mnbyelich

I'm pretty new to the unschooling way of life and so far have really
been excited about this new lifestyle as I feel it is so respectful
of my kids and I really want to see them flourish. However, here is
my question regarding food control/issues. For about 3 weeks now,
I've been letting my kids make their own choices about food but I
have also been preparing lots of healthy snacks and meals for them to
have as choices as well.

My son has really been excited about having some "fun"
options/choices and has been really focusing on eating lots of ice
cream, cookies, candy, etc. Some days he does make some other
choices...like grilled cheese, eggs. I find that he has been making
choices that *I* consider more healthy so I believe he will *balance*
out once he truly realizes that he has these choices available to him
when he wants them but I noticed tonight that he is putting on
weight. I don't mean to sound focused on his appearance but I'm
starting to have some fear that he may gain a lot of extra weight
during this time of exploring his choices and that he may then have
some problems getting rid of the weight, now or when he is older. My
husband was a heavy kid and his family has a tendency to be on the
heavier side; he fears this too. And it is not just appearances, I
worry about his health.

I'd love to hear from anyone who has feedback/comments.
Thanks so much!
natalie

Debra Rossing

How old is your DS? There are normal times when kids DO put on weight and *need* to do so because they are growing. I know with my DS, he "inchworms" so to speak - he'll get a visible bit of a belly, then he'll shoot up an inch or two, then stabilize, then repeat. I've had the occasional anxious thought about it because weight issues run in both families along with hypertension, high cholesterol, and diabetes (I'm type 2, diagnosed 2 years ago). BUT I remind myself of the pattern he's had since he was a baby. And I make sure that nutritious stuff is available - not hard since he's come to prefer our homemade whole grain options to most store bought stuff (except one brand of organic oreo-like cookies - he prefers them to true Oreos because he says they're creamier inside). Also, if I'm getting anxious about it, I make an extra effort to find/offer/do myself some more active things like suggesting a visit to one of our favorite nature/walking trails (we go in just about any season, provided it's not pouring rain or snowing). On his own, he's decided that riding the exercise bike while reading whatever his current book is works out well for him. We got the bike for me to use but I've decided I prefer our treadmill and DS uses the bike more often. It's quiet, it's convenient, and he can ride whenever he wants (Because it's quiet) sometimes he'll jump on the bike at 11 pm and read a bit as DH and I are heading to bed. He's determined that 5 minutes on the bike is enough for him to read one chapter in his Bionicle series book. So, he'll do 5 minutes here and there. He's also 10 ½ so I know that he's heading into a pre-puberty time when he's likely to add weight before he sprouts up taller than me. We've never regulated his eating in his life (aside from "Well, we're out of oranges, it'll have to wait until grocery shopping on Saturday but I'll go ahead and add it to the list right now") so it's not quite the exact same situation - he has no concerns that we're going to take away something anytime soon.

Deb R


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Meredith

--- In [email protected], "mnbyelich" <nbyelich@...>
wrote:
>My
> husband was a heavy kid and his family has a tendency to be on the
> heavier side; he fears this too. And it is not just appearances, I
> worry about his health.

Does your husband have health problems? Some of my family members are
on the heavier side (like me) and some have health problems - but its
not an exact correspondence. I've found it helpful in thinking about
my own weight and health (and my kids') to separate those two
concepts.

Something else to keep in mind is that some kids naturally "bulk up"
before a growth spurt. My kids' eating habits both change right
before they shoot up another inch or so - lots more proteins *and*
fats.

>he may then have
> some problems getting rid of the weight, now or when he is older.

The more he can feel like *he's* the one in control of what and how
he eats, the more successful he'll be if he decides to change his
habits.

---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)

mnbyelich

Thank you both so much, I really feel much better!
natalie

--- In [email protected], "Meredith" <meredith@...>
wrote:
>
> --- In [email protected], "mnbyelich" <nbyelich@>
> wrote:
> >My
> > husband was a heavy kid and his family has a tendency to be on
the
> > heavier side; he fears this too. And it is not just appearances,
I
> > worry about his health.
>
> Does your husband have health problems? Some of my family members
are
> on the heavier side (like me) and some have health problems - but
its
> not an exact correspondence. I've found it helpful in thinking
about
> my own weight and health (and my kids') to separate those two
> concepts.
>
> Something else to keep in mind is that some kids naturally "bulk
up"
> before a growth spurt. My kids' eating habits both change right
> before they shoot up another inch or so - lots more proteins *and*
> fats.
>
> >he may then have
> > some problems getting rid of the weight, now or when he is
older.
>
> The more he can feel like *he's* the one in control of what and how
> he eats, the more successful he'll be if he decides to change his
> habits.
>
> ---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)
>