[unschoolingbasics]Emotions and feelings was Wanting to be radical, lol.
Jeanette Crichton
<<<<<<He thinks I "made them"
so sensitive and "emotional" by catering to their needs overmuch. In a
sense, he's right. >>>>>>>>
I am writing at 3 am because I have been dwelling on this while lying in bed. I came downstairs to read e-mail and you wrote exactly what I have been thinking (and I think my husband has been thinking too!). I started reading a book called "The Power of Purpose" tonight and even though the book is obviously meant for adults, I started making connections between things I was reading and unschooling.
I hope that someone else has read the book and can understand where I am going with this thought, but for those of you that haven't this is the jist: There are (according to the author) three levels of thinking: 1)How do I feel? 2)How do others see me? 3)How can I help others? The author thinks that "successful" people are at level three (mostly). I was thinking that I am spending too much time and energy helping my kids with the level one thinking and that their feelings are dominating them too much. I think I have finally figured out what my mom has been meaning when she says to me (about my siblings and I), "I just didn't pay so much attention to you (I think she means our emotions) when you were kids." I think we just moved through and past our emotions without them being such a HUGE deal. Don't get me wrong, my mom and I are very emotional people, but I guess that the moments where my emotions would overtake me were weekly at the MOST. My
kids are melting down multiple times each day and it seems to be getting worse not better.
I was pleased with how I handled this situation: This morning my 5 yo was so upset (think tantrum) because my husband was taking my 3yo fishing. He really wanted to be with his daddy and we tried to come to a compromise, but he was irrational (he did not want to go fishing). Finally, my husband left and instead of doing my usual "talk it out" (think feelings talk), I walked him to the car. All the while he was saying no, I don't want to go anywhere, but he was gently holding my hand and coming along. He calmed down in the car. We went to get some lunch and then stopped at the store and bought some treats. When we got back to the car he said, "I feel so much better now" (he hadn't even eaten yet). And on the way home we talked about his daddy needing his "love bucket" filled and how my son felt jealous. These were all things that he brought up. When he got home he wanted to wrap a gift (some of the treats that we got) for his daddy and draw him
a picture. I think that this scenario was much better than others because I helped him move past the initial feelings, forget about it, and then revisit the feelings later. I want to continue in this direction with him. I don't want to discount his feelings, I just want to help him to not allow feelings to overtake him. My younger son is the same way with feelings, but he seems to overreact with anger while the older son overreacts with a "poor me" attitude.
I guess that I am worried that I am "making them more emotional" and not doing the right things to help them "snap out of it" so that they can see things more realistically. Any thoughts or ideas would be helpful.
Jeanette
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
so sensitive and "emotional" by catering to their needs overmuch. In a
sense, he's right. >>>>>>>>
I am writing at 3 am because I have been dwelling on this while lying in bed. I came downstairs to read e-mail and you wrote exactly what I have been thinking (and I think my husband has been thinking too!). I started reading a book called "The Power of Purpose" tonight and even though the book is obviously meant for adults, I started making connections between things I was reading and unschooling.
I hope that someone else has read the book and can understand where I am going with this thought, but for those of you that haven't this is the jist: There are (according to the author) three levels of thinking: 1)How do I feel? 2)How do others see me? 3)How can I help others? The author thinks that "successful" people are at level three (mostly). I was thinking that I am spending too much time and energy helping my kids with the level one thinking and that their feelings are dominating them too much. I think I have finally figured out what my mom has been meaning when she says to me (about my siblings and I), "I just didn't pay so much attention to you (I think she means our emotions) when you were kids." I think we just moved through and past our emotions without them being such a HUGE deal. Don't get me wrong, my mom and I are very emotional people, but I guess that the moments where my emotions would overtake me were weekly at the MOST. My
kids are melting down multiple times each day and it seems to be getting worse not better.
I was pleased with how I handled this situation: This morning my 5 yo was so upset (think tantrum) because my husband was taking my 3yo fishing. He really wanted to be with his daddy and we tried to come to a compromise, but he was irrational (he did not want to go fishing). Finally, my husband left and instead of doing my usual "talk it out" (think feelings talk), I walked him to the car. All the while he was saying no, I don't want to go anywhere, but he was gently holding my hand and coming along. He calmed down in the car. We went to get some lunch and then stopped at the store and bought some treats. When we got back to the car he said, "I feel so much better now" (he hadn't even eaten yet). And on the way home we talked about his daddy needing his "love bucket" filled and how my son felt jealous. These were all things that he brought up. When he got home he wanted to wrap a gift (some of the treats that we got) for his daddy and draw him
a picture. I think that this scenario was much better than others because I helped him move past the initial feelings, forget about it, and then revisit the feelings later. I want to continue in this direction with him. I don't want to discount his feelings, I just want to help him to not allow feelings to overtake him. My younger son is the same way with feelings, but he seems to overreact with anger while the older son overreacts with a "poor me" attitude.
I guess that I am worried that I am "making them more emotional" and not doing the right things to help them "snap out of it" so that they can see things more realistically. Any thoughts or ideas would be helpful.
Jeanette
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Judy R
It's such a delicate balance, isn't it? And sometimes you don't know if you've done the *right* thing until later - sometimes *way* later.
One of my girls was like this too - and for her, what you are describing did often help to get over the overwhelming feelings that her tantrums were being fueled by - she is 13 1/2 now, and it only rarely happens, but it did happen once last summer at camp - they were going to move her to another cabin at the break, into a cabin with older girls that she knew and loved from the last year - but still she freaked...until she was actually in the cabin and then she was over it almost instantly - but nothing I said to her previously would penetrate that, I guess it is almost *fear* of change or of anything different. I think you may be right that with *some* children anyway, you may be doing them a favour to set it up so that the emotional thing is gotten through quickly. And you can't always do it perfectly - they are very unpredictable about what is going to send them off, right? Anyway, sounds like it all turned out beautifully in the end. JR
One of my girls was like this too - and for her, what you are describing did often help to get over the overwhelming feelings that her tantrums were being fueled by - she is 13 1/2 now, and it only rarely happens, but it did happen once last summer at camp - they were going to move her to another cabin at the break, into a cabin with older girls that she knew and loved from the last year - but still she freaked...until she was actually in the cabin and then she was over it almost instantly - but nothing I said to her previously would penetrate that, I guess it is almost *fear* of change or of anything different. I think you may be right that with *some* children anyway, you may be doing them a favour to set it up so that the emotional thing is gotten through quickly. And you can't always do it perfectly - they are very unpredictable about what is going to send them off, right? Anyway, sounds like it all turned out beautifully in the end. JR
----- Original Message -----
From: Jeanette Crichton
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, June 01, 2008 3:52 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics]Emotions and feelings was Wanting to be radical, lol.
<<<<<<He thinks I "made them"
so sensitive and "emotional" by catering to their needs overmuch. In a
sense, he's right. >>>>>>>>
I am writing at 3 am because I have been dwelling on this while lying in bed. I came downstairs to read e-mail and you wrote exactly what I have been thinking (and I think my husband has been thinking too!). I started reading a book called "The Power of Purpose" tonight and even though the book is obviously meant for adults, I started making connections between things I was reading and unschooling.
I hope that someone else has read the book and can understand where I am going with this thought, but for those of you that haven't this is the jist: There are (according to the author) three levels of thinking: 1)How do I feel? 2)How do others see me? 3)How can I help others? The author thinks that "successful" people are at level three (mostly). I was thinking that I am spending too much time and energy helping my kids with the level one thinking and that their feelings are dominating them too much. I think I have finally figured out what my mom has been meaning when she says to me (about my siblings and I), "I just didn't pay so much attention to you (I think she means our emotions) when you were kids." I think we just moved through and past our emotions without them being such a HUGE deal. Don't get me wrong, my mom and I are very emotional people, but I guess that the moments where my emotions would overtake me were weekly at the MOST. My
kids are melting down multiple times each day and it seems to be getting worse not better.
I was pleased with how I handled this situation: This morning my 5 yo was so upset (think tantrum) because my husband was taking my 3yo fishing. He really wanted to be with his daddy and we tried to come to a compromise, but he was irrational (he did not want to go fishing). Finally, my husband left and instead of doing my usual "talk it out" (think feelings talk), I walked him to the car. All the while he was saying no, I don't want to go anywhere, but he was gently holding my hand and coming along. He calmed down in the car. We went to get some lunch and then stopped at the store and bought some treats. When we got back to the car he said, "I feel so much better now" (he hadn't even eaten yet). And on the way home we talked about his daddy needing his "love bucket" filled and how my son felt jealous. These were all things that he brought up. When he got home he wanted to wrap a gift (some of the treats that we got) for his daddy and d raw him
a picture. I think that this scenario was much better than others because I helped him move past the initial feelings, forget about it, and then revisit the feelings later. I want to continue in this direction with him. I don't want to discount his feelings, I just want to help him to not allow feelings to overtake him. My younger son is the same way with feelings, but he seems to overreact with anger while the older son overreacts with a "poor me" attitude.
I guess that I am worried that I am "making them more emotional" and not doing the right things to help them "snap out of it" so that they can see things more realistically. Any thoughts or ideas would be helpful.
Jeanette
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ren Allen
~~I guess that I am worried that I am "making them more emotional" and
not doing the right things to help them "snap out of it" so that they
can see things more realistically.~~
This is a HUGE topic and one that would be hard to cover in a
discussion here. I don't think we need to help anyone "snap out of it"
so to speak, yet I do have a child that can be "fed" with overwhelming
emotions and energy if it's not handled well. Sometimes we need to
just keep moving forward with something and not "feed" that intensity
he's feeling so that he CAN cope with it in some manner. Sometimes we
need to just let him be so he can shut down or BE intense. It's such
an "it depends" thing.
So while I wouldn't encourage parents to try and move someone past an
emotion, I DO understand how some people can have their fear or anger
fueled if you keep talking about it in the moment. It's a fine balance
sometimes and this is where your understanding and empathy for your
child and their unique personality plays into what will be best in
that situation.
There are many times I think parents are uncomfortable with the
intensity of emotion and we need to just learn how to be comfortable
with it and let it wash over us without getting fueled up or feeling
like we need to "fix" anything.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
not doing the right things to help them "snap out of it" so that they
can see things more realistically.~~
This is a HUGE topic and one that would be hard to cover in a
discussion here. I don't think we need to help anyone "snap out of it"
so to speak, yet I do have a child that can be "fed" with overwhelming
emotions and energy if it's not handled well. Sometimes we need to
just keep moving forward with something and not "feed" that intensity
he's feeling so that he CAN cope with it in some manner. Sometimes we
need to just let him be so he can shut down or BE intense. It's such
an "it depends" thing.
So while I wouldn't encourage parents to try and move someone past an
emotion, I DO understand how some people can have their fear or anger
fueled if you keep talking about it in the moment. It's a fine balance
sometimes and this is where your understanding and empathy for your
child and their unique personality plays into what will be best in
that situation.
There are many times I think parents are uncomfortable with the
intensity of emotion and we need to just learn how to be comfortable
with it and let it wash over us without getting fueled up or feeling
like we need to "fix" anything.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: Judy R <jroberts@...>
And you can't always do it perfectly - they are very unpredictable
about what is
going to send them off, right?
-=-=-=-
I don't know how "unpredictable" they are.
I think we can be more tuned in and work to understand *what* "sends
them off."
There's often a pattern.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
From: Judy R <jroberts@...>
And you can't always do it perfectly - they are very unpredictable
about what is
going to send them off, right?
-=-=-=-
I don't know how "unpredictable" they are.
I think we can be more tuned in and work to understand *what* "sends
them off."
There's often a pattern.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
Jeanette Crichton
This is strange to reply to my own post, but I had to add something that has brought tears to my eyes and has helped me to see my children in a different light. I found an article on over excitability. The article happens to be on a gifted children website (they say that over excitability is common in gifted children, but that it can occur even if the child is not gifted-whatever that means) and it describes both of my boys to a tee! I feel so much better knowing that there are other parents that deal with what I deal with. I LOVE most aspects of my children's excitability because it brings soooo much joy to them, to me, to all who know them. However, it has really been hard to deal with the times that they can't set their excitability aside out of respect for others. It's like when it's turned on there is no adjusting it. This is what I'm struggling with and need some input. Here is the link:
http://www.sengifted.org/articles_social/Lind_OverexcitabilityAndTheGifted.shtml
Jeanette
----- Original Message ----
From: Jeanette Crichton <jeanettec_99@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, June 1, 2008 3:52:45 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics]Emotions and feelings was Wanting to be radical, lol.
<<<<<<He thinks I "made them"
so sensitive and "emotional" by catering to their needs overmuch. In a
sense, he's right. >>>>>>>>
I am writing at 3 am because I have been dwelling on this while lying in bed. I came downstairs to read e-mail and you wrote exactly what I have been thinking (and I think my husband has been thinking too!). I started reading a book called "The Power of Purpose" tonight and even though the book is obviously meant for adults, I started making connections between things I was reading and unschooling.
I hope that someone else has read the book and can understand where I am going with this thought, but for those of you that haven't this is the jist: There are (according to the author) three levels of thinking: 1)How do I feel? 2)How do others see me? 3)How can I help others? The author thinks that "successful" people are at level three (mostly). I was thinking that I am spending too much time and energy helping my kids with the level one thinking and that their feelings are dominating them too much. I think I have finally figured out what my mom has been meaning when she says to me (about my siblings and I), "I just didn't pay so much attention to you (I think she means our emotions) when you were kids." I think we just moved through and past our emotions without them being such a HUGE deal. Don't get me wrong, my mom and I are very emotional people, but I guess that the moments where my emotions would overtake me were weekly at the MOST. My
kids are melting down multiple times each day and it seems to be getting worse not better.
I was pleased with how I handled this situation: This morning my 5 yo was so upset (think tantrum) because my husband was taking my 3yo fishing. He really wanted to be with his daddy and we tried to come to a compromise, but he was irrational (he did not want to go fishing). Finally, my husband left and instead of doing my usual "talk it out" (think feelings talk), I walked him to the car. All the while he was saying no, I don't want to go anywhere, but he was gently holding my hand and coming along. He calmed down in the car. We went to get some lunch and then stopped at the store and bought some treats. When we got back to the car he said, "I feel so much better now" (he hadn't even eaten yet). And on the way home we talked about his daddy needing his "love bucket" filled and how my son felt jealous. These were all things that he brought up. When he got home he wanted to wrap a gift (some of the treats that we got) for his daddy and draw him
a picture. I think that this scenario was much better than others because I helped him move past the initial feelings, forget about it, and then revisit the feelings later. I want to continue in this direction with him. I don't want to discount his feelings, I just want to help him to not allow feelings to overtake him. My younger son is the same way with feelings, but he seems to overreact with anger while the older son overreacts with a "poor me" attitude.
I guess that I am worried that I am "making them more emotional" and not doing the right things to help them "snap out of it" so that they can see things more realistically. Any thoughts or ideas would be helpful.
Jeanette
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
http://www.sengifted.org/articles_social/Lind_OverexcitabilityAndTheGifted.shtml
Jeanette
----- Original Message ----
From: Jeanette Crichton <jeanettec_99@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Sunday, June 1, 2008 3:52:45 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics]Emotions and feelings was Wanting to be radical, lol.
<<<<<<He thinks I "made them"
so sensitive and "emotional" by catering to their needs overmuch. In a
sense, he's right. >>>>>>>>
I am writing at 3 am because I have been dwelling on this while lying in bed. I came downstairs to read e-mail and you wrote exactly what I have been thinking (and I think my husband has been thinking too!). I started reading a book called "The Power of Purpose" tonight and even though the book is obviously meant for adults, I started making connections between things I was reading and unschooling.
I hope that someone else has read the book and can understand where I am going with this thought, but for those of you that haven't this is the jist: There are (according to the author) three levels of thinking: 1)How do I feel? 2)How do others see me? 3)How can I help others? The author thinks that "successful" people are at level three (mostly). I was thinking that I am spending too much time and energy helping my kids with the level one thinking and that their feelings are dominating them too much. I think I have finally figured out what my mom has been meaning when she says to me (about my siblings and I), "I just didn't pay so much attention to you (I think she means our emotions) when you were kids." I think we just moved through and past our emotions without them being such a HUGE deal. Don't get me wrong, my mom and I are very emotional people, but I guess that the moments where my emotions would overtake me were weekly at the MOST. My
kids are melting down multiple times each day and it seems to be getting worse not better.
I was pleased with how I handled this situation: This morning my 5 yo was so upset (think tantrum) because my husband was taking my 3yo fishing. He really wanted to be with his daddy and we tried to come to a compromise, but he was irrational (he did not want to go fishing). Finally, my husband left and instead of doing my usual "talk it out" (think feelings talk), I walked him to the car. All the while he was saying no, I don't want to go anywhere, but he was gently holding my hand and coming along. He calmed down in the car. We went to get some lunch and then stopped at the store and bought some treats. When we got back to the car he said, "I feel so much better now" (he hadn't even eaten yet). And on the way home we talked about his daddy needing his "love bucket" filled and how my son felt jealous. These were all things that he brought up. When he got home he wanted to wrap a gift (some of the treats that we got) for his daddy and draw him
a picture. I think that this scenario was much better than others because I helped him move past the initial feelings, forget about it, and then revisit the feelings later. I want to continue in this direction with him. I don't want to discount his feelings, I just want to help him to not allow feelings to overtake him. My younger son is the same way with feelings, but he seems to overreact with anger while the older son overreacts with a "poor me" attitude.
I guess that I am worried that I am "making them more emotional" and not doing the right things to help them "snap out of it" so that they can see things more realistically. Any thoughts or ideas would be helpful.
Jeanette
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ren Allen
!~I think we can be more tuned in and work to understand *what* "sends
them off."
There's often a pattern.~~
That's another "it depends" thing too. I think with most human beings
there ARE patterns. I have a child that in the past, would totally
lose it over things we could NOT predict, regardless of how hard we
tried to be proactive. Then there are times when I think he IS going
to have a harder time (like at the conference this last week) and he
does AMAZINGLY well! I worried, but he really did just fine. We had a
couple of rough days afterwards while he decompressed but even the
decompression was pretty mellow compared to other times.
It's hard if you have a child that is unpredictable. You beat yourself
up sometimes, trying to figure out how to better support them and in
the end I decided I may never totally understand but we keep trying
and we are proactive when there are ways we DO understand.
We know that getting some large motor movements into the day helps,
readily available snacks and food, moments of re-connecting
physically, massage and ANY kind of water play. That's probably why he
did so well at the conference actually...he was in the pool all
weekend!~:)
We keep learning, he keeps growing and it keeps getting better. People
have even commented on how much he's changed just in the last year.
There have been times when melt-downs happened over the simplest of
things, things we could not predict and events that are so every-day
for most people but would send him over the edge (getting bumped
accidentally, being told "no" about anything, even if it was done in a
way that respected his rights...ie; "let's throw the rocks over here
so it doesn't hit anyone" could trigger something HUGE, and so on...)
Parents SHOULD be aware and in-tune with what supports their child
best. Every child deserves that. Parents that ARE being very aware and
still have really intense situations should not beat themselves up
though. You keep learning and growing right along with them.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
them off."
There's often a pattern.~~
That's another "it depends" thing too. I think with most human beings
there ARE patterns. I have a child that in the past, would totally
lose it over things we could NOT predict, regardless of how hard we
tried to be proactive. Then there are times when I think he IS going
to have a harder time (like at the conference this last week) and he
does AMAZINGLY well! I worried, but he really did just fine. We had a
couple of rough days afterwards while he decompressed but even the
decompression was pretty mellow compared to other times.
It's hard if you have a child that is unpredictable. You beat yourself
up sometimes, trying to figure out how to better support them and in
the end I decided I may never totally understand but we keep trying
and we are proactive when there are ways we DO understand.
We know that getting some large motor movements into the day helps,
readily available snacks and food, moments of re-connecting
physically, massage and ANY kind of water play. That's probably why he
did so well at the conference actually...he was in the pool all
weekend!~:)
We keep learning, he keeps growing and it keeps getting better. People
have even commented on how much he's changed just in the last year.
There have been times when melt-downs happened over the simplest of
things, things we could not predict and events that are so every-day
for most people but would send him over the edge (getting bumped
accidentally, being told "no" about anything, even if it was done in a
way that respected his rights...ie; "let's throw the rocks over here
so it doesn't hit anyone" could trigger something HUGE, and so on...)
Parents SHOULD be aware and in-tune with what supports their child
best. Every child deserves that. Parents that ARE being very aware and
still have really intense situations should not beat themselves up
though. You keep learning and growing right along with them.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: Jeanette Crichton <jeanettec_99@...>
This is strange to reply to my own post, but I had to add something
that has
brought tears to my eyes and has helped me to see my children in a
different
light. I found an article on over excitability. The article happens
to be on a
gifted children website (they say that over excitability is common in
gifted
children, but that it can occur even if the child is not
gifted-whatever that
means) and it describes both of my boys to a tee! I feel so much
better knowing
that there are other parents that deal with what I deal with. I LOVE
most
aspects of my children's excitability because it brings soooo much joy
to them,
to me, to all who know them. However, it has really been hard to deal
with the
times that they can't set their excitability aside out of respect for
others.
It's like when it's turned on there is no adjusting it. This is what
I'm
struggling with and need some input. Here is the link:
http://www.sengifted.org/articles_social/Lind_OverexcitabilityAndTheGifted.shtml
-=-=-
Here I go again---raining on parades....
I think it makes parents feel good to think that their "excitable" or
"sensitive" child is "gifted." Like there's some plus to having to deal
with and put up with such behavior.
What if your child were excitable and sensitive---and dumb as dirt?
Would his behaviors be less tolerable?
He Is Who He Is. Embrace it and enjoy it.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
From: Jeanette Crichton <jeanettec_99@...>
This is strange to reply to my own post, but I had to add something
that has
brought tears to my eyes and has helped me to see my children in a
different
light. I found an article on over excitability. The article happens
to be on a
gifted children website (they say that over excitability is common in
gifted
children, but that it can occur even if the child is not
gifted-whatever that
means) and it describes both of my boys to a tee! I feel so much
better knowing
that there are other parents that deal with what I deal with. I LOVE
most
aspects of my children's excitability because it brings soooo much joy
to them,
to me, to all who know them. However, it has really been hard to deal
with the
times that they can't set their excitability aside out of respect for
others.
It's like when it's turned on there is no adjusting it. This is what
I'm
struggling with and need some input. Here is the link:
http://www.sengifted.org/articles_social/Lind_OverexcitabilityAndTheGifted.shtml
-=-=-
Here I go again---raining on parades....
I think it makes parents feel good to think that their "excitable" or
"sensitive" child is "gifted." Like there's some plus to having to deal
with and put up with such behavior.
What if your child were excitable and sensitive---and dumb as dirt?
Would his behaviors be less tolerable?
He Is Who He Is. Embrace it and enjoy it.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
Ren Allen
~~What if your child were excitable and sensitive---and dumb as dirt?
Would his behaviors be less tolerable?~~
Exactly.
I absolutely can't STAND the "gifted" label. I think I despise it even
more than "learning disabled". argh.
BUT, if it helps some parents reframe their child's behaviors in a
positive light, then GREAT.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Would his behaviors be less tolerable?~~
Exactly.
I absolutely can't STAND the "gifted" label. I think I despise it even
more than "learning disabled". argh.
BUT, if it helps some parents reframe their child's behaviors in a
positive light, then GREAT.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Michelle Thedaker
I totally agree, Ren. My older kiddo is often unpredictable, and I'm still
working to STOP beating myself up over it. No matter how much I work to
help smooth his path, bumps that I would NEVER imagine could be an issue ARE
an issue. Maybe only once, but it does happen. And as you said, situations
that you are SURE will precipitate a overstimulated meltdown.don't. I am
boggled a good deal of the time with my son, but am learning to release my
anxiety. He is who he is, and I will love and support him the best I can.
He gets more skilled at navigating this world, and I get more skilled at
understanding him - or at least accepting him when understanding hasn't yet
formed. I figure it's okay if I don't always "get" him, but I can
definitely ALWAYS love and accept him, and hope that is enough.
Shell & Da Boys
Drew, 8.5 and Josh, 4.5
www.thedaker.blogspot.com
"If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you
love, you have to find the courage to live it." John Irving
_____
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Ren Allen
Sent: Sunday, June 01, 2008 1:13 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics]Emotions and feelings was Wanting to be
radical, lol.
!~I think we can be more tuned in and work to understand *what* "sends
them off."
There's often a pattern.~~
That's another "it depends" thing too. I think with most human beings
there ARE patterns. I have a child that in the past, would totally
lose it over things we could NOT predict, regardless of how hard we
tried to be proactive. Then there are times when I think he IS going
to have a harder time (like at the conference this last week) and he
does AMAZINGLY well! I worried, but he really did just fine. We had a
couple of rough days afterwards while he decompressed but even the
decompression was pretty mellow compared to other times.
It's hard if you have a child that is unpredictable. You beat yourself
up sometimes, trying to figure out how to better support them and in
the end I decided I may never totally understand but we keep trying
and we are proactive when there are ways we DO understand.
We know that getting some large motor movements into the day helps,
readily available snacks and food, moments of re-connecting
physically, massage and ANY kind of water play. That's probably why he
did so well at the conference actually...he was in the pool all
weekend!~:)
We keep learning, he keeps growing and it keeps getting better. People
have even commented on how much he's changed just in the last year.
There have been times when melt-downs happened over the simplest of
things, things we could not predict and events that are so every-day
for most people but would send him over the edge (getting bumped
accidentally, being told "no" about anything, even if it was done in a
way that respected his rights...ie; "let's throw the rocks over here
so it doesn't hit anyone" could trigger something HUGE, and so on...)
Parents SHOULD be aware and in-tune with what supports their child
best. Every child deserves that. Parents that ARE being very aware and
still have really intense situations should not beat themselves up
though. You keep learning and growing right along with them.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
working to STOP beating myself up over it. No matter how much I work to
help smooth his path, bumps that I would NEVER imagine could be an issue ARE
an issue. Maybe only once, but it does happen. And as you said, situations
that you are SURE will precipitate a overstimulated meltdown.don't. I am
boggled a good deal of the time with my son, but am learning to release my
anxiety. He is who he is, and I will love and support him the best I can.
He gets more skilled at navigating this world, and I get more skilled at
understanding him - or at least accepting him when understanding hasn't yet
formed. I figure it's okay if I don't always "get" him, but I can
definitely ALWAYS love and accept him, and hope that is enough.
Shell & Da Boys
Drew, 8.5 and Josh, 4.5
www.thedaker.blogspot.com
"If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you
love, you have to find the courage to live it." John Irving
_____
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Ren Allen
Sent: Sunday, June 01, 2008 1:13 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics]Emotions and feelings was Wanting to be
radical, lol.
!~I think we can be more tuned in and work to understand *what* "sends
them off."
There's often a pattern.~~
That's another "it depends" thing too. I think with most human beings
there ARE patterns. I have a child that in the past, would totally
lose it over things we could NOT predict, regardless of how hard we
tried to be proactive. Then there are times when I think he IS going
to have a harder time (like at the conference this last week) and he
does AMAZINGLY well! I worried, but he really did just fine. We had a
couple of rough days afterwards while he decompressed but even the
decompression was pretty mellow compared to other times.
It's hard if you have a child that is unpredictable. You beat yourself
up sometimes, trying to figure out how to better support them and in
the end I decided I may never totally understand but we keep trying
and we are proactive when there are ways we DO understand.
We know that getting some large motor movements into the day helps,
readily available snacks and food, moments of re-connecting
physically, massage and ANY kind of water play. That's probably why he
did so well at the conference actually...he was in the pool all
weekend!~:)
We keep learning, he keeps growing and it keeps getting better. People
have even commented on how much he's changed just in the last year.
There have been times when melt-downs happened over the simplest of
things, things we could not predict and events that are so every-day
for most people but would send him over the edge (getting bumped
accidentally, being told "no" about anything, even if it was done in a
way that respected his rights...ie; "let's throw the rocks over here
so it doesn't hit anyone" could trigger something HUGE, and so on...)
Parents SHOULD be aware and in-tune with what supports their child
best. Every child deserves that. Parents that ARE being very aware and
still have really intense situations should not beat themselves up
though. You keep learning and growing right along with them.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Gillian Goddard
There is a school in Trinidad that has a sign painted on its wall and
it says:
All children are gifted. Some just open their gifts at a different
time.
Gillian
it says:
All children are gifted. Some just open their gifts at a different
time.
Gillian
Jeanette Crichton
<<<<<< Here I go again---raining on parades....
I think it makes parents feel good to think that their "excitable" or
"sensitive" child is "gifted." Like there's some plus to having to deal
with and put up with such behavior.
What if your child were excitable and sensitive--- and dumb as dirt?
Would his behaviors be less tolerable?
He Is Who He Is. Embrace it and enjoy it.>>>>>
I understand what you are saying Kelly. These are all labels that aren't necessarily good for parents or children. You didn't rain on my parade because I wasn't parading a "gifted" label for my children. ALL children CAN be over excitable (which is also what the article says) not just gifted children. I have always known that my kids are over excitable and for the most part this has been a very positive trait in their lives. I started looking for more tools to help them since their excitability has started to affect their relationships with others. I have been reading lots of different books for ideas ("The Explosive Child" and others). I have gotten ideas from many of these books, but there were specific things in this article that made so much sense to me. For example:
"Over excitabilities are inborn intensities indicating a heightened ability to respond to stimuli." (I thought, "Oh, so I haven't CAUSED them to be over excitable, but all of the stimuli that I provide (intentionally or not), they are responding to them at a heightened level.")
"One who manifests several forms of over excitability, sees reality in a different, stronger and more multi sided manner." (I thought, "Oh, so this might be why my oldest son reacts so strongly to something that we think is so minor-he actually sees more sides to a problem." I need to help him talk out all of the angles that he sees in his head. This can also be a real positive for him-he makes connections that I would have NEVER thought of. It blows us all away sometimes.)
Being emotionally tense causes impulsiveness. (I thought, "Oh, so my youngest sons hitting issue isn't really a hitting issue, it's an issue of being emotionally tense and I need to help him release his tension.)
Children high in Emotional OE� are often accused of "overreacting." (My husband needed to read THIS!)
The best part of the article for me was to see that what I thought about my children already and what I was doing already was on the right path for them. I felt the same way when I stumbled on attachment parenting and unschooling. It was like a sigh of relief and a renewed confidence. I remember stumbling upon attachment parenting and thinking, "you mean other people sleep with their kids? other people like their kids and want to be around them? there are other people dealing with the same issues as me?" And when I first heard of unschooling I remember thinking, "what, this really exists? you mean there are other people doing what I have fantasized about? there are actually people that trust their kids?" And when I stumbled upon RU, I thought, "there are people that don't try to control their kids? I'm not the only one that thinks that joy is more important than housework and forcing your kids to do things? there are other people that live
their lives according to what they are interested in at the time?" And when I stumbled on this article, I thought, "so I haven't just made this up? there are other people dealing with what I'm dealing with? it's not my fault that my kids are having trouble with their relationships? there are actually things that I can do better?" When Ren said in an earlier post that this is a HUGE topic, too much for this list, I started looking for more ideas. I do embrace and enjoy who my children are, but again, I am trying to help them with their relationships with others.
I am sure Kelly that you were picking on the "gifted" label, and I can't say that I blame you. This label and others are not good for children if the parent is not in touch with their child and allows this label to define the child. I am not using "over excitability" to define my children, but rather to identify a trait in my children that I want to help them use as a strength.
Jeanette
.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I think it makes parents feel good to think that their "excitable" or
"sensitive" child is "gifted." Like there's some plus to having to deal
with and put up with such behavior.
What if your child were excitable and sensitive--- and dumb as dirt?
Would his behaviors be less tolerable?
He Is Who He Is. Embrace it and enjoy it.>>>>>
I understand what you are saying Kelly. These are all labels that aren't necessarily good for parents or children. You didn't rain on my parade because I wasn't parading a "gifted" label for my children. ALL children CAN be over excitable (which is also what the article says) not just gifted children. I have always known that my kids are over excitable and for the most part this has been a very positive trait in their lives. I started looking for more tools to help them since their excitability has started to affect their relationships with others. I have been reading lots of different books for ideas ("The Explosive Child" and others). I have gotten ideas from many of these books, but there were specific things in this article that made so much sense to me. For example:
"Over excitabilities are inborn intensities indicating a heightened ability to respond to stimuli." (I thought, "Oh, so I haven't CAUSED them to be over excitable, but all of the stimuli that I provide (intentionally or not), they are responding to them at a heightened level.")
"One who manifests several forms of over excitability, sees reality in a different, stronger and more multi sided manner." (I thought, "Oh, so this might be why my oldest son reacts so strongly to something that we think is so minor-he actually sees more sides to a problem." I need to help him talk out all of the angles that he sees in his head. This can also be a real positive for him-he makes connections that I would have NEVER thought of. It blows us all away sometimes.)
Being emotionally tense causes impulsiveness. (I thought, "Oh, so my youngest sons hitting issue isn't really a hitting issue, it's an issue of being emotionally tense and I need to help him release his tension.)
Children high in Emotional OE� are often accused of "overreacting." (My husband needed to read THIS!)
The best part of the article for me was to see that what I thought about my children already and what I was doing already was on the right path for them. I felt the same way when I stumbled on attachment parenting and unschooling. It was like a sigh of relief and a renewed confidence. I remember stumbling upon attachment parenting and thinking, "you mean other people sleep with their kids? other people like their kids and want to be around them? there are other people dealing with the same issues as me?" And when I first heard of unschooling I remember thinking, "what, this really exists? you mean there are other people doing what I have fantasized about? there are actually people that trust their kids?" And when I stumbled upon RU, I thought, "there are people that don't try to control their kids? I'm not the only one that thinks that joy is more important than housework and forcing your kids to do things? there are other people that live
their lives according to what they are interested in at the time?" And when I stumbled on this article, I thought, "so I haven't just made this up? there are other people dealing with what I'm dealing with? it's not my fault that my kids are having trouble with their relationships? there are actually things that I can do better?" When Ren said in an earlier post that this is a HUGE topic, too much for this list, I started looking for more ideas. I do embrace and enjoy who my children are, but again, I am trying to help them with their relationships with others.
I am sure Kelly that you were picking on the "gifted" label, and I can't say that I blame you. This label and others are not good for children if the parent is not in touch with their child and allows this label to define the child. I am not using "over excitability" to define my children, but rather to identify a trait in my children that I want to help them use as a strength.
Jeanette
.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
keetry
> There have been times when melt-downs happened over the simplest ofa
> things, <snip> events that are so every-day
> for most people but would send him over the edge (getting bumped
> accidentally, being told "no" about anything, even if it was done in
> way that respected his rights...ie; "let's throw the rocks over hereThis describes my middle son to a T. He's always been like this. As he
> so it doesn't hit anyone" could trigger something HUGE, and so on...)
grows and matures he is learning to express himself in ways other than
screaming, which is his thing to do. It's slow going, though. At 4
years old, he doesn't scream as much anymore. He does still run away
from the toilet being flushed and hide sometimes when people he knows
well talk to him. He does scream about his baby brother touching him
or his things a lot.
I had a pediatrician once tell me he had SID or SPD (all because he
would scream every time I wiped his butt after a poop) and referred us
to OT. I declined the OT because I don't see it as a problem that
needs to be fixed or worked on by "exerpts". I just see it as part of
his personality and that's OK. The funny thing is that, even with all
that, I find him much easier than my oldest son who was not like that
at all. My oldest was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 5 or 6. All of
that was wrt to school. So, I figure if my middle son doesn't go to
school he won't have problems that need OT like school kids would.
My husband has a hard time with it. He doesn't understand what the bid
deal is. Really, neither do I, but I respect that it is a big deal for
my son. If it matters to him, it matters to me. That's what I
continually tell my husband. We don't have to understand why.
Alysia
keetry
> I absolutely can't STAND the "gifted" label. I think I despise iteven
> more than "learning disabled". argh.I had a friend once who said to me that no one's child is normal or
average anymore. Every child is either gifted or disabled.
Alysia
Judy R
Jeez, is that ever the truth - and what good does that do us, eh?
----- Original Message -----
From: keetry
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, June 02, 2008 9:47 AM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics]Emotions and feelings was Wanting to be radical, lol.
> I absolutely can't STAND the "gifted" label. I think I despise it
even
> more than "learning disabled". argh.
I had a friend once who said to me that no one's child is normal or
average anymore. Every child is either gifted or disabled.
Alysia
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: keetry <keetry@...>
I had a friend once who said to me that no one's child is normal or
average anymore. Every child is either gifted or disabled.
-=-=-=-=-
<snort>
And then there are mine: just PERFECT! <g>
Yours are too! <bwg>
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
From: keetry <keetry@...>
> I absolutely can't STAND the "gifted" label. I think I despise iteven more than "learning disabled". argh.
I had a friend once who said to me that no one's child is normal or
average anymore. Every child is either gifted or disabled.
-=-=-=-=-
<snort>
And then there are mine: just PERFECT! <g>
Yours are too! <bwg>
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: Jeanette Crichton <jeanettec_99@...>
I am sure Kelly that you were picking on the "gifted" label, and I
can't say
that I blame you. This label and others are not good for children if
the parent
is not in touch with their child and allows this label to define the
child. I
am not using "over excitability" to define my children, but rather to
identify a
trait in my children that I want to help them use as a strength.
-=-=-=-
Yeah---I was arguing against the "gifted" crap.
It seemed that you were really happy to have found the site---and that
your kids might be "gifted." I'm glad it's not that! <g>
It's just that so many people *want* to make that kind of correlation.
It seems it might make all the "trouble" worth it in some way.
My best bud is a principal at a school for kids with learning
differences. A lot (if not all!) of the parents there *need* to know
that their child is "special" (not that each and every child is
*not*!)---and that all the problems and difficulties they struggle
through are worth it because their child is "gifted"---unlike all the
Un-gifted and Un-sensitive kids out there. It makes them feel better
about what they have to go through every day. They can learn to
tolerate it because their child has a special gift.
If that's what it takes to make them feel better about their child,
great. But just accepting him As He Is is so much better for their
child and for their relationship with that child.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
From: Jeanette Crichton <jeanettec_99@...>
I am sure Kelly that you were picking on the "gifted" label, and I
can't say
that I blame you. This label and others are not good for children if
the parent
is not in touch with their child and allows this label to define the
child. I
am not using "over excitability" to define my children, but rather to
identify a
trait in my children that I want to help them use as a strength.
-=-=-=-
Yeah---I was arguing against the "gifted" crap.
It seemed that you were really happy to have found the site---and that
your kids might be "gifted." I'm glad it's not that! <g>
It's just that so many people *want* to make that kind of correlation.
It seems it might make all the "trouble" worth it in some way.
My best bud is a principal at a school for kids with learning
differences. A lot (if not all!) of the parents there *need* to know
that their child is "special" (not that each and every child is
*not*!)---and that all the problems and difficulties they struggle
through are worth it because their child is "gifted"---unlike all the
Un-gifted and Un-sensitive kids out there. It makes them feel better
about what they have to go through every day. They can learn to
tolerate it because their child has a special gift.
If that's what it takes to make them feel better about their child,
great. But just accepting him As He Is is so much better for their
child and for their relationship with that child.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
Melissa Gray
That's probably my number one pet peeve about hanging out with
traditional school-at-homers. All the talk about how gifted their
child is, how advanced, doing calculus in kindergarten, how blah blah
blah. When they try to drag me into it, I gladly tell them that my
kids are totally normal. Of course, Bre is usually behind me flapping
and saying "Did she broke the shovel?" over and over (what an
interesting vacation we just had, I must say), so that's kind of an
added bonus. bwahahahaha! I happen to think my kids are people, and
right where they need to be.
Melissa
Mom to Joshua, Breanna, Emily, Rachel, Samuel, Daniel and Avari
Wife to Zane
blog me at
http://startlinglives.blogspot.com/
http://startlinglives365.blogspot.com
traditional school-at-homers. All the talk about how gifted their
child is, how advanced, doing calculus in kindergarten, how blah blah
blah. When they try to drag me into it, I gladly tell them that my
kids are totally normal. Of course, Bre is usually behind me flapping
and saying "Did she broke the shovel?" over and over (what an
interesting vacation we just had, I must say), so that's kind of an
added bonus. bwahahahaha! I happen to think my kids are people, and
right where they need to be.
Melissa
Mom to Joshua, Breanna, Emily, Rachel, Samuel, Daniel and Avari
Wife to Zane
blog me at
http://startlinglives.blogspot.com/
http://startlinglives365.blogspot.com
On Jun 2, 2008, at 9:15 AM, kbcdlovejo@... wrote:
> -----Original Message-----
> From: keetry <keetry@...>
>
> > I absolutely can't STAND the "gifted" label. I think I despise it
> even more than "learning disabled". argh.
>
> I had a friend once who said to me that no one's child is normal or
> average anymore. Every child is either gifted or disabled.
>
> -=-=-=-=-
>
> <snort>
>
> And then there are mine: just PERFECT! <g>
>
> Yours are too! <bwg>
>
> ~Kelly
>
> Kelly Lovejoy
> Conference Coordinator
> Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
> http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pamela Sorooshian
On Jun 2, 2008, at 6:33 AM, Jeanette Crichton wrote:
"Over" as a prefix has the meaning of "too much."
There is a connotation that being "over" something needs fixing. Like
they need an "excitability-reduction program" just like over-weight
people need a weight-reduction program.
I have excitable children. I have very excitable children. I have
over-excitable children.
Do you see the difference in how it comes across?
How we THINK - the words we use in our own heads - really matter.
Even the word, "excitable," is being used in a sort of scientific
label technical sort of way, rather than in the usual meaning of
"getting excited about something." It is a term they've chosen to
encompass a set of real personality characteristics such as intensity,
sensitivity, awareness. It is, as they've defined it, a "syndrome."
I'm not saying the article isn't super useful. I also read it years
ago, and appreciated it, and got a lot of good thinking mileage out of
it. It helped me understand my own kids better, too. I don't disregard
useful stuff just because it uses labels, but I do reject the use of
those labels on my own children. I do NOT have an "explosive child" -
I have my own kids and they have labels I gave them - their real names
- Roxana, Roya, Rosie. The things I read in "The Explosive Child" were
useful because some of them were good ideas for my own real family.
But lots wasn't applicable and labeling one or more of my kids as
"explosive" would have done real harm. Even having the book around
where my kids could see it DID do some harm. Roxana immediately
assumed it was about her and that I thought of her as "The Explosive
Child." Not good. She is an extremely articulate person and she was
able to say, "It makes me feel like that's all you see me as." So I
got my comeuppance right there, from her." And, kids who ARE
especially sensitive are the very kids most likely to be hurt and
harmed by the labeling. It is something you have to consciously work
to avoid because that kind of labeling is insidious and ubiquitous in
today's parenting culture.
So - I'm saying NOT to adopt their terminology in describing your own
children - not even in your own head. It'll end up counterproductive.
Take the IDEAS from the articles and books, not the labels. Use the
ideas to respond to your own specific and particular children as they
are - not as "over-excitables." (Which sounds like something from "The
Incredibles." <G>)
-pam
> ALL children CAN be over excitable (which is also what the articleThen take off the "over" part and just say they are "excitable."
> says) not just gifted children. I have always known that my kids
> are over excitable and for the most part this has been a very
> positive trait in their lives.
"Over" as a prefix has the meaning of "too much."
There is a connotation that being "over" something needs fixing. Like
they need an "excitability-reduction program" just like over-weight
people need a weight-reduction program.
I have excitable children. I have very excitable children. I have
over-excitable children.
Do you see the difference in how it comes across?
How we THINK - the words we use in our own heads - really matter.
Even the word, "excitable," is being used in a sort of scientific
label technical sort of way, rather than in the usual meaning of
"getting excited about something." It is a term they've chosen to
encompass a set of real personality characteristics such as intensity,
sensitivity, awareness. It is, as they've defined it, a "syndrome."
I'm not saying the article isn't super useful. I also read it years
ago, and appreciated it, and got a lot of good thinking mileage out of
it. It helped me understand my own kids better, too. I don't disregard
useful stuff just because it uses labels, but I do reject the use of
those labels on my own children. I do NOT have an "explosive child" -
I have my own kids and they have labels I gave them - their real names
- Roxana, Roya, Rosie. The things I read in "The Explosive Child" were
useful because some of them were good ideas for my own real family.
But lots wasn't applicable and labeling one or more of my kids as
"explosive" would have done real harm. Even having the book around
where my kids could see it DID do some harm. Roxana immediately
assumed it was about her and that I thought of her as "The Explosive
Child." Not good. She is an extremely articulate person and she was
able to say, "It makes me feel like that's all you see me as." So I
got my comeuppance right there, from her." And, kids who ARE
especially sensitive are the very kids most likely to be hurt and
harmed by the labeling. It is something you have to consciously work
to avoid because that kind of labeling is insidious and ubiquitous in
today's parenting culture.
So - I'm saying NOT to adopt their terminology in describing your own
children - not even in your own head. It'll end up counterproductive.
Take the IDEAS from the articles and books, not the labels. Use the
ideas to respond to your own specific and particular children as they
are - not as "over-excitables." (Which sounds like something from "The
Incredibles." <G>)
-pam
swissarmy_wife
I read The Explosive Child even before I began unschooling. I
remember it helping through a great deal of behaviors (probably
brought on by a great deal of emotional pain). I also remember
reading it after he fell asleep or out of sight. I didn't want him to
feel badly or think I thought something was wrong with him. Every
time I saw it on the shelf I knew that he could see it too. I ended
up giving it away.
Sometimes, I wish authors of books would be more considerate with
their book titles. Then again, we may not know what the book is about
without the descriptive title.
remember it helping through a great deal of behaviors (probably
brought on by a great deal of emotional pain). I also remember
reading it after he fell asleep or out of sight. I didn't want him to
feel badly or think I thought something was wrong with him. Every
time I saw it on the shelf I knew that he could see it too. I ended
up giving it away.
Sometimes, I wish authors of books would be more considerate with
their book titles. Then again, we may not know what the book is about
without the descriptive title.
> The things I read in "The Explosive Child" were
> useful because some of them were good ideas for my own real family.
> But lots wasn't applicable and labeling one or more of my kids as
> "explosive" would have done real harm. Even having the book around
> where my kids could see it DID do some harm.
keetry
--- In [email protected], kbcdlovejo@... wrote:
children were either gifted or learning disabled.
Mine are perfect. :)
Alysia
>Yeah, that's what she meant. She was sick of everyone saying their
> I had a friend once who said to me that no one's child is normal or
> average anymore. Every child is either gifted or disabled.
>
> -=-=-=-=-
>
> <snort>
>
> And then there are mine: just PERFECT! <g>
>
> Yours are too! <bwg>
>
>
>
> ~Kelly
children were either gifted or learning disabled.
Mine are perfect. :)
Alysia
olearydeborah
--- In [email protected], Gillian Goddard
<gilliangoddard@...> wrote:
Reminds me of a cartoon my friend had on her frig. It showed a kid
trying to open a door by furiously pushing it. The door said "Pull."
Above the door it said "School for the Gifted."
Deb
Mom to Connor, 12
<gilliangoddard@...> wrote:
>Love that!
> There is a school in Trinidad that has a sign painted on its wall and
> it says:
>
> All children are gifted. Some just open their gifts at a different
> time.
>
> Gillian
>
Reminds me of a cartoon my friend had on her frig. It showed a kid
trying to open a door by furiously pushing it. The door said "Pull."
Above the door it said "School for the Gifted."
Deb
Mom to Connor, 12
carenkh
-=-=Even having the book around where my kids could see it DID do some
harm.=-=-
Yep - Seth saw the book on my shelf shortly after I got it. When I
told him it was not, in fact, about a child that can explode at will
(oh, the disappointment about that!), and what it was about... it
really hurt his feelings! I let him know this is but one, small aspect
of who he is, and that I was hoping the information in the book would
help me help him through his tough times. He understands, but asked me
to put the book elsewhere. It's under the bed now!
Caren
harm.=-=-
Yep - Seth saw the book on my shelf shortly after I got it. When I
told him it was not, in fact, about a child that can explode at will
(oh, the disappointment about that!), and what it was about... it
really hurt his feelings! I let him know this is but one, small aspect
of who he is, and that I was hoping the information in the book would
help me help him through his tough times. He understands, but asked me
to put the book elsewhere. It's under the bed now!
Caren