needing quiet time
Jolene
My 3 1/2yo son is very talkative (he had 200 words by 15 months old).
I'm slightly more introverted than extraverted and do not talk much at
all. My son repeats himself until I respond, which usually means I have
to repeat what he says. He often wants me to make up what the
characters in his books and in his play say to him, to me or to
eachother. I can go along with this for a while, but then I feel like
my brain starts hurting and I just want quiet time away from him.
Other things about my son that have been hard for me: very demanding,
very energetic, doesn't sleep well, easily overwhelmed by his feelings
if things aren't going his way (will often end up vomiting).
I have heard other SAHMs say that the time they spend with their kids
is better when they have time away from them (the kids are in daycare,
with a nanny, in some sort of school program...). I wonder if this
would be true for me and if I could find a good program that would
nurture my son or is there a better way to deal with my "problem" that
is more in line with unschooling.
One answer I would come up with is to have him spend time with other
unschooling families while I go do my own thing, but now that we are
living in Switzerland, I have no other unschooling families around me.
Thanks!
Jolene =)
I'm slightly more introverted than extraverted and do not talk much at
all. My son repeats himself until I respond, which usually means I have
to repeat what he says. He often wants me to make up what the
characters in his books and in his play say to him, to me or to
eachother. I can go along with this for a while, but then I feel like
my brain starts hurting and I just want quiet time away from him.
Other things about my son that have been hard for me: very demanding,
very energetic, doesn't sleep well, easily overwhelmed by his feelings
if things aren't going his way (will often end up vomiting).
I have heard other SAHMs say that the time they spend with their kids
is better when they have time away from them (the kids are in daycare,
with a nanny, in some sort of school program...). I wonder if this
would be true for me and if I could find a good program that would
nurture my son or is there a better way to deal with my "problem" that
is more in line with unschooling.
One answer I would come up with is to have him spend time with other
unschooling families while I go do my own thing, but now that we are
living in Switzerland, I have no other unschooling families around me.
Thanks!
Jolene =)
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: Jolene <joyauxjo@...>
I have heard other SAHMs say that the time they spend with their kids
is better when they have time away from them (the kids are in daycare,
with a nanny, in some sort of school program...). I wonder if this
would be true for me and if I could find a good program that would
nurture my son
-=-=-=-=-
Yeah...maybe. But what about the time he spends away from you? Are his
tiny little needs as important as yours?
He's THREE. Do you really think he has the skills to handle this great
big world without you? You're whining about being with him. Can you
imagine how he might feel without you?
*You* are overwhelmed with a three year old. Can you imagine how
overwhelming a three year old might find school? Or a stranger?
And you only have one.
And he gets older every single day.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
or is there a better way to deal with my "problem" that
is more in line with unschooling.
-=-=-=-=-=-
Yeah---try looking at the world from *his* limited view.
-=-=-=-=-=-
One answer I would come up with is to have him spend time with other
unschooling families while I go do my own thing, but now that we are
living in Switzerland, I have no other unschooling families around me.
-=-=-=-=-=-
There is a LARGE group in Europe---and Europe is a lot smaller than the
US! Look up unerzogen: http://de.groups.yahoo.com/group/unerzogen
It's in German, but I think you can get it translated online now. Plus,
you can get out and meet other families. Make a park day.
I can't help but mention the fact that he'll not be with you
forever---We get NO GUARANTEES! Make the most of this time you have
with him. Change your attitude. Change your paradigm. Start wanting to
be with him.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
From: Jolene <joyauxjo@...>
I have heard other SAHMs say that the time they spend with their kids
is better when they have time away from them (the kids are in daycare,
with a nanny, in some sort of school program...). I wonder if this
would be true for me and if I could find a good program that would
nurture my son
-=-=-=-=-
Yeah...maybe. But what about the time he spends away from you? Are his
tiny little needs as important as yours?
He's THREE. Do you really think he has the skills to handle this great
big world without you? You're whining about being with him. Can you
imagine how he might feel without you?
*You* are overwhelmed with a three year old. Can you imagine how
overwhelming a three year old might find school? Or a stranger?
And you only have one.
And he gets older every single day.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
or is there a better way to deal with my "problem" that
is more in line with unschooling.
-=-=-=-=-=-
Yeah---try looking at the world from *his* limited view.
-=-=-=-=-=-
One answer I would come up with is to have him spend time with other
unschooling families while I go do my own thing, but now that we are
living in Switzerland, I have no other unschooling families around me.
-=-=-=-=-=-
There is a LARGE group in Europe---and Europe is a lot smaller than the
US! Look up unerzogen: http://de.groups.yahoo.com/group/unerzogen
It's in German, but I think you can get it translated online now. Plus,
you can get out and meet other families. Make a park day.
I can't help but mention the fact that he'll not be with you
forever---We get NO GUARANTEES! Make the most of this time you have
with him. Change your attitude. Change your paradigm. Start wanting to
be with him.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: kbcdlovejo@...
Yeah...maybe. But what about the time he spends away from you? Are his
tiny little needs as important as yours?
He's THREE. Do you really think he has the skills to handle this great
big world without you? You're whining about being with him. Can you
imagine how he might feel without you?
*You* are overwhelmed with a three year old. Can you imagine how
overwhelming a three year old might find school? Or a stranger?
And you only have one.
And he gets older every single day.
I can't help but mention the fact that he'll not be with you
forever---We get NO GUARANTEES! Make the most of this time you have
with him. Change your attitude. Change your paradigm. Start wanting to
be with him.
-=-=-=-=-=-==-
Reading it back, it doesn't sound terribly sympathetic. <G>
I wasn't actually trying to be sympathetic---although I was once where
you are now. But I can't stress enough how it's ALL about your
perception.
Change the way you approach it. Enjoy the time you get.
I know it's sometimes hard, but the more you *choose* to enjoy your
son, the more you CAN enjoy your son.
You're choosing *now* to get perturbed. It's easy.
It's harder to actually take his needs into consideration and BE there
for him. Change the way you look at your relationship, and your
relationship will change.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
From: kbcdlovejo@...
Yeah...maybe. But what about the time he spends away from you? Are his
tiny little needs as important as yours?
He's THREE. Do you really think he has the skills to handle this great
big world without you? You're whining about being with him. Can you
imagine how he might feel without you?
*You* are overwhelmed with a three year old. Can you imagine how
overwhelming a three year old might find school? Or a stranger?
And you only have one.
And he gets older every single day.
I can't help but mention the fact that he'll not be with you
forever---We get NO GUARANTEES! Make the most of this time you have
with him. Change your attitude. Change your paradigm. Start wanting to
be with him.
-=-=-=-=-=-==-
Reading it back, it doesn't sound terribly sympathetic. <G>
I wasn't actually trying to be sympathetic---although I was once where
you are now. But I can't stress enough how it's ALL about your
perception.
Change the way you approach it. Enjoy the time you get.
I know it's sometimes hard, but the more you *choose* to enjoy your
son, the more you CAN enjoy your son.
You're choosing *now* to get perturbed. It's easy.
It's harder to actually take his needs into consideration and BE there
for him. Change the way you look at your relationship, and your
relationship will change.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
[email protected]
Faster than you can possibly imagine it right now, your son may be a teenager
travelling to far away places without you, spending most of his talking
energy on others, and you just may realize your house is far too quiet with him
away. Well, anyway, that's the way it worked out around HERE. :)
Since before he was born Patrick needed less sleep than most, and was super
active anytime he wasn't sleeping. Heck he was super active right up to the
INSTANT he fell asleep - flop flop twirl twirl flop snore. :) And oh he loves
talking to people! We figured out pretty early that he NEEDS to think out loud
and he NEEDS it to be with other people. At 3 he was OFTEN up past midnight
still talking to me, "I was thinking"
One thing that helped was getting an older sibling to take him for a run (no
sense calling it a walk). I would have rented an older sibling if we didn't
already have some available. <g>
But mostly, seriously, I recommend paying attention as much as you can, both
involving yourself in his play AND involving him in your work. 3 year olds, at
least all my 3 year olds, love to do what the big people do. They will
happily fold clothes, mop floors, wash dishes, whatever you've got. They won't do a
great job but they'll try and you can be happily engaged together in the
process.
Patrick is 16, and has been gone for 5 weeks now, in Philadelphia. My house
is too dang quiet! He did text me the first week saying he really misses having
someone to talk to late at night. I told him he could call but it's just not
the same as being able to walk up to me and say "I was just thinking..." :)
Deborah in IL
I don't remember growing older
When did they?
**************
Get fantasy football with free live scoring. Sign
up for FanHouse Fantasy Football today.
(http://www.fanhouse.com/fantasyaffair?ncid=aolspr00050000000020)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
travelling to far away places without you, spending most of his talking
energy on others, and you just may realize your house is far too quiet with him
away. Well, anyway, that's the way it worked out around HERE. :)
Since before he was born Patrick needed less sleep than most, and was super
active anytime he wasn't sleeping. Heck he was super active right up to the
INSTANT he fell asleep - flop flop twirl twirl flop snore. :) And oh he loves
talking to people! We figured out pretty early that he NEEDS to think out loud
and he NEEDS it to be with other people. At 3 he was OFTEN up past midnight
still talking to me, "I was thinking"
One thing that helped was getting an older sibling to take him for a run (no
sense calling it a walk). I would have rented an older sibling if we didn't
already have some available. <g>
But mostly, seriously, I recommend paying attention as much as you can, both
involving yourself in his play AND involving him in your work. 3 year olds, at
least all my 3 year olds, love to do what the big people do. They will
happily fold clothes, mop floors, wash dishes, whatever you've got. They won't do a
great job but they'll try and you can be happily engaged together in the
process.
Patrick is 16, and has been gone for 5 weeks now, in Philadelphia. My house
is too dang quiet! He did text me the first week saying he really misses having
someone to talk to late at night. I told him he could call but it's just not
the same as being able to walk up to me and say "I was just thinking..." :)
Deborah in IL
I don't remember growing older
When did they?
**************
Get fantasy football with free live scoring. Sign
up for FanHouse Fantasy Football today.
(http://www.fanhouse.com/fantasyaffair?ncid=aolspr00050000000020)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jodi Bezzola
Thanks for the reminder, Deborah, that my kids will be grown and gone before I know it. I'm SO glad this paradigm shift happened for me when my girls were only THREE!
Jodi
Jodi
--- On Sun, 7/27/08, DACunefare@... <DACunefare@...> wrote:
From: DACunefare@... <DACunefare@...>
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: needing quiet time
To: [email protected]
Date: Sunday, July 27, 2008, 9:20 PM
Faster than you can possibly imagine it right now, your son may be a teenager
travelling to far away places without you, spending most of his talking
energy on others, and you just may realize your house is far too quiet with him
away. Well, anyway, that's the way it worked out around HERE. :)
Since before he was born Patrick needed less sleep than most, and was super
active anytime he wasn't sleeping. Heck he was super active right up to the
INSTANT he fell asleep - flop flop twirl twirl flop snore. :) And oh he loves
talking to people! We figured out pretty early that he NEEDS to think out loud
and he NEEDS it to be with other people. At 3 he was OFTEN up past midnight
still talking to me, "I was thinking"
One thing that helped was getting an older sibling to take him for a run (no
sense calling it a walk). I would have rented an older sibling if we didn't
already have some available. <g>
But mostly, seriously, I recommend paying attention as much as you can, both
involving yourself in his play AND involving him in your work. 3 year olds, at
least all my 3 year olds, love to do what the big people do. They will
happily fold clothes, mop floors, wash dishes, whatever you've got. They won't do a
great job but they'll try and you can be happily engaged together in the
process.
Patrick is 16, and has been gone for 5 weeks now, in Philadelphia. My house
is too dang quiet! He did text me the first week saying he really misses having
someone to talk to late at night. I told him he could call but it's just not
the same as being able to walk up to me and say "I was just thinking..." :)
Deborah in IL
I don't remember growing older
When did they?
************ **
Get fantasy football with free live scoring. Sign
up for FanHouse Fantasy Football today.
(http://www.fanhouse .com/fantasyaffa ir?ncid=aolspr00 050000000020)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Schuyler
Or they may not grow up. That's a harsh thing to contemplate. But it can happen. And if it does you get now to choose what you want to remember about having been with them. You can't choose it in retrospect, you only get this moment.
Schuyler
www.waynforth.blogspot.com
Thanks for the reminder, Deborah, that my kids will be grown and gone before I know it. I'm SO glad this paradigm shift happened for me when my girls were only THREE!
.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Schuyler
www.waynforth.blogspot.com
Thanks for the reminder, Deborah, that my kids will be grown and gone before I know it. I'm SO glad this paradigm shift happened for me when my girls were only THREE!
.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]