> How do you go about telling a child that it is OK to think about their personal wants as not being selfish, self-centered or such.? And let the child to gradually see that their wants are important too!
> Colleen in GA
> PS maybe Kelly was raised as an only child !!
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You know, this has been an issue at our house. I don't know if our son is just naturally frugal, or doesn't think he's worth it. Because I suspect it's a low self-worth, I've wanted to help him understand that listening to your heart is going to involve wanting things. When I've seen him staring at something that I really think he would use and enjoy, I've offered to buy it or order it. (Or take him some place I really think he'd like to go check out.) I feel like I'm having to talk him into it, not just try to figure out if it's really something that he's really interested in. Sometimes I've pointed out that I just bought myself or his sister xyz, so he doesnt' think he's getting more than the rest of us. Actually, I think what is working best around here is to just put the money in his control--allowance, budget, whatever you want to call it. I try to make sure that both the kids have enough money to afford the stuff they want without having to ask me. But of course, that's not going to work if you are talking about a horse! I doubt my son could afford a classic car no matter how he saved his little bit of allowance. Deirdre