Re: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Just some thoughts that I could use some assistance with
Schuyler
I've gotten in social hot water for being to forthright about my feelings about parenting and food, largely. The potential cost for my social faux pas was to Linnaea and to Simon and not to me. Because of that I've worked really hard to change my perspective and thus my approach. One is to recognize that I'm not all that concerned about the parenting, more about the child. That means I can be generous to the child without worrying about what their parent is doing, or at least not so much. It may not seem to make a lot of difference, but it kind of cuts them out of the picture. It allows me to worry less about the parenting and just be the adult I want to be when interacting with the child or children. The other thing that helps is to recognize how lucky I am that I get to do this life. I know that it's not just luck, it's a lot of work and thought and reading and breathing and patience and curiousity and exploration. But I have a life where I can be home
or out and about with Simon and Linnaea in ways that so many other people I know just don't seem to be able to manage. And while I am sure if this life was something they really wanted they could achieve it, it is still because of all the wonderful gifts in my life that I am able to do this. It helps a lot to see my life as this wonderful joyous trip that I'm on. Sometimes I screw up, some moments I suck and grouch and say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Who am I to throw stones at glass houses? I get to live with my choices and so do other parents.
I try and limit my expression of opinion to appropriate forums. Here is great. Here I'm asked what I think and for help and advice. In other people's homes and lives and company I don't have to be on call as an advisor. And when I'm asked for advice, I need to take it with a grain of salt, and be prepared not to have anything that I say be taken more as a momentary conversation.
Schuyler
http://www.waynforth.blogspot.com
<snip>
I wonder if this is a universal, or at least very common unschooling
experience. I'm much less tolerant of differences in parenting than I
used to be. I'm much more likely to speak up and be a pain than I used
to be. I think I'm much more opinionated and abrasive than before
unschooling. I don't think my circle is as wide, but my friendships
seem more "real." I seem more "real."
__.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
or out and about with Simon and Linnaea in ways that so many other people I know just don't seem to be able to manage. And while I am sure if this life was something they really wanted they could achieve it, it is still because of all the wonderful gifts in my life that I am able to do this. It helps a lot to see my life as this wonderful joyous trip that I'm on. Sometimes I screw up, some moments I suck and grouch and say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Who am I to throw stones at glass houses? I get to live with my choices and so do other parents.
I try and limit my expression of opinion to appropriate forums. Here is great. Here I'm asked what I think and for help and advice. In other people's homes and lives and company I don't have to be on call as an advisor. And when I'm asked for advice, I need to take it with a grain of salt, and be prepared not to have anything that I say be taken more as a momentary conversation.
Schuyler
http://www.waynforth.blogspot.com
<snip>
I wonder if this is a universal, or at least very common unschooling
experience. I'm much less tolerant of differences in parenting than I
used to be. I'm much more likely to speak up and be a pain than I used
to be. I think I'm much more opinionated and abrasive than before
unschooling. I don't think my circle is as wide, but my friendships
seem more "real." I seem more "real."
__.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kelly Lovejoy
I want to be Schuyler.
My tongue will be bloody, but that's my new goal.
~Kelly
-----Original Message-----
From: Schuyler <s.waynforth@...>\
I've gotten in social hot water for being to forthright about my feelings about
parenting and food, largely. The potential cost for my social faux pas was to
Linnaea and to Simon and not to me. Because of that I've worked really hard to
change my perspective and thus my approach. One is to recognize that I'm not all
that concerned about the parenting, more about the child. That means I can be
generous to the child without worrying about what their parent is doing, or at
least not so much. It may not seem to make a lot of difference, but it kind of
cuts them out of the picture. It allows me to worry less about the parenting and
just be the adult I want to be when interacting with the child or children. The
other thing that helps is to recognize how lucky I am that I get to do this
life. I know that it's not just luck, it's a lot of work and thought and reading
and breathing and patience and curiousity and exploration. But I have a life
where I can be home
or out and about with Simon and Linnaea in ways that so many other people I
know just don't seem to be able to manage. And while I am sure if this life was
something they really wanted they could achieve it, it is still because of all
the wonderful gifts in my life that I am able to do this. It helps a lot to see
my life as this wonderful joyous trip that I'm on. Sometimes I screw up, some
moments I suck and grouch and say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Who am I to
throw stones at glass houses? I get to live with my choices and so do other
parents.
I try and limit my expression of opinion to appropriate forums. Here is great.
Here I'm asked what I think and for help and advice. In other people's homes and
lives and company I don't have to be on call as an advisor. And when I'm asked
for advice, I need to take it with a grain of salt, and be prepared not to have
anything that I say be taken more as a momentary conversation.
Schuyler
http://www.waynforth.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My tongue will be bloody, but that's my new goal.
~Kelly
-----Original Message-----
From: Schuyler <s.waynforth@...>\
I've gotten in social hot water for being to forthright about my feelings about
parenting and food, largely. The potential cost for my social faux pas was to
Linnaea and to Simon and not to me. Because of that I've worked really hard to
change my perspective and thus my approach. One is to recognize that I'm not all
that concerned about the parenting, more about the child. That means I can be
generous to the child without worrying about what their parent is doing, or at
least not so much. It may not seem to make a lot of difference, but it kind of
cuts them out of the picture. It allows me to worry less about the parenting and
just be the adult I want to be when interacting with the child or children. The
other thing that helps is to recognize how lucky I am that I get to do this
life. I know that it's not just luck, it's a lot of work and thought and reading
and breathing and patience and curiousity and exploration. But I have a life
where I can be home
or out and about with Simon and Linnaea in ways that so many other people I
know just don't seem to be able to manage. And while I am sure if this life was
something they really wanted they could achieve it, it is still because of all
the wonderful gifts in my life that I am able to do this. It helps a lot to see
my life as this wonderful joyous trip that I'm on. Sometimes I screw up, some
moments I suck and grouch and say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Who am I to
throw stones at glass houses? I get to live with my choices and so do other
parents.
I try and limit my expression of opinion to appropriate forums. Here is great.
Here I'm asked what I think and for help and advice. In other people's homes and
lives and company I don't have to be on call as an advisor. And when I'm asked
for advice, I need to take it with a grain of salt, and be prepared not to have
anything that I say be taken more as a momentary conversation.
Schuyler
http://www.waynforth.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
schuyliz2
--- In [email protected], Kelly Lovejoy
<kbcdlovejo@...> wrote:
Mostly I just don't hangout with the adults. Usually I can play with
the kids. Having lots of other things to talk about helps, too.
Anything so long as it doesn't touch on children and childcare. And
when it does it becomes a pass the potato salad moment. Unless it's a
good preaching to the converted moment. I like those. But otherwise, I
have to walk a very randomly laid minefield knowing that there isn't a
map. Jeez, I sure like being social...
Schuyler
http://www.waynforth.blogspot.com
<kbcdlovejo@...> wrote:
>My tongue is often bruised if not bloody and the inside of my cheek.
> I want to be Schuyler.
>
>
>
> My tongue will be bloody, but that's my new goal.
>
>
> ~Kelly
>
Mostly I just don't hangout with the adults. Usually I can play with
the kids. Having lots of other things to talk about helps, too.
Anything so long as it doesn't touch on children and childcare. And
when it does it becomes a pass the potato salad moment. Unless it's a
good preaching to the converted moment. I like those. But otherwise, I
have to walk a very randomly laid minefield knowing that there isn't a
map. Jeez, I sure like being social...
Schuyler
http://www.waynforth.blogspot.com
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
I want to be Schuyler.
Mostly I just don't hangout with the adults. Usually I can play with
the kids. Having lots of other things to talk about helps, too.
Anything so long as it doesn't touch on children and childcare. And
when it does it becomes a pass the potato salad moment. Unless it's a
good preaching to the converted moment. I like those. But otherwise, I
have to walk a very randomly laid minefield knowing that there isn't a
map. Jeez, I sure like being social.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Geez! Two of my favorite people in the whole world!!!
Schuyler I just love you and your family.
You and Kelly are sooooo wonderful and .....I have no words to describe this two women!
They inspire and move me.
I love you girls!
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
----- Original Message ----
From: schuyliz2 <s.waynforth@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, October 11, 2008 4:27:05 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Just some thoughts that I could use some assistance with
--- In unschoolingbasics@ yahoogroups. com, Kelly Lovejoy
<kbcdlovejo@ ...> wrote:
Mostly I just don't hangout with the adults. Usually I can play with
the kids. Having lots of other things to talk about helps, too.
Anything so long as it doesn't touch on children and childcare. And
when it does it becomes a pass the potato salad moment. Unless it's a
good preaching to the converted moment. I like those. But otherwise, I
have to walk a very randomly laid minefield knowing that there isn't a
map. Jeez, I sure like being social...
Schuyler
http://www.waynfort h.blogspot. com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>My tongue is often bruised if not bloody and the inside of my cheek.
>
>
> My tongue will be bloody, but that's my new goal.
>
>
> ~Kelly
>
Mostly I just don't hangout with the adults. Usually I can play with
the kids. Having lots of other things to talk about helps, too.
Anything so long as it doesn't touch on children and childcare. And
when it does it becomes a pass the potato salad moment. Unless it's a
good preaching to the converted moment. I like those. But otherwise, I
have to walk a very randomly laid minefield knowing that there isn't a
map. Jeez, I sure like being social.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Geez! Two of my favorite people in the whole world!!!
Schuyler I just love you and your family.
You and Kelly are sooooo wonderful and .....I have no words to describe this two women!
They inspire and move me.
I love you girls!
Alex Polikowsky
http://polykow.blogspot.com/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingmn/
----- Original Message ----
From: schuyliz2 <s.waynforth@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Saturday, October 11, 2008 4:27:05 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Just some thoughts that I could use some assistance with
--- In unschoolingbasics@ yahoogroups. com, Kelly Lovejoy
<kbcdlovejo@ ...> wrote:
>My tongue is often bruised if not bloody and the inside of my cheek.
> I want to be Schuyler.
>
>
>
> My tongue will be bloody, but that's my new goal.
>
>
> ~Kelly
>
Mostly I just don't hangout with the adults. Usually I can play with
the kids. Having lots of other things to talk about helps, too.
Anything so long as it doesn't touch on children and childcare. And
when it does it becomes a pass the potato salad moment. Unless it's a
good preaching to the converted moment. I like those. But otherwise, I
have to walk a very randomly laid minefield knowing that there isn't a
map. Jeez, I sure like being social...
Schuyler
http://www.waynfort h.blogspot. com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]