Karen

I totally blew up at dd tonight. The kids were all having a good
time together while dd played Jumpstart. Suddenly, she bites Logan's
finger, totally unprovoked. Then she laughed at him while he was
crying. OMG, I was so pissed off. In my mind, I am saying "focus on
the victim, focus on the victim" But at the same time, I kept
thinking about what I just witnessed and totally lost it. I got up
turned off her game and ordered her to her room. When she protested,
I told her if she didn't get up there, I was going to spank her. She
tried to tell me again what happened, and I told her it was bullshit,
and to get upstairs. I did everything that I have been working so
hard to change. She came back downstairs crying, and still in
authoritive mode, I ordered her back upstairs. She said that she
just wanted to tell Logan she was sorry. I started to come to my
senses, and said of course you can apologize. She told Logan she was
sorry, kissed him, and asked if he was okay. When I looked for her
next, she was gone. I went upstairs to talk to her because I
realized I had really blown it. I told her I was sorry for
everything I did. She then explained to me that it was a play bite
that was too hard on accident. She was laughing because she was
trying to cheer him up and get him to laugh also. After she told me
her version of events, it all made perfect sense. My kids play a
little rough sometimes and give bite kisses. They let each other
know when they get too rough. I have also seen them cheer each other
up by being silly and laughing. I feel like a big fat idoit. I
couldn't see past my perspective, and refused to give her a chance to
defend herself.

carenkh

Another "learning-take" for ya!

Opportunities for growth and change abound. You'll know if you need to
look deeper at any part of this - your beliefs about kids, how your
siblings treated you, etc. if it's ever time to do that. YAY! for
do-overs and reconnecting after screwups.

peace,
Caren

Kim Musolff

I'm so glad you wrote this! I've had episodes like this with my DS. It's
good to hear that others are out there making the same mistakes as I am!
Thank you!

Kim

On Fri, May 9, 2008 at 9:27 PM, Karen <kferris2@...> wrote:

> I totally blew up at dd tonight. The kids were all having a good
> time together while dd played Jumpstart. Suddenly, she bites Logan's
> finger, totally unprovoked. Then she laughed at him while he was
> crying. OMG, I was so pissed off. In my mind, I am saying "focus on
> the victim, focus on the victim" But at the same time, I kept
> thinking about what I just witnessed and totally lost it. I got up
> turned off her game and ordered her to her room. When she protested,
> I told her if she didn't get up there, I was going to spank her. She
> tried to tell me again what happened, and I told her it was bullshit,
> and to get upstairs. I did everything that I have been working so
> hard to change. She came back downstairs crying, and still in
> authoritive mode, I ordered her back upstairs. She said that she
> just wanted to tell Logan she was sorry. I started to come to my
> senses, and said of course you can apologize. She told Logan she was
> sorry, kissed him, and asked if he was okay. When I looked for her
> next, she was gone. I went upstairs to talk to her because I
> realized I had really blown it. I told her I was sorry for
> everything I did. She then explained to me that it was a play bite
> that was too hard on accident. She was laughing because she was
> trying to cheer him up and get him to laugh also. After she told me
> her version of events, it all made perfect sense. My kids play a
> little rough sometimes and give bite kisses. They let each other
> know when they get too rough. I have also seen them cheer each other
> up by being silly and laughing. I feel like a big fat idoit. I
> couldn't see past my perspective, and refused to give her a chance to
> defend herself.
>
>
>


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