Sponge Bob. (Ugh.)

After about a year of this, with the TV viewing getting heavier and
heavier, and the behavior getting worse and worse (screaming and
crying fits when the TV got turned off when we left the house, etc.),
I decided to try a different approach. I asked my kids what their
favorite shows were. We looked at the schedule to see what time they
came on, and we turned off the TV when one of these shows wasn't on.

The result has been MUCH more pretend play, MUCH more playing
together (with WAY LESS fighting), and they turn off the TVs
voluntarily now in order to play. No complaining, no crying fits, no
screaming. There is peace. ;)

Anyway, this is our experience. I think you just have to feel out
what works for your family. Try different things, and also try to get
your kids' input about the situation. "Laying down the law" doesn't
appear to be very successful, in my opinion. I also try to include my
kids in decisions about their lives, and I always give them options
and ideas.

Chelsea