gilliangoddard

Let's hope that I can write in a way that is deeply understood because I want to touch on a
topic that comes up again and again. This is about people, usually newer people, feeling
'attacked' on the unschooling lists. There are a couple of points that I would like to make
but ultimately my approach is that these lists are critical for many of us because we barely
have homeschoolers around us, far less unschoolers. And that we need to ensure that
these lists thrive and survive.

LEADERSHIP
One of the most effective ways for a community to thrive and survive is for it to have good
leadership. The responsibilities of a good leader are many, but include thinking in a broad
way about the group/project, but behaving in a detailed way to get things to happen.

And simultaneously there are also responsibilities of the participants in a group who are
not the
leaders,. But one of the biggest responsibilities is to support leadership to
keep the group thriving. And sometimes the way to support good leadership, especially in
an online group, is to assume that the intentions of the leader are good, their caring is
intact, but that the ability to show the caring in a way that the participant will understand
is not always there because of demands of time, facility with the written word, the need to
write things concisely (obviously not my problem - smile) and lots more.

I personally don't always like the way that answers are presented in the group. But that is
a minor inconvenience compared to the benefits of all the free, completely and utterly
free, support and information that these groups contain and that is, in large part, as a
result of the group leaders.

So I want to add my 2 cents to the pot and say that no matter what cringe I feel inside at
times from the abruptness of the more experienced participants, I do feel eternally
grateful for all the questioning and scrutiny that has been shed on the parenting
experience and the many improved ways that I am now able to live in consensuality with
my two angelic companions.
Gillian

hema a b

Hello Gillian,
Thank you for wording your thoughts so wonderfully. You seem to hit
the nail on the head. I just wrote about my feelings about this
group.... and it makes me feel that my writing facility leaves much to
be desired.

I do still feel there is room for a group that treats the newbies as
truly committed people who just loose their way and fumble around....
trying to find advice and support... as they struggle with their inner
conflicts as they watch their child eating chocolate and soda for
breakfast. But then like i said... i'd still stay on with this
group... i love the experienced sharing their
more-concrete-experience-based thoughts.

Some one said... creating new habits requires us to stay with
something consistently for 21 days... thats how long it takes the
brain to make new synapses. so then on you will probably have it down
to a habit... or at least your brain will remind you that its
something you should do. For e.g. i started my day with 2 glasses of
water for 21 days (this was about a year ago).... and sure enough
although its been so long... i'm still reminded to drink water every
morning as i make my coffee pot ready. not that i always listen to my
brain. so as i really want to create a habit of stop and think before
reacting (to messes or whatever)... then it takes consistent effort.
and its paying off for sure :-)

best, hema



--- In [email protected], "gilliangoddard"
<gilliangoddard@...> wrote:
>
> Let's hope that I can write in a way that is deeply understood
because I want to touch on a
> topic that comes up again and again. This is about people, usually
newer people, feeling
> 'attacked' on the unschooling lists. There are a couple of points
that I would like to make
> but ultimately my approach is that these lists are critical for many
of us because we barely
> have homeschoolers around us, far less unschoolers. And that we
need to ensure that
> these lists thrive and survive.
>
> LEADERSHIP
> One of the most effective ways for a community to thrive and survive
is for it to have good
> leadership. The responsibilities of a good leader are many, but
include thinking in a broad
> way about the group/project, but behaving in a detailed way to get
things to happen.
>
> And simultaneously there are also responsibilities of the
participants in a group who are
> not the
> leaders,. But one of the biggest responsibilities is to support
leadership to
> keep the group thriving. And sometimes the way to support good
leadership, especially in
> an online group, is to assume that the intentions of the leader are
good, their caring is
> intact, but that the ability to show the caring in a way that the
participant will understand
> is not always there because of demands of time, facility with the
written word, the need to
> write things concisely (obviously not my problem - smile) and lots
more.
>
> I personally don't always like the way that answers are presented in
the group. But that is
> a minor inconvenience compared to the benefits of all the free,
completely and utterly
> free, support and information that these groups contain and that is,
in large part, as a
> result of the group leaders.
>
> So I want to add my 2 cents to the pot and say that no matter what
cringe I feel inside at
> times from the abruptness of the more experienced participants, I do
feel eternally
> grateful for all the questioning and scrutiny that has been shed on
the parenting
> experience and the many improved ways that I am now able to live in
consensuality with
> my two angelic companions.
> Gillian
>

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: hema a b <hbonda@...>

I do still feel there is room for a group that treats the newbies as
truly committed people who just loose their way and fumble around....
trying to find advice and support... as they struggle with their inner
conflicts as they watch their child eating chocolate and soda for
breakfast. But then like i said... i'd still stay on with this
group... i love the experienced sharing their
more-concrete-experience-based thoughts.

-=-=-=-=-

Then *YOU* are the perfect person to start that group!

Go here: http://groups.yahoo.com/start

You can start that group today!

-=-=-=-=-

Some one said... creating new habits requires us to stay with
something consistently for 21 days... thats how long it takes the
brain to make new synapses. so then on you will probably have it down
to a habit... or at least your brain will remind you that its
something you should do. For e.g. i started my day with 2 glasses of
water for 21 days (this was about a year ago).... and sure enough
although its been so long... i'm still reminded to drink water every
morning as i make my coffee pot ready. not that i always listen to my
brain. so as i really want to create a habit of stop and think before
reacting (to messes or whatever)... then it takes consistent effort.
and its paying off for sure :-)

-=-=-=-=-

I've heard that too.

Oddly enough, 12 years of schooling doesn't form the "habit" of getting
up early every day.

But I don't want to live by "habit." I want to make conscious choices
every single moment.

Your water drinking isn't a "habit." It's a choice. A choice you make
every day.




~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org


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