zanyzingzap

Ok. I have been working hard at working through *MY* issues and deschooling
my thought process. I feel like I have made progress.. I didn't say anything
when ds chose to eat a handful of jolly ranchers rather than the awesome
chicken I cooked for dinner.



I need to vent and blow off some steam, hopefully get some perspective



Anyway. there are a lot of children in our neighborhood that give me the
creeps. They have no sense of respecting boundaries, they act rude, pushy,
demanding, etc. I have spent a LOT of time being present out there, letting
them know how things work in our yard. and coming down to asking them to
leave when things get beyond what I can deal with. (Fights mainly). I seem
to be doing something right because when things go wrong, the kids come
knock on my door even if ds isn't even out there playing and rather than
going to their own homes..



Anyway, there are some kids who really seem to push the limits. talk about
anal sex, masturbation, insults using sexual terms and the like. DS (9 yo)
thankfully comes and asks me to explain about things he hears but SHIT! He
has not been overly exposed to things of that nature, I see no reason to
shove him into exposure and I am PISSED. He is a child. He has a right to be
a child. When those things come into his awareness, fine, we can talk about
them. BUT I am PISSED that these kids are taking away his innocence. One of
the kids is always stirring up trouble, lying, stealing, fighting. setting
things on fire. he took pictures of his own brother and my ds outside
playing "Naruto" and taunted them saying he would post them on youtube or
some other net site in "dildoland" . Really? I don't even know if that
exists but come on? WHY? And who the hell is he to post pictures of my son
on the internet without permission??????? His brother tells us all about
this kids exploits online, he has no sense of safety or security. He is also
9yo and goes to XXX sites. Mum and Dad apparently have plenty of adult
material around. Fine, but sheesh, why the hell can't he keep it to himself?
It isn't a sharing in a safe kind of way. His behavior seems rather
predatory to me. I talk with ds about it. A lot lately. I am at a loss
though. I have seen how this kids mum and dad treat the kids, they are
verbally and emotionally abusive. I do wonder if there is physical abuse
too.



I mean there is more to all of this, but this is the most recent episode.
There has been calling ds a :fag: because he hugged a friend, then when ds
plugged his ears the kids were pulling his hands and taunting him until I
heard the commotion and came out of the house. I am out there so much of the
time and it seems the few times I am not all hell breaks loose. Even when I
am out there stuff happens.



I want to move. There is an older kid that hangs out with DS who is VERY
pushy. I talk with DS, ask how he feels, if it bothers him, offer him words
to use when it does, and just be present when this kid is around. But this
kid. ds says he is going in to use the bathroom and will be right back,
other kid is pushing his face INTO my screen and craning his neck trying to
watch ds get to the bathroom. does this strike anyone else as CREEPY???? If
other kids are out there trying to play with ds this kid will physically
stand between ds and the other kids, trying to block them out. ARGH. the one
time I let him in the house to play (before we met his mother. I ask kids to
wait until I meet their parents and they meet me before coming into my house
so I don't have an angry parent pounding down my door as happened before)
they played a video game. We have a long sofa and two chairs, ds sat in his
usual spot and this other kid (not to mention the same thing happened with
another kid!) sat practically ON him. Like most of his leg was on ds's leg.
DS asked him to move and he did, but then moved back within like 3 minutes.
to me that is CREEPY!!! I put the chairs in front of the tv and said I
needed the couch to work on my project (which was true, I just worked on it
earlier than planned) and the boys moved to the chairs. The one boy tried to
sit in the same chair as ds. even when ds said no. I asked ds to help me in
the other room for a minute and checked in with him on how he was feeling.
he tries to be nice but said it bothered him. I let him know it was totally
ok to tell someone else to move. I have always told him it is ok to tell
someone not to touch him.



I haven't told DS he can't play with these kids. I did say I do not feel
safe about him going to the houses of two of these kids. I have explained
that since their parents scream, curse at and hit their children and treat
them really disrespectfully I believe that is an unsafe situation for him to
go into alone. Thankfully he agrees and doesn't mind that I prefer he have
the kids come here to play. (And yes I KNOW they do this and in front of
other kids as I have witnessed it) I know it is hard for him. Our many
attempts to connect with other people have resulted in knowing lots of great
people who are really far away from us. We see them when we can. Most of
them when we go to visit it is an all day journey for us. I am not willing
to never be home. I like being home. I wish there were more people near to
us with at least the ability to tolerate our differences and who aren't
systematically dismantling their children's spirits. Oh that is a whole
other thing. people who talk about how awful the things were their parents
did to them and then proceeding to KNOWINGLY do exactly the same thing to
their own kids. To the point that to be around them feels like we are being
exposed to witness abuse. it is really gut wrenching some of this stuff I
witness.



As it is my domestic abilities are in serious question because I am more
focused on providing ds with opportunities than darning socks ;) I know the
laundry isn't going anywhere, the stack of papers will get filed when I get
to it, the jeans will get patched when they get patched. etc. I would spend
a LOT more time away from home except I need to eat and sleep. I don't do
well on lots of prepackaged food items so I make most of our stuff. I use
the crock pot and cook extras to have leftovers but being away from home all
the time leaves me feeling disoriented and unhappy. Really I would like to
move and am pushing for it, dh is just not on board with it. I am hoping
every day my friend comes thru with getting out of her old house and renting
to us like she offered a year ago but I am not holding my breath. Houses in
our $$ range are further than dh is willing to drive to work. Changing jobs
is not really an option being active duty Air Force. though we are both
ready to say screw the retirement and have him get out at the end of this
enlistment( would be at 17 years!). Which is a whole other thing.



I guess I am just feeling overwhelmed and undersupported. I do what I can. I
have hobbies of my own that I can be doing while still being present outside
while ds is playing with these kids to hopefully minimize incidents. I keep
seeking out folks that have safer environments for ds to play and inviting
kids to come play at our place that do behave well. I cherish the people ds
enjoys playing with who might parent differently but at least are not
screaming at their kids! I keep the dialogue with ds open all the time. I
let him know he can say anything to me, he can ask me any questions and he
can talk to other people that will give honest info to him as well (dh, my
dad, my older sister, my oldest nephew) without judgment, criticism or
censoring.



I am trying to get this outside of myself as it feels like it is still
eating away at me. Sorry if I am kind of all over the place and to be so
long winded. There is so much going on here, I am sure much of it is getting
skipped over, I am trying to be more concise.



Lisa R







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Pamela Sorooshian

On May 1, 2008, at 11:11 PM, zanyzingzap wrote:

> Our many
> attempts to connect with other people have resulted in knowing lots
> of great
> people who are really far away from us. We see them when we can.
> Most of
> them when we go to visit it is an all day journey for us. I am not
> willing
> to never be home. I like being home.

I have an unschooling friend who had three boys. They had a long
period of time in which the neighborhood kids were just really awful -
pretty much in all the ways you described. She eventually moved. But,
in the meantime, she did keep the kids super busy away from home. They
signed up for more after-school activities than they had ever done
before, so that they'd have somewhere to go when the other kids were
just getting home from school. They went on lengthy trips more often
than they had before - went camping for weekends a lot. They invited
friends to come over and spend several days at their house with
specific activities (mostly specific video games) in mind.

You might have to sacrifice some of your wanting to be at home if
being at home is bad for your son. What you "like" might not be as
important as what is good for him.

These kids all go to school, right? So be home during school hours and
take off at other times.

And, there HAVE to be nicer kids around - get involved in local
activities so that he meets some.

Oh - and you do NOT have to have the at your house just because they
want to be there. If your son is uncomfortable with them, then tell
them, "Hey, time for me to send you home, now."

-Pam

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

swissarmy_wife

I'm back from my yahoo group hiatus. :-)

I struggle with a similar problem. We have a VERY large backyard with
a swingset. We have kids that crawl under the bushes to come play,
and a tenant who's grandchildren have become a real nuisance.
Unfortunately, a fence isn't in the budget right now, but we are
evicting our tenant because we need the space for the baby (due in July).

Anyway, I feel your pain. I am a very private person and I absolutely
HATE having kids just show up in the yard without asking me first. I
feel like their babysitter sometimes because no one comes to check on
them ever. We barbecue with family and friends A LOT in the
summertime and there's even been a few times where I realized that
some of the kids just "snuck in".

I find it REALLY hard to keep busy where i live. There really isn't a
while lot going on. I also have been begging for a move to somewhere
busier and warmer!

Desperately in need of a fence,

Heather


--- In [email protected], Pamela Sorooshian
<pamsoroosh@...> wrote:
>
>
> On May 1, 2008, at 11:11 PM, zanyzingzap wrote:
>
> > Our many
> > attempts to connect with other people have resulted in knowing lots
> > of great
> > people who are really far away from us. We see them when we can.
> > Most of
> > them when we go to visit it is an all day journey for us. I am not
> > willing
> > to never be home. I like being home.
>
> I have an unschooling friend who had three boys. They had a long
> period of time in which the neighborhood kids were just really awful -
> pretty much in all the ways you described. She eventually moved. But,
> in the meantime, she did keep the kids super busy away from home. They
> signed up for more after-school activities than they had ever done
> before, so that they'd have somewhere to go when the other kids were
> just getting home from school. They went on lengthy trips more often
> than they had before - went camping for weekends a lot. They invited
> friends to come over and spend several days at their house with
> specific activities (mostly specific video games) in mind.
>
> You might have to sacrifice some of your wanting to be at home if
> being at home is bad for your son. What you "like" might not be as
> important as what is good for him.
>
> These kids all go to school, right? So be home during school hours and
> take off at other times.
>
> And, there HAVE to be nicer kids around - get involved in local
> activities so that he meets some.
>
> Oh - and you do NOT have to have the at your house just because they
> want to be there. If your son is uncomfortable with them, then tell
> them, "Hey, time for me to send you home, now."
>
> -Pam
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

keetry

--- In [email protected], "swissarmy_wife"
<heatherbean@...> wrote:
>
> I'm back from my yahoo group hiatus. :-)
>
> I struggle with a similar problem. We have a VERY large backyard
with
> a swingset. We have kids that crawl under the bushes to come play,
> and a tenant who's grandchildren have become a real nuisance.
> Unfortunately, a fence isn't in the budget right now, but we are
> evicting our tenant because we need the space for the baby (due in
July).
>
> Anyway, I feel your pain. I am a very private person and I
absolutely
> HATE having kids just show up in the yard without asking me
first. I
> feel like their babysitter sometimes because no one comes to check
on
> them ever. We barbecue with family and friends A LOT in the
> summertime and there's even been a few times where I realized that
> some of the kids just "snuck in".
>
> I find it REALLY hard to keep busy where i live. There really
isn't a
> while lot going on. I also have been begging for a move to
somewhere
> busier and warmer!
>
> Desperately in need of a fence,
>
> Heather


I'm the opposite when it comes to kids in the neighborhood. I love
it when they show up at my house and want to play or hang out. I
have learned that I need to watch things more closely when other
kids are over, even ones who I think are relatively well-behaved and
come from "good" families. It used to bother me that my older son
rarely had friends over. I wondered and wondered what I could do to
make our home more inviting, fun, whatever. When he got older, 16,
he started having friends over more and I loved it!

If there were a safety issue with one of my children, though, I
would try to keep mine occupied without the other kids, away from
home and/or not have those creepy kids in my home.

Alysia

Matt & Jessica

Wow. I have lots of thoughts on this. First, what a emotional situation to be in. The most important thing to me would be to know how your son is feeling about all of these things. What does he say when his "friend" almost sits on him or cranes his neck to watch him go into the bathroom. *I do have to add here that my dd is almost five and would follow anyone into the bathroom if I let her. Her friends are more private than she is so far. Right now she doesn't see it as a private place, she just wants to be with her friends. So the other boy may not be invading privacy in his mind. It also might not bother your son. When I was younger my friends and I followed each other to keep talking for years, lol!
The other thing I thought of while reading, is WOW these other children *especially the little boy that watches XXX movies etc, is reaching out for help. All of his bullying and telling about XXX things, is him just begging for someone to help him understand. As confusing as it is for YOUR son (who of course is your MAIN concern and should remain there) just think of how confused and torn this little boy is. I am willing to bet your presence is helpful to this boy as difficult as it is for you.
I am assuming that his parents aren't willing to talk but if they are just out of the loop, maybe you could explain some of the things that are going on to them? Could you talk to someone else that might be able to help the boy?
My only advice is to NEVER leave your son out there alone. He needs your help to navigate through this. If you haven't already, find out how he feels about all of these things that you have described. I would let him know how some of the situations make you feel also. I would have a few boundaries that ALL of the kids are aware of. Of course you should set those with your son's help, but my main one (and maybe only one) would be NO FIGHTING/ hurting each other on purpose. For many obvious reasons, but also because if someone gets hurt on your property under your supervision, YOU could get in trouble.
I hope this helps and I hope you are able to move soon for your own sanity!! My neighborhood has some unruly children also that drive me crazy. :) I just remind myself that they are children and it is the parents that have molded them this way. They don't lead the same loving life our children do :(!!
Jessica


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Alison Broadbent

This has been a mixed blessing at our house. Everybody likes to come
over and play here. I can see why. The parents are either verbally
abusive/heavy school pressure to excel or not around.

After a bunch of talk that I thought was demeaning, I took the child
aside and told him that here at our house we tried to speak
respectfully to each other. He looked as though I was going to deck
him or something. I told him I wasn't talking to him to shame him
but safety and respect were important here and if he didn't feel he
could act that way, he wouldn't be welcome. I said something similar
to the other boy and things have changed a lot.

I think talking to each child one on one (something that may be a
shock to them) creates connection and they see something they may not
know about.

This has been a huge learning situation for Asher. He likes that he
has someone to play with at times but he sees that people lie and he
hasn't experienced that. He's 8 and I sure would have liked him to
live in a respectful world as long as possible, not trying to figure
out when someone was saying something manipulative or not. He's a
trusting guy and this has stretched his nature. But he's learned
these things in a safe situation and we've talked about it as it
happens. He's learning not to follow other's leads just bc they're
older which he used to do.

I'd ask your ds whether those things you feel are creepy, feel
uncomfortable to him. If they do and he can't speak up, ask if he'd
mind if you spoke up.

One of the boys has begged for Asher to have a sleep over. Because
of this boy's past, I don't feel comfortable and I've said to Asher
that he has to trust me on this one. I don't feel comfortable. He
can have a sleep over w/ another friend whose mom I know and trust.
He asked me what I thought he would do and at that point I wasn't
sure what to say. I said something about not trusting him and that
this boy was so persistent, it might make Asher uncomfortable and it
would be the middle of the night. It left me feeling I hadn't
handled it in the best way.

Alison

Queana

My 8 yo son has many, many wonderful and amazing qualities. There is
something he does that just annoys me, and I'm not sure how/if to change my
reaction. He'll say something that's not true to get some kind of reaction,
and then say he was just kidding. To me, kidding is joking, or saying
something amusing. Kidding is not just lying and then saying you were
lying. His dad does it too, and I had a boyfriend as a teen who did it, and
I broke up with him because of it lol. I wonder if it's a common male
thing?

As an example, night before last there was a bird stuck in our vent. We
opened it up and shut the bathroom door hoping it would be able to escape.
Yesterday he came up and said, "Mom, the bird came out!" I said, "It
did?!?" and he said, "Just kidding!" wth? It's been getting more and more
frequent lately. My reaction is usually something like rolling my eyes,
pointing at that it was not funny so not really kidding, or telling him that
it annoys me when he does that. I don't particularly like my reaction, but
I also don't want to pretend I think it's funny or cool when I don't. Also,
I think he gets positive feedback for it from his dad and maybe my 17 yo, so
I don't think I necessarily need to add to that. Is it ok to tell him it
annoys me, or is it a personality trait I am rejecting or something?

Sarah


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

swissarmy_wife

I had forgotten that my 9 year old used to do this too, until you
mentioned it. IMO, this is not a big deal. He's trying to trick you.
To make you laugh. Mine would do this, and I would just exclaim
something to effect of "You little bugger, you tricked me AGAIN!" and
he would laugh, and I would laugh and then it was over and he'd do it
again later or the next day. I would say your being much too rigid
about this. He isn't lying. He's playing games, but for whatever
reason you're resisting the game. :-)


--- In [email protected], Queana <queana@...> wrote:
>
> My 8 yo son has many, many wonderful and amazing qualities. There is
> something he does that just annoys me, and I'm not sure how/if to
change my
> reaction. He'll say something that's not true to get some kind of
reaction,
> and then say he was just kidding. To me, kidding is joking, or saying
> something amusing. Kidding is not just lying and then saying you were
> lying. His dad does it too, and I had a boyfriend as a teen who did
it, and
> I broke up with him because of it lol. I wonder if it's a common male
> thing?
>
> As an example, night before last there was a bird stuck in our vent. We
> opened it up and shut the bathroom door hoping it would be able to
escape.
> Yesterday he came up and said, "Mom, the bird came out!" I said, "It
> did?!?" and he said, "Just kidding!" wth? It's been getting more
and more
> frequent lately. My reaction is usually something like rolling my eyes,
> pointing at that it was not funny so not really kidding, or telling
him that
> it annoys me when he does that. I don't particularly like my
reaction, but
> I also don't want to pretend I think it's funny or cool when I
don't. Also,
> I think he gets positive feedback for it from his dad and maybe my
17 yo, so
> I don't think I necessarily need to add to that. Is it ok to tell
him it
> annoys me, or is it a personality trait I am rejecting or something?
>
> Sarah
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Queana

Thanks for the perspective. I don't tell him he's lying, but I have always
told my husband that when he did it. Your son must have grown out of it,
but my husband didn't so I don't know if my son will, lol. It just bugs
me... Not because he's my son, as I mentioned it has always bugged me when
others have done it too. If I don't think its funny should I pretend that I
do?

Sarah


On 5/6/08 8:06 AM, "swissarmy_wife" <heatherbean@...> wrote:

>
>
>
> I had forgotten that my 9 year old used to do this too, until you
> mentioned it. IMO, this is not a big deal. He's trying to trick you.
> To make you laugh. Mine would do this, and I would just exclaim
> something to effect of "You little bugger, you tricked me AGAIN!" and
> he would laugh, and I would laugh and then it was over and he'd do it
> again later or the next day. I would say your being much too rigid
> about this. He isn't lying. He's playing games, but for whatever
> reason you're resisting the game. :-)
>
> --- In [email protected]
> <mailto:unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com> , Queana <queana@...> wrote:
>> >
>> > My 8 yo son has many, many wonderful and amazing qualities. There is
>> > something he does that just annoys me, and I'm not sure how/if to
> change my
>> > reaction. He'll say something that's not true to get some kind of
> reaction,
>> > and then say he was just kidding. To me, kidding is joking, or saying
>> > something amusing. Kidding is not just lying and then saying you were
>> > lying. His dad does it too, and I had a boyfriend as a teen who did
> it, and
>> > I broke up with him because of it lol. I wonder if it's a common male
>> > thing?
>> >
>> > As an example, night before last there was a bird stuck in our vent. We
>> > opened it up and shut the bathroom door hoping it would be able to
> escape.
>> > Yesterday he came up and said, "Mom, the bird came out!" I said, "It
>> > did?!?" and he said, "Just kidding!" wth? It's been getting more
> and more
>> > frequent lately. My reaction is usually something like rolling my eyes,
>> > pointing at that it was not funny so not really kidding, or telling
> him that
>> > it annoys me when he does that. I don't particularly like my
> reaction, but
>> > I also don't want to pretend I think it's funny or cool when I
> don't. Also,
>> > I think he gets positive feedback for it from his dad and maybe my
> 17 yo, so
>> > I don't think I necessarily need to add to that. Is it ok to tell
> him it
>> > annoys me, or is it a personality trait I am rejecting or something?
>> >
>> > Sarah
>> >
>> >
>> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>> >
>
>
>



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

swissarmy_wife

My guess is you don't like being tricked. I'm saying this because, I
don't either. And I cannot stand surprises! My brother is like this
as well. We had a pact growing up, we always told each other any
surprises or presents that were coming! LOL It might have been
because my mother was such a terrible gift giver that we felt we
needed to be prepared. :-) Anyway... this is beside the point.<g>

For the most part my son doesn't do this anymore. Occasionally,
maybe. But I think it is harmless play, and if he is supported he
will eventually move on to something different. Maybe pretending
isn't the answer, but why you won't allow yourself to enjoy it might
be something to ask yourself.





--- In [email protected], Queana <queana@...> wrote:
>
> Thanks for the perspective. I don't tell him he's lying, but I have
always
> told my husband that when he did it. Your son must have grown out
of it,
> but my husband didn't so I don't know if my son will, lol. It just bugs
> me... Not because he's my son, as I mentioned it has always bugged
me when
> others have done it too. If I don't think its funny should I
pretend that I
> do?
>
> Sarah

Shannon Bonafede

Sorry, know that I have stopped laughing... I have learned thru life but
mostly my hubby that there are many varieties of humor. My husband finds
what I call stupid humor the funniest. Stuff like Mask, Ace Ventura and Dumb
and Dumber are the first to come to mind. I prefer ironic and slapstick
humor. There is no surprise then that our children love the oddest jokes and
a variety of humor. My oldest son though is showing a preference for stupid
humor. The children will wear out a joke until the funniest is just not
funny anymore but if our reaction (positive or negative) is strong enough -
they will do it just for the reaction of it. I will laugh at even the
weakest joke the first time and maybe even the second - after I say "I think
I heard that one before." or "That was funny the first time - got anything
new?" I try to only give strong reactions to things I want to see again.

My son's current thing is trying to scare me. No, I shouldn't say new. He
has tried to do it for years with little success. He is practicing with
great success at walking quietly and has recently been quiet enough to sneak
up on me. He thinks this is great fun and funny too. (Fear or shock humor?)
My first rection was overboard. He REALLY scared me. I have a hard time not
giving a very real reaction and congratulate him for getting me good.

Good luck,

Shannon

_____

From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Queana
Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 10:55 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] How do I stop being annoyed by this?



My 8 yo son has many, many wonderful and amazing qualities. There is
something he does that just annoys me, and I'm not sure how/if to change my
reaction. He'll say something that's not true to get some kind of reaction,
and then say he was just kidding. To me, kidding is joking, or saying
something amusing. Kidding is not just lying and then saying you were
lying. His dad does it too, and I had a boyfriend as a teen who did it, and
I broke up with him because of it lol. I wonder if it's a common male
thing?

As an example, night before last there was a bird stuck in our vent. We
opened it up and shut the bathroom door hoping it would be able to escape.
Yesterday he came up and said, "Mom, the bird came out!" I said, "It
did?!?" and he said, "Just kidding!" wth? It's been getting more and more
frequent lately. My reaction is usually something like rolling my eyes,
pointing at that it was not funny so not really kidding, or telling him that
it annoys me when he does that. I don't particularly like my reaction, but
I also don't want to pretend I think it's funny or cool when I don't. Also,
I think he gets positive feedback for it from his dad and maybe my 17 yo, so
I don't think I necessarily need to add to that. Is it ok to tell him it
annoys me, or is it a personality trait I am rejecting or something?

Sarah

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]






[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

keetry

--- In [email protected], "swissarmy_wife"
<heatherbean@...> wrote:
>
> but why you won't allow yourself to enjoy it might
> be something to ask yourself.

I agree with this. It does sound like a game. My oldest son did this
at around the same age so maybe it's an ages/stages thing that kids
just do. He loved practical jokes for a time, which is basically what
that is. I don't like them because I don't like being tricked. It
makes me feel like I'm stupid, a dupe, gullible. My 4yo does this
sometimes. Now I just laugh and say something along the lines of, "Oh,
you tricked me!"

I think it would be great if you could find a way to have with this
with your son. A great way to laugh together and connect with him with
fun.

Alysia

BRIAN POLIKOWSKY

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< had forgotten that my 9 year old used to do this too, until you
mentioned it. IMO, this is not a big deal. He's trying to trick you.
To make you laugh. Mine would do this, and I would just exclaim
something to effect of "You little bugger, you tricked me AGAIN!" and
he would laugh, and I would laugh and then it was over and he'd do it
again later or the next day. I would say your being much too rigid
about this. He isn't lying. He's playing games, but for whatever
reason you're resisting the game. :-)>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


That is the same here with my almost 6 year old. I laugh and I go "YOu are so funny!" He loves to make jokes.

Alex





[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: Queana <queana@...>


Thanks for the perspective. I don't tell him he's lying, but I have
always
told my husband that when he did it. Your son must have grown out of
it,
but my husband didn't so I don't know if my son will, lol. It just bugs
me... Not because he's my son, as I mentioned it has always bugged me
when
others have done it too. If I don't think its funny should I pretend
that I
do?

-=-=-

I wouldn't.

I would let them know that I don't appreciate it. And I *would*
appreciate it if they would please abstain from that behavior around me.



~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org

Lisa

I don't think I ever posted back to say thanks for the responses. I
think I tried once and got my email bounced back.

Good news is WE are ***moving*** WOOHOO!!!!

Through some sort of serendipity or synchronicity we made a connection
with someone who had a house to rent and it has worked out
beautifully. We will offically move July 1st!

I have talked with ds and he has let me know what does and doesn't
bother him. We have created a couple of code words he can remember
that let me know he wants me to step in if he is trying to communicate
with these kids and they are not respecting his boundaries.

We have had 2 incidents with one of the kids that has left ds
understanding this it not a trustyworthy child and he has asked me to
let this child know he is unwelcome inside our home. I have done so.

We have talked and talked about stuff and I think we have deepened the
connection and trust between ds and myself. That feels good.

I have talked with a couple of the kids one on one and to the side
away from other kids. I have tried to connect with them and let them
know I think they are good kids who sometimes make decisions that
don't work out the best for them. I told them I am happy to listen if
they want to bounce ideas off me and that they are welcome to play if
they are able to be respectful of people who are here. Things have
been somewhat better.

Staying away from home as much as possible is an interesting
challenge. We are trying to find ways to do that without letting
things get out of control at home and without spending more money than
we have avaialble. We have had some good ideas and are trying new
things out. It will be a moot point when we get to the new house I
hope. Or at least the excitement of a new place will carry us for a
while. Plus ds understands we will be able to invite folks to come
play at our house with much less fuss than we can right now. (military
base, have to get passes for non-military people).

All in all things are good. Venting was good and thanks for all the
feedback.

Lisa



--- In [email protected], "zanyzingzap"
<zanyzingzap@...> wrote:
>

>
>
>
> I need to vent and blow off some steam, hopefully get some perspective
>
>
>
> Anyway. there are a lot of children in our neighborhood that give me the
> creeps. T

Emily

My son is almost 6 and he loves jokes, but often doesn't understand
what makes them funny or when he tells a joke to someone else, why
didn't the get it (laugh) because he forgot part? Knock knock jokes
seem to be really confusing and puns don't make any sense to him.
Sharing a lot of jokes with him has opened a lot of opportunities for
talking about what words mean (especially in the case of puns-words
sounding the same, but with different meanings/spellings) and for
walking through the parts of a joke- lead in vs punch line and how to
make the delivery funnier.

We told our son this joke:
Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud!
He thinks a pig falling in the mud is very funny and doesn't get the
innuendo- which of course is the funny part for us when he tells other
adults the joke! He started making substitutes: a sheep fell in the
mud...his funniest: Mama fell in the mud! But, because falling in the
mud was the funny part to him, he started forgetting the first line.


Perhaps you could share what *does* make you laugh!

Emily
(new to the group)

wisdomalways5

--- In [email protected], "Emily" <emilybug@...>
wrote:
>
> My son is almost 6 and he loves jokes, but often doesn't understand
> what makes them funny or when he tells a joke to someone else, why
> didn't the get it (laugh) because he forgot part? Knock knock jokes
> seem to be really confusing and puns don't make any sense to him.
> Sharing a lot of jokes with him has opened a lot of opportunities
for
> talking about what words mean (especially in the case of puns-words
> sounding the same, but with different meanings/spellings) and for
> walking through the parts of a joke- lead in vs punch line and how
to
> make the delivery funnier.
>

he is 6- they do not "get" jokes- laugh and tell him he is funny and
then be prepared when he starts laughing at jokes because he finally
does "get" it around the preteen years

Julie
www.the-life-of-fun.blogspot.com