Allowance amounts...was: more money questions
Ren Allen
We give our children half their age in years every week, only
because I felt safer doing that, not being sure I could keep up with
the full age every week. I'd be paying out $36 per week right now
with all of them, that adds up to $144 per month!! Ouch.
Their money has gone on hold several times when we were in a
financial crunch, but I also share any extra with them. If I'm
making more, they make more...we just share. There is the fact that
I'm gone more, and I feel they should share in the wealth by
supporting me working outside the home. :)
Oh, and good to see you here Michelle!! We'll convert you yet.
(wink, wink)
Ren
because I felt safer doing that, not being sure I could keep up with
the full age every week. I'd be paying out $36 per week right now
with all of them, that adds up to $144 per month!! Ouch.
Their money has gone on hold several times when we were in a
financial crunch, but I also share any extra with them. If I'm
making more, they make more...we just share. There is the fact that
I'm gone more, and I feel they should share in the wealth by
supporting me working outside the home. :)
Oh, and good to see you here Michelle!! We'll convert you yet.
(wink, wink)
Ren
Lanie Carlson-Lim
My boys are 8 and 12...I will see which idea they like better...bank of mom or kids credit union...they get their age every other Friday and their dad gives them "some" on the weekends they are with him...we just came off a hold...hubby just went back to work and we finally got a paycheck
we also got a small amount from my uncle who passed away in MAY...we are now deciding what to do with it...we may donate a bit, we want something the family can enjoy and will make us think of my uncle...thinking of getting a mini DV camera (my old video camera died) because then we can tape family activities or make movies and pass on family traditions.
I'm really enjoying the ideas on this thread
LAnie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
we also got a small amount from my uncle who passed away in MAY...we are now deciding what to do with it...we may donate a bit, we want something the family can enjoy and will make us think of my uncle...thinking of getting a mini DV camera (my old video camera died) because then we can tape family activities or make movies and pass on family traditions.
I'm really enjoying the ideas on this thread
LAnie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
they get their age every other Friday<<<<<<
Just curious and this is not directed at any one individual in particular,
but how do you decide on the amount? I have seen this several times on the
list about giving their age in money or 1/2 their age and was wondering why.
Is one more deserving of more because they have lived longer, do they
contribute more, do more?
We don't use allowances, the money is family money and we all decide how it
is used, all participate in figuring out what bills need to be paid, how much
to save for emergencies, vacations, spending etc.
Pam G
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Just curious and this is not directed at any one individual in particular,
but how do you decide on the amount? I have seen this several times on the
list about giving their age in money or 1/2 their age and was wondering why.
Is one more deserving of more because they have lived longer, do they
contribute more, do more?
We don't use allowances, the money is family money and we all decide how it
is used, all participate in figuring out what bills need to be paid, how much
to save for emergencies, vacations, spending etc.
Pam G
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jon and Rue Kream
>>We don't use allowances, the money is family money and we all decide howit
is used, all participate in figuring out what bills need to be paid, how
much
to save for emergencies, vacations, spending etc.
**This is what we do too, but Dagny and Rowan do like to have a scheduled
amount of cash coming to them. They determined how much they needed and how
often, and can change it at any time. ~Rue
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
> Just curious and this is not directed at any one individual in particular,From a practical standpoint my almost 12yo has a higher spending "goal" (shall we say) than my 6yo. Emily is wanting CD's and more control in her own clothes. Mary Elayne (9yo) hoards all her money (it's so funny!) and relishes in the fact that she has lot so fmoney to spend while on vacation (she will come back with more than half of it though - my very frugal child). Keon is happy if he has a little pocket money for a candy bar at the check out stand or a small box of Legos. He actually ends up spending most of his money on other people (buying gum for his sisters or getting his dad a car smelly thing). Also, my kids can earn extra money so if there is something that they really need they can do extra to earn the money for it. I'm not really sure where I came up with $x per age. It just sort of evolved somehow. The kids were asking for an allowance (presuming that they had friends who were getting allowance) and in giving it to them it has cut back on how much they are asking for. They are learning how money works.
> but how do you decide on the amount? I have seen this several times on the
> list about giving their age in money or 1/2 their age and was wondering why.
> Is one more deserving of more because they have lived longer, do they
> contribute more, do more?
Keon, for instance, really wanted this Power Rangers Dino Thunder bracelet thingy (supposedly transforms you into a dinosaur?) It cost $10. I told him if he really wanted it he could save up for it and buy it. So he did. He proudly bought it, brought it home and then was disappointed that he didn't turn into a Power Ranger. And that he had spent $10 to not turn into a Power Ranger. Of course I spoke to him before he bought it about how it was just a toy and that turning into Power Rangers was part of fiction and pretend and he said he understood it. I think he just wanted to believe so badly that it would work like it was advertised on television. This little experience taught him a lot about money. He had to save for 2 weeks to get it. It didn't do like the commercial said (although in very tiny print that most 6yo won't or can't read it does say that product will not transform people into giant lizards and is just a toy.) And he now wishes he had saved that $10 so he would have had $10 more to buy Legos at the Lego Superstore at Disney World next month.
Michelle
Michelle
Lanie Carlson-Lim
for me it is a way for them to have their own money to spend or save or use as they wish...it is not tied to chores in the sense that you have to do x to get $...but the twelve year old can and does help out with a few more things that he is old enough to do...watching/playing with his sister so I can do??? for a small amount of time...if it's more of a babysitting situation then he is paid extra ...he was gonna learn to mow, but our mower has been funny lately so that went by the wayside...
I used to have regular chores that they did daily as part of family, but it got difficult because sometimes they were with their dad and then things wouldn't get done, so now I make a general list of things that need to be done and if I need help I ask...this has been hard for me...I used to just do it and then get resentful because no one was helping and when it was assigned i was nagging for it to get done...so i had to learn to just do it and if it gets to be too much ask for help or let it go...they are usually more then willing to help and it goes much smoother because i'm much more pleasant to be around :)
Lanie
I used to have regular chores that they did daily as part of family, but it got difficult because sometimes they were with their dad and then things wouldn't get done, so now I make a general list of things that need to be done and if I need help I ask...this has been hard for me...I used to just do it and then get resentful because no one was helping and when it was assigned i was nagging for it to get done...so i had to learn to just do it and if it gets to be too much ask for help or let it go...they are usually more then willing to help and it goes much smoother because i'm much more pleasant to be around :)
Lanie
----- Original Message -----
From: Genant2@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, October 10, 2004 7:23 PM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Allowance amounts...was: more money questions
they get their age every other Friday<<<<<<
Just curious and this is not directed at any one individual in particular,
but how do you decide on the amount? I have seen this several times on the
list about giving their age in money or 1/2 their age and was wondering why.
Is one more deserving of more because they have lived longer, do they
contribute more, do more?
We don't use allowances, the money is family money and we all decide how it
is used, all participate in figuring out what bills need to be paid, how much
to save for emergencies, vacations, spending etc.
Pam G
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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pam sorooshian
On Oct 10, 2004, at 4:23 PM, Genant2@... wrote:
the kids that thought that as they got older the things they wanted got
more expensive (3 kids, 3 years apart) and so that they should get an
increase in spending money as they got older. Their age is convenient -
I think they thought it was just a rather clever way to come up with an
amount. They got their age on the first of each month. But we dropped
that as they hit the teen years and we talked again about money. It
works out really well for them to get more money and be responsible for
more of their own purchases. This takes ME out of the situation when
they want to buy clothes, especially. Otherwise, if they were wanting
to buy some badly-made faddish outfit, I'd always be wanting to talk
them out of it, and we'd have conflict. Now that it is clearly their
own personal money, I just tell them how nice they look - the money
spending aspect of it is none of my business unless they ask for my
advice (which they often do, and I can give it and they can take it or
leave it). They learn very fast how much more value they can get at
thrift stores and how sad it is to buy brand new but badly-made
clothing that doesn't last through a laundering. The way we figured out
how much money to give them as their own personal spending money, as
they got older, was to list what they'd be responsible for - clothing,
gifts for friends, accessories, postage, movies, cd's, books, hair dye,
etc. and then took a look at how much we spent on those kinds of things
(we'd been keeping track for quite a while, in fact). Together we
decided what would cover the same level of spending, but we'd hand the
kid the money and she could make all the decisions. It has worked
extremely well and just sort of phased over into my oldest having a job
and she just stopped wanting our money anymore.
Also - it made it nice that we could buy them gifts - if I bought one
of them a cd or a book or a pair of underwear <G> it was appreciated.
And I do that fairly often. They buy ME things too, on a regular basis
they say, "I'll pay for that, mom."
badly made pair of $65 pants that my 14 year old thought were just
AWESOME that was difficult. I would want so badly to NOT spend that
money on those pants, but she'd really like them and want to buy them.
Giving her total control over her own money meant that I could stand
there and say, "Yeah, they'd look great on you, but did you notice that
the fabric is pretty flimsy?" and SHE could decide if they were worth
her money or not. Not my decision and no conflict or disagreement
between us no matter what she decided. I don't keep track of how much
money they have or how they spend it.
-pam
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.
> Just curious and this is not directed at any one individual inWe all decided on how much spending money the kids would get. It was
> particular,
> but how do you decide on the amount? I have seen this several times
> on the
> list about giving their age in money or 1/2 their age and was
> wondering why.
> Is one more deserving of more because they have lived longer, do they
> contribute more, do more?
the kids that thought that as they got older the things they wanted got
more expensive (3 kids, 3 years apart) and so that they should get an
increase in spending money as they got older. Their age is convenient -
I think they thought it was just a rather clever way to come up with an
amount. They got their age on the first of each month. But we dropped
that as they hit the teen years and we talked again about money. It
works out really well for them to get more money and be responsible for
more of their own purchases. This takes ME out of the situation when
they want to buy clothes, especially. Otherwise, if they were wanting
to buy some badly-made faddish outfit, I'd always be wanting to talk
them out of it, and we'd have conflict. Now that it is clearly their
own personal money, I just tell them how nice they look - the money
spending aspect of it is none of my business unless they ask for my
advice (which they often do, and I can give it and they can take it or
leave it). They learn very fast how much more value they can get at
thrift stores and how sad it is to buy brand new but badly-made
clothing that doesn't last through a laundering. The way we figured out
how much money to give them as their own personal spending money, as
they got older, was to list what they'd be responsible for - clothing,
gifts for friends, accessories, postage, movies, cd's, books, hair dye,
etc. and then took a look at how much we spent on those kinds of things
(we'd been keeping track for quite a while, in fact). Together we
decided what would cover the same level of spending, but we'd hand the
kid the money and she could make all the decisions. It has worked
extremely well and just sort of phased over into my oldest having a job
and she just stopped wanting our money anymore.
Also - it made it nice that we could buy them gifts - if I bought one
of them a cd or a book or a pair of underwear <G> it was appreciated.
And I do that fairly often. They buy ME things too, on a regular basis
they say, "I'll pay for that, mom."
>It was the day-to-day decisions - standing in a store, looking at a
> We don't use allowances, the money is family money and we all decide
> how it
> is used, all participate in figuring out what bills need to be paid,
> how much
> to save for emergencies, vacations, spending etc.
badly made pair of $65 pants that my 14 year old thought were just
AWESOME that was difficult. I would want so badly to NOT spend that
money on those pants, but she'd really like them and want to buy them.
Giving her total control over her own money meant that I could stand
there and say, "Yeah, they'd look great on you, but did you notice that
the fabric is pretty flimsy?" and SHE could decide if they were worth
her money or not. Not my decision and no conflict or disagreement
between us no matter what she decided. I don't keep track of how much
money they have or how they spend it.
-pam
National Home Education Network
<www.NHEN.org>
Serving the entire homeschooling community since 1999
through information, networking and public relations.
[email protected]
for me it is a way for them to have their own money to spend or save or use
as they wish...it is not tied to chores in the sense that you have to do x to
get $...<<<<
I understand the allowance part. What my questions was directed at was the
amount. I have seen several times on this list and on many lists where
parents give the child's age in $$ or 1/2 the child's age in $$ and don't
understand why an 8 year old gets more than a 6 or 7 year old. Is it because they
are older? Help out more? Do more for the extra money?
To me I would think that would be divisive in a family. And if the money is
just so that they will have their own money to spend, why not the same
amount if it isn't tied to chores. And is there a real difference in the
abilities or a 12 and 13 year old? It just looks to me like the older child gets
more, simply because he was born first. Just wondering why those of you that do
the age for $$ thing chose that way of deciding how much the children get as
opposed to like Rue (I think it was Rue) who said that her child decides the
amount they need. Or why all children don't get the same amount, even if
they choose to save it instead of spend it?
Pam G
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
as they wish...it is not tied to chores in the sense that you have to do x to
get $...<<<<
I understand the allowance part. What my questions was directed at was the
amount. I have seen several times on this list and on many lists where
parents give the child's age in $$ or 1/2 the child's age in $$ and don't
understand why an 8 year old gets more than a 6 or 7 year old. Is it because they
are older? Help out more? Do more for the extra money?
To me I would think that would be divisive in a family. And if the money is
just so that they will have their own money to spend, why not the same
amount if it isn't tied to chores. And is there a real difference in the
abilities or a 12 and 13 year old? It just looks to me like the older child gets
more, simply because he was born first. Just wondering why those of you that do
the age for $$ thing chose that way of deciding how much the children get as
opposed to like Rue (I think it was Rue) who said that her child decides the
amount they need. Or why all children don't get the same amount, even if
they choose to save it instead of spend it?
Pam G
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
catherine aceto
QUOTE: I have seen several times on this list and on many lists where
parents give the child's age in $$ or 1/2 the child's age in $$ and don't
understand why an 8 year old gets more than a 6 or 7 year old.
ME: Oh - that's something I hadn't thought about. I have only one child (6) getting an allowance (her brother is not yet two), so it has not been an issue. For us, the $5/week decision came first based on the sort of toys she might want to buy and how much our budget allocated for toy purchases. It was coincidental that it matched her age at the time. Raising it by a dollar each year was something she asked for when she turned 6 and it seemed to me to be a convenient way of giving her a cost-of-living increase.
If I had two very similar aged children both getting allowances (say 6 and 9), I would definitely come up with a different way to calculate the allowance for the reasons that you mention.
When Lydia is old enough to want to buy expensive clothes, I will go to the same system that Pam describes of turning over more of the budget to her. Right now she chooses her clothes, but they cost so little that it doesn't matter if she chooses trendy things that fall apart - we can just buy new ones - and they dont' fit her for more than 6 months anyway.
-Cat
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
parents give the child's age in $$ or 1/2 the child's age in $$ and don't
understand why an 8 year old gets more than a 6 or 7 year old.
ME: Oh - that's something I hadn't thought about. I have only one child (6) getting an allowance (her brother is not yet two), so it has not been an issue. For us, the $5/week decision came first based on the sort of toys she might want to buy and how much our budget allocated for toy purchases. It was coincidental that it matched her age at the time. Raising it by a dollar each year was something she asked for when she turned 6 and it seemed to me to be a convenient way of giving her a cost-of-living increase.
If I had two very similar aged children both getting allowances (say 6 and 9), I would definitely come up with a different way to calculate the allowance for the reasons that you mention.
When Lydia is old enough to want to buy expensive clothes, I will go to the same system that Pam describes of turning over more of the budget to her. Right now she chooses her clothes, but they cost so little that it doesn't matter if she chooses trendy things that fall apart - we can just buy new ones - and they dont' fit her for more than 6 months anyway.
-Cat
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
pam sorooshian
On Oct 12, 2004, at 4:54 AM, Genant2@... wrote:
youngest kids get the most and my middle kid gets significantly less.
How much they get (now that they are in their teens) is directly
related to how much they want to spend and Roxana simply hasn't got as
much interest in spending money on clothes and gifts for friends and so
on. She knows we spend more on her activities - her theater, dance,
voice, and books for her community college courses and I think that's
why she decided to take a smaller draw from the family funds, probably.
Like I said before, we simply listed all the things they'd be
responsible for, gave them approximately the amount of money we were
already spending on those things, and then they were in charge of their
own spending on those things. The point was to not have ME in the
middle trying to evaluate whether they were making sensible purchases
or not and for them to have some sense of how much they were spending.
For example, Roya would spend all day every day buying presents for her
friends - they are all over the country and she loves to send them
collaged boxes with all kinds of cute little goodies inside them. She
could spend pretty much any amount of money on that - and it adds up to
a lot, but each item is just a little. So it was hard for me to say, "I
think that we're spending too much," when each time she wanted to
spend, it wasn't very much. Made more sense for us to give her a fixed
amount of money and let HER decide how much of it she wants to use for
that purpose.
I'm an easy banker, too. They can borrow from next month's money any
time. And they do, sometimes. But they keep track of it and then the
next month they'll say, "Only give me $30, because I already spent $20
of this month's money."
I can't tell you how nice it is to stay OUT of a teenager's decisions
about how she is spending money. I found that impossible when they had
to ask me to give them money (say for clothes) whenever they needed it.
But I find it calm and easy now - actually very interesting to see how
they handle it, each in her own way.
-pam
Want MORE unschooling discussion?
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> It just looks to me like the older child getsI should add to what I wrote before, that, by the way, my oldest and
> more, simply because he was born first. Just wondering why those of
> you that do
> the age for $$ thing chose that way of deciding how much the children
> get as
> opposed to like Rue (I think it was Rue) who said that her child
> decides the
> amount they need.
youngest kids get the most and my middle kid gets significantly less.
How much they get (now that they are in their teens) is directly
related to how much they want to spend and Roxana simply hasn't got as
much interest in spending money on clothes and gifts for friends and so
on. She knows we spend more on her activities - her theater, dance,
voice, and books for her community college courses and I think that's
why she decided to take a smaller draw from the family funds, probably.
Like I said before, we simply listed all the things they'd be
responsible for, gave them approximately the amount of money we were
already spending on those things, and then they were in charge of their
own spending on those things. The point was to not have ME in the
middle trying to evaluate whether they were making sensible purchases
or not and for them to have some sense of how much they were spending.
For example, Roya would spend all day every day buying presents for her
friends - they are all over the country and she loves to send them
collaged boxes with all kinds of cute little goodies inside them. She
could spend pretty much any amount of money on that - and it adds up to
a lot, but each item is just a little. So it was hard for me to say, "I
think that we're spending too much," when each time she wanted to
spend, it wasn't very much. Made more sense for us to give her a fixed
amount of money and let HER decide how much of it she wants to use for
that purpose.
I'm an easy banker, too. They can borrow from next month's money any
time. And they do, sometimes. But they keep track of it and then the
next month they'll say, "Only give me $30, because I already spent $20
of this month's money."
I can't tell you how nice it is to stay OUT of a teenager's decisions
about how she is spending money. I found that impossible when they had
to ask me to give them money (say for clothes) whenever they needed it.
But I find it calm and easy now - actually very interesting to see how
they handle it, each in her own way.
-pam
Want MORE unschooling discussion?
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Life is Learning; Learning is Life
Angela S
I've always given the same amount since I started giving allowances for that
very reason. It just didn't seem fair since it wasn't tied to chores done.
Angela ~ Maine
* game-enthusiast@....
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
very reason. It just didn't seem fair since it wasn't tied to chores done.
Angela ~ Maine
* game-enthusiast@....
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lanie Carlson-Lim
And if the money is
just so that they will have their own money to spend, why not the same
amount if it isn't tied to chores.
I do think that is a good point and at one point I was giving them the same amount...I am seriously going to rethink things...sit down with family and talk about family spending/individual spending and how they want to handle it...it makes sense to me for them to have control over what they spend and yes, it is hard when the 12 yo has a few more dollars then the 8 yo and they want the same things ( I will usually give him the few dollars extra)...so I think this discussion has been great! For me anyway, it has given me some even newer ways to think about things :)
Lanie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
just so that they will have their own money to spend, why not the same
amount if it isn't tied to chores.
I do think that is a good point and at one point I was giving them the same amount...I am seriously going to rethink things...sit down with family and talk about family spending/individual spending and how they want to handle it...it makes sense to me for them to have control over what they spend and yes, it is hard when the 12 yo has a few more dollars then the 8 yo and they want the same things ( I will usually give him the few dollars extra)...so I think this discussion has been great! For me anyway, it has given me some even newer ways to think about things :)
Lanie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]