I feel something is wrong here
Nance Confer
DH needs to grow up. Teasing a child to the point of tears, repeatedly, is not acceptable behavior. Keep talking to him.
Nance
i feel somethings wrong here...
Posted by: "black eagle" kidsdomain@... kidsdomain
Wed Jun 4, 2008 5:16 am (PDT)
Dear all,
Last evening my DH brought home a night lamp and it was wrapped up in
a newspaper. he came home and tried to lure DS abt the suprised in the
packet. DS ran behind him and DH kept running away...to an extent that
he cried. DH kept laughing....finally giving in to the tantrum...he
showed the lamp and a the tantrum subsided. This is a very recurring
play pattern than my DH take up. AND I AM JUST NOT OKAY WITH IT! I am
also not able to reason it out to him...pls help, maybe one of u could
be able to express better than me as to how this tease-play pattern is
not healthy.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Nance
i feel somethings wrong here...
Posted by: "black eagle" kidsdomain@... kidsdomain
Wed Jun 4, 2008 5:16 am (PDT)
Dear all,
Last evening my DH brought home a night lamp and it was wrapped up in
a newspaper. he came home and tried to lure DS abt the suprised in the
packet. DS ran behind him and DH kept running away...to an extent that
he cried. DH kept laughing....finally giving in to the tantrum...he
showed the lamp and a the tantrum subsided. This is a very recurring
play pattern than my DH take up. AND I AM JUST NOT OKAY WITH IT! I am
also not able to reason it out to him...pls help, maybe one of u could
be able to express better than me as to how this tease-play pattern is
not healthy.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
rebecca de
Not only is that kind of cruel!! Are we not half the time trying to steer our children away from throwing tantrums?? It's got to be confusing for him.
--- On Wed, 6/4/08, Nance Confer <marbleface@...> wrote:
From: Nance Confer <marbleface@...>
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] I feel something is wrong here
To: [email protected]
Date: Wednesday, June 4, 2008, 9:36 AM
DH needs to grow up. Teasing a child to the point of tears, repeatedly, is not acceptable behavior. Keep talking to him.
Nance
i feel somethings wrong here...
Posted by: "black eagle" kidsdomain@yahoo. com kidsdomain
Wed Jun 4, 2008 5:16 am (PDT)
Dear all,
Last evening my DH brought home a night lamp and it was wrapped up in
a newspaper. he came home and tried to lure DS abt the suprised in the
packet. DS ran behind him and DH kept running away...to an extent that
he cried. DH kept laughing.... finally giving in to the tantrum...he
showed the lamp and a the tantrum subsided. This is a very recurring
play pattern than my DH take up. AND I AM JUST NOT OKAY WITH IT! I am
also not able to reason it out to him...pls help, maybe one of u could
be able to express better than me as to how this tease-play pattern is
not healthy.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ryan
--- In [email protected], rebecca de
<rebeccadehate@...> wrote:
confusing for him.
My family (dad in particular) also think that teasing children until
they cry is fun. I had to put a stop to that fast! It's easier to
do with my family because I can simply say cut it out or we won't
come visit anymore! With a husband, not so easy.
I would try to explain to him that his behavior is harming his
relationship with his son, and that even if he can't see it now,
there will likely be implications down the road. What seems like
innocent fun to him is not fun at all for your son. Your son needs
to see his father as someone he can depend on, as someone he can
count on to help him meet his needs and to take care of him. He
needs to be able to TRUST his father. This kind of thing undermines
that feeling of trust and sets up a situation where, from the child's
point of view, the father, his father, is simply not trustworthy, not
dependable, and who can't be counted on. I think this kind of thing
makes deep changes to the level of security the child feels with the
father and can possibly cause the child to withdraw emotionally from
his father. That's not cool. What must your son be
thinking/feeling - daddy will give me something nice but not until I
cry! How awful and how confusing emotionally for him.
Go out and buy your dh a present. Something nice. Tell him you
bought it. Hide it in the house. Don't let him know where it is.
Tease him about it constantly, day after day. Boy, I'll bet you'll
really love what I got you! I'll bet you wish you could have it.
And don't give it to him until he cries! That should teach him.
<rebeccadehate@...> wrote:
>steer our children away from throwing tantrums?? It's got to be
> Not only is that kind of cruel!! Are we not half the time trying to
confusing for him.
My family (dad in particular) also think that teasing children until
they cry is fun. I had to put a stop to that fast! It's easier to
do with my family because I can simply say cut it out or we won't
come visit anymore! With a husband, not so easy.
I would try to explain to him that his behavior is harming his
relationship with his son, and that even if he can't see it now,
there will likely be implications down the road. What seems like
innocent fun to him is not fun at all for your son. Your son needs
to see his father as someone he can depend on, as someone he can
count on to help him meet his needs and to take care of him. He
needs to be able to TRUST his father. This kind of thing undermines
that feeling of trust and sets up a situation where, from the child's
point of view, the father, his father, is simply not trustworthy, not
dependable, and who can't be counted on. I think this kind of thing
makes deep changes to the level of security the child feels with the
father and can possibly cause the child to withdraw emotionally from
his father. That's not cool. What must your son be
thinking/feeling - daddy will give me something nice but not until I
cry! How awful and how confusing emotionally for him.
Go out and buy your dh a present. Something nice. Tell him you
bought it. Hide it in the house. Don't let him know where it is.
Tease him about it constantly, day after day. Boy, I'll bet you'll
really love what I got you! I'll bet you wish you could have it.
And don't give it to him until he cries! That should teach him.
Pamela Sorooshian
On Jun 4, 2008, at 6:36 AM, Nance Confer wrote:
directly about it. See if he'll stop responding.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> This is a very recurringMissed the original of this post - but, how about talking to the child
> play pattern than my DH take up. AND I AM JUST NOT OKAY WITH IT! I am
> also not able to reason it out to him...pls help, maybe one of u could
> be able to express better than me as to how this tease-play pattern is
> not healthy.
directly about it. See if he'll stop responding.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]