Hi
janthonygatsby
Hi.
My name is James, and I have a six year-old nephew who, I believe,
would be better off if he were home schooled. He's been diagnosed
with ADHD (among other things) and he hasn't received any help from
the school district because he's functioning within their parameters.
It seems that a child has to utterly fail before he can get help
and that's a lot like giving the vaccine after someone gets polio.
Pretty senseless. So much for "No Child Left Behind" .
So, I guess I'm here to learn from you.
Beyond that, I'm trying to create a social networking site
specifically for children between the ages of 6 and 12 called "Just
Like Friends" (www.justlikefriends.com). I saw my eleven year-old
niece's MySpace page and I almost had a stroke! What would you like
to see in a kids or tweens social networking site (besides it being
heavily HEAVILY Monitored!)? I'd really like to know.
My name is James, and I have a six year-old nephew who, I believe,
would be better off if he were home schooled. He's been diagnosed
with ADHD (among other things) and he hasn't received any help from
the school district because he's functioning within their parameters.
It seems that a child has to utterly fail before he can get help
and that's a lot like giving the vaccine after someone gets polio.
Pretty senseless. So much for "No Child Left Behind" .
So, I guess I'm here to learn from you.
Beyond that, I'm trying to create a social networking site
specifically for children between the ages of 6 and 12 called "Just
Like Friends" (www.justlikefriends.com). I saw my eleven year-old
niece's MySpace page and I almost had a stroke! What would you like
to see in a kids or tweens social networking site (besides it being
heavily HEAVILY Monitored!)? I'd really like to know.
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: janthonygatsby <janthonygatsby@...>
My name is James, and I have a six year-old nephew who, I believe,
would be better off if he were home schooled. He's been diagnosed
with ADHD (among other things) and he hasn't received any help from
the school district because he's functioning within their parameters.
It seems that a child has to utterly fail before he can get help –
and that's a lot like giving the vaccine after someone gets polio.
Pretty senseless. So much for "No Child Left Behind"….
-=-=-=-=-
Well, first I would argue that he probably has no problems focussing on
something that interests him. He probably happily focusses for long,
long periods on video games or some other interest. So it's probably
just "school-itis" that he's suffering from. As soon as he's away from
that environment, my guess is that a lot of his "symptoms" will
disappear.
Keep in mind, too, that out of school, there's no one to "be behind" or
"ahead" of---he'll just *be* exactly where he IS.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
So, I guess I'm here to learn from you.
Beyond that, I'm trying to create a social networking site
specifically for children between the ages of 6 and 12 called "Just
Like Friends" (www.justlikefriends.com). I saw my eleven year-old
niece's MySpace page and I almost had a stroke! What would you like
to see in a kids or tweens social networking site (besides it being
heavily…HEAVILY Monitored!)? I'd really like to know.
-=-=-=-=-
Well, you're assuming I would want it heavily monitored. I would not. I
trust my boys to enjoy the internet (and TV and radio and CDs and DVDs
and games and...) withOUT parental controls. They both share concerns
with me, and I think monitoring things kids frequent only shows a lack
of trust and respect on the part of the adults.
We already have several networking sites---myspace and facebook are
already popular and active---as well as unschooling yahoogroups that
many kids frequent.
So...I don't know that *this* is your target audience for such a site.
Maybe try the school-at-homers (doh!) or the other very conservative,
restrictive parenting elists.
Google "parental controls tweens"---I bet you'd have lots of hits. This
is one of the VERY few lists which doesn't condone "heavily monitored"
sites.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
From: janthonygatsby <janthonygatsby@...>
My name is James, and I have a six year-old nephew who, I believe,
would be better off if he were home schooled. He's been diagnosed
with ADHD (among other things) and he hasn't received any help from
the school district because he's functioning within their parameters.
It seems that a child has to utterly fail before he can get help –
and that's a lot like giving the vaccine after someone gets polio.
Pretty senseless. So much for "No Child Left Behind"….
-=-=-=-=-
Well, first I would argue that he probably has no problems focussing on
something that interests him. He probably happily focusses for long,
long periods on video games or some other interest. So it's probably
just "school-itis" that he's suffering from. As soon as he's away from
that environment, my guess is that a lot of his "symptoms" will
disappear.
Keep in mind, too, that out of school, there's no one to "be behind" or
"ahead" of---he'll just *be* exactly where he IS.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
So, I guess I'm here to learn from you.
Beyond that, I'm trying to create a social networking site
specifically for children between the ages of 6 and 12 called "Just
Like Friends" (www.justlikefriends.com). I saw my eleven year-old
niece's MySpace page and I almost had a stroke! What would you like
to see in a kids or tweens social networking site (besides it being
heavily…HEAVILY Monitored!)? I'd really like to know.
-=-=-=-=-
Well, you're assuming I would want it heavily monitored. I would not. I
trust my boys to enjoy the internet (and TV and radio and CDs and DVDs
and games and...) withOUT parental controls. They both share concerns
with me, and I think monitoring things kids frequent only shows a lack
of trust and respect on the part of the adults.
We already have several networking sites---myspace and facebook are
already popular and active---as well as unschooling yahoogroups that
many kids frequent.
So...I don't know that *this* is your target audience for such a site.
Maybe try the school-at-homers (doh!) or the other very conservative,
restrictive parenting elists.
Google "parental controls tweens"---I bet you'd have lots of hits. This
is one of the VERY few lists which doesn't condone "heavily monitored"
sites.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
Heather
I know I have said it before but my 16 yr old nephew did alot better
when he was taken out of school. He was still doing school through
the public system, but his teacher came to him. He really did better.
He got in less fights while at home due to it. So, I would say taking
a child out like that would help a ton. He had alot of issues (ADHD,
Bi-polar, family problems, and more).
My son would easily be an ADHD label too. You should see him at
soccer. He doesn't want to play soccer for 1 hour and I don't blame
him. The coach is very nice and since he is just shy of 4, no one
expects much more. Right now he would rather run around like an
airplane, sit with me, etc. At this age no one minds much but I see
possible problems in the future. I don't want him forced into
anything. I consider his strong will and playfulness a good thing.
Those are things I want perserved.
Kids like that/this are often VERY smart! It may not show up as
following directions or doing well on school tests, but I have
learned alot through kids like this. Great inspirations they are!
As far as "real" ADHD I have seen real improvements when a child's
diet and supplements (fish/flax oil) are monitored/adjusted- mostly
by offering healthier items. I have even seen changes in my own son.
He loves cod liver oil and when I remember to offer it to him, he is
calmer, though his calm might be someone else's wild :) He even asks
for other supplements that studies show kids like that might need and
he chews them in his mouth! I have never forced any of them on him. I
still am amazed.
But I am still quilty of wishing he was less crazy :) but only
because I haven't learned how to deal with the rest of the world. I
know if I lived alone with him I wouldn't know what normal was. I
would have nothing to compare him to so it is my thinking that needs
to change, not him.
when he was taken out of school. He was still doing school through
the public system, but his teacher came to him. He really did better.
He got in less fights while at home due to it. So, I would say taking
a child out like that would help a ton. He had alot of issues (ADHD,
Bi-polar, family problems, and more).
My son would easily be an ADHD label too. You should see him at
soccer. He doesn't want to play soccer for 1 hour and I don't blame
him. The coach is very nice and since he is just shy of 4, no one
expects much more. Right now he would rather run around like an
airplane, sit with me, etc. At this age no one minds much but I see
possible problems in the future. I don't want him forced into
anything. I consider his strong will and playfulness a good thing.
Those are things I want perserved.
Kids like that/this are often VERY smart! It may not show up as
following directions or doing well on school tests, but I have
learned alot through kids like this. Great inspirations they are!
As far as "real" ADHD I have seen real improvements when a child's
diet and supplements (fish/flax oil) are monitored/adjusted- mostly
by offering healthier items. I have even seen changes in my own son.
He loves cod liver oil and when I remember to offer it to him, he is
calmer, though his calm might be someone else's wild :) He even asks
for other supplements that studies show kids like that might need and
he chews them in his mouth! I have never forced any of them on him. I
still am amazed.
But I am still quilty of wishing he was less crazy :) but only
because I haven't learned how to deal with the rest of the world. I
know if I lived alone with him I wouldn't know what normal was. I
would have nothing to compare him to so it is my thinking that needs
to change, not him.
Debra Rossing
>My name is James, and I have a six year-old nephew who, I believe,would be better off if he were home schooled
It might be helpful if we knew a bit more of how much "influence" is
involved here - are you his guardian? Are his parents willing to
consider homeschooling (if you're not his guardian)? If they both work,
are you able to help them with the child care issues that arise from not
using the government childcare facility known as school? Any/all of
these scenarios CAN work out (unless his parents aren't willing to
consider homeschooling at all).
I believe that had we enrolled DS in school, he would've been diagnosed
and medicated pretty quickly - he thinks best when he's bouncing around
the room and recently said that while he can read just fine, he doesn't
like to because it's just sitting still looking at letters on the page.
He's 110% energy all the time (he's even an 'energetic' sleeper and I've
had the bruises to prove it lol). At the same time, he can focus
intently on designing StarCraft maps in detail for hours. He's even
figured out how to do things in the map editor (both in StarCraft and
the non-online Warcraft games) that DH, a veteran gamer, didn't know.
Being free is his best option.
Deb
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Debra Rossing
>You should see him at soccer. He doesn't want to play soccer for 1 hourand I don't blame him
DS was interested in soccer at around 6 years old. The town had a one
week soccer camp program, 2 hrs per day, that looked like a good fit. DS
LOVED IT! The next year, he made sure I signed him up as soon as
possible for the camp. However, the age bracket was different - 7 yr
olds were grouped with the 8-9 yr olds (the 6 yr olds were with the 4
and 5s). And, they went for 3 hours instead of two. Plus, rather than it
being mostly short fun ball-related games (with lots of breaks and jokes
and silly stuff), it was heavier on skill drills and actual 'soccer'
practice. DS tried it for a day and decided he really didn't like it. We
asked that he go back for the next day to see if it changed (first days
can sometimes be rather stressful in general, getting organized and
all). He decided that day that he didn't like the organized stuff BUT he
hit it off with another kid who also didn't want to do the drill stuff.
So, the two of them would meet up each morning and take their soccer
balls (each participant got their own ball as part of the program) and
go find a spot off to the side to run and play. He liked doing that and
gladly got up each morning to go play with a new friend. [parenthetical
note: that second year, we were asked to house one of the coaches - the
'import' coaches from the UK and they travel around the US all summer
running these camps. We got the cost of the program refunded for
providing a bed, shower, and some meals - plus we got a chance to meet
someone from Wales!] The following year he was uninterested so we didn't
sign up. Last summer, we signed up for a beginning golf lesson program,
once per week for 4 weeks. He loved it! It was maybe 5-15 minutes of
instruction on the various clubs (how to hold a driver, lining up the
ball, swing and follow through, etc) with the other 45 minutes of the
class time on the driving range hitting golfballs while the instructor
walked around providing tips and encouragement. We've already signed up
for that one again.
Deb
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are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify
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Joyce Fetteroll
On May 5, 2008, at 11:32 AM, janthonygatsby wrote:
Their moms have found a common connection because of unschooling, so
why shouldn't they?
But the reason the moms get along is because unschooling is a common
interest. For unschooling kids, unschooling is a life style, not an
interest.
Same goes with ages. Age is not an interest ;-) Just because kids are
between 6 and 12 doesn't mean they'll have anything in common.
What kids want, just as adults want, are to find people with
compatible personalities and similar interests. (Too simplified but a
good starting point for people trying to find friends for their kids.)
she's 11 or because she's in school and disconnected from her family?
It's an important question! One that often isn't asked because almost
all kids go to school with their lives controlled by school and
parents. So there isn't a way to separate the effects of school (and
traditional parenting) from the effects of being 11.
But unschoolers know. :-) We can see why traditionally parented,
schooled kids hide things, why those kids pretend to be something
they aren't to attract "friends". Take away the distrust, take away
the pressure to do what they don't believe in, take away the severing
of family ties while they're still dependent, add in trust that
they're good people, add in support for their interests and who they
are, add in close family ties and it's amazing the behavior that's
considered normal for kids really isn't. So much is caused by
distrust, control and disconnection.
to keep the scary world away from their kids. Parents are saying "I
don't trust the world."
What kids *feel* is "I don't trust you." Kids will react to the
reality they perceive not to the one we intend. So it makes no
difference how good our intentions are, makes no difference what we
tell them our intentions are, if the actions feel like distrust and
control, kids will react like we're intentionally distrusting and
controlling them.
Kids who are controlled (by distrust in this case) learn to hide
things they know their parents would disapprove of. We can't help
them and advise them and pass on useful information for situations if
kids are hiding things. And if we treat them in ways that will cause
them to hide things, then we're getting in the way of our own goal.
That doesn't mean we throw our hands up in the air! Just because the
familiar tools of keeping kids safe aren't as good as we thought,
doesn't mean there aren't *other* tools.
We trust *them*. We trust that they want to be good people, that they
want to be safe. They don't always know how but we trust that they
have instincts and that when they feel something is wrong -- *and*
we've shown that we're trustworthy to *help* them -- they'll come to
us for advice. And unlike schooled kids, we're sharing life together
so we understand what they're involved with enough to help them when
they ask questions.
It does work :-)
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> Beyond that, I'm trying to create a social networking siteIt always sounds like a good thing to get unschooling kids together.
> specifically for children between the ages of 6 and 12 called "Just
> Like Friends" (www.justlikefriends.com).
Their moms have found a common connection because of unschooling, so
why shouldn't they?
But the reason the moms get along is because unschooling is a common
interest. For unschooling kids, unschooling is a life style, not an
interest.
Same goes with ages. Age is not an interest ;-) Just because kids are
between 6 and 12 doesn't mean they'll have anything in common.
What kids want, just as adults want, are to find people with
compatible personalities and similar interests. (Too simplified but a
good starting point for people trying to find friends for their kids.)
> I saw my eleven year-oldIs her MySpace page stroke worthy because she's unmonitored, because
> niece's MySpace page and I almost had a stroke!
she's 11 or because she's in school and disconnected from her family?
It's an important question! One that often isn't asked because almost
all kids go to school with their lives controlled by school and
parents. So there isn't a way to separate the effects of school (and
traditional parenting) from the effects of being 11.
But unschoolers know. :-) We can see why traditionally parented,
schooled kids hide things, why those kids pretend to be something
they aren't to attract "friends". Take away the distrust, take away
the pressure to do what they don't believe in, take away the severing
of family ties while they're still dependent, add in trust that
they're good people, add in support for their interests and who they
are, add in close family ties and it's amazing the behavior that's
considered normal for kids really isn't. So much is caused by
distrust, control and disconnection.
> What would you likeWhen parents start monitoring their kids lives, it's with the intent
> to see in a kids or tweens social networking site (besides it being
> heavily�HEAVILY Monitored!)? I'd really like to know.
to keep the scary world away from their kids. Parents are saying "I
don't trust the world."
What kids *feel* is "I don't trust you." Kids will react to the
reality they perceive not to the one we intend. So it makes no
difference how good our intentions are, makes no difference what we
tell them our intentions are, if the actions feel like distrust and
control, kids will react like we're intentionally distrusting and
controlling them.
Kids who are controlled (by distrust in this case) learn to hide
things they know their parents would disapprove of. We can't help
them and advise them and pass on useful information for situations if
kids are hiding things. And if we treat them in ways that will cause
them to hide things, then we're getting in the way of our own goal.
That doesn't mean we throw our hands up in the air! Just because the
familiar tools of keeping kids safe aren't as good as we thought,
doesn't mean there aren't *other* tools.
We trust *them*. We trust that they want to be good people, that they
want to be safe. They don't always know how but we trust that they
have instincts and that when they feel something is wrong -- *and*
we've shown that we're trustworthy to *help* them -- they'll come to
us for advice. And unlike schooled kids, we're sharing life together
so we understand what they're involved with enough to help them when
they ask questions.
It does work :-)
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]