Need help finding a recent post
c3_2323
Hi all,
Someone recently posted something about how they hung up reminders to
help them keep perspective. I believe one was about how the kids
won't be young for long, one even addressed that we could lose them.
I'm definitely needing help with perspective as things have been high
stress.
I searched the archives but nothing came up. Can anyone help? I'm
pretty new, so it was in the last couple of months.
Thanks,
Christie
Someone recently posted something about how they hung up reminders to
help them keep perspective. I believe one was about how the kids
won't be young for long, one even addressed that we could lose them.
I'm definitely needing help with perspective as things have been high
stress.
I searched the archives but nothing came up. Can anyone help? I'm
pretty new, so it was in the last couple of months.
Thanks,
Christie
Sylvia Toyama
This might be what you're looking for. The text of a message from Kelly Lovejoy, written/posted Feb 26, 2008 --
Childhood Is Not A Dress Rehearsal
The "tag line" of the accountability association I run in SC to allow families to homeschool is "Childhood is NOT a dress rehearsal."
Unfortunately, I get reminded of this every now and then. Not that I don't *need* to be reminded. It's just that I wish I weren't reminded in such a harsh way.
I think most traditional, conventional parents think of something different when they hear or read it. I think they start considering that we only have this one chance to push our children to do better, to be better, and to strive harder for that medical degree or career choice or..."success" or whatever.
That's not the message I get.
I've been thinking about what to write now for several days to honor the memory of Hannah Jenner, who died two years ago on February 24. I'd wanted to toss out there that we really DO only have so much time to spend with our children---and even though we *think* have the rest of their lives to do and be with them, there's no guarantee that they won't be taken from us a whole lot sooner than we think. The time they spend with us should be full of joy and fun and happy, happy thoughts. Their time with us should be filled with *our* joy in them---that they know that our world is a better place *because* of them.
Hannah's short life is a tough reminder for me to enjoy the children I have---and every single minute. And not a day goes by that I don't think of Hannah (and Sam Wilkerson and Jacob Strebler). 'Cause I just don't know what I would do without Cameron and Duncan. But sometimes, when I'm not my best and my temper is short, I *need* that little reminder---that this time is a gift.
Too often, parents can work so hard helping our children "become" that we forget to enjoy Who They *Are*--right now, this minute.
Lisa Heyman's passing yesterday has stunned this community. And I just can't imagine the pain and loss the Gauchmans are experiencing right now. But I *know* that the girls, Roxy and Fire, will know that their mom truly valued the time she had with them. She chose to keep the girls close and let them grow "In Their Own Way, In Their Own Time." That's a gift we can ALL give our children. To accept Who They Are---and to revel in it!
We have that choice.
Lisa understood that childhood is not a dress rehearsal. Lisa worked hard to give her girls he space they needed to grow. She gave them inspired, joyful childhoods. There's not a doubt in my mind that Roxy and Fire will thrive in spite of their huge, huge loss. And a big part of that is the love and acceptance Lisa showered on them. They will kept warm with her light.
Her passing will continue to be a reminder that *my* time with my kids is limited as well. I can choose to make the most of each moment with them as she did. Our world is brighter because of Lisa. And I'm glad I got to know her.
Much Love and Many Hugs to Larry and Roxy and Fire.
*****
Sylvia
www.ourhapahome.blogspot.com
www.ourhapahome365.blogspot.com
www.mysquareone.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Childhood Is Not A Dress Rehearsal
The "tag line" of the accountability association I run in SC to allow families to homeschool is "Childhood is NOT a dress rehearsal."
Unfortunately, I get reminded of this every now and then. Not that I don't *need* to be reminded. It's just that I wish I weren't reminded in such a harsh way.
I think most traditional, conventional parents think of something different when they hear or read it. I think they start considering that we only have this one chance to push our children to do better, to be better, and to strive harder for that medical degree or career choice or..."success" or whatever.
That's not the message I get.
I've been thinking about what to write now for several days to honor the memory of Hannah Jenner, who died two years ago on February 24. I'd wanted to toss out there that we really DO only have so much time to spend with our children---and even though we *think* have the rest of their lives to do and be with them, there's no guarantee that they won't be taken from us a whole lot sooner than we think. The time they spend with us should be full of joy and fun and happy, happy thoughts. Their time with us should be filled with *our* joy in them---that they know that our world is a better place *because* of them.
Hannah's short life is a tough reminder for me to enjoy the children I have---and every single minute. And not a day goes by that I don't think of Hannah (and Sam Wilkerson and Jacob Strebler). 'Cause I just don't know what I would do without Cameron and Duncan. But sometimes, when I'm not my best and my temper is short, I *need* that little reminder---that this time is a gift.
Too often, parents can work so hard helping our children "become" that we forget to enjoy Who They *Are*--right now, this minute.
Lisa Heyman's passing yesterday has stunned this community. And I just can't imagine the pain and loss the Gauchmans are experiencing right now. But I *know* that the girls, Roxy and Fire, will know that their mom truly valued the time she had with them. She chose to keep the girls close and let them grow "In Their Own Way, In Their Own Time." That's a gift we can ALL give our children. To accept Who They Are---and to revel in it!
We have that choice.
Lisa understood that childhood is not a dress rehearsal. Lisa worked hard to give her girls he space they needed to grow. She gave them inspired, joyful childhoods. There's not a doubt in my mind that Roxy and Fire will thrive in spite of their huge, huge loss. And a big part of that is the love and acceptance Lisa showered on them. They will kept warm with her light.
Her passing will continue to be a reminder that *my* time with my kids is limited as well. I can choose to make the most of each moment with them as she did. Our world is brighter because of Lisa. And I'm glad I got to know her.
Much Love and Many Hugs to Larry and Roxy and Fire.
*****
Sylvia
www.ourhapahome.blogspot.com
www.ourhapahome365.blogspot.com
www.mysquareone.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kelly Lovejoy
-----Original Message-----
From: c3_2323 <craigiecarter@...>
Someone recently posted something about how they hung up reminders to
help them keep perspective. I believe one was about how the kids
won't be young for long, one even addressed that we could lose them.
I'm definitely needing help with perspective as things have been high
stress.
I searched the archives but nothing came up. Can anyone help? I'm
pretty new, so it was in the last couple of months.
--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
It's a common theme here. <g>
You could do a group search for "Hannah" or "Lisa Heyman" and probably get a zillion hits. I don't
remember a thread all that recently, but maybe check a little earlier in the year?
When I have a minute, I'll go look for an article or two.
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
From: c3_2323 <craigiecarter@...>
Someone recently posted something about how they hung up reminders to
help them keep perspective. I believe one was about how the kids
won't be young for long, one even addressed that we could lose them.
I'm definitely needing help with perspective as things have been high
stress.
I searched the archives but nothing came up. Can anyone help? I'm
pretty new, so it was in the last couple of months.
--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
It's a common theme here. <g>
You could do a group search for "Hannah" or "Lisa Heyman" and probably get a zillion hits. I don't
remember a thread all that recently, but maybe check a little earlier in the year?
When I have a minute, I'll go look for an article or two.
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Christie Craigie-Carter
Thanks to all. Those were along the same vein, but not exactly it. It was
definitely in the last 2 months, since as I said, that's how long I've been
here. Someone said that she posted little reminders similar to what was in
this message (so sad) to remind herself and, knowing that I'm very visual, I
think that would really help. I can't seem to catch myself and count to 10,
but I have a feeling that if I had a post-it in front of me, that would
catch my attention.
I'll come up with something, I'm sure. I'm sorry to be such a pain, but
ever since college, I've recognized that my search skills aren't great,
lol. I'm sort of hoping that the author will catch this and remember ;-)
Kelly, you're name is very familiar, but I think that's just b/c you have
that cool last name, lol (or at least pseudonym). I think it was in a
thread about getting frustrated and wanting to not lose (our) temper. I
just can't think of what search terms to use. I tried "post/posting", "be
here", and several others that aren't coming to me at the moment. Something
really jumped out at me, and I was going to blow it up and make a banner out
of it, lol. Course I remember that it did, but not what it was!
If no one remembers, and even if they do, I will definitely pull some things
from the "Childhood is not a Dress Rehearsal", which I love. If I don't get
a chance to say thank you, know that I do appreciate it. I'm afraid both my
son and I may be depressed, so I'm focusing there for now, though I see a
very important step as having these reminders, yk?
Thanks so much,
Christie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
definitely in the last 2 months, since as I said, that's how long I've been
here. Someone said that she posted little reminders similar to what was in
this message (so sad) to remind herself and, knowing that I'm very visual, I
think that would really help. I can't seem to catch myself and count to 10,
but I have a feeling that if I had a post-it in front of me, that would
catch my attention.
I'll come up with something, I'm sure. I'm sorry to be such a pain, but
ever since college, I've recognized that my search skills aren't great,
lol. I'm sort of hoping that the author will catch this and remember ;-)
Kelly, you're name is very familiar, but I think that's just b/c you have
that cool last name, lol (or at least pseudonym). I think it was in a
thread about getting frustrated and wanting to not lose (our) temper. I
just can't think of what search terms to use. I tried "post/posting", "be
here", and several others that aren't coming to me at the moment. Something
really jumped out at me, and I was going to blow it up and make a banner out
of it, lol. Course I remember that it did, but not what it was!
If no one remembers, and even if they do, I will definitely pull some things
from the "Childhood is not a Dress Rehearsal", which I love. If I don't get
a chance to say thank you, know that I do appreciate it. I'm afraid both my
son and I may be depressed, so I'm focusing there for now, though I see a
very important step as having these reminders, yk?
Thanks so much,
Christie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
myangeland6blessings
I remembered this too. I thought it was shortly after I joined.
Is this the post you were looking for?
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/message/36703
Michelle
--- In [email protected], "c3_2323"
<craigiecarter@...> wrote:
Is this the post you were looking for?
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/message/36703
Michelle
--- In [email protected], "c3_2323"
<craigiecarter@...> wrote:
>
> Hi all,
>
> Someone recently posted something about how they hung up reminders to
> help them keep perspective. I believe one was about how the kids
> won't be young for long, one even addressed that we could lose them.
>
> I'm definitely needing help with perspective as things have been high
> stress.
>
> I searched the archives but nothing came up. Can anyone help? I'm
> pretty new, so it was in the last couple of months.
>
> Thanks,
>
> Christie
>
Christie Craigie-Carter
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!! This is it!!! "What if this were the
last day with my beautiful babies", that the phrasing that spoke to me so
much. It's a much nicer way of saying it than what if they died, which of
course is always a fear.
Thank you, thank you, thank you (to you and all who responded and to Bonnie
who wrote it)!!!!
Warmly,
Christie
On Mon, Dec 8, 2008 at 2:42 PM, myangeland6blessings
<mhadd015@...>wrote:
last day with my beautiful babies", that the phrasing that spoke to me so
much. It's a much nicer way of saying it than what if they died, which of
course is always a fear.
Thank you, thank you, thank you (to you and all who responded and to Bonnie
who wrote it)!!!!
Warmly,
Christie
On Mon, Dec 8, 2008 at 2:42 PM, myangeland6blessings
<mhadd015@...>wrote:
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> I remembered this too. I thought it was shortly after I joined.
>
> Is this the post you were looking for?
>
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/message/36703
>
> Michelle
>
> --- In [email protected]<unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com>,
> "c3_2323"
>
> <craigiecarter@...> wrote:
> >
> > Hi all,
> >
> > Someone recently posted something about how they hung up reminders to
> > help them keep perspective. I believe one was about how the kids
> > won't be young for long, one even addressed that we could lose them.
> >
> > I'm definitely needing help with perspective as things have been high
> > stress.
> >
> > I searched the archives but nothing came up. Can anyone help? I'm
> > pretty new, so it was in the last couple of months.
> >
> > Thanks,
> >
> > Christie
> >
>
>
>
Kelly Lovejoy
-----Original Message-----
From: Christie Craigie-Carter <craigiecarter@...>
Kelly, you're name is very familiar, but I think that's just b/c you have
that cool last name, lol (or at least pseudonym).
-=-=-=-
Maybe because I co-own this list? <BWG>
But the name's a good one. <g> Not a pseudonym---I married it. <G> If Ben hadn't had Lovejoy
as a last name, I probably would have kept my maiden name. But there ya' go. <G>
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
If no one remembers, and even if they do, I will definitely pull some things
from the "Childhood is not a Dress Rehearsal", which I love.
-=-=-=-=-
I wrote that the day after my friend, Lisa, died and left her husband, Larry, and two beautiful
daughters, Fire & Roxanne. I was in the midst of thinking about Hannah, who died at 9.5 only a
year before. It was a tough month.
My boys left today for a road trip to Boston. I can't say I don't worry about them. I DO. <g>
But I know that, overall, my time with them has been magical---for them and me. Maybe not every
day, every moment. But even at a bad moment, if I can look at them, breathe, and imagine life
without them, I can calm down in a heartbeat and treasure my time with them. *Every* minute.
I think it's contagious too. <g> It's sooo easy to get angry...FURIOUS...and take it out on our
kids. In turn, that's the path they take too. I see that all the time with my children's friends
an
d with my friends too. By changing the way I deal with my anger and my frustration, I can see the
difference in my boys. They see others as always doing their best---even if it's not THE best.
Taking that extra second or two to realize that *I* can control how this unfolds---at least how *I*
unfold <g>---I have the opportunity to make it better. Almost magically. And my boys have soooo
much patience with *me* when I'm fragile and screwing up.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
If I don't get
a chance to say thank you, know that I do appreciate it. I'm afraid both my
son and I may be depressed, so I'm focusing there for now, though I see a
very important step as having these reminders, yk?
-=-=-=-
Depression sucks. Do what you can to get through that. Although you may not have the power to help
your*self* out of depression, you *do* have the power to accept help. (BTDT) Good luck with that!
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
From: Christie Craigie-Carter <craigiecarter@...>
Kelly, you're name is very familiar, but I think that's just b/c you have
that cool last name, lol (or at least pseudonym).
-=-=-=-
Maybe because I co-own this list? <BWG>
But the name's a good one. <g> Not a pseudonym---I married it. <G> If Ben hadn't had Lovejoy
as a last name, I probably would have kept my maiden name. But there ya' go. <G>
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
If no one remembers, and even if they do, I will definitely pull some things
from the "Childhood is not a Dress Rehearsal", which I love.
-=-=-=-=-
I wrote that the day after my friend, Lisa, died and left her husband, Larry, and two beautiful
daughters, Fire & Roxanne. I was in the midst of thinking about Hannah, who died at 9.5 only a
year before. It was a tough month.
My boys left today for a road trip to Boston. I can't say I don't worry about them. I DO. <g>
But I know that, overall, my time with them has been magical---for them and me. Maybe not every
day, every moment. But even at a bad moment, if I can look at them, breathe, and imagine life
without them, I can calm down in a heartbeat and treasure my time with them. *Every* minute.
I think it's contagious too. <g> It's sooo easy to get angry...FURIOUS...and take it out on our
kids. In turn, that's the path they take too. I see that all the time with my children's friends
an
d with my friends too. By changing the way I deal with my anger and my frustration, I can see the
difference in my boys. They see others as always doing their best---even if it's not THE best.
Taking that extra second or two to realize that *I* can control how this unfolds---at least how *I*
unfold <g>---I have the opportunity to make it better. Almost magically. And my boys have soooo
much patience with *me* when I'm fragile and screwing up.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
If I don't get
a chance to say thank you, know that I do appreciate it. I'm afraid both my
son and I may be depressed, so I'm focusing there for now, though I see a
very important step as having these reminders, yk?
-=-=-=-
Depression sucks. Do what you can to get through that. Although you may not have the power to help
your*self* out of depression, you *do* have the power to accept help. (BTDT) Good luck with that!
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]