Mom's place in an argument between kids
Erin
How do you guys handle "arguments" or disagreements between your
children. Just a little while ago my 10 year old was being really rude
to my 6 year old and it is very hard to just sit by and "allow" it to
continue. It's never a physical thing, but the words that flow from
their lips can be so incredibly hateful. I think I'm mainly struggling
with it being a sort of "bully" situation since the 10 year old is so
much more mentally "mature" than the 6 year old.
I do not talk to the kids, or anyone else, the way they talk to each
other when they are mad, btw!!! I don't want the kids to feel like
they cannot express their emotions, but I also don't want them to
verbally abuse each other!
So, do you step in? Do you talk to the kids individually or together?
What do you do when your kids "fight"?
children. Just a little while ago my 10 year old was being really rude
to my 6 year old and it is very hard to just sit by and "allow" it to
continue. It's never a physical thing, but the words that flow from
their lips can be so incredibly hateful. I think I'm mainly struggling
with it being a sort of "bully" situation since the 10 year old is so
much more mentally "mature" than the 6 year old.
I do not talk to the kids, or anyone else, the way they talk to each
other when they are mad, btw!!! I don't want the kids to feel like
they cannot express their emotions, but I also don't want them to
verbally abuse each other!
So, do you step in? Do you talk to the kids individually or together?
What do you do when your kids "fight"?
Kathleen Gehrke
--- In [email protected], "Erin" <theburkemommy@...>
wrote:
anything treat each other harshly.
I often speak to them quietly and personally. I try and help them
review what happened so they can get clear on it. Then I ask how they
felt about it. Often they will have had time to cool down and they
will unprompted offer and apology to the other.
I have two of my kids who seem to often end up in a power sort of
thing. It is really hard on me. I have also owned this with them.
With those two especially I will watch for signs of them getting on
each others nerves and try to get them in seperate areas of the
house. In a redirecting sort of way. Like I'll see if someone wants
to help me in the kitchen, or a game of cards, or a walk. Or
sometimes icecream. Remember this is just when I sense that they are
wearing on each other. I also watch for tired, hungry or stressed in
my kids because it is those things that make me lash out.
Those are just several ideas and probably none of them new to you.
Kathleen
wrote:
>I cringe... I also hate when two people whom I love more than
> How do you guys handle "arguments" or disagreements between your
> children.
anything treat each other harshly.
I often speak to them quietly and personally. I try and help them
review what happened so they can get clear on it. Then I ask how they
felt about it. Often they will have had time to cool down and they
will unprompted offer and apology to the other.
I have two of my kids who seem to often end up in a power sort of
thing. It is really hard on me. I have also owned this with them.
With those two especially I will watch for signs of them getting on
each others nerves and try to get them in seperate areas of the
house. In a redirecting sort of way. Like I'll see if someone wants
to help me in the kitchen, or a game of cards, or a walk. Or
sometimes icecream. Remember this is just when I sense that they are
wearing on each other. I also watch for tired, hungry or stressed in
my kids because it is those things that make me lash out.
Those are just several ideas and probably none of them new to you.
Kathleen
Erin
Thank you, Kathleen! I am quite familiar with those things and I do
thank you for your reply. I want to stay out of it when possible, but
it definitely bothers me when my kids treat each other badly. I know
it can't feel "good" to them! I know I don't want to be controlling
with them and their experiences, so it's good to hear what others do to
head-off a heated exchange without being a controlling parent!
Thank you!
Erin
thank you for your reply. I want to stay out of it when possible, but
it definitely bothers me when my kids treat each other badly. I know
it can't feel "good" to them! I know I don't want to be controlling
with them and their experiences, so it's good to hear what others do to
head-off a heated exchange without being a controlling parent!
Thank you!
Erin