Gillian Goddard

I think that many of us are our children's best ally. And for me
that means that when I see them being mistreated I have to find a
way, often a creative one, to be on their side. And many times it
means finding a way to remove them from the situation. When people
make snide comments about my children's hair, their clothes, their
love for the computer, their outspoken language, whatever, it is
usually a good time to skillfully try to change the subject or if
they are persistent with the comments then to leave the place.
There are some gender differences for sure. Usually being an ally to
my son means finding ways to support him expressing his emotions -
especially crying. And that includes encouraging other boys to feel
their feelings and express them. He is always hearing - you are too
old (eg to co-sleep - he is 8 1/2), you have to control yourself
(when he cries deeply), and you have to learn to face the real
world. And for my daughter being an ally usually means standing up
for her when people say she 'can't'. She is always hearing - you are
too young, you won't understand, are you sure she's able to (the last
one addressed to me in front of her).
So stand up for your child the way that you seem to be doing. There
will be constant challenges to your confidence and once in a while it
is so wonderful when your children let you know how much they are
aware that they can count on you to be on their side.
Gillian