Throwing this ball into the court...
Karen Swanay
I wonder what an RU perspective would bring to this situation. This
child is internationally adopted at age 3...been home 4 yrs. Abuse
and neglect before being adopted. She's one of 4 children.
<<Sarah is having a terrible time with food. Jane says Sarah stole
from the grocery store again also. i hate this.
i give her more food than she can possibly eat. last night at dinner
her plate was piled with food and she tried so hard to eat it but
couldn't. i kept telling her to just eat what she wanted but she
nearly puked.
this morning she had a big breakfast, 2 oranges for a snack and before
lunch she had taken food from the pantry and was hiding in her
sisters' room eating it.
i'm at my wit's end. i've told her that if she's hungry to let me
know and i will help her with a snack. i've also tried letting her be
in charge of food for the day so she can try spacing it out and eating
what she needs. she can't do it. she eats everything in less than an
hour and is sick.>>
Karen
child is internationally adopted at age 3...been home 4 yrs. Abuse
and neglect before being adopted. She's one of 4 children.
<<Sarah is having a terrible time with food. Jane says Sarah stole
from the grocery store again also. i hate this.
i give her more food than she can possibly eat. last night at dinner
her plate was piled with food and she tried so hard to eat it but
couldn't. i kept telling her to just eat what she wanted but she
nearly puked.
this morning she had a big breakfast, 2 oranges for a snack and before
lunch she had taken food from the pantry and was hiding in her
sisters' room eating it.
i'm at my wit's end. i've told her that if she's hungry to let me
know and i will help her with a snack. i've also tried letting her be
in charge of food for the day so she can try spacing it out and eating
what she needs. she can't do it. she eats everything in less than an
hour and is sick.>>
Karen
Ulrike Haupt
She is doing the best she can with what she knows.
I would suggest that the mother blesses every bit of food that comes into the house with LOVE.
Also make food and what anybody does with it a total non-issue (for all members in the house).
Understand that the food is only a symbol for an unexpressed need. Allow the child to 'steal moments of satisfying love'.
Blissings
Ulrike
from Namibia - somewhere in Africa
I would suggest that the mother blesses every bit of food that comes into the house with LOVE.
Also make food and what anybody does with it a total non-issue (for all members in the house).
Understand that the food is only a symbol for an unexpressed need. Allow the child to 'steal moments of satisfying love'.
Blissings
Ulrike
from Namibia - somewhere in Africa
----- Original Message -----
From: Karen Swanay
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, July 28, 2008 10:18 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Throwing this ball into the court...
I wonder what an RU perspective would bring to this situation. This
child is internationally adopted at age 3...been home 4 yrs. Abuse
and neglect before being adopted. She's one of 4 children.
<<Sarah is having a terrible time with food. Jane says Sarah stole
from the grocery store again also. i hate this.
i give her more food than she can possibly eat. last night at dinner
her plate was piled with food and she tried so hard to eat it but
couldn't. i kept telling her to just eat what she wanted but she
nearly puked.
this morning she had a big breakfast, 2 oranges for a snack and before
lunch she had taken food from the pantry and was hiding in her
sisters' room eating it.
i'm at my wit's end. i've told her that if she's hungry to let me
know and i will help her with a snack. i've also tried letting her be
in charge of food for the day so she can try spacing it out and eating
what she needs. she can't do it. she eats everything in less than an
hour and is sick.>>
Karen
__________ NOD32 3303 (20080728) Information __________
This message was checked by NOD32 antivirus system.
http://www.eset.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
camden
Our son (now 15) came to us as a foster child when he was 3. He had major
food issues. He would eat until he puked also. One night we had pancakes,
about 3" or so, and he ate 18 of them ! It took a little while to realize
what was going on but for him it was he felt he needed to eat until all the
food was gone. He also felt he had to keep up with everyone else as far as
2nd (or 3rd ) helpings. I wanted him to eat what he wanted but having him
sick was to terrible to watch. What we did is started him with smaller
portions on his plate and tried to distract him in between plates of food.
Once he felt safe enough and confident enough that there was always going to
be food available his issues went away. It did take awhile but eventually
he took control of his food , not letting the food control him.
In case your wondering- Mike is fit as can be and never did have a weight
problem. He still eats very heartily but has learned to let his body let him
know when to stop.
Best of luck,
Carol
food issues. He would eat until he puked also. One night we had pancakes,
about 3" or so, and he ate 18 of them ! It took a little while to realize
what was going on but for him it was he felt he needed to eat until all the
food was gone. He also felt he had to keep up with everyone else as far as
2nd (or 3rd ) helpings. I wanted him to eat what he wanted but having him
sick was to terrible to watch. What we did is started him with smaller
portions on his plate and tried to distract him in between plates of food.
Once he felt safe enough and confident enough that there was always going to
be food available his issues went away. It did take awhile but eventually
he took control of his food , not letting the food control him.
In case your wondering- Mike is fit as can be and never did have a weight
problem. He still eats very heartily but has learned to let his body let him
know when to stop.
Best of luck,
Carol
----- Original Message -----
From: "Karen Swanay" <luvbullbreeds@...>
To: <[email protected]>
Sent: Monday, July 28, 2008 4:18 PM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Throwing this ball into the court...
>I wonder what an RU perspective would bring to this situation. This
> child is internationally adopted at age 3...been home 4 yrs. Abuse
> and neglect before being adopted. She's one of 4 children.
>
>
> <<Sarah is having a terrible time with food. Jane says Sarah stole
> from the grocery store again also. i hate this.
>
> i give her more food than she can possibly eat. last night at dinner
> her plate was piled with food and she tried so hard to eat it but
> couldn't. i kept telling her to just eat what she wanted but she
> nearly puked.
>
> this morning she had a big breakfast, 2 oranges for a snack and before
> lunch she had taken food from the pantry and was hiding in her
> sisters' room eating it.
>
> i'm at my wit's end. i've told her that if she's hungry to let me
> know and i will help her with a snack. i've also tried letting her be
> in charge of food for the day so she can try spacing it out and eating
> what she needs. she can't do it. she eats everything in less than an
> hour and is sick.>>
Kelly
My two daughters (5 yrs and 2 yrs) have the opposite tendency - they both
eat very little. However, when my 5 yr old is going through a growth spurt,
she will eat almost non-stop. We've started a "listening to our tummy's"
game, so, if she wants more of something when she's already had a lot, we'll
pause and try and hear what is telling her to eat more, her mouth or her
tummy. She has gotten very good at determining when her tummy is full, or
satisfied. Of course, if she chooses to listen to her mouth, which just
wants more yummy tastes in it, she is free to explore that. Over time, she's
decided she feels good when she listens to her tummy, and she often feels
not so good when she listens to her mouth.
Your child's background is completely different, I understand. My thinking
is that, introducing the idea that she has this choice, that her body can
help her make these choices, and that by listening to her body she can
determine if she needs to eat more or not, you are helping her know that she
really does have a say in this in a safe and loving environment, and you're
helping her learn to connect with her body, and thereby giving her back
control in a healthy way. Just another idea to add to all the others:-)
Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
eat very little. However, when my 5 yr old is going through a growth spurt,
she will eat almost non-stop. We've started a "listening to our tummy's"
game, so, if she wants more of something when she's already had a lot, we'll
pause and try and hear what is telling her to eat more, her mouth or her
tummy. She has gotten very good at determining when her tummy is full, or
satisfied. Of course, if she chooses to listen to her mouth, which just
wants more yummy tastes in it, she is free to explore that. Over time, she's
decided she feels good when she listens to her tummy, and she often feels
not so good when she listens to her mouth.
Your child's background is completely different, I understand. My thinking
is that, introducing the idea that she has this choice, that her body can
help her make these choices, and that by listening to her body she can
determine if she needs to eat more or not, you are helping her know that she
really does have a say in this in a safe and loving environment, and you're
helping her learn to connect with her body, and thereby giving her back
control in a healthy way. Just another idea to add to all the others:-)
Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]