7 y.o. dd in need
DJ250
Hi, All,
My 7 y.o. daughter is somewhat of an enigma. She seems to struggle
with wanting to have friends (like her extrovert, outgoing sister) but
is then very picky about any prospective "friend" she meets. This kid
is too "this" or that kid is too "that". So, she is in the shadow of
her older sister (9) but also recognizes that she is not like her in
personality. She feels she has to "pretend" (her words) to have fun
with the other kids when get together. I'm trying to figure this out.
She just can't seem to meet that special, just-right kid. She's happy
most of the time, really, but I think this is an issue that weighs on
her little mind.
~Melissa :-)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My 7 y.o. daughter is somewhat of an enigma. She seems to struggle
with wanting to have friends (like her extrovert, outgoing sister) but
is then very picky about any prospective "friend" she meets. This kid
is too "this" or that kid is too "that". So, she is in the shadow of
her older sister (9) but also recognizes that she is not like her in
personality. She feels she has to "pretend" (her words) to have fun
with the other kids when get together. I'm trying to figure this out.
She just can't seem to meet that special, just-right kid. She's happy
most of the time, really, but I think this is an issue that weighs on
her little mind.
~Melissa :-)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Zoa Conner
Melissa,
When you dd7 is meeting new potential friends it is always in the family
context? I mean, if her older sister always there? If so, your youngest
might appreciate the chance to meet some potential new friends while big sis
is off with some of her friends.
Zoa
P.S. I think we met at the College Park Aviation Museum...
When you dd7 is meeting new potential friends it is always in the family
context? I mean, if her older sister always there? If so, your youngest
might appreciate the chance to meet some potential new friends while big sis
is off with some of her friends.
Zoa
P.S. I think we met at the College Park Aviation Museum...
On 9/16/08 10:09 AM, "DJ250" <dj250@...> wrote:
> Hi, All,
>
> My 7 y.o. daughter is somewhat of an enigma. She seems to struggle
> with wanting to have friends (like her extrovert, outgoing sister) but
> is then very picky about any prospective "friend" she meets. This kid
> is too "this" or that kid is too "that". So, she is in the shadow of
> her older sister (9) but also recognizes that she is not like her in
> personality. She feels she has to "pretend" (her words) to have fun
> with the other kids when get together. I'm trying to figure this out.
> She just can't seem to meet that special, just-right kid. She's happy
> most of the time, really, but I think this is an issue that weighs on
> her little mind.
>
> ~Melissa :-)
----------------
Zoa Conner, PhD
Physicist and Organic Learning Mother
zoaconner@...
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
DJ250
Sometimes it's when dd9 is there (and dd7 sees her run off with other
kids-which is a bit upsetting because 1. dd9 makes friends easily and
2. dd9 is no longer available to play with at the moment ) and sometimes
when dd9 has run off down the street to be with her friends and dd7 is
still here. It'd be nice if there were more younger girls from which to
choose around here (in the afternoon, specifically, when we're home from
the day's adventures and dd9 has run off with the schooled friends down
the street). There are a couple but dd7 has decided she doesn't want to
spend time with them. A boy down the street asks periodically if he can
play with dd7 but she says she's not interested. Argh!
~Melissa
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Zoa Conner
Sent: Tuesday, September 16, 2008 10:14 AM
To: unschoolingbasics
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] 7 y.o. dd in need
Melissa,
When you dd7 is meeting new potential friends - it is always in the
family
context? I mean, if her older sister always there? If so, your youngest
might appreciate the chance to meet some potential new friends while big
sis
is off with some of her friends.
Zoa
P.S. I think we met at the College Park Aviation Museum...
On 9/16/08 10:09 AM, "DJ250" <dj250@verizon.
<mailto:dj250%40verizon.net> net> wrote:
Zoa Conner, PhD
Physicist and Organic Learning Mother
zoaconner@comcast. <mailto:zoaconner%40comcast.net> net
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
kids-which is a bit upsetting because 1. dd9 makes friends easily and
2. dd9 is no longer available to play with at the moment ) and sometimes
when dd9 has run off down the street to be with her friends and dd7 is
still here. It'd be nice if there were more younger girls from which to
choose around here (in the afternoon, specifically, when we're home from
the day's adventures and dd9 has run off with the schooled friends down
the street). There are a couple but dd7 has decided she doesn't want to
spend time with them. A boy down the street asks periodically if he can
play with dd7 but she says she's not interested. Argh!
~Melissa
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Zoa Conner
Sent: Tuesday, September 16, 2008 10:14 AM
To: unschoolingbasics
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] 7 y.o. dd in need
Melissa,
When you dd7 is meeting new potential friends - it is always in the
family
context? I mean, if her older sister always there? If so, your youngest
might appreciate the chance to meet some potential new friends while big
sis
is off with some of her friends.
Zoa
P.S. I think we met at the College Park Aviation Museum...
On 9/16/08 10:09 AM, "DJ250" <dj250@verizon.
<mailto:dj250%40verizon.net> net> wrote:
> Hi, All,----------------
>
> My 7 y.o. daughter is somewhat of an enigma. She seems to struggle
> with wanting to have friends (like her extrovert, outgoing sister) but
> is then very picky about any prospective "friend" she meets. This kid
> is too "this" or that kid is too "that". So, she is in the shadow of
> her older sister (9) but also recognizes that she is not like her in
> personality. She feels she has to "pretend" (her words) to have fun
> with the other kids when get together. I'm trying to figure this out.
> She just can't seem to meet that special, just-right kid. She's happy
> most of the time, really, but I think this is an issue that weighs on
> her little mind.
>
> ~Melissa :-)
Zoa Conner, PhD
Physicist and Organic Learning Mother
zoaconner@comcast. <mailto:zoaconner%40comcast.net> net
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
k
It'd be nice if there were more younger girls from which to
choose around here (in the afternoon, specifically, when we're home from
the day's adventures and dd9 has run off with the schooled friends down
the street). There are a couple but dd7 has decided she doesn't want to
spend time with them. A boy down the street asks periodically if he can
play with dd7 but she says she's not interested. Argh!
I have only just realized that Karl likes to have something to do or share
or work through in order to be comfortable around other kids when he's
feeling awkward and new. Sometimes in order to keep personal integrity
people get bristly in uncomfortable situations. Karl is a take charge guy
but he's also learning a lot socially. And having some physical object as a
bridge to other kids gives him some experience with them to decide if
they're ok without directly committing himself. We brought his play acting
clothes and even though it wasn't a smooth transition, he was able to talk
through with the objects and figure out something he could be the leader on
and still end up playing with the other kids.
Also there are *reasons* that kids don't like each other sometimes and don't
want to play. Karl had been hanging out with some kids for years (since he
was 3) and though they have left school and are at home all day now
homeschooling, they have a lot of schoolthink and Karl got questioned about
his reading skills and called a baby. Had the unfriendly behavior of one of
the kids not been so outright I would never have known anything untoward was
going on. It was only after Karl got yelled at in the face "YES" so
aggressively that I realized something really wrong (and unexplained) was
going on. Days later, Karl was able to talk about reading and being told
he's a baby. So I didn't know what was going on right then but he
eventually told me and then I understood some of the inexplicable undertones
I had been noticing before the yelling. Sometimes kids have disagreements
or uncomfortable things going on that they want to avoid staying in the
middle of.
~Katherine
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
choose around here (in the afternoon, specifically, when we're home from
the day's adventures and dd9 has run off with the schooled friends down
the street). There are a couple but dd7 has decided she doesn't want to
spend time with them. A boy down the street asks periodically if he can
play with dd7 but she says she's not interested. Argh!
I have only just realized that Karl likes to have something to do or share
or work through in order to be comfortable around other kids when he's
feeling awkward and new. Sometimes in order to keep personal integrity
people get bristly in uncomfortable situations. Karl is a take charge guy
but he's also learning a lot socially. And having some physical object as a
bridge to other kids gives him some experience with them to decide if
they're ok without directly committing himself. We brought his play acting
clothes and even though it wasn't a smooth transition, he was able to talk
through with the objects and figure out something he could be the leader on
and still end up playing with the other kids.
Also there are *reasons* that kids don't like each other sometimes and don't
want to play. Karl had been hanging out with some kids for years (since he
was 3) and though they have left school and are at home all day now
homeschooling, they have a lot of schoolthink and Karl got questioned about
his reading skills and called a baby. Had the unfriendly behavior of one of
the kids not been so outright I would never have known anything untoward was
going on. It was only after Karl got yelled at in the face "YES" so
aggressively that I realized something really wrong (and unexplained) was
going on. Days later, Karl was able to talk about reading and being told
he's a baby. So I didn't know what was going on right then but he
eventually told me and then I understood some of the inexplicable undertones
I had been noticing before the yelling. Sometimes kids have disagreements
or uncomfortable things going on that they want to avoid staying in the
middle of.
~Katherine
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]