Jolene

I thought I posted this, but when I checked, I didn't find it.

My 3 1/2yo son is very talkative (he had 200 words by 15 months old).
I'm slightly more introverted than extraverted and do not talk much
at all. My son repeats himself until I respond, which usually means I
have to repeat what he says. He often wants me to make up what the
characters in his books and in his play say to him, to me or to
eachother. I can go along with this for a while, but then I feel like
my brain starts hurting and I just want quiet time away from him.

Other things about my son that have been hard for me: very demanding,
very energetic, doesn't sleep well, easily overwhelmed by his
feelings if things aren't going his way (will often end up vomiting).

I have heard other SAHMs say that the time they spend with their kids
is better when they have time away from them (the kids are in
daycare, with a nanny, in some sort of school program...). I wonder
if this would be true for me and if I could find a good program that
would nurture my son or is there a better way to deal with
my "problem" that is more in line with unschooling.

One answer I would come up with is to have him spend time with other
unschooling families while I go do my own thing, but now that we are
living in Switzerland, I have no other unschooling families around
me.

Thanks!
Jolene =)

cherapple

--- "Jolene" <joyauxjo@...> wrote:

> My 3 1/2yo son is very talkative ...
> I'm slightly more introverted than extraverted and do not talk much
> at all. ... I can go along with this for a while, but then I feel like
> my brain starts hurting and I just want quiet time away from him.

> ... I have no other unschooling families around
> me.
>
> Thanks!
> Jolene =)


Hi, Jolene. I know exactly how you feel, although my children are a
bit older than yours now (two girls, ages 9 and 12). I am not a big
talker and don't like talking a lot, although I certainly make the
effort to answer the girls questions and talk to them as much as
possible. I do need my quiet time every day, or I will get stressed
out, and that's when I know I'm in danger of "losing my cool."

Do you have a husband who will take your son for an hour or two at
night? Can you leave your son with a grandparent or other family
member now and then? Look for local homeschooling groups in your area,
even if they are not unschooling groups, and make friends with other
families who have children your son's age. I find that's one of my
greatest sources of down time -- trading "play dates" with friends,
and thereby giving the adults turns at down time.

I know TV can be a touchy issue, but will your son sit and watch a
show for 20 minutes? Does he like computer games? Are there any other
things that you might be able to find to entertain him for a few
minutes at a time so that you can get a small breather? Take that time
to close your eyes and listen to the silence, get refreshed, relax.
Hopefully when your son comes back to you, talking a mile a minute,
you'll feel re-energized and able to give him what he needs again.

My older daughter enjoys quiet and solitude, but my younger one wants
a constant source of entertainment. She doesn't like to be alone or to
do things alone. She will watch movies by herself, however, or play
games on the computer (because she has something outside herself to
interact with). I know 3 and a half may be young for that, but
anything that he might enjoy doing by himself would help you get some
down time. I know it's tough! Good luck.

Cheryl

Jolene

Thanks for the encouragement. I'm realizing more and more as I read
people's suggestions that this only became a problem for me during
pregnancy. I seem to have pretty short circuit's now and need a lot
more time to sleep, sit or lie down, not have pressures around me.
Nausea takes a lot of energy and ability to think as well.

Ds does play video games and watch movies, but he usually wants me to
participate -- I'm either playing the game with him or answering
questions/responding during movies. He hardly ever watches TV
anymore, because all of the kid's shows are in French, German or
Italian.

Weekends go really well for me, because my husband is usually home
and taking over playing with ds -- I think I need to nurture myself
better and/or get a babysitter during the week. I like the babysitter
idea, because we can take time to get to know one person so that he
feels comfortable with her and she can give him all of her attention.
For so many reasons (that he communicates to me in many ways), I
don't think I'll find any sort of school or class that he will feel
comfortable with.

So far, I know several other moms here, I guess I just need to ask if
they would be okay to take ds sometimes. That used to work out when
we lived in Seattle with a couple of my friends and their kids,
because we had already done several playdates at their homes and ds
knew them well enough.

Thanks for letting me get all these ideas on paper and for offering
suggestions.

Jolene =)

--- In [email protected], "cherapple"
<mosaicknits@...> wrote:
>
> --- "Jolene" <joyauxjo@> wrote:
>
> > My 3 1/2yo son is very talkative ...
> > I'm slightly more introverted than extraverted and do not talk
much
> > at all. ... I can go along with this for a while, but then I feel
like
> > my brain starts hurting and I just want quiet time away from him.
>
> > ... I have no other unschooling families around
> > me.
> >
> > Thanks!
> > Jolene =)
>
>
> Hi, Jolene. I know exactly how you feel, although my children are a
> bit older than yours now (two girls, ages 9 and 12). I am not a big
> talker and don't like talking a lot, although I certainly make the
> effort to answer the girls questions and talk to them as much as
> possible. I do need my quiet time every day, or I will get stressed
> out, and that's when I know I'm in danger of "losing my cool."
>
> Do you have a husband who will take your son for an hour or two at
> night? Can you leave your son with a grandparent or other family
> member now and then? Look for local homeschooling groups in your
area,
> even if they are not unschooling groups, and make friends with other
> families who have children your son's age. I find that's one of my
> greatest sources of down time -- trading "play dates" with friends,
> and thereby giving the adults turns at down time.
>
> I know TV can be a touchy issue, but will your son sit and watch a
> show for 20 minutes? Does he like computer games? Are there any
other
> things that you might be able to find to entertain him for a few
> minutes at a time so that you can get a small breather? Take that
time
> to close your eyes and listen to the silence, get refreshed, relax.
> Hopefully when your son comes back to you, talking a mile a minute,
> you'll feel re-energized and able to give him what he needs again.
>
> My older daughter enjoys quiet and solitude, but my younger one
wants
> a constant source of entertainment. She doesn't like to be alone or
to
> do things alone. She will watch movies by herself, however, or play
> games on the computer (because she has something outside herself to
> interact with). I know 3 and a half may be young for that, but
> anything that he might enjoy doing by himself would help you get
some
> down time. I know it's tough! Good luck.
>
> Cheryl
>