Natalie

Hi my name is Natalie we live in Durham, NC. Trinity just turned 5
and BellaSky will be 2 in Sept. and we have one on the way due
sometime in Jan. I have been lurking for a month now. This group
feels very loving and supportive.
We learned abour RU before we moved here back in NJ from some RU
friends, and I was so interested and wanted to learn more. Trinity
was 3 at the time. They told us about the L&L conference and signed
up right away. I didn't know how to start it, implement, live it, do
it, be it. When we went to the conference, I felt like I found my
tribe which was a huge tribe.lol But then how do we tak that home. It
has been a wonderful jounrey since, so many gifts, so much healing,
so much joy. There are struggles but so much treasure we find when we
come out of it. Now I feel like I am more radical then my partner, so
I am on the journey of an unschooling relationship which is very
hard. He gets it, supports it, even be's it most of the time, but
when he is triggered so am I. We have a great relationship and are
commited to our journey seperatley, together and family.
Sorry this is getting long.
My question, Trinity has two friends who are sisters and go to school
and they live two houses away and she loves playing with them, but
they can be really mean sometimes and say things that Trinity
wouldn't be expose to. The one child lies alot and now Trinity is
starting to lie to me which she has never doen, and I don't know what
to do. She says when I ask, well Lea does it. I tell her how it makes
me feel and she doesn't want to. But I can't tell her she can't hang
out with them I think that should be her decision. But we are going
ot be here a while and so are they and they will only get older and
more things Trinity will be expose to that she wouldn't normally be.
I don't know how to handle this. I want to stay connected to Trinity
and I am scared our relationship will changed the more she hangs with
them.

Thank you for listening.
Be Well.
Natalie

Visit our family blog:
http://twodancingpepitas.blogspot.com/

k

I don't know if this will help you with your situation or not. It's helping
me with a similar situation that happened with a family we've known a long
time (years). I'm now reading Raising Our Children Raising Ourselves and
coincidentally I watched a youtube of the author Naomi Aldort speaking on a
topic... "The Child is Right" which was pretty eye opening for me about some
points of resistance I didn't see in myself. Here's the link to that:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=H75gbkLvIRA and if you're interested the book is
probably on amazon.com and/or some other online bookstores.

~Katherine




On 7/17/08, Natalie <mothers_dance@...> wrote:
>
> Hi my name is Natalie we live in Durham, NC. Trinity just turned 5
> and BellaSky will be 2 in Sept. and we have one on the way due
> sometime in Jan. I have been lurking for a month now. This group
> feels very loving and supportive.
> We learned abour RU before we moved here back in NJ from some RU
> friends, and I was so interested and wanted to learn more. Trinity
> was 3 at the time. They told us about the L&L conference and signed
> up right away. I didn't know how to start it, implement, live it, do
> it, be it. When we went to the conference, I felt like I found my
> tribe which was a huge tribe.lol But then how do we tak that home. It
> has been a wonderful jounrey since, so many gifts, so much healing,
> so much joy. There are struggles but so much treasure we find when we
> come out of it. Now I feel like I am more radical then my partner, so
> I am on the journey of an unschooling relationship which is very
> hard. He gets it, supports it, even be's it most of the time, but
> when he is triggered so am I. We have a great relationship and are
> commited to our journey seperatley, together and family.
> Sorry this is getting long.
> My question, Trinity has two friends who are sisters and go to school
> and they live two houses away and she loves playing with them, but
> they can be really mean sometimes and say things that Trinity
> wouldn't be expose to. The one child lies alot and now Trinity is
> starting to lie to me which she has never doen, and I don't know what
> to do. She says when I ask, well Lea does it. I tell her how it makes
> me feel and she doesn't want to. But I can't tell her she can't hang
> out with them I think that should be her decision. But we are going
> ot be here a while and so are they and they will only get older and
> more things Trinity will be expose to that she wouldn't normally be.
> I don't know how to handle this. I want to stay connected to Trinity
> and I am scared our relationship will changed the more she hangs with
> them.
>
> Thank you for listening.
> Be Well.
> Natalie
>
> Visit our family blog:
> http://twodancingpepitas.blogspot.com/
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Kimberlee

I had a similar reaction to my first unschooling conference. I am
almost finished reading "Hold onto your kids" by Gordon Neufeld, and I
consider it a "must read" for all parents or caregivers of children of
all ages. The book is all about the idea that parenting is a
relationship between parent and child. He focuses on on the importance
of nurturing the parent-child bond, and how that bond can be
threatened by peers (because friends can't be expected to love
unconditionally, and attachments to them can replace the primary
parent-child attachment IF the primary attachment is insufficiently
strong). He uses a number of examples including attachment issues he
had with his own children. I found so much of what he says really
resonated with me regarding my own childhood as well as my children. I
mentioned Gordon Neufeld to a non-RU friend who is a family and
marriage therapist. She recommended a couple of other authors that I
have yet to rea; I am planning to borrow their books through my local
public library. In case you are interested these authors are Daniel
Hughes and Dan Seigel. The latter has a book called "Parenting from
the inside out". Hughes apparently includes tips to nurture the parent-
child attachment. My friend says she recommends the Seigel book to
clients. I was introduced to Neufeld on another unschooling forum by
someone to whom I shall be eternally grateful.

Regards,

Kimberlee

Hi my name is Natalie we live in Durham, NC. Trinity just turned 5
> and BellaSky will be 2 in Sept. and we have one on the way due
> sometime in Jan. I have been lurking for a month now. This group
> feels very loving and supportive.
> We learned abour RU before we moved here back in NJ from some RU
> friends, and I was so interested and wanted to learn more. Trinity
> was 3 at the time. They told us about the L&L conference and signed
> up right away. I didn't know how to start it, implement, live it, do
> it, be it. When we went to the conference, I felt like I found my
> tribe which was a huge tribe.lol But then how do we tak that home. It
> has been a wonderful jounrey since, so many gifts, so much healing,
> so much joy. There are struggles but so much treasure we find when we
> come out of it. Now I feel like I am more radical then my partner, so
> I am on the journey of an unschooling relationship which is very
> hard. He gets it, supports it, even be's it most of the time, but
> when he is triggered so am I. We have a great relationship and are
> commited to our journey seperatley, together and family.
> Sorry this is getting long.
> My question, Trinity has two friends who are sisters and go to school
> and they live two houses away and she loves playing with them, but
> they can be really mean sometimes and say things that Trinity
> wouldn't be expose to. The one child lies alot and now Trinity is
> starting to lie to me which she has never doen, and I don't know what
> to do. She says when I ask, well Lea does it. I tell her how it makes
> me feel and she doesn't want to. But I can't tell her she can't hang
> out with them I think that should be her decision. But we are going
> ot be here a while and so are they and they will only get older and
> more things Trinity will be expose to that she wouldn't normally be.
> I don't know how to handle this. I want to stay connected to Trinity
> and I am scared our relationship will changed the more she hangs with
> them.
>
> Thank you for listening.
> Be Well.
> Natalie
>
> Visit our family blog:
> http://twodancingpepitas.blogspot.com/
>
>
>



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]