swissarmy_wife

I've heard of the book Siblings Without Rivalry. I'm wondering what
you all think about it?

I'm having some big issues with my 10 and almost 4 boys fighting. A
lot! I need some new tools because what I'm doing is obviously not
working.

[email protected]

I read the book. I thought it was very eye opening and gives you several scenarios of both an argument that may exist at your home and a potential argument diffused with the right words and emotions behind them.

The book also talks about how things that happen between siblings as children does in fact remain with them as adults. Like for instance, one sister being told she is smart while the other pretty. Well intentioned compliments - but after hearing it a time or two, it leaves one feeling only smart and the other only pretty. Then as adults we try to make up for that with/through our own kids.

I recommend reading it and was lucky enough to find it at the library. I never thought my 11 and 4 year old would fight like they were but after trying a few things, it has drastically changed for the better.

I hope this helps a bit.

Take care ~ Dee


Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

-----Original Message-----
From: "swissarmy_wife" <heatherbean@...>

Date: Fri, 14 Nov 2008 15:41:15
To: <[email protected]>
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Sibling Rivalry


I've heard of the book Siblings Without Rivalry. I'm wondering what
you all think about it?

I'm having some big issues with my 10 and almost 4 boys fighting. A
lot! I need some new tools because what I'm doing is obviously not
working.



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Beth Fleming

 
I love this book!  My 5 yo and 3 yo girls have benefited so much from the ideas that I've used from this book.....I especially like their idea of having confidence that kids can work things out with support from you.  It's amazing how they resolve conflict between themselves (sometimes!) naturally now, sometimes without my help.....My 12 you dd and 10 yo ds do not have as many conflicts as the younger two, but the techniques apply to all ages.  It's also a good book to read one chapter or chunk of at a time....I really have a hard time finding long stretches to really get into a book, but this one you can do a little at a time and then move on.
HTH! 
Beth in Ma




________________________________
From: swissarmy_wife <heatherbean@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, November 14, 2008 10:41:15 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Sibling Rivalry


I've heard of the book Siblings Without Rivalry. I'm wondering what
you all think about it?

I'm having some big issues with my 10 and almost 4 boys fighting. A
lot! I need some new tools because what I'm doing is obviously not
working.






[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Meredith

Lots of nice things about the book - it breaks down developmental
stages kids typically go through *with respect to sibling
relationships* which is so very helpful. There's even a section that
gives some examples of how different stages of development interact -
useful in helping parents see things from the perspective of Both kids.
I also like the way many of the examples are given in "comic strip"
format - makes it easy to skim through or read in the bathroom ;)

---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)

Faith Void

I really liked this one and read it shortly after Zola was born. I think I
will get it back out again. It had some great ideas in there. To try out


Faith

On Fri, Nov 14, 2008 at 10:41 AM, swissarmy_wife <heatherbean@...>wrote:

> I've heard of the book Siblings Without Rivalry. I'm wondering what
> you all think about it?
>
> I'm having some big issues with my 10 and almost 4 boys fighting. A
> lot! I need some new tools because what I'm doing is obviously not
> working.
>
>
>



--
http://faithvoid.blogspot.com/
www.bearthmama.com


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Cameron Parham

The book is good and worthwhile.  We are having some conflicts, too. I think I was meant to see this question! I will try to find and reread it.  Cameron


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Professional Parenting

Would it be too forward to recommend my book? I have five children from ages 6-17 and they never fight- LOL! - Just kidding. Some days that's all they do.
Everyday we have conflicts and I put my best tips in the book of how to work out conflights so nobody loses and everybody feels respected and validated.
This past week has been bad. As usually, I question whether I should post about how things are going and then - surpise- it gets better.
I have to remember that Fights are about Feelings, never the "presenting issue" and if you get at the feelings underneath, things always get better.
Go easy,
Judy Arnall, Peaceful Parenting, Family and Relationship Expert, Speaker (Professional Member of CAPS) and Author of "Discipline Without Distress: 135 tools for raising caring, responsible children without time-out, spanking, punishment or bribery" www.professionalparenting.ca Tele: (403) 714-6766 Email jarnall@... "Peace In The World Begins In The Home"


----- Original Message -----
From: DancinDeeDee@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, November 14, 2008 9:25 AM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Sibling Rivalry


I read the book. I thought it was very eye opening and gives you several scenarios of both an argument that may exist at your home and a potential argument diffused with the right words and emotions behind them.

The book also talks about how things that happen between siblings as children does in fact remain with them as adults. Like for instance, one sister being told she is smart while the other pretty. Well intentioned compliments - but after hearing it a time or two, it leaves one feeling only smart and the other only pretty. Then as adults we try to make up for that with/through our own kids.

I recommend reading it and was lucky enough to find it at the library. I never thought my 11 and 4 year old would fight like they were but after trying a few things, it has drastically changed for the better.

I hope this helps a bit.

Take care ~ Dee

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

-----Original Message-----
From: "swissarmy_wife" <heatherbean@...>

Date: Fri, 14 Nov 2008 15:41:15
To: <[email protected]>
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Sibling Rivalry

I've heard of the book Siblings Without Rivalry. I'm wondering what
you all think about it?

I'm having some big issues with my 10 and almost 4 boys fighting. A
lot! I need some new tools because what I'm doing is obviously not
working.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Gina Ladd

My name is Gina and I have 5 children. The oldest (22) is out on her own
going to college. The others (14yob, 10yob, 8yog, 6yog) are still at home
and we have fallen into unschooling and love it. I am amazed at how well
they learn on their own.



My question, our 14yo son is into vex robotics and chemical reactions J I
have looked online and can't seem to find chemicals to buy for him. Is
there a local hobby shop, or a specific place online I can buys some of this
stuff. I don't want a chemistry "kit" . He doesn't ever follow kits and
is definitely a free-thinking and thinks so far outside the box that the box
is nowhere to be seen.



He saw an experiment with sodium acetate, so now he wants that J I would
like to put together my own "kit" for him for Christmas with items he can
use in his experiments. I already know baking soda and vinegar will be in
there.



Also, does anyone know if there's a local place to buy Vex robotics parts?



Thanks for any help. If these questions have been asked before, please
point me in the right direction.



Gina



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Dan Lake

I went to Amazon to check out the Sibling Rivalry book. Amazon suggested
that I might also "enjoy" the following book:

"Setting Limits with Your Strong-Willed Child : Eliminating Conflict by
Establishing Clear, Firm, and Respectful Boundaries" by Robert MacKenzie

Just the title made we want to SCREAM! There are over 100 reviewers praising
this book as the answer to their prayers with such thoughts as:

"Everyday annoying behavior such as whining or nagging are solved by using a
chip system where the child is constantly reminded by an external symbol
(chips in a jar) to modify their responses. I love what the book says about
rewards vs punishment, too. Rewards say to the child "If you comply, you get
a reward, but your response is optional." Punishments REQUIRE compliance,
they are always administered, because the parental response IS NOT OPTIONAL.
You have to perservere! This system takes work, but once in place, you will
see quicker results because the child is respecting your authority and
respecting and internalizing your values. Trust me, this system with a lot
of praise for your child when they do the right thing will go a long way in
developing their character!"

"Fido, Roll Over!"

<Fido Rolls Over>

"Good Dog!"

"Woof!"

~Dan



On Fri, Nov 14, 2008 at 9:30 PM, Professional Parenting <jarnall@...>wrote:

> Would it be too forward to recommend my book? I have five children from
> ages 6-17 and they never fight- LOL! - Just kidding. Some days that's all
> they do.
> Everyday we have conflicts and I put my best tips in the book of how to
> work out conflights so nobody loses and everybody feels respected and
> validated.
> This past week has been bad. As usually, I question whether I should post
> about how things are going and then - surpise- it gets better.
> I have to remember that Fights are about Feelings, never the "presenting
> issue" and if you get at the feelings underneath, things always get better.
> Go easy,
> Judy Arnall, Peaceful Parenting, Family and Relationship Expert, Speaker
> (Professional Member of CAPS) and Author of "Discipline Without Distress:
> 135 tools for raising caring, responsible children without time-out,
> spanking, punishment or bribery" www.professionalparenting.ca Tele: (403)
> 714-6766 Email jarnall@... <jarnall%40shaw.ca> "Peace In The World
> Begins In The Home"
>
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: DancinDeeDee@... <DancinDeeDee%40aol.com>
> To: [email protected]<unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com>
> Sent: Friday, November 14, 2008 9:25 AM
> Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Sibling Rivalry
>
> I read the book. I thought it was very eye opening and gives you several
> scenarios of both an argument that may exist at your home and a potential
> argument diffused with the right words and emotions behind them.
>
> The book also talks about how things that happen between siblings as
> children does in fact remain with them as adults. Like for instance, one
> sister being told she is smart while the other pretty. Well intentioned
> compliments - but after hearing it a time or two, it leaves one feeling only
> smart and the other only pretty. Then as adults we try to make up for that
> with/through our own kids.
>
> I recommend reading it and was lucky enough to find it at the library. I
> never thought my 11 and 4 year old would fight like they were but after
> trying a few things, it has drastically changed for the better.
>
> I hope this helps a bit.
>
> Take care ~ Dee
>
> Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: "swissarmy_wife" <heatherbean@... <heatherbean%40gmail.com>>
>
> Date: Fri, 14 Nov 2008 15:41:15
> To: <[email protected]<unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com>
> >
> Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Sibling Rivalry
>
> I've heard of the book Siblings Without Rivalry. I'm wondering what
> you all think about it?
>
> I'm having some big issues with my 10 and almost 4 boys fighting. A
> lot! I need some new tools because what I'm doing is obviously not
> working.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

Gina, you probably should ask on a local list for "local" hobby shops. This is an international list <g>.

Having said that, there may be some online resources someone can post that could be useful to you and others, too.

And, if you tell us where you live, local folks can respond privately to you.

Robin B.


-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: "Gina Ladd" <gina.ladd@...>
> My name is Gina and I have 5 children. The oldest (22) is out on her own
> going to college. The others (14yob, 10yob, 8yog, 6yog) are still at home
> and we have fallen into unschooling and love it. I am amazed at how well
> they learn on their own.
>
>
>
> My question, our 14yo son is into vex robotics and chemical reactions J I
> have looked online and can't seem to find chemicals to buy for him. Is
> there a local hobby shop, or a specific place online I can buys some of this
> stuff. I don't want a chemistry "kit" . He doesn't ever follow kits and
> is definitely a free-thinking and thinks so far outside the box that the box
> is nowhere to be seen.
>
>
>
> He saw an experiment with sodium acetate, so now he wants that J I would
> like to put together my own "kit" for him for Christmas with items he can
> use in his experiments. I already know baking soda and vinegar will be in
> there.
>
>
>
> Also, does anyone know if there's a local place to buy Vex robotics parts?
>
>
>
> Thanks for any help. If these questions have been asked before, please
> point me in the right direction.
>
>
>
> Gina
>

Jodi Bezzola

I didn't find the book overly helpful because I have twins, and the dynamic of twins isn't explored.  In my experience any advice/suggestions/books have largely left out the multiple experience, so we've really had to just find what works for us.  Jade & Skye (4) are squabbling a LOT these days, so would appreciate any insight from other twin parents out there who have really found what works!
 
Jodi






[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

John Ruschmeyer

This came up in one of my RSS feeds this morning; Illustrated Guide to Home
Chemistry Experiments:

http://www.makershed.com/ProductDetails.asp?ProductCode=9780596514921

John

On Sun, Nov 16, 2008 at 3:07 PM, Meredith <meredith@...> wrote:

> Here's a website with both kits *and* individual chemicals - and all
> the other gear and hoo-haa you could possibly want!
>
> http://www.hometrainingtools.com/catalog/cat_chemistry.html
>
> ---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)
>
>
> ------------------------------------
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Meredith

--- In [email protected], Jodi Bezzola
<jodibezzola@...> wrote:
>Jade & Skye (4) are squabbling a LOT these days

Its rough to be 4. Four yr olds want a Lot of autonomy - which isn't
quite the same as independence. They want exactly as much
independence as they want, and not one jot more. They want exactly as
much help and information as they want, and not one bit more.
Naturally, another 4yo can be a very grating person at this time!

Anything you can do to make the whole household more "kid friendly"
will help reduce the overall stress level. Look around and try to see
how many times a day your kids can't do or get something they want
without needing help of some kind - every one of those is a challenge
to be overcome. That can get frustrating. So a certain amount of the
bickering you're seeing is "last straws" iykwim.

4yos are also just starting to become aware of their environment on a
whole new level, including the people in that environment. They tend
to be a bit more interactive than they were at 3 - and you have two
of them with the same new level of awareness, new level of
interactiveness, and same Lack of social skills - and not much
empathy, besides. They're still communicating and problem solving at
a pretty basic level. The more you can do to be right there with
them, down on the floor, in the middle of things, smoothing over the
rough spots, the more modelling they'll have on which to base some
skills. Unfortunately, you don't have the luxury of distracting a
younger child - so your own skills are going to be streeeeeetched as
you figure out what helps your two.

All that being said, don't disregard the possibility that they are
okay figuring things out on their own (at least some of the time)
squabbles and all. I'm not saying to let them fight it out,
necessarily. But do be open to the idea that some of those squabbles
are how they're working on their relationship right now - and since
they're at the same level of development they may be more okay with
that than if they were even a year apart.

---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)

Kendra

What does he like most about Chemistry?

Book Recommendations:

1. Chemistry in the Community
2. CHEMICAL DEMONSTRATIONS: A Handbook for Teachers of Chemistry
3. Chemistry for Every Kid: 101 Easy Experiments that Really Work

You might get inspiration from these sites

1. http://www.teachertube.com/uprofile.php?UID=20178
2. http://scifun.chem.wisc.edu/HomeExpts/HOMEEXPTS.HTML
3. http://www.lamotte.com/pages/edu/homelist.html

Some fun activities I've done:

1. growing crystals with various salts you can buy at the grocery or drug stores.
2. Making you own litmus paper, use radish, red cabbage, blackberry and more for the
pigments. Google there are more ideas on the net
3. Non-Newtonian Fluid - there are tons of applications you can explore like bouncing
things off the liquid, different concentrations, see what floats and what sinks.
4. Get a water quality test kit from your favorite aquarium store and test/monitor/track
water quality in nearby streams and ponds. Compare results before rain and after rain, in
the day and at night, upstream to downstream of an "influence" , 2 different streams and
etc, endless opportunities.
5. Extract essential oils from herbs - more organic chem but it's safe and easy.

Have fun!

Kendra

--- In [email protected], "Meredith" <meredith@...> wrote:
>
> Here's a website with both kits *and* individual chemicals - and all
> the other gear and hoo-haa you could possibly want!
>
> http://www.hometrainingtools.com/catalog/cat_chemistry.html
>
> ---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)
>

Gina Ladd

Thanks for your replies. It's been about 6 weeks now. With the holidays
and all, my life got kinda insane.



I live in the upstate of SC. I guess I thought this was a local list. I
thought I was on one, but that is fine. I have learned so much from just
reading the notes.



I am still looking for any local supplies, but I can also order online,
since I am not in as much of a hurry.



Thanks again!

Gina



From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of
robin.bentley@...
Sent: Sunday, November 16, 2008 2:48 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Chemistry



Gina, you probably should ask on a local list for "local" hobby shops. This
is an international list <g>.

Having said that, there may be some online resources someone can post that
could be useful to you and others, too.

And, if you tell us where you live, local folks can respond privately to
you.

Robin B.

-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: "Gina Ladd" <gina.ladd@... <mailto:gina.ladd%40gmail.com> >
> My name is Gina and I have 5 children. The oldest (22) is out on her own
> going to college. The others (14yob, 10yob, 8yog, 6yog) are still at home
> and we have fallen into unschooling and love it. I am amazed at how well
> they learn on their own.
>
>
>
> My question, our 14yo son is into vex robotics and chemical reactions J I
> have looked online and can't seem to find chemicals to buy for him. Is
> there a local hobby shop, or a specific place online I can buys some of
this
> stuff. I don't want a chemistry "kit" . He doesn't ever follow kits and
> is definitely a free-thinking and thinks so far outside the box that the
box
> is nowhere to be seen.
>
>
>
> He saw an experiment with sodium acetate, so now he wants that J I would
> like to put together my own "kit" for him for Christmas with items he can
> use in his experiments. I already know baking soda and vinegar will be in
> there.
>
>
>
> Also, does anyone know if there's a local place to buy Vex robotics parts?
>
>
>
> Thanks for any help. If these questions have been asked before, please
> point me in the right direction.
>
>
>
> Gina
>



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10:04 AM



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Kelly Lovejoy

-----Original Message-----
From: Gina Ladd <gina.ladd@...>


I live in the upstate of SC. I guess I thought this was a local list. I
thought I was on one, but that is fine. I have learned so much from just
reading the notes.

--=-=-=-=-=
The SC state-wide unschooling list is [email protected].



-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

I am still looking for any local supplies, but I can also order online,
since I am not in as much of a hurry.

-=-=-=-=-=-=


As for upstate, SC: contact the SC Homeschool Resource Directory. Susan Ledford (in Spartanburg) publishes a wonderful resource for all things homeschooling in SC---but it really has MUCH more for the upstate.




http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HSRD_Update/  This is her online update for the book. Here's the decription:




*********************

Description





This loop is designed to be a companion to the print version of the Homeschool Resources Directory. Any member may post information that homeschoolers in SC would benefit from. All posts are moderated to guard against spam! To receive information on the printed publication of the Homeschool Resources Directory, please contact me at hsrd@.... *DO NOT* reply to posts from this loop; always look for a contact phone number or e-mail address for the individual involved. I look forward to hearing from you. Happy Homeschooling!

Susan Ledford, Editor





 *********************




Also, consider joining Robert Krampf's Experiment of the Week=2
0e-list. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/krampf/  He sends an experiment each week with links and info. 




He also has a website: http://krampf.com/  which is full of his experiments so that you can do more than just one a week.


~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
http://www.SchoolsOutSupport.com














[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Robin Krest

Good sources for chemicals are:

www.fishersci.com (Fisher Scientific) They have a section for Sci Ed, where you can get less expensive versions of lab chemicals.

also www.vwrsp.com

Both of these places are where labs purchase chemicals. Try calling to see what they can offer you for an educational discount.

You could also contact a local University ans ask for their Science Education Department or their Education Department. They may be able to help you with resources for the chemicals as well.

Good luck! I was in Columbia, SC for 6 years...now in Florida.

Robin

Independent Future Director and Trainer with The Pampered Chef
727.823.7246
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/RobinKrest



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