Cary Seston

Cecily,

Sounds like you are searching for the words to give to your mom so that she will support you. Us Moms---we're so powerful. I want my 3 DC's to approve of themselves. I want to give myself the same gift. I love unschooling b/c I am finally approving of myself little by little. It actually sounds like you know what to do re: your ds. But re: your Mom---when you give her your reasons, their will be yet another "issue" that she will have.

So I'm curious, are you having,"flashes of doubt" b/c you believe her? Or are you naturally seeking your sweet and loving Mom's approval. That if you can coerce her to agree with you, then you will have her approval in how you "raise you son." I still do and mine's dead for crying out loud!! How might your DS benefit from your trust in his ability to make decisions for himself? He doesn't need your approval to have his choices be good ones, right?

Regret is a funny thing. A waste of time IMHO. None of us could possibly figure out what our children will come to regret if they regret at all. My DC's may grow to say, "Mom, we wish you had MADE us stick with blah, blah, blah." Or it could easily be the other way around. SO, since I can't possibly know, I have to follow my own heart. ENter: RU. Trust the individual. Control No One.

BTW, you can tell your Mom she did a great job! Look how wonderful you are! And that your relationship with your DS is based on what most resonates with you and not her.

Peace,

Cary