unschooling with autism, adhd, dysgraphia
morrisfamilyfive
Hi all. I am a new unschooler. I attempted to homeschool our 10 1/2
and 5 1/2 year old for the last two years with high levels of
stress. Our 10 1/2 year old has PDD-NOS, ADHD, sensory issues (chews
his t-shirt collar, withold's stool and soils). Anyway, he probably
is developmentally age 7. Very bright, remembers so much from his
early years. Wants to do and learn on his own terms.
Our 5 1/2 year old what has high functioning autism, ADHD, and
dysgraphia. He went to preschool one year and I pulled him out. I
felt like his spirit was being suffocated through all red tape that
is associated with public school. He is very active but also very
bright and attentive to what he wants to learn. He knows all shapes,
colors, numbers (counts to 100), letters, recognizes some words and
loves for me to read with him. Knows some spanish words and knows
how to count in spanish. This is something that his Mom does not
know.
Our 2 1/2 year old was recently diagnosed high functioning autism.
He too is very bright. Knows his shapes, colors, some counting, some
numbers and letters.
All three boys get OT and speech in the home. Our baby also get's
dev. therapy (in the infant toddler program, ages out at 3). They
are pushing me to put him into the early intervention school at age 3.
Mom lives with me and has dementia among other things COPD,
incontinence. She get's daily nurse care for baths.
Our children's case manager and baby's worker is wanting me to put
all the children back into public school for the "socialization". I
know my cup is full, but our boys do not do well in a military type
of environment such as our public school system.
Any words of wisdome to share with me to pass along to
the "expert's"? I know they are thinking I need to destress, but
dealing with our boys not being at home and not knowing what the ps
system is doing to them drives me crazy.
Thanks for everything!
Kathy
and 5 1/2 year old for the last two years with high levels of
stress. Our 10 1/2 year old has PDD-NOS, ADHD, sensory issues (chews
his t-shirt collar, withold's stool and soils). Anyway, he probably
is developmentally age 7. Very bright, remembers so much from his
early years. Wants to do and learn on his own terms.
Our 5 1/2 year old what has high functioning autism, ADHD, and
dysgraphia. He went to preschool one year and I pulled him out. I
felt like his spirit was being suffocated through all red tape that
is associated with public school. He is very active but also very
bright and attentive to what he wants to learn. He knows all shapes,
colors, numbers (counts to 100), letters, recognizes some words and
loves for me to read with him. Knows some spanish words and knows
how to count in spanish. This is something that his Mom does not
know.
Our 2 1/2 year old was recently diagnosed high functioning autism.
He too is very bright. Knows his shapes, colors, some counting, some
numbers and letters.
All three boys get OT and speech in the home. Our baby also get's
dev. therapy (in the infant toddler program, ages out at 3). They
are pushing me to put him into the early intervention school at age 3.
Mom lives with me and has dementia among other things COPD,
incontinence. She get's daily nurse care for baths.
Our children's case manager and baby's worker is wanting me to put
all the children back into public school for the "socialization". I
know my cup is full, but our boys do not do well in a military type
of environment such as our public school system.
Any words of wisdome to share with me to pass along to
the "expert's"? I know they are thinking I need to destress, but
dealing with our boys not being at home and not knowing what the ps
system is doing to them drives me crazy.
Thanks for everything!
Kathy
Ren Allen
~~Any words of wisdome to share with me to pass along to
the "expert's"? ~~
Fire the experts and get on with your life.
Your children don't need all the labels, they just need to be
supported for exactly who they are. Truly.
I don't have time to elaborate right now as I need to get ready for
work, but I'm sure some parents of children diagnosed with autism will
be along shortly to explain how unschooling can free all of you from
reliance on "experts" or labels and simply focus on living joyfully.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
the "expert's"? ~~
Fire the experts and get on with your life.
Your children don't need all the labels, they just need to be
supported for exactly who they are. Truly.
I don't have time to elaborate right now as I need to get ready for
work, but I'm sure some parents of children diagnosed with autism will
be along shortly to explain how unschooling can free all of you from
reliance on "experts" or labels and simply focus on living joyfully.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Judy R
Wow, no kidding, your cup is full! Where are you located? That can make a difference in terms of homeschooling laws; but since you've already been doing it you probably know what the laws are already.
You know, to me, what's interesting is that before public school existed, families just coped - I mean it wasn't even "coping", it was just "life" -
I believe you have the right to decide what is right for your children, and that you have the right to decide how your life should be lived. You are getting some outside help - children can learn and thrive in a busy family; not too long ago, it was very commonplace for there to be an elderly relative in the home that required looking after- children can sometimes even help with that, even it it's just watching TV with them or whatever.
And the labels don't really help, do they? Because to you they are just your children and that's their personality.
I'm sure others on this list will be more specific with how to deal with the "experts" - in Ontario where I live, we are lucky to (so far) have a very lenient home-schooling policy - once you leave the system, they basically wash their hands of you - only if some nosy neighbour or interfering family member calls in Children Services, then it can get messy - but that is extremely rare.
Not too helpful, I know - but I say, if you are willing to do it and you have the stamina - go for it lady and more power to you!
Judy R. in Kingston Ontario
You know, to me, what's interesting is that before public school existed, families just coped - I mean it wasn't even "coping", it was just "life" -
I believe you have the right to decide what is right for your children, and that you have the right to decide how your life should be lived. You are getting some outside help - children can learn and thrive in a busy family; not too long ago, it was very commonplace for there to be an elderly relative in the home that required looking after- children can sometimes even help with that, even it it's just watching TV with them or whatever.
And the labels don't really help, do they? Because to you they are just your children and that's their personality.
I'm sure others on this list will be more specific with how to deal with the "experts" - in Ontario where I live, we are lucky to (so far) have a very lenient home-schooling policy - once you leave the system, they basically wash their hands of you - only if some nosy neighbour or interfering family member calls in Children Services, then it can get messy - but that is extremely rare.
Not too helpful, I know - but I say, if you are willing to do it and you have the stamina - go for it lady and more power to you!
Judy R. in Kingston Ontario
----- Original Message -----
From: morrisfamilyfive
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, June 02, 2008 9:03 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] unschooling with autism, adhd, dysgraphia
Hi all. I am a new unschooler. I attempted to homeschool our 10 1/2
and 5 1/2 year old for the last two years with high levels of
stress. Our 10 1/2 year old has PDD-NOS, ADHD, sensory issues (chews
his t-shirt collar, withold's stool and soils). Anyway, he probably
is developmentally age 7. Very bright, remembers so much from his
early years. Wants to do and learn on his own terms.
Our 5 1/2 year old what has high functioning autism, ADHD, and
dysgraphia. He went to preschool one year and I pulled him out. I
felt like his spirit was being suffocated through all red tape that
is associated with public school. He is very active but also very
bright and attentive to what he wants to learn. He knows all shapes,
colors, numbers (counts to 100), letters, recognizes some words and
loves for me to read with him. Knows some spanish words and knows
how to count in spanish. This is something that his Mom does not
know.
Our 2 1/2 year old was recently diagnosed high functioning autism.
He too is very bright. Knows his shapes, colors, some counting, some
numbers and letters.
All three boys get OT and speech in the home. Our baby also get's
dev. therapy (in the infant toddler program, ages out at 3). They
are pushing me to put him into the early intervention school at age 3.
Mom lives with me and has dementia among other things COPD,
incontinence. She get's daily nurse care for baths.
Our children's case manager and baby's worker is wanting me to put
all the children back into public school for the "socialization". I
know my cup is full, but our boys do not do well in a military type
of environment such as our public school system.
Any words of wisdome to share with me to pass along to
the "expert's"? I know they are thinking I need to destress, but
dealing with our boys not being at home and not knowing what the ps
system is doing to them drives me crazy.
Thanks for everything!
Kathy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kelli Johnston
Hi! I am new to unschooling too so I might not be able to give you advise as
a veteran but I do have an almost 6 year old child with PDD-nos. He was in
early intervention (5-8 hours of school a day) and then last year we
homeschooled him through the school district's homebased program. Early
intervention was good for him up until a point and it really depended on the
program. At some point I realized that they couldn't provide him with what
he needed. School was stressing him out and making things really hard for
him. Homeschooling him has been the best choice for him. We can choose the
social situations that will give him a chance to play with other kids in
smaller groups. He has also gotten incredibly close with his sister who is
4. The "socialization" that he has gotten from playing with her all day is
irreplaceable.
I have decided to look into unschooling because my son seems to be happier
and learn more when he is initiating the subject of study (he taught himself
how to read). The school district was big on worksheets and it ended in
arguments most mornings which affects his stress level and our relationship.
Mostly though, being out of school in general has affected his stress
levels in such a positive way. He has progressed some much that in most ways
he is indistinguishable from his peers. I am hoping that unschooling takes
it to a whole new level.
I too have gotten a lot of "huh?" when I have said we are pulling him out of
school. I know a lot of parents think I am crazy and a lot of teachers
really (At least initially) think he needs to be in school to learn social
skills. Now, after homeschooling for a year they are seeing his progress and
acknowledging that we made the right choice for him. Mainly the support that
they are giving children at school is trying to help them survive IN
SCHOOL..not in the world. I believe that services are imperative for
children that have no choice but to be in school. If one can be at home with
a child on the spectrum, I think it can make a bigger impact on progression
but it requires a lot of attention, giving them opportunities to learn, etc
(obviously!). I personally don't think that exposure to large groups of
children is what kids on the spectrum need. I think they need a comfortable
and non stressful ways to socialize at their own pace and usually in very
small groups (1:1 at least initially). School usually doesn't supply that
opportunity. Plus they can really choose the ways they want to socialize
(nature groups, lessons, playdates, sports, clubs, etc).
Kelli Johnston
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of morrisfamilyfive
Sent: Monday, June 02, 2008 6:03 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] unschooling with autism, adhd, dysgraphia
Hi all. I am a new unschooler. I attempted to homeschool our 10 1/2
and 5 1/2 year old for the last two years with high levels of
stress. Our 10 1/2 year old has PDD-NOS, ADHD, sensory issues (chews
his t-shirt collar, withold's stool and soils). Anyway, he probably
is developmentally age 7. Very bright, remembers so much from his
early years. Wants to do and learn on his own terms.
Our 5 1/2 year old what has high functioning autism, ADHD, and
dysgraphia. He went to preschool one year and I pulled him out. I
felt like his spirit was being suffocated through all red tape that
is associated with public school. He is very active but also very
bright and attentive to what he wants to learn. He knows all shapes,
colors, numbers (counts to 100), letters, recognizes some words and
loves for me to read with him. Knows some spanish words and knows
how to count in spanish. This is something that his Mom does not
know.
Our 2 1/2 year old was recently diagnosed high functioning autism.
He too is very bright. Knows his shapes, colors, some counting, some
numbers and letters.
All three boys get OT and speech in the home. Our baby also get's
dev. therapy (in the infant toddler program, ages out at 3). They
are pushing me to put him into the early intervention school at age 3.
Mom lives with me and has dementia among other things COPD,
incontinence. She get's daily nurse care for baths.
Our children's case manager and baby's worker is wanting me to put
all the children back into public school for the "socialization". I
know my cup is full, but our boys do not do well in a military type
of environment such as our public school system.
Any words of wisdome to share with me to pass along to
the "expert's"? I know they are thinking I need to destress, but
dealing with our boys not being at home and not knowing what the ps
system is doing to them drives me crazy.
Thanks for everything!
Kathy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
a veteran but I do have an almost 6 year old child with PDD-nos. He was in
early intervention (5-8 hours of school a day) and then last year we
homeschooled him through the school district's homebased program. Early
intervention was good for him up until a point and it really depended on the
program. At some point I realized that they couldn't provide him with what
he needed. School was stressing him out and making things really hard for
him. Homeschooling him has been the best choice for him. We can choose the
social situations that will give him a chance to play with other kids in
smaller groups. He has also gotten incredibly close with his sister who is
4. The "socialization" that he has gotten from playing with her all day is
irreplaceable.
I have decided to look into unschooling because my son seems to be happier
and learn more when he is initiating the subject of study (he taught himself
how to read). The school district was big on worksheets and it ended in
arguments most mornings which affects his stress level and our relationship.
Mostly though, being out of school in general has affected his stress
levels in such a positive way. He has progressed some much that in most ways
he is indistinguishable from his peers. I am hoping that unschooling takes
it to a whole new level.
I too have gotten a lot of "huh?" when I have said we are pulling him out of
school. I know a lot of parents think I am crazy and a lot of teachers
really (At least initially) think he needs to be in school to learn social
skills. Now, after homeschooling for a year they are seeing his progress and
acknowledging that we made the right choice for him. Mainly the support that
they are giving children at school is trying to help them survive IN
SCHOOL..not in the world. I believe that services are imperative for
children that have no choice but to be in school. If one can be at home with
a child on the spectrum, I think it can make a bigger impact on progression
but it requires a lot of attention, giving them opportunities to learn, etc
(obviously!). I personally don't think that exposure to large groups of
children is what kids on the spectrum need. I think they need a comfortable
and non stressful ways to socialize at their own pace and usually in very
small groups (1:1 at least initially). School usually doesn't supply that
opportunity. Plus they can really choose the ways they want to socialize
(nature groups, lessons, playdates, sports, clubs, etc).
Kelli Johnston
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of morrisfamilyfive
Sent: Monday, June 02, 2008 6:03 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] unschooling with autism, adhd, dysgraphia
Hi all. I am a new unschooler. I attempted to homeschool our 10 1/2
and 5 1/2 year old for the last two years with high levels of
stress. Our 10 1/2 year old has PDD-NOS, ADHD, sensory issues (chews
his t-shirt collar, withold's stool and soils). Anyway, he probably
is developmentally age 7. Very bright, remembers so much from his
early years. Wants to do and learn on his own terms.
Our 5 1/2 year old what has high functioning autism, ADHD, and
dysgraphia. He went to preschool one year and I pulled him out. I
felt like his spirit was being suffocated through all red tape that
is associated with public school. He is very active but also very
bright and attentive to what he wants to learn. He knows all shapes,
colors, numbers (counts to 100), letters, recognizes some words and
loves for me to read with him. Knows some spanish words and knows
how to count in spanish. This is something that his Mom does not
know.
Our 2 1/2 year old was recently diagnosed high functioning autism.
He too is very bright. Knows his shapes, colors, some counting, some
numbers and letters.
All three boys get OT and speech in the home. Our baby also get's
dev. therapy (in the infant toddler program, ages out at 3). They
are pushing me to put him into the early intervention school at age 3.
Mom lives with me and has dementia among other things COPD,
incontinence. She get's daily nurse care for baths.
Our children's case manager and baby's worker is wanting me to put
all the children back into public school for the "socialization". I
know my cup is full, but our boys do not do well in a military type
of environment such as our public school system.
Any words of wisdome to share with me to pass along to
the "expert's"? I know they are thinking I need to destress, but
dealing with our boys not being at home and not knowing what the ps
system is doing to them drives me crazy.
Thanks for everything!
Kathy
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
olearydeborah
Oh my, Ren,
I give you a resounding, YES! Getting the so-called experts out of my
son's life and being able to eliminate the daily reminders that being
"different" is a bad thing has help enormously. We are now able to
give Connor the freedom to be himself. My elderly neighbors, noticed
the change in him immediately. He is a happy boy. All because we've
stopped trying to make him into someone else.
To be honest, if he told his old school classmates that he was growing
an herb garden, he would have been ridiculed for weeks!
Deb
--- In [email protected], "Ren Allen"
<starsuncloud@...> wrote:
I give you a resounding, YES! Getting the so-called experts out of my
son's life and being able to eliminate the daily reminders that being
"different" is a bad thing has help enormously. We are now able to
give Connor the freedom to be himself. My elderly neighbors, noticed
the change in him immediately. He is a happy boy. All because we've
stopped trying to make him into someone else.
To be honest, if he told his old school classmates that he was growing
an herb garden, he would have been ridiculed for weeks!
Deb
--- In [email protected], "Ren Allen"
<starsuncloud@...> wrote:
>
> ~~Any words of wisdome to share with me to pass along to
> the "expert's"? ~~
>
>
> Fire the experts and get on with your life.
>
> Your children don't need all the labels, they just need to be
> supported for exactly who they are. Truly.
>
> I don't have time to elaborate right now as I need to get ready for
> work, but I'm sure some parents of children diagnosed with autism will
> be along shortly to explain how unschooling can free all of you from
> reliance on "experts" or labels and simply focus on living joyfully.
>
> Ren
> learninginfreedom.com
>
Jamie Minnis
****************************************************************
I give you a resounding, YES! Getting the so-called experts out of my
son's life and being able to eliminate the daily reminders that being
"different" is a bad thing has help enormously. We are now able to
give Connor the freedom to be himself. My elderly neighbors, noticed
the change in him immediately. He is a happy boy. All because we've
stopped trying to make him into someone else.
*****************************************************************
When I got completely tired of "fighting" for what little services I could get for my sons and realized that even those things weren't helping as much as being home with me, my husband and I decided to homeschool. Well, he decided it would be ok if I homeschooled and I knew that I would be unschooling. The changes in my boys has been remarkable! My MIL could hardly believe the changes she saw in just a few weeks and now comes over whenever she has a chance (and it's an hour drive for her).
Oh! And the happiest, most freeing, day for me came when I shredded their IEPs, progress reports, behavior logs, etc. from school. i did, however, keep their official diagnoses just in case we might need them later for medical purposes and such. Just the thought of getting all of those "experts" out of my life that never really understood my kiddos was so exhilarating!
Jamie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I give you a resounding, YES! Getting the so-called experts out of my
son's life and being able to eliminate the daily reminders that being
"different" is a bad thing has help enormously. We are now able to
give Connor the freedom to be himself. My elderly neighbors, noticed
the change in him immediately. He is a happy boy. All because we've
stopped trying to make him into someone else.
*****************************************************************
When I got completely tired of "fighting" for what little services I could get for my sons and realized that even those things weren't helping as much as being home with me, my husband and I decided to homeschool. Well, he decided it would be ok if I homeschooled and I knew that I would be unschooling. The changes in my boys has been remarkable! My MIL could hardly believe the changes she saw in just a few weeks and now comes over whenever she has a chance (and it's an hour drive for her).
Oh! And the happiest, most freeing, day for me came when I shredded their IEPs, progress reports, behavior logs, etc. from school. i did, however, keep their official diagnoses just in case we might need them later for medical purposes and such. Just the thought of getting all of those "experts" out of my life that never really understood my kiddos was so exhilarating!
Jamie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
morrisfamilyfive
Thanks for all the advice. We truly let our children be just who they
are and do not impose on their personality.
We definitely get lot's of "suggestions" that are not welcomed in the
community. I do voice my thoughts to each and every person that tries
to give me advice that we do not ask for. Trust me on this one.
I just put the labels there to let you all know that we are a unique
family with lots of unique abilities. I do not call our
boys "autistic" by no stretch of the word.
I guess we are already "unschooling" and really am not fully aware of
it, LOL! We definitely march to the beat of our own family drum.
Thanks again for the warm emails and suggestions. Keep em coming.
Kathy
are and do not impose on their personality.
We definitely get lot's of "suggestions" that are not welcomed in the
community. I do voice my thoughts to each and every person that tries
to give me advice that we do not ask for. Trust me on this one.
I just put the labels there to let you all know that we are a unique
family with lots of unique abilities. I do not call our
boys "autistic" by no stretch of the word.
I guess we are already "unschooling" and really am not fully aware of
it, LOL! We definitely march to the beat of our own family drum.
Thanks again for the warm emails and suggestions. Keep em coming.
Kathy
keetry
--- In [email protected], "morrisfamilyfive"
<morrisfamilyfive@...> wrote:
children to be socialized in public school. That's not the kind of
socialization I want them to have.
your kids.
Alysia
<morrisfamilyfive@...> wrote:
>One of the main reasons I homeschool is because I DON'T want my
> Our children's case manager and baby's worker is wanting me to put
> all the children back into public school for the "socialization".
children to be socialized in public school. That's not the kind of
socialization I want them to have.
> Any words of wisdome to share with me to pass along toI agree with Ren. Fire the experts. Dump the labels. Just live with
> the "expert's"?
your kids.
Alysia
keetry
> a lot of teacherssocial
> really (At least initially) think he needs to be in school to learn
> skills.What kind of positive social skills do teachers think kids will learn
in school that they won't learn at home? I really don't understand
that. Have any teachers, or anyone else for that matter, ever
elaborated on what exactly they mean? Most of the news I hear about
socializing in schools is negative. Socializing is not allowed in a
lot of schools, actually. I would challenge those people to come up
with some specific examples of that. I bet they can't.
Alysia
Pamela Sorooshian
Yesterday, my sister, special ed teacher of young children in a public
school, told me this little vignette:
A mom brought in a little boy who has multiple disabilities - 5 year
old. She told my sister, "We never use the word 'can't' with him
because we want him to feel that there is always some way to do
whatever he wants to do." My sister said, "Nice sentiment, but we WILL
be using the word 'can't' here because there will be things he 'can't'
do. For example, he can't go on the slide or the jungle gym because
the district policy is that no child with a seizure disorder is
allowed to go "up" on any playground equipment." Anyway, there was
more of the same - my sister explaining to the mom the restrictions of
being in a public school program.
The next day the mom decided not to enroll the child after all. The
principal said something about it to my sister - about it being "too
bad." My sister said, "No, it was probably the best thing. With his
mom, he 'CAN' do all kinds of things he couldn't do here."
She wasn't being sarcastic, she meant it. She doesn't think the public
school classroom is the best thing for all kids, but she does believe
that many parents simply cannot cope well with the many severe
disabilities their children have. Also, what both of my sisters (both
special ed teachers) see is a lot of parents who do NOT at all support
their kids in meeting challenges - don't allow their kids to take any
risks, etc. Their kids get far more freedom to be themselves in the
classroom than they do at home, where they may be well cared for (or
not), but they aren't supported much in DOING things for themselves.
-pam
school, told me this little vignette:
A mom brought in a little boy who has multiple disabilities - 5 year
old. She told my sister, "We never use the word 'can't' with him
because we want him to feel that there is always some way to do
whatever he wants to do." My sister said, "Nice sentiment, but we WILL
be using the word 'can't' here because there will be things he 'can't'
do. For example, he can't go on the slide or the jungle gym because
the district policy is that no child with a seizure disorder is
allowed to go "up" on any playground equipment." Anyway, there was
more of the same - my sister explaining to the mom the restrictions of
being in a public school program.
The next day the mom decided not to enroll the child after all. The
principal said something about it to my sister - about it being "too
bad." My sister said, "No, it was probably the best thing. With his
mom, he 'CAN' do all kinds of things he couldn't do here."
She wasn't being sarcastic, she meant it. She doesn't think the public
school classroom is the best thing for all kids, but she does believe
that many parents simply cannot cope well with the many severe
disabilities their children have. Also, what both of my sisters (both
special ed teachers) see is a lot of parents who do NOT at all support
their kids in meeting challenges - don't allow their kids to take any
risks, etc. Their kids get far more freedom to be themselves in the
classroom than they do at home, where they may be well cared for (or
not), but they aren't supported much in DOING things for themselves.
-pam
On Jun 2, 2008, at 8:10 AM, olearydeborah wrote:
> I give you a resounding, YES! Getting the so-called experts out of my
> son's life and being able to eliminate the daily reminders that being
> "different" is a bad thing has help enormously. We are now able to
> give Connor the freedom to be himself.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kathleen Gehrke
I have had well meaning friends say get Olivia a diagnosis. I like to
respond. WHY she is a perfect Olivia. Celebrate who your kids are today!
Kathleen
respond. WHY she is a perfect Olivia. Celebrate who your kids are today!
Kathleen
Pamela Sorooshian
On Jun 2, 2008, at 9:39 AM, morrisfamilyfive wrote:
Honestly - I forgot how the thread even started, so what I've been
writing as not at ALL been directed at you, in particular.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> Thanks again for the warm emails and suggestions. Keep em coming.Thanks for taking them in the spirit intended.
Honestly - I forgot how the thread even started, so what I've been
writing as not at ALL been directed at you, in particular.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Melissa Gray
Hey,
I'm unschooling several on the spectrum. If you need to talk, we can
take it offline. Or do it here, whichever you prefer.
I don't have much to say about words of 'wisdom' for the experts.
What I've done, in my nonconfrontational way, is to say "We're going
to try this for a while, and we'll do things differently when we're
ready" In my mind I'm thinking, NEVER!!! Unschooling has saved the
heart and souls of all of my kids. I have a really great psych who is
totally on board with unschooling, and we've dropped everyone else.
When you're living life, you really don't need them anymore, you're
meeting your child's needs on your own terms. However, I did spend
the last two years before homeschooling cutting them out of our
lives, mostly seeing them monthly or annually to reassess where the
kids are and learning more about how to help them. It really was not
instinctive for me. I don't know how much of that was autism, and how
much was my own dysfunctional childhood, but we always found
professionals that were willing to teach ME, not the kids, and didn't
complain if we didn't do it their way.
Melissa
Mom to Joshua, Breanna, Emily, Rachel, Samuel, Daniel and Avari
Wife to Zane
blog me at
http://startlinglives.blogspot.com/
http://startlinglives365.blogspot.com
I'm unschooling several on the spectrum. If you need to talk, we can
take it offline. Or do it here, whichever you prefer.
I don't have much to say about words of 'wisdom' for the experts.
What I've done, in my nonconfrontational way, is to say "We're going
to try this for a while, and we'll do things differently when we're
ready" In my mind I'm thinking, NEVER!!! Unschooling has saved the
heart and souls of all of my kids. I have a really great psych who is
totally on board with unschooling, and we've dropped everyone else.
When you're living life, you really don't need them anymore, you're
meeting your child's needs on your own terms. However, I did spend
the last two years before homeschooling cutting them out of our
lives, mostly seeing them monthly or annually to reassess where the
kids are and learning more about how to help them. It really was not
instinctive for me. I don't know how much of that was autism, and how
much was my own dysfunctional childhood, but we always found
professionals that were willing to teach ME, not the kids, and didn't
complain if we didn't do it their way.
Melissa
Mom to Joshua, Breanna, Emily, Rachel, Samuel, Daniel and Avari
Wife to Zane
blog me at
http://startlinglives.blogspot.com/
http://startlinglives365.blogspot.com
On Jun 2, 2008, at 8:03 AM, morrisfamilyfive wrote:
> Hi all. I am a new unschooler. I attempted to homeschool our 10 1/2
> and 5 1/2 year old for the last two years with high levels of
> stress. Our 10 1/2 year old has PDD-NOS, ADHD, sensory issues (chews
> his t-shirt collar, withold's stool and soils). Anyway, he probably
> is developmentally age 7. Very bright, remembers so much from his
> early years. Wants to do and learn on his own terms.
>
> Our 5 1/2 year old what has high functioning autism, ADHD, and
> dysgraphia. He went to preschool one year and I pulled him out. I
> felt like his spirit was being suffocated through all red tape that
> is associated with public school. He is very active but also very
> bright and attentive to what he wants to learn. He knows all shapes,
> colors, numbers (counts to 100), letters, recognizes some words and
> loves for me to read with him. Knows some spanish words and knows
> how to count in spanish. This is something that his Mom does not
> know.
>
> Our 2 1/2 year old was recently diagnosed high functioning autism.
> He too is very bright. Knows his shapes, colors, some counting, some
> numbers and letters.
>
> All three boys get OT and speech in the home. Our baby also get's
> dev. therapy (in the infant toddler program, ages out at 3). They
> are pushing me to put him into the early intervention school at age 3.
>
> Mom lives with me and has dementia among other things COPD,
> incontinence. She get's daily nurse care for baths.
>
> Our children's case manager and baby's worker is wanting me to put
> all the children back into public school for the "socialization". I
> know my cup is full, but our boys do not do well in a military type
> of environment such as our public school system.
>
> Any words of wisdome to share with me to pass along to
> the "expert's"? I know they are thinking I need to destress, but
> dealing with our boys not being at home and not knowing what the ps
> system is doing to them drives me crazy.
>
> Thanks for everything!
>
> Kathy
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jolene
Dear Kathy,
The term "on the spectrum" seems so funny to me (I know posters are
referring to the "autism spectrum") -- aren't we all on some sort of
spectrum?! =)
When my son was 1yo, I volunteered for a few months at a private
early education center (0-5yo). The woman ("expert") who ran the
clinic labeled my 1yo as "gifted." I hated that! I hadn't even
heard of unschooling then. I'm sure she would say he's on some sort
of "spectrum" now. I know he would hate school. He doesn't like to do
anything anyone else is telling him he has to do, he tends to get
totally engrossed in an activity and keep with it much longer than
I've heard is "normal" for most kids, he's *very* energetic,
emotional and strong-willed. I came to find that the woman at the
clinic had a lot of stress, was not dealing with it well, was very
judgemental and gossipy of her clients, and had a hard time keeping
employees.
I recently enrolled ds in a couple of "fun" activities (Gymboree and
Little Gym), because we just moved and I thought it would be a good
way to meet kids and moms (we moved to Geneva, Switzerland where
there are almost no homeschoolers, much less unschoolers). But now I
can't wait for our membership to be over, because my son refuses to
participate in the group, which leads the instructors to degrade him
(either in actual words or just with their attitudes). We don't even
go half the time anymore.
The point that I'm getting to is that living life with how your kids
are and appreciating how they are will support them more than
anything an "expert" can say. You and your kids are the experts! I
think experts can offer a lot of good ideas, but I'd say follow your
own sense of what works for your kids.
A lot of people tell me I need to think of myself, too, as an
argument to put ds in school and do things I like during the day. I
think I need some more time to decompress, too. I figure I'll just
take the money we'd spend on school and similar activities and hire a
babysitter who can appreciate my style of parenting/education.
Another idea for you if you also feel the need to stress less may be
to coordinate with other families -- your kids go over to their
house, then their kids visit you.
Hope I haven't blabbed too much. I know there are a lot of people
here supporting that you let go of the "experts." I'm another one.
Jolene =)
--- In [email protected], Melissa Gray
<autismhelp@...> wrote:
The term "on the spectrum" seems so funny to me (I know posters are
referring to the "autism spectrum") -- aren't we all on some sort of
spectrum?! =)
When my son was 1yo, I volunteered for a few months at a private
early education center (0-5yo). The woman ("expert") who ran the
clinic labeled my 1yo as "gifted." I hated that! I hadn't even
heard of unschooling then. I'm sure she would say he's on some sort
of "spectrum" now. I know he would hate school. He doesn't like to do
anything anyone else is telling him he has to do, he tends to get
totally engrossed in an activity and keep with it much longer than
I've heard is "normal" for most kids, he's *very* energetic,
emotional and strong-willed. I came to find that the woman at the
clinic had a lot of stress, was not dealing with it well, was very
judgemental and gossipy of her clients, and had a hard time keeping
employees.
I recently enrolled ds in a couple of "fun" activities (Gymboree and
Little Gym), because we just moved and I thought it would be a good
way to meet kids and moms (we moved to Geneva, Switzerland where
there are almost no homeschoolers, much less unschoolers). But now I
can't wait for our membership to be over, because my son refuses to
participate in the group, which leads the instructors to degrade him
(either in actual words or just with their attitudes). We don't even
go half the time anymore.
The point that I'm getting to is that living life with how your kids
are and appreciating how they are will support them more than
anything an "expert" can say. You and your kids are the experts! I
think experts can offer a lot of good ideas, but I'd say follow your
own sense of what works for your kids.
A lot of people tell me I need to think of myself, too, as an
argument to put ds in school and do things I like during the day. I
think I need some more time to decompress, too. I figure I'll just
take the money we'd spend on school and similar activities and hire a
babysitter who can appreciate my style of parenting/education.
Another idea for you if you also feel the need to stress less may be
to coordinate with other families -- your kids go over to their
house, then their kids visit you.
Hope I haven't blabbed too much. I know there are a lot of people
here supporting that you let go of the "experts." I'm another one.
Jolene =)
--- In [email protected], Melissa Gray
<autismhelp@...> wrote:
>can
> Hey,
> I'm unschooling several on the spectrum. If you need to talk, we
> take it offline. Or do it here, whichever you prefer.going
>
> I don't have much to say about words of 'wisdom' for the experts.
> What I've done, in my nonconfrontational way, is to say "We're
> to try this for a while, and we'll do things differently whenwe're
> ready" In my mind I'm thinking, NEVER!!! Unschooling has saved theis
> heart and souls of all of my kids. I have a really great psych who
> totally on board with unschooling, and we've dropped everyoneelse.
> When you're living life, you really don't need them anymore,you're
> meeting your child's needs on your own terms. However, I did spendthe
> the last two years before homeschooling cutting them out of our
> lives, mostly seeing them monthly or annually to reassess where
> kids are and learning more about how to help them. It really wasnot
> instinctive for me. I don't know how much of that was autism, andhow
> much was my own dysfunctional childhood, but we always founddidn't
> professionals that were willing to teach ME, not the kids, and
> complain if we didn't do it their way.1/2
>
> Melissa
> Mom to Joshua, Breanna, Emily, Rachel, Samuel, Daniel and Avari
> Wife to Zane
>
> blog me at
> http://startlinglives.blogspot.com/
> http://startlinglives365.blogspot.com
>
>
>
> On Jun 2, 2008, at 8:03 AM, morrisfamilyfive wrote:
>
> > Hi all. I am a new unschooler. I attempted to homeschool our 10
> > and 5 1/2 year old for the last two years with high levels of(chews
> > stress. Our 10 1/2 year old has PDD-NOS, ADHD, sensory issues
> > his t-shirt collar, withold's stool and soils). Anyway, heprobably
> > is developmentally age 7. Very bright, remembers so much from histhat
> > early years. Wants to do and learn on his own terms.
> >
> > Our 5 1/2 year old what has high functioning autism, ADHD, and
> > dysgraphia. He went to preschool one year and I pulled him out. I
> > felt like his spirit was being suffocated through all red tape
> > is associated with public school. He is very active but also veryshapes,
> > bright and attentive to what he wants to learn. He knows all
> > colors, numbers (counts to 100), letters, recognizes some wordsand
> > loves for me to read with him. Knows some spanish words and knowssome
> > how to count in spanish. This is something that his Mom does not
> > know.
> >
> > Our 2 1/2 year old was recently diagnosed high functioning autism.
> > He too is very bright. Knows his shapes, colors, some counting,
> > numbers and letters.age 3.
> >
> > All three boys get OT and speech in the home. Our baby also get's
> > dev. therapy (in the infant toddler program, ages out at 3). They
> > are pushing me to put him into the early intervention school at
> >I
> > Mom lives with me and has dementia among other things COPD,
> > incontinence. She get's daily nurse care for baths.
> >
> > Our children's case manager and baby's worker is wanting me to put
> > all the children back into public school for the "socialization".
> > know my cup is full, but our boys do not do well in a militarytype
> > of environment such as our public school system.ps
> >
> > Any words of wisdome to share with me to pass along to
> > the "expert's"? I know they are thinking I need to destress, but
> > dealing with our boys not being at home and not knowing what the
> > system is doing to them drives me crazy.
> >
> > Thanks for everything!
> >
> > Kathy
> >
> >
> >
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: Jolene <joyauxjo@...>
I recently enrolled ds in a couple of "fun" activities (Gymboree and
Little Gym), because we just moved and I thought it would be a good
way to meet kids and moms (we moved to Geneva, Switzerland where
there are almost no homeschoolers, much less unschoolers).
-==-=-=-
There's an active unschooling group in Germany. You might want to look
them up. Johanna and her crew puts out a slick magazine called
"Unerzogen"--and they have a yahoogroup:
http://de.groups.yahoo.com/group/unerzogen They have over 300 members.
Not bad for a country where homeschooling is verboten!
They may know of someone is Geneva---maybe just around the block from
you! <g> You never know!
-=-=-=-=-=-
But now I can't wait for our membership to be over, because my son
refuses to
participate in the group, which leads the instructors to degrade him
(either in actual words or just with their attitudes). We don't even
go half the time anymore.
-=-=-=-=-=-=
Is there some reason you feel the need to even worry about it any more?
No one's going to arrest you if you never go back! <g>
Too many people feel that, if they've *paid* for lessons or a class,
they *must* go.
You don't. Really.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
From: Jolene <joyauxjo@...>
I recently enrolled ds in a couple of "fun" activities (Gymboree and
Little Gym), because we just moved and I thought it would be a good
way to meet kids and moms (we moved to Geneva, Switzerland where
there are almost no homeschoolers, much less unschoolers).
-==-=-=-
There's an active unschooling group in Germany. You might want to look
them up. Johanna and her crew puts out a slick magazine called
"Unerzogen"--and they have a yahoogroup:
http://de.groups.yahoo.com/group/unerzogen They have over 300 members.
Not bad for a country where homeschooling is verboten!
They may know of someone is Geneva---maybe just around the block from
you! <g> You never know!
-=-=-=-=-=-
But now I can't wait for our membership to be over, because my son
refuses to
participate in the group, which leads the instructors to degrade him
(either in actual words or just with their attitudes). We don't even
go half the time anymore.
-=-=-=-=-=-=
Is there some reason you feel the need to even worry about it any more?
No one's going to arrest you if you never go back! <g>
Too many people feel that, if they've *paid* for lessons or a class,
they *must* go.
You don't. Really.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org