Somewhat OT: Parenting more than 4 kids
miceszb6
Hi,
I hope nobody minds if I bring this up here but I couldn't think of a
better place to ask for this type of opinion. We have four kiddos
right now and my husband and I are thinking of adding to the family.
I'm always in awe (in a very good way) of large families. Can I get
opinions from those of you who are parents of 4+ kids. Did you start
off unschooling from the start or did you put the kids in school to
then subsequently pull them out (we did and it's been hard but so far
unschooling is fitting our family very well). I'm curious about
unschooling in a large family and how chaotic things can get. Or is
it actually more laid back? It's chaotic here with our 2 boys (8,7)
and 2 girls (4,2) but sometimes the chaos is exactly what I like and
think it would be even more fun with more kiddos. Plus I'm very into
pregnancy,nursing,and homebirths (our last two were at home) and
would love to go through it all again. I'm getting certified as a
massage therapist and then expanding that into a holistic health
practitioner then into midwifery. Is there anyone here with similar
backround, or aspirations, or is working from home or even outside of
the home while maintaining a large family? I know there are soooo
many different family dynamics and each family has different things
that work but I guess I'm just looking for experiences from various
points of view. Any takers?
All opinions appreciated!
Melissa Bell
I hope nobody minds if I bring this up here but I couldn't think of a
better place to ask for this type of opinion. We have four kiddos
right now and my husband and I are thinking of adding to the family.
I'm always in awe (in a very good way) of large families. Can I get
opinions from those of you who are parents of 4+ kids. Did you start
off unschooling from the start or did you put the kids in school to
then subsequently pull them out (we did and it's been hard but so far
unschooling is fitting our family very well). I'm curious about
unschooling in a large family and how chaotic things can get. Or is
it actually more laid back? It's chaotic here with our 2 boys (8,7)
and 2 girls (4,2) but sometimes the chaos is exactly what I like and
think it would be even more fun with more kiddos. Plus I'm very into
pregnancy,nursing,and homebirths (our last two were at home) and
would love to go through it all again. I'm getting certified as a
massage therapist and then expanding that into a holistic health
practitioner then into midwifery. Is there anyone here with similar
backround, or aspirations, or is working from home or even outside of
the home while maintaining a large family? I know there are soooo
many different family dynamics and each family has different things
that work but I guess I'm just looking for experiences from various
points of view. Any takers?
All opinions appreciated!
Melissa Bell
Kathleen Gehrke
--- In [email protected], "miceszb6" <miceszb6@...>
wrote:
I have nine children ages 26, 24, 18, 16, 14, 13, 12, 10, and 8. Our
two oldest went to a little country school and then public high school.
They were really rebels and I see the damage ps did to them. The next
two jumped through school hoops and came home at sixth and fourth
grade. The next two helped us finally start the journey. One was
labled a trouble maker and one was labled learning disabled. I found
both of those lables inaccurate and dangerous. They were in second and
first grade at the time. The other kids have barely any school
reference at all. Other than tv's portrayal. It took us several years
to then fully embrace unschooling.Or really fully get it;]
Unschooling is wonderful with a large family. It makes so much sense
and my kids are so thriving.
As far as chaos I do not see it anymore than any other house. I think
perhaps less in lots of ways. My kids are not coerced or controlled.
Allowing them to be expressions of who they are, rather than an act of
rebellion fighting against external controls. We have moments of chaos,
when they are playing games in the dark, running through the house, but
it is joyful chaos.
I think my house is probably no more chaotic than yours. I often forget
how large we are. Until I see another large family get out of a vehicle
and then it like.. WOW!
We went to the show the other day to see Iron Man and when bought the
tickets I said ten.. LOL.
As far as fitting in an outside job stuff. I am not sure how I would do
that today. I do a lot from home. I am an activist and have several
small home business things going on. My dh works long hard hours for us
and me being gone very much at all would put a strain on our family. I
think if dh was home more I could pursue more outside stuff. I would
very much like to become a midwife, or a naturopath. I currently use
lots of aromatherapy and essential oils in our daily lives.
Anyway back to the subject.. LARGE FAMILIES AND UNSCHOOLING ARE THE
BEST TOGETHER!
Kathleen
Also as a side note both of my adult kids are following an unschooling
model with their kids. I LOVE IT>
wrote:
>Hi there,
> Hi,
>
> I hope nobody minds if I bring this up here but I couldn't think of a
> better place to ask for this type of opinion. We have four kiddos
> right now and my husband and I are thinking of adding to the family.
> I'm always in awe (in a very good way) of large families. Can I get
> opinions from those of you who are parents of 4+ kids.
>
I have nine children ages 26, 24, 18, 16, 14, 13, 12, 10, and 8. Our
two oldest went to a little country school and then public high school.
They were really rebels and I see the damage ps did to them. The next
two jumped through school hoops and came home at sixth and fourth
grade. The next two helped us finally start the journey. One was
labled a trouble maker and one was labled learning disabled. I found
both of those lables inaccurate and dangerous. They were in second and
first grade at the time. The other kids have barely any school
reference at all. Other than tv's portrayal. It took us several years
to then fully embrace unschooling.Or really fully get it;]
Unschooling is wonderful with a large family. It makes so much sense
and my kids are so thriving.
As far as chaos I do not see it anymore than any other house. I think
perhaps less in lots of ways. My kids are not coerced or controlled.
Allowing them to be expressions of who they are, rather than an act of
rebellion fighting against external controls. We have moments of chaos,
when they are playing games in the dark, running through the house, but
it is joyful chaos.
I think my house is probably no more chaotic than yours. I often forget
how large we are. Until I see another large family get out of a vehicle
and then it like.. WOW!
We went to the show the other day to see Iron Man and when bought the
tickets I said ten.. LOL.
As far as fitting in an outside job stuff. I am not sure how I would do
that today. I do a lot from home. I am an activist and have several
small home business things going on. My dh works long hard hours for us
and me being gone very much at all would put a strain on our family. I
think if dh was home more I could pursue more outside stuff. I would
very much like to become a midwife, or a naturopath. I currently use
lots of aromatherapy and essential oils in our daily lives.
Anyway back to the subject.. LARGE FAMILIES AND UNSCHOOLING ARE THE
BEST TOGETHER!
Kathleen
Also as a side note both of my adult kids are following an unschooling
model with their kids. I LOVE IT>
Meliss
"Anyway back to the subject.. LARGE FAMILIES AND UNSCHOOLING ARE THE
BEST TOGETHER!"
Thanks so very much for your input, Kathleen!! I so know what you mean about the chaos happening to be: running around the house, playing in the dark, etc... And ESPECIALLY being joyful! That is one of the best parts for me! Just watching them play (and getting in there right along with em') is great! Right now our two dd's, who are 4 and 2 (a very very agile 2) have climbed up onto the kitchen counter to sit with their legs dangling and they're singing loudly and acting out some kind of scenario. This is just "the greatest" for them cause they're "so high" and love to jump down and roll, while I'm watching from the corner of my eye ready to catch and struggling about whether or not to tell them to get down! LOL.
Anyway, I feel as though we have instinctively fell into what seems most like an unschooling way in the last few months, especially once I learned how to start letting go of my "schooling" mentality. And the boys absolutely HATE workbooks and are truly learning things on their own much more effectively than when I was trying to do "school at home". When I finally left our 7 YO alone (we were in a charter and I quit) 2 weeks later he was interested in a book his bro was reading and so he picked it up and read through almost half of it. When he showed me that he was actually reading it, when I thought he didn't know how to read, that was my moment when I realized there's something to this "self led learning" thing. When the boys were in ps I was having such a hard time of it! And just watching them change for the worse was heartbreaking. I'm so happy I followed my instincts to start over!
As far as adding to the family I couldn't even think about it during "our other life". I didn't think I'd make it as a successful parent. I was failing them! Homework freaked me out and even with them gone for HOURS a day I was more tired then than I am now!! Our lives "HAD" to have so much structure,schedules,rules,boundaries. We put ourselves into a box! My dh and I almost made the decision to have Zoe be the last baby "final". But thank goodness we didn't!! And now have whole new perspectives and feel that a larger family would be soooo fun and fit our natural dynamics.
Thanks again!
Meliss
---------------------------------
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BEST TOGETHER!"
Thanks so very much for your input, Kathleen!! I so know what you mean about the chaos happening to be: running around the house, playing in the dark, etc... And ESPECIALLY being joyful! That is one of the best parts for me! Just watching them play (and getting in there right along with em') is great! Right now our two dd's, who are 4 and 2 (a very very agile 2) have climbed up onto the kitchen counter to sit with their legs dangling and they're singing loudly and acting out some kind of scenario. This is just "the greatest" for them cause they're "so high" and love to jump down and roll, while I'm watching from the corner of my eye ready to catch and struggling about whether or not to tell them to get down! LOL.
Anyway, I feel as though we have instinctively fell into what seems most like an unschooling way in the last few months, especially once I learned how to start letting go of my "schooling" mentality. And the boys absolutely HATE workbooks and are truly learning things on their own much more effectively than when I was trying to do "school at home". When I finally left our 7 YO alone (we were in a charter and I quit) 2 weeks later he was interested in a book his bro was reading and so he picked it up and read through almost half of it. When he showed me that he was actually reading it, when I thought he didn't know how to read, that was my moment when I realized there's something to this "self led learning" thing. When the boys were in ps I was having such a hard time of it! And just watching them change for the worse was heartbreaking. I'm so happy I followed my instincts to start over!
As far as adding to the family I couldn't even think about it during "our other life". I didn't think I'd make it as a successful parent. I was failing them! Homework freaked me out and even with them gone for HOURS a day I was more tired then than I am now!! Our lives "HAD" to have so much structure,schedules,rules,boundaries. We put ourselves into a box! My dh and I almost made the decision to have Zoe be the last baby "final". But thank goodness we didn't!! And now have whole new perspectives and feel that a larger family would be soooo fun and fit our natural dynamics.
Thanks again!
Meliss
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
Check out Melissa's blog ( she has seven kids!)
http://startlinglives.blogspot.com/
Alex Polikowsky
polykow.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
http://startlinglives.blogspot.com/
Alex Polikowsky
polykow.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Melissa Gray
Hi,
I meant to email earlier but the chaos is amazing ;-) LOL That's a
freebie, I'll be good from now on. We have seven children, ages 13,
10, 9, 8, 6, 4 and 2.
We actually had our kids in school, and pulled them out when I was
pregnant with Avari. Basically she and Dan are always unschooled,
while the oldest two have LOTS of trauma, and the next two have some
trauma from school, and Sam is our borderbaby, he spent a LOT of time
at school as a toddler, both as receiving therapy and as the child of
a PTA mom. The only hard thing has been helping recovery from school,
the oldest two were severely depressed, they both spent five years in
school. We spent SO much time healing from that, two years nearly.
Having a large family can have its more chaotic moments, but I've
seen ways that it's easier as well. My friend has only one, and she
works very hard to keep her entertained, and is driving all the time
to find playmates. Whereas we have them built-in! Of course, being
siblings makes them no more likely to play together, but it's worked
well for us. There are times when I see how nice it is to have one or
two, because you can focus so much on the interests of one child
without all the hard compromising that we do for getting out of the
house, going to outings or sessions when one child wants to, etc.
I don't have a paying job, but I was running an NPO for the majority
of the time we've been unschooling. I finally passed over the reins
in January, and that's been liberating (my online time is truly
MINE!) It was a good twenty hours a week. I loved the work, but I
didn't like feeling that I was always having to choose between work
and kids and me. Anyway, welcome to the group, I know there are other
large families on here. Feel free to contact me offlist or to ask any
questions about specifics. I like to talk!
Melissa
Mom to Joshua, Breanna, Emily, Rachel, Samuel, Daniel and Avari
Wife to Zane
blog me at
http://startlinglives.blogspot.com/
http://startlinglives365.blogspot.com
I meant to email earlier but the chaos is amazing ;-) LOL That's a
freebie, I'll be good from now on. We have seven children, ages 13,
10, 9, 8, 6, 4 and 2.
We actually had our kids in school, and pulled them out when I was
pregnant with Avari. Basically she and Dan are always unschooled,
while the oldest two have LOTS of trauma, and the next two have some
trauma from school, and Sam is our borderbaby, he spent a LOT of time
at school as a toddler, both as receiving therapy and as the child of
a PTA mom. The only hard thing has been helping recovery from school,
the oldest two were severely depressed, they both spent five years in
school. We spent SO much time healing from that, two years nearly.
Having a large family can have its more chaotic moments, but I've
seen ways that it's easier as well. My friend has only one, and she
works very hard to keep her entertained, and is driving all the time
to find playmates. Whereas we have them built-in! Of course, being
siblings makes them no more likely to play together, but it's worked
well for us. There are times when I see how nice it is to have one or
two, because you can focus so much on the interests of one child
without all the hard compromising that we do for getting out of the
house, going to outings or sessions when one child wants to, etc.
I don't have a paying job, but I was running an NPO for the majority
of the time we've been unschooling. I finally passed over the reins
in January, and that's been liberating (my online time is truly
MINE!) It was a good twenty hours a week. I loved the work, but I
didn't like feeling that I was always having to choose between work
and kids and me. Anyway, welcome to the group, I know there are other
large families on here. Feel free to contact me offlist or to ask any
questions about specifics. I like to talk!
Melissa
Mom to Joshua, Breanna, Emily, Rachel, Samuel, Daniel and Avari
Wife to Zane
blog me at
http://startlinglives.blogspot.com/
http://startlinglives365.blogspot.com
On May 4, 2008, at 11:04 PM, miceszb6 wrote:
> Hi,
>
> I hope nobody minds if I bring this up here but I couldn't think of a
> better place to ask for this type of opinion. We have four kiddos
> right now and my husband and I are thinking of adding to the family.
> I'm always in awe (in a very good way) of large families. Can I get
> opinions from those of you who are parents of 4+ kids. Did you start
> off unschooling from the start or did you put the kids in school to
> then subsequently pull them out (we did and it's been hard but so far
> unschooling is fitting our family very well). I'm curious about
> unschooling in a large family and how chaotic things can get. Or is
> it actually more laid back? It's chaotic here with our 2 boys (8,7)
> and 2 girls (4,2) but sometimes the chaos is exactly what I like and
> think it would be even more fun with more kiddos. Plus I'm very into
> pregnancy,nursing,and homebirths (our last two were at home) and
> would love to go through it all again. I'm getting certified as a
> massage therapist and then expanding that into a holistic health
> practitioner then into midwifery. Is there anyone here with similar
> backround, or aspirations, or is working from home or even outside of
> the home while maintaining a large family? I know there are soooo
> many different family dynamics and each family has different things
> that work but I guess I'm just looking for experiences from various
> points of view. Any takers?
>
> All opinions appreciated!
>
> Melissa Bell
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
caradove
Hi,
I have five children, 12,10,6, near 5 and 22mnts. We have always
unschooled, except for one year that Ebhann, our oldest went to a
small multicultural school in Belfast N. Ireland.
At the minute I am finding the everyday house work overwhelming. But
the children themselves, it is in a lot of ways easier than having one
or two kids.I have friends who have a much harder time with one than I
do with five, but then again their daughter is in school.
Funny, I have not looked on this group for ages, as we were dealing
with some medical stuff and the first time I look back on, to search
for helpful stuff about bigger families, there you all are!!!!
Cara
I have five children, 12,10,6, near 5 and 22mnts. We have always
unschooled, except for one year that Ebhann, our oldest went to a
small multicultural school in Belfast N. Ireland.
At the minute I am finding the everyday house work overwhelming. But
the children themselves, it is in a lot of ways easier than having one
or two kids.I have friends who have a much harder time with one than I
do with five, but then again their daughter is in school.
Funny, I have not looked on this group for ages, as we were dealing
with some medical stuff and the first time I look back on, to search
for helpful stuff about bigger families, there you all are!!!!
Cara
Meliss
Hi Melissa!
I checked out your blog spot http://startlingliv es.blogspot. com/ http://startlingliv es365.blogspot. com before I posted my original e-mail about having more than 4 kids. I love your blog! It's fun to read about your family and see the pictures. And it really intrigued my curiosity hence my post. Your family sounds a lot like mine and they're around the same ages so I was very glad to find your blog! I LOVE to talk, also, so you'll be hearing from me off list as well! Thanks so much for the welcome!
Meliss
---------------------------------
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I checked out your blog spot http://startlingliv es.blogspot. com/ http://startlingliv es365.blogspot. com before I posted my original e-mail about having more than 4 kids. I love your blog! It's fun to read about your family and see the pictures. And it really intrigued my curiosity hence my post. Your family sounds a lot like mine and they're around the same ages so I was very glad to find your blog! I LOVE to talk, also, so you'll be hearing from me off list as well! Thanks so much for the welcome!
Meliss
---------------------------------
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