clubs, teams and such....
beensclan
Hi Everyone,
It is that time of year in my part of the world, when parents sign
their children up for sports teams, summer clubs, etc. My 6 year old
son has no interest in joining anything. It doesn't bother me that
he doesn't want a sports team....but it does bother me how people
seem to expect us to sign DS up for "something". In fact, I'm
starting to feel a slight anxiety about this now! Is he missing
out? What exactly is he missing out on?? I'm definately not
comfortable with coersing him into joining something. I might add
that we are the only ones in our neighbourhood who are unschoolers
(and homeschoolers too I'm sure). I guess I'm just feeling the
pressure of all my conventional neighbours.
DS loves being outside, exploring nature and working in our gardens.
He is really in his element doing those things. At my mom's we're
putting a massive veggie garden in and in the evenings, DS wants to
help me plant and reap. If he sees a bush that needs deadheading,
he'll just dig in and do it. This is one of his loves.
He also LOVES tinkering with tools and wood. He wants to build our
dog a house. He also helped build our deck last week.
These are his summer activities as well as our camping trips. His
loves....
Any opinions out there? Will the lack of team experience in his
young years have horrible results later in life? ( I ask that tongue-
in-cheek, but this is the thinking in my part of the world.)
Warmly,
Mel
It is that time of year in my part of the world, when parents sign
their children up for sports teams, summer clubs, etc. My 6 year old
son has no interest in joining anything. It doesn't bother me that
he doesn't want a sports team....but it does bother me how people
seem to expect us to sign DS up for "something". In fact, I'm
starting to feel a slight anxiety about this now! Is he missing
out? What exactly is he missing out on?? I'm definately not
comfortable with coersing him into joining something. I might add
that we are the only ones in our neighbourhood who are unschoolers
(and homeschoolers too I'm sure). I guess I'm just feeling the
pressure of all my conventional neighbours.
DS loves being outside, exploring nature and working in our gardens.
He is really in his element doing those things. At my mom's we're
putting a massive veggie garden in and in the evenings, DS wants to
help me plant and reap. If he sees a bush that needs deadheading,
he'll just dig in and do it. This is one of his loves.
He also LOVES tinkering with tools and wood. He wants to build our
dog a house. He also helped build our deck last week.
These are his summer activities as well as our camping trips. His
loves....
Any opinions out there? Will the lack of team experience in his
young years have horrible results later in life? ( I ask that tongue-
in-cheek, but this is the thinking in my part of the world.)
Warmly,
Mel
kellynrachel
Mel -
I have an opinion for you from a parent on the other side of the
spectrum. I have three children. I have always homeschooled, more
recently committed to an unschooling style. My husband and I were
both gymnasts, we teach gymnastics, we live athletically, and our
children have taken to enjoying the sport. My oldest two are on
gymnastics teams.
In their earlier years, they were content with a class or two here and
there. As they grew, they sought out friendships and peers who were
interested in their own interests. It happened to be gymnastics. I
feel that they have led me to this position. Though I want them to
feel a certain responsibility to their team, I do not wish for them to
continue if it does not fulfill their wants or needs any longer.
It is easy to fall into the trap of wanting to do what *everyone* else
thinks you should do. In my experience, my children spent their
younger years clinging to my interests and looking for ways to connect
with me. As they got to be 6-8 years old (depending on the child...
so far in my experience), they started to lead me in different
directions of their interests. I became a follower. A supporter.
Their biggest fan.
If you are feeling pressure, take a step back, ask yourself why you or
he have chosen the activities that you have, and check in with your
instinct. Are you doing what is right for your boy at this time?
Children change interests and needs rapidly. Spend your time in the
now. Offer the world to your child, but be prepared for him to want
nothing to do with it till he's found his own direction.
It's totally okay to not be involved teams, clubs, sports, etc. It's
your job to show him many paths, it's his choice to step on that path
or not.
Take a deep breath and do what you feel is right.
Rachel
Mom to Lauren (9), Cory (7), and Becca (4)
I have an opinion for you from a parent on the other side of the
spectrum. I have three children. I have always homeschooled, more
recently committed to an unschooling style. My husband and I were
both gymnasts, we teach gymnastics, we live athletically, and our
children have taken to enjoying the sport. My oldest two are on
gymnastics teams.
In their earlier years, they were content with a class or two here and
there. As they grew, they sought out friendships and peers who were
interested in their own interests. It happened to be gymnastics. I
feel that they have led me to this position. Though I want them to
feel a certain responsibility to their team, I do not wish for them to
continue if it does not fulfill their wants or needs any longer.
It is easy to fall into the trap of wanting to do what *everyone* else
thinks you should do. In my experience, my children spent their
younger years clinging to my interests and looking for ways to connect
with me. As they got to be 6-8 years old (depending on the child...
so far in my experience), they started to lead me in different
directions of their interests. I became a follower. A supporter.
Their biggest fan.
If you are feeling pressure, take a step back, ask yourself why you or
he have chosen the activities that you have, and check in with your
instinct. Are you doing what is right for your boy at this time?
Children change interests and needs rapidly. Spend your time in the
now. Offer the world to your child, but be prepared for him to want
nothing to do with it till he's found his own direction.
It's totally okay to not be involved teams, clubs, sports, etc. It's
your job to show him many paths, it's his choice to step on that path
or not.
Take a deep breath and do what you feel is right.
Rachel
Mom to Lauren (9), Cory (7), and Becca (4)
Robin Bentley
> I'm definately notGood. Don't <g>.
> comfortable with coersing him into joining something.
> I might addAll of whom have children who go to school and are expected to "do"
> that we are the only ones in our neighbourhood who are unschoolers
> (and homeschoolers too I'm sure). I guess I'm just feeling the
> pressure of all my conventional neighbours.
group things in the summer, like they "do" group things at school.
It's also another way for parents to have their usual time away from
their kids, like they do during the school year.
>Let him do what he loves. He's happy and fulfilled by "his" loves.
>
> DS loves being outside, exploring nature and working in our gardens.
> He is really in his element doing those things. At my mom's we're
> putting a massive veggie garden in and in the evenings, DS wants to
> help me plant and reap. If he sees a bush that needs deadheading,
> he'll just dig in and do it. This is one of his loves.
>
> He also LOVES tinkering with tools and wood. He wants to build our
> dog a house. He also helped build our deck last week.
>
> These are his summer activities as well as our camping trips. His
> loves....
>Remember it's school-think.
>
> Any opinions out there? Will the lack of team experience in his
> young years have horrible results later in life? ( I ask that tongue-
> in-cheek, but this is the thinking in my part of the world.)
If he were clamoring for team sports, I'd say sign him up. But he's
not. Let him be.
He may want to be a team sport player in the future. Then you can
revisit it. He also may never want to do it. That's okay, too. It's
better that he be confident and secure in his own self, in his own
passions, regardless of what other families do. Support him in this.
My dd, now 13, was never interested in team sports. Tennis, yes.
Gymnastics, yes. Horseback riding, yes. But soccer or any other team
sport? Nope. And I've offered throughout the years, but it wasn't
something that interested her. A friend of hers might be doing a
soccer skills camp this summer and dd thought she might want to do it,
too, but only because her friend is doing it. Otherwise, it's not on
her radar.
That isn't to say she's never done group things. She performed in a
homeschool Shakespearean troupe (she enjoyed it very much at the time,
but once was enough for her). She currently belongs to a teen group
which gets together for various activities, but team sports are really
not her style. Not now, in any case.
I wonder how many of those kids whose parents signed them up for team
anything really wanted to do those things....
Robin B.
>
Kathleen Gehrke
If your son expresses interest in joining okay, join.
If he is enjoying his current interests, good enjoy them.
When your community folks ask.. I think expressing your the fact that
you son is passionate about geology, conservation an accomplished
outdoorsman should sush them up.
Smile and be dead serious as you say it.
Kathleen
If he is enjoying his current interests, good enjoy them.
When your community folks ask.. I think expressing your the fact that
you son is passionate about geology, conservation an accomplished
outdoorsman should sush them up.
Smile and be dead serious as you say it.
Kathleen
Wendy McDonald
ITA with what you've seen so far. Some kids (just like some adults!)
are just not into team sports, or even *any* sports. I like the
suggestion below wrt celebrating his individual passions. I
constantly have to do that wrt my twins, whom people love to compare
because they are the same age. grrrr.
(On a side note, my daughters are interested in several summer camp
activities, because they see it as an opportunity to try on an
activity as a possibility for the future, without having to make a
long-term commitment. But they are only signing up for what interests
them, and in fact I am finding that I have to rein things in a bit for
costs.)
Wendy
--- In [email protected], "Kathleen Gehrke"
<gehrkes@...> wrote:
are just not into team sports, or even *any* sports. I like the
suggestion below wrt celebrating his individual passions. I
constantly have to do that wrt my twins, whom people love to compare
because they are the same age. grrrr.
(On a side note, my daughters are interested in several summer camp
activities, because they see it as an opportunity to try on an
activity as a possibility for the future, without having to make a
long-term commitment. But they are only signing up for what interests
them, and in fact I am finding that I have to rein things in a bit for
costs.)
Wendy
--- In [email protected], "Kathleen Gehrke"
<gehrkes@...> wrote:
>
> If your son expresses interest in joining okay, join.
>
> If he is enjoying his current interests, good enjoy them.
>
> When your community folks ask.. I think expressing your the fact that
> you son is passionate about geology, conservation an accomplished
> outdoorsman should sush them up.
>
> Smile and be dead serious as you say it.
>
> Kathleen
>
Mara
Hi,
I have a six year old son as well who is outside in the yard with me and his little brother for most days that are nice. He tried soccer a year ago and only liked it because there were some nice girls he said. He did not go back and has not asked to do any kind of team sport since. The only things he does like that are somewhat sporty are mini-golf and climbing rocks and sometimes playing ball and swordfighting -
There are only two other homeschoolers in our town that we do not have much contact with, but there are nice ones in the next towns over. I used to show him all the great classes that are being offered everywhere, and my DS tried a few, but this year HE wants to be the teacher and me and my other DS are taking his 'classes' daily now. They are great fun too.
I truly believe that no classes are necessary - when someone gets to be a certain age and really feels that they want to learn something specific that no one else can teach them they will find the right mentor for themselves.
As long as he does not beg to join a team sport and shows no interest in it, it is certainly not at all necessary. I personally never liked them and wish I had not been forced to do some in school. It taught me nothing, other than that I felt inadequate and awkward. But I do love to dance a lot and this is something I found out without any class at all -
Mara
----- Original Message ----
From: beensclan <beensclan@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, May 2, 2008 7:53:11 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] clubs, teams and such....
Hi Everyone,
It is that time of year in my part of the world, when parents sign
their children up for sports teams, summer clubs, etc. My 6 year old
son has no interest in joining anything. It doesn't bother me that
he doesn't want a sports team....but it does bother me how people
seem to expect us to sign DS up for "something". In fact, I'm
starting to feel a slight anxiety about this now! Is he missing
out? What exactly is he missing out on?? I'm definately not
comfortable with coersing him into joining something. I might add
that we are the only ones in our neighbourhood who are unschoolers
(and homeschoolers too I'm sure). I guess I'm just feeling the
pressure of all my conventional neighbours.
DS loves being outside, exploring nature and working in our gardens.
He is really in his element doing those things. At my mom's we're
putting a massive veggie garden in and in the evenings, DS wants to
help me plant and reap. If he sees a bush that needs deadheading,
he'll just dig in and do it. This is one of his loves.
He also LOVES tinkering with tools and wood. He wants to build our
dog a house. He also helped build our deck last week.
These are his summer activities as well as our camping trips. His
loves....
Any opinions out there? Will the lack of team experience in his
young years have horrible results later in life? ( I ask that tongue-
in-cheek, but this is the thinking in my part of the world.)
Warmly,
Mel
____________________________________________________________________________________
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I have a six year old son as well who is outside in the yard with me and his little brother for most days that are nice. He tried soccer a year ago and only liked it because there were some nice girls he said. He did not go back and has not asked to do any kind of team sport since. The only things he does like that are somewhat sporty are mini-golf and climbing rocks and sometimes playing ball and swordfighting -
There are only two other homeschoolers in our town that we do not have much contact with, but there are nice ones in the next towns over. I used to show him all the great classes that are being offered everywhere, and my DS tried a few, but this year HE wants to be the teacher and me and my other DS are taking his 'classes' daily now. They are great fun too.
I truly believe that no classes are necessary - when someone gets to be a certain age and really feels that they want to learn something specific that no one else can teach them they will find the right mentor for themselves.
As long as he does not beg to join a team sport and shows no interest in it, it is certainly not at all necessary. I personally never liked them and wish I had not been forced to do some in school. It taught me nothing, other than that I felt inadequate and awkward. But I do love to dance a lot and this is something I found out without any class at all -
Mara
----- Original Message ----
From: beensclan <beensclan@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, May 2, 2008 7:53:11 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] clubs, teams and such....
Hi Everyone,
It is that time of year in my part of the world, when parents sign
their children up for sports teams, summer clubs, etc. My 6 year old
son has no interest in joining anything. It doesn't bother me that
he doesn't want a sports team....but it does bother me how people
seem to expect us to sign DS up for "something". In fact, I'm
starting to feel a slight anxiety about this now! Is he missing
out? What exactly is he missing out on?? I'm definately not
comfortable with coersing him into joining something. I might add
that we are the only ones in our neighbourhood who are unschoolers
(and homeschoolers too I'm sure). I guess I'm just feeling the
pressure of all my conventional neighbours.
DS loves being outside, exploring nature and working in our gardens.
He is really in his element doing those things. At my mom's we're
putting a massive veggie garden in and in the evenings, DS wants to
help me plant and reap. If he sees a bush that needs deadheading,
he'll just dig in and do it. This is one of his loves.
He also LOVES tinkering with tools and wood. He wants to build our
dog a house. He also helped build our deck last week.
These are his summer activities as well as our camping trips. His
loves....
Any opinions out there? Will the lack of team experience in his
young years have horrible results later in life? ( I ask that tongue-
in-cheek, but this is the thinking in my part of the world.)
Warmly,
Mel
____________________________________________________________________________________
Be a better friend, newshound, and
know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
beensclan
--- In [email protected], Mara <mamadeluz@...> wrote:
Just want to extend a big thank you to all who replied. It is really
comforting to me to know that I'm not really alone in my thinking.
Everything everyone said, I really had already felt in my heart. Just
seeing it in print though is so encouraging. How refreshing it is to
discuss matters with other parents who are at peace.
Thanks again,
Mel
mary
--- In [email protected], Mara <mamadeluz@...> wrote:
specific that no one else can teach them they will find the right
mentor for themselves.
I totally agree with this. My 5 year old daughter's friends are all
taking classes signed up for all sorts of things(incidentally their
parents are going through their own issues of paying for all this
stuff when their kids are only sort of involved/interested...). My
daughter has no interest-I've asked. Her opinion is she can't do what
she wants when she's there so she doesn't want to do it.
I think she is learning something valuable-that a lot of what you
want to learn you can learn on your own(takes out that teacher as
superior type of thinking). And as Mara said when you feel like you
want to know more you can find the right mentor.
I also feel not taking lessons being part of a club or team gives a
kid a chance to develop their own style. For example if you start out
with dance lessons before you have danced on your own with your heart
full of bliss how will you know what is your style? I can tell you my
3 year old has a dance no one could've taught her and it is my
favorite-but more importantly hers, too.
mary
>be a certain age and really feels that they want to learn something
>
> I truly believe that no classes are necessary - when someone gets to
specific that no one else can teach them they will find the right
mentor for themselves.
I totally agree with this. My 5 year old daughter's friends are all
taking classes signed up for all sorts of things(incidentally their
parents are going through their own issues of paying for all this
stuff when their kids are only sort of involved/interested...). My
daughter has no interest-I've asked. Her opinion is she can't do what
she wants when she's there so she doesn't want to do it.
I think she is learning something valuable-that a lot of what you
want to learn you can learn on your own(takes out that teacher as
superior type of thinking). And as Mara said when you feel like you
want to know more you can find the right mentor.
I also feel not taking lessons being part of a club or team gives a
kid a chance to develop their own style. For example if you start out
with dance lessons before you have danced on your own with your heart
full of bliss how will you know what is your style? I can tell you my
3 year old has a dance no one could've taught her and it is my
favorite-but more importantly hers, too.
mary
swissarmy_wife
Here is an article about an accomplished country artist who dropped
out of school. Her last statement is so irritating to me. Is she
planning on lying to her daughter or what???
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,354111,00.html
out of school. Her last statement is so irritating to me. Is she
planning on lying to her daughter or what???
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,354111,00.html
> --- In [email protected], Mara <mamadeluz@> wrote:
> >
> >
> > I truly believe that no classes are necessary - when someone gets to
> be a certain age and really feels that they want to learn something
> specific that no one else can teach them they will find the right
> mentor for themselves.
>
Melissa Gray
That *is* annoying. She obviously HAS been successful and happy with
what she is doing. What is she trying to prove? And to whom?
Melissa
Mom to Joshua, Breanna, Emily, Rachel, Samuel, Daniel and Avari
Wife to Zane
blog me at
http://startlinglives.blogspot.com/
http://startlinglives365.blogspot.com
what she is doing. What is she trying to prove? And to whom?
Melissa
Mom to Joshua, Breanna, Emily, Rachel, Samuel, Daniel and Avari
Wife to Zane
blog me at
http://startlinglives.blogspot.com/
http://startlinglives365.blogspot.com
On May 4, 2008, at 4:58 PM, swissarmy_wife wrote:
> Here is an article about an accomplished country artist who dropped
> out of school. Her last statement is so irritating to me. Is she
> planning on lying to her daughter or what???
>
> http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,354111,00.html
>
> > --- In [email protected], Mara <mamadeluz@> wrote:
> > >
> > >
> > > I truly believe that no classes are necessary - when someone
> gets to
> > be a certain age and really feels that they want to learn something
> > specific that no one else can teach them they will find the right
> > mentor for themselves.
> >
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Stephanie Jackson
>"Wilson told The Tennessean that her 7-year-old daughter was the bigreason to finally finish, saying "I certainly don't want her to think
you can be this successful without an education."
I actually think this is pretty hilarious. She's basically saying, I
certainly don't want her to think that what I've accomplished,
witnessed by millions, is actually possible. Hopefully she'll read
that later and realize how bogus her statement was. Better yet,
hopefully her dd will.