Newish to unschooling
ladyslinky
Hello I am new to this list and newish to unschooling. I am not very
good with introductions but here we go.
In our family it is me and my husband and my 2 girls who are 6 and 13
till January. I am the daughter of a upper level division university
professor and as such my eldest started her formal education at the
tender age of 2 when I started my collage education. She started with
Montessori schools and seemed to be thriving till she turned 6 and
entered public school where things started to go downhill.
Despite the deplorable social environment of school which had not
changed since I loathed going to school as a child she excelled
scoring in the top 90% of that test they like to give every year. She
was even invited to test into the accelerated program. Only problem
was the timed math tests. She could not handle them and because of
this the teacher assigned her to do one every single day which meant
we spent 3 to 4 hours fighting her to get her to do one 5 min test
every night. That and the hours of fighting every morning to get her
to school and I had enough.
Being friends with a homeschooling mom made me think we could do it.
So when she failed to get into the accelerated program due to the
timed math I decided it was proof that she had already learned what
the school could teach her (how to take that yearly test) and it was
not worth the fights and the tears everyday.
Its now about 3 years later and we have spent most of that
deschooling. We did try to do some homeschooling but the eldest just
wants nothing to do with any kind of school like learning.
Traditional parenting has never seemed to work for them either. At
least I have been a failure parent in every parenting class I have
ever been in because I can't make my family do anything none of the
techniques seem to work on them and I feel most of it is highly
manipulative.
Anyway that is a little about us and how we got here.
good with introductions but here we go.
In our family it is me and my husband and my 2 girls who are 6 and 13
till January. I am the daughter of a upper level division university
professor and as such my eldest started her formal education at the
tender age of 2 when I started my collage education. She started with
Montessori schools and seemed to be thriving till she turned 6 and
entered public school where things started to go downhill.
Despite the deplorable social environment of school which had not
changed since I loathed going to school as a child she excelled
scoring in the top 90% of that test they like to give every year. She
was even invited to test into the accelerated program. Only problem
was the timed math tests. She could not handle them and because of
this the teacher assigned her to do one every single day which meant
we spent 3 to 4 hours fighting her to get her to do one 5 min test
every night. That and the hours of fighting every morning to get her
to school and I had enough.
Being friends with a homeschooling mom made me think we could do it.
So when she failed to get into the accelerated program due to the
timed math I decided it was proof that she had already learned what
the school could teach her (how to take that yearly test) and it was
not worth the fights and the tears everyday.
Its now about 3 years later and we have spent most of that
deschooling. We did try to do some homeschooling but the eldest just
wants nothing to do with any kind of school like learning.
Traditional parenting has never seemed to work for them either. At
least I have been a failure parent in every parenting class I have
ever been in because I can't make my family do anything none of the
techniques seem to work on them and I feel most of it is highly
manipulative.
Anyway that is a little about us and how we got here.
Meredith
--- In [email protected], "ladyslinky"
<lady_slinky@...> wrote:
do anything - its not even about tricks and "techniques" really. Or
perhaps I should say that most of the "techniques" have to do with
shifting the way *you* think about things ;)
and now he's 15. I'm so out of touch with the grade thing these days,
I honestly have to look it up when I go to file paperwork with the
state. Anyway, he's still totally disinterested in anything that
smacks of schoolish "learning". For all that, he's a busy, active
learner, for sure. We're currently going through some rounds with his
bio mom, who still has part custody, who's concerned he's "not
learning anything". Ray was the first one to pipe up and say "Of
course I'm learning! I'm learning all the time - its not like school
where you're only allowed to learn when everyone finally turns to
page 375 or something."
(she's 7, now). Over time, as I learned more and more about radical
unschooling, I discovered that the parts of Montessori that are most
like unschooling were the parts I (and Mo) liked best anyway.
The "begin with observation" parts and the "follow the child" parts.
Those lead right to unschooling - look at what your child is doing,
likes to do, struggles with, and find ways to support and help
*without getting in the way*. That's a common theme in both
montessori and unschooling.
wonder what I'm doing ;) Welcome to the list and to unschooling.
---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)
<lady_slinky@...> wrote:
>> Traditional parenting has never seemed to work for them either. AtHappily, unschooling isn't about manipulation or making your family
> least I have been a failure parent in every parenting class I have
> ever been in because I can't make my family do anything none of the
> techniques seem to work on them and I feel most of it is highly
> manipulative.
do anything - its not even about tricks and "techniques" really. Or
perhaps I should say that most of the "techniques" have to do with
shifting the way *you* think about things ;)
>> Its now about 3 years later and we have spent most of thatRay went to school from grades 1- um...I don't remember... he was 13,
> deschooling. We did try to do some homeschooling but the eldest just
> wants nothing to do with any kind of school like learning.
and now he's 15. I'm so out of touch with the grade thing these days,
I honestly have to look it up when I go to file paperwork with the
state. Anyway, he's still totally disinterested in anything that
smacks of schoolish "learning". For all that, he's a busy, active
learner, for sure. We're currently going through some rounds with his
bio mom, who still has part custody, who's concerned he's "not
learning anything". Ray was the first one to pipe up and say "Of
course I'm learning! I'm learning all the time - its not like school
where you're only allowed to learn when everyone finally turns to
page 375 or something."
>She started withI started out doing some Montessori stuff at home when Mo was 3ish
> Montessori schools and seemed to be thriving till she turned 6 and
> entered public school where things started to go downhill.
(she's 7, now). Over time, as I learned more and more about radical
unschooling, I discovered that the parts of Montessori that are most
like unschooling were the parts I (and Mo) liked best anyway.
The "begin with observation" parts and the "follow the child" parts.
Those lead right to unschooling - look at what your child is doing,
likes to do, struggles with, and find ways to support and help
*without getting in the way*. That's a common theme in both
montessori and unschooling.
> I am new to this list and newish to unschooling. I am not veryI'm not good at intros either - I tend to dive right in and then
> good with introductions but here we go.
wonder what I'm doing ;) Welcome to the list and to unschooling.
---Meredith (Mo 7, Ray 15)
lyeping2008
Hi ladyslinky,
Welcome to the list.
It sounded like your kid is smart enough to say "enough is enough"
and refused to play by the rules anymore, other than her own rules.
And you're very right about your family priorities here.
3 years of deschoooling seems rather long but still possible. Have
it ever occured to you that you're already unschooling? The boundary
between deschooling and unschooling melts somewhere in between.
Our unschooling is nothing resembling school at all, no scheduled
learning and no testing. My kid cannot do anything timed anyway,
including his ps2 games.
Our days is pretty much about playing and watching tv and talking
alot and lots of bedtime stories everynight. This is the preferred
mode of learning for the moment now. And my son LO......VEs money,
so lots of spending and counting and negotiating for money.
Best wishes
SharonBugs.
Welcome to the list.
It sounded like your kid is smart enough to say "enough is enough"
and refused to play by the rules anymore, other than her own rules.
And you're very right about your family priorities here.
>> it was not worth the fights and the tears everyday.just wants nothing to do with any kind of school like learning.
> Its now about 3 years later and we have spent most of that
> deschooling. We did try to do some homeschooling but the eldest
3 years of deschoooling seems rather long but still possible. Have
it ever occured to you that you're already unschooling? The boundary
between deschooling and unschooling melts somewhere in between.
Our unschooling is nothing resembling school at all, no scheduled
learning and no testing. My kid cannot do anything timed anyway,
including his ps2 games.
Our days is pretty much about playing and watching tv and talking
alot and lots of bedtime stories everynight. This is the preferred
mode of learning for the moment now. And my son LO......VEs money,
so lots of spending and counting and negotiating for money.
Best wishes
SharonBugs.