Trusting the desire to read
Kim Musolff
I was just doing some reading on attachment parenting and weaning. In my
strange way, I've made this connection to reading. I thought I'd pass it
along, and see what you all thought.
I've always been in favor of self-weaning and co-sleeping. I've always
handled criticism well, by saying (or just thinking), "What do you think
I'll have a 18 year old who still wants to nurse, and sleep in bed with
me?" I've always just *trusted* that of course my children will wean and
sleep in their own beds when they are ready.
As I was thinking this, I realized that many of you have said the same thing
about your children learning to read. You just trust that they will learn
when they are ready. Am I thinking about this the right way? Is it the
same sort of trust I have, knowing that my children are ready to wean and
sleep on their own?
If I'm making a correct analogy, then I wonder, what sort of support should
I be giving my child? When they are ready to wean or sleep on their own, my
children give definite signs of readiness, as opposed to saying outright
"I'm ready to wean now." (Although I don't doubt that some children might
say this. But mine never did.) So do I, then, look for similar signs for
reading readiness? And when I see those signs, is that when it's ok to
present "schooly" looking things (as long as they are still interested)? Or
is it never ok to present these things?
Any thoughts?
Kim
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
strange way, I've made this connection to reading. I thought I'd pass it
along, and see what you all thought.
I've always been in favor of self-weaning and co-sleeping. I've always
handled criticism well, by saying (or just thinking), "What do you think
I'll have a 18 year old who still wants to nurse, and sleep in bed with
me?" I've always just *trusted* that of course my children will wean and
sleep in their own beds when they are ready.
As I was thinking this, I realized that many of you have said the same thing
about your children learning to read. You just trust that they will learn
when they are ready. Am I thinking about this the right way? Is it the
same sort of trust I have, knowing that my children are ready to wean and
sleep on their own?
If I'm making a correct analogy, then I wonder, what sort of support should
I be giving my child? When they are ready to wean or sleep on their own, my
children give definite signs of readiness, as opposed to saying outright
"I'm ready to wean now." (Although I don't doubt that some children might
say this. But mine never did.) So do I, then, look for similar signs for
reading readiness? And when I see those signs, is that when it's ok to
present "schooly" looking things (as long as they are still interested)? Or
is it never ok to present these things?
Any thoughts?
Kim
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
What is getting you stuck here is that you are used to see learning to read in a school enviroment.
/learning to read as an unschooling child looks nothing like it and for every child will be different.
I would love to write more of how my ds is learning but it is late.
Alex
Kim Musolff <kmoose75@...> wrote:
I was just doing some reading on attachment parenting and weaning. In my
strange way, I've made this connection to reading. I thought I'd pass it
along, and see what you all thought.
I've always been in favor of self-weaning and co-sleeping. I've always
handled criticism well, by saying (or just thinking), "What do you think
I'll have a 18 year old who still wants to nurse, and sleep in bed with
me?" I've always just *trusted* that of course my children will wean and
sleep in their own beds when they are ready.
As I was thinking this, I realized that many of you have said the same thing
about your children learning to read. You just trust that they will learn
when they are ready. Am I thinking about this the right way? Is it the
same sort of trust I have, knowing that my children are ready to wean and
sleep on their own?
If I'm making a correct analogy, then I wonder, what sort of support should
I be giving my child? When they are ready to wean or sleep on their own, my
children give definite signs of readiness, as opposed to saying outright
"I'm ready to wean now." (Although I don't doubt that some children might
say this. But mine never did.) So do I, then, look for similar signs for
reading readiness? And when I see those signs, is that when it's ok to
present "schooly" looking things (as long as they are still interested)? Or
is it never ok to present these things?
Any thoughts?
Kim
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
/learning to read as an unschooling child looks nothing like it and for every child will be different.
I would love to write more of how my ds is learning but it is late.
Alex
Kim Musolff <kmoose75@...> wrote:
I was just doing some reading on attachment parenting and weaning. In my
strange way, I've made this connection to reading. I thought I'd pass it
along, and see what you all thought.
I've always been in favor of self-weaning and co-sleeping. I've always
handled criticism well, by saying (or just thinking), "What do you think
I'll have a 18 year old who still wants to nurse, and sleep in bed with
me?" I've always just *trusted* that of course my children will wean and
sleep in their own beds when they are ready.
As I was thinking this, I realized that many of you have said the same thing
about your children learning to read. You just trust that they will learn
when they are ready. Am I thinking about this the right way? Is it the
same sort of trust I have, knowing that my children are ready to wean and
sleep on their own?
If I'm making a correct analogy, then I wonder, what sort of support should
I be giving my child? When they are ready to wean or sleep on their own, my
children give definite signs of readiness, as opposed to saying outright
"I'm ready to wean now." (Although I don't doubt that some children might
say this. But mine never did.) So do I, then, look for similar signs for
reading readiness? And when I see those signs, is that when it's ok to
present "schooly" looking things (as long as they are still interested)? Or
is it never ok to present these things?
Any thoughts?
Kim
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
What is getting you stuck here is that you are used to see learning to read in a school enviroment.
/learning to read as an unschooling child looks nothing like it and for every child will be different.
I would love to write more of how my ds is learning but it is late.
Alex
Kim Musolff <kmoose75@...> wrote:
I was just doing some reading on attachment parenting and weaning. In my
strange way, I've made this connection to reading. I thought I'd pass it
along, and see what you all thought.
I've always been in favor of self-weaning and co-sleeping. I've always
handled criticism well, by saying (or just thinking), "What do you think
I'll have a 18 year old who still wants to nurse, and sleep in bed with
me?" I've always just *trusted* that of course my children will wean and
sleep in their own beds when they are ready.
As I was thinking this, I realized that many of you have said the same thing
about your children learning to read. You just trust that they will learn
when they are ready. Am I thinking about this the right way? Is it the
same sort of trust I have, knowing that my children are ready to wean and
sleep on their own?
If I'm making a correct analogy, then I wonder, what sort of support should
I be giving my child? When they are ready to wean or sleep on their own, my
children give definite signs of readiness, as opposed to saying outright
"I'm ready to wean now." (Although I don't doubt that some children might
say this. But mine never did.) So do I, then, look for similar signs for
reading readiness? And when I see those signs, is that when it's ok to
present "schooly" looking things (as long as they are still interested)? Or
is it never ok to present these things?
Any thoughts?
Kim
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
/learning to read as an unschooling child looks nothing like it and for every child will be different.
I would love to write more of how my ds is learning but it is late.
Alex
Kim Musolff <kmoose75@...> wrote:
I was just doing some reading on attachment parenting and weaning. In my
strange way, I've made this connection to reading. I thought I'd pass it
along, and see what you all thought.
I've always been in favor of self-weaning and co-sleeping. I've always
handled criticism well, by saying (or just thinking), "What do you think
I'll have a 18 year old who still wants to nurse, and sleep in bed with
me?" I've always just *trusted* that of course my children will wean and
sleep in their own beds when they are ready.
As I was thinking this, I realized that many of you have said the same thing
about your children learning to read. You just trust that they will learn
when they are ready. Am I thinking about this the right way? Is it the
same sort of trust I have, knowing that my children are ready to wean and
sleep on their own?
If I'm making a correct analogy, then I wonder, what sort of support should
I be giving my child? When they are ready to wean or sleep on their own, my
children give definite signs of readiness, as opposed to saying outright
"I'm ready to wean now." (Although I don't doubt that some children might
say this. But mine never did.) So do I, then, look for similar signs for
reading readiness? And when I see those signs, is that when it's ok to
present "schooly" looking things (as long as they are still interested)? Or
is it never ok to present these things?
Any thoughts?
Kim
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
What is getting you stuck here is that you are used to see learning to read in a school enviroment.
/learning to read as an unschooling child looks nothing like it and for every child will be different.
I would love to write more of how my ds is learning but it is late.
Alex
Kim Musolff <kmoose75@...> wrote:
I was just doing some reading on attachment parenting and weaning. In my
strange way, I've made this connection to reading. I thought I'd pass it
along, and see what you all thought.
I've always been in favor of self-weaning and co-sleeping. I've always
handled criticism well, by saying (or just thinking), "What do you think
I'll have a 18 year old who still wants to nurse, and sleep in bed with
me?" I've always just *trusted* that of course my children will wean and
sleep in their own beds when they are ready.
As I was thinking this, I realized that many of you have said the same thing
about your children learning to read. You just trust that they will learn
when they are ready. Am I thinking about this the right way? Is it the
same sort of trust I have, knowing that my children are ready to wean and
sleep on their own?
If I'm making a correct analogy, then I wonder, what sort of support should
I be giving my child? When they are ready to wean or sleep on their own, my
children give definite signs of readiness, as opposed to saying outright
"I'm ready to wean now." (Although I don't doubt that some children might
say this. But mine never did.) So do I, then, look for similar signs for
reading readiness? And when I see those signs, is that when it's ok to
present "schooly" looking things (as long as they are still interested)? Or
is it never ok to present these things?
Any thoughts?
Kim
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
/learning to read as an unschooling child looks nothing like it and for every child will be different.
I would love to write more of how my ds is learning but it is late.
Alex
Kim Musolff <kmoose75@...> wrote:
I was just doing some reading on attachment parenting and weaning. In my
strange way, I've made this connection to reading. I thought I'd pass it
along, and see what you all thought.
I've always been in favor of self-weaning and co-sleeping. I've always
handled criticism well, by saying (or just thinking), "What do you think
I'll have a 18 year old who still wants to nurse, and sleep in bed with
me?" I've always just *trusted* that of course my children will wean and
sleep in their own beds when they are ready.
As I was thinking this, I realized that many of you have said the same thing
about your children learning to read. You just trust that they will learn
when they are ready. Am I thinking about this the right way? Is it the
same sort of trust I have, knowing that my children are ready to wean and
sleep on their own?
If I'm making a correct analogy, then I wonder, what sort of support should
I be giving my child? When they are ready to wean or sleep on their own, my
children give definite signs of readiness, as opposed to saying outright
"I'm ready to wean now." (Although I don't doubt that some children might
say this. But mine never did.) So do I, then, look for similar signs for
reading readiness? And when I see those signs, is that when it's ok to
present "schooly" looking things (as long as they are still interested)? Or
is it never ok to present these things?
Any thoughts?
Kim
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Barbara Perez
You know, I don't think of it in terms of being OK or not, just not
necessary. When a child is ready to read, you are right, instead of saying
that, they'll likely show signs. When they're ready to wean, they just
do...right? When they're ready to read...they just do! I mean, they'll read
street signs, labels, and such. They'll show interest in what you're
reading, maybe. You will see them reading, they will see you reading. The
analogy with weaning I guess is kind of reversed, since they are starting to
do something or show interest in something, as opposed to beginning to show
disinterest in nursing.
necessary. When a child is ready to read, you are right, instead of saying
that, they'll likely show signs. When they're ready to wean, they just
do...right? When they're ready to read...they just do! I mean, they'll read
street signs, labels, and such. They'll show interest in what you're
reading, maybe. You will see them reading, they will see you reading. The
analogy with weaning I guess is kind of reversed, since they are starting to
do something or show interest in something, as opposed to beginning to show
disinterest in nursing.
On Sun, Apr 27, 2008 at 10:47 PM, Kim Musolff <kmoose75@...> wrote:
> I was just doing some reading on attachment parenting and weaning. In my
> strange way, I've made this connection to reading. I thought I'd pass it
> along, and see what you all thought.
>
> I've always been in favor of self-weaning and co-sleeping. I've always
> handled criticism well, by saying (or just thinking), "What do you think
> I'll have a 18 year old who still wants to nurse, and sleep in bed with
> me?" I've always just *trusted* that of course my children will wean and
> sleep in their own beds when they are ready.
>
> As I was thinking this, I realized that many of you have said the same
> thing
> about your children learning to read. You just trust that they will learn
> when they are ready. Am I thinking about this the right way? Is it the
> same sort of trust I have, knowing that my children are ready to wean and
> sleep on their own?
>
> If I'm making a correct analogy, then I wonder, what sort of support
> should
> I be giving my child? When they are ready to wean or sleep on their own,
> my
> children give definite signs of readiness, as opposed to saying outright
> "I'm ready to wean now." (Although I don't doubt that some children might
> say this. But mine never did.) So do I, then, look for similar signs for
> reading readiness? And when I see those signs, is that when it's ok to
> present "schooly" looking things (as long as they are still interested)?
> Or
> is it never ok to present these things?
>
> Any thoughts?
>
> Kim
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joyce Fetteroll
On Apr 28, 2008, at 1:47 AM, Kim Musolff wrote:
the structure of language from hearing and using it. They will absorb
signs like STOP and McDonalds and "Do you want to save?". They will
build up the meanings of hundreds and hundreds of words.
There are several brain areas involved in the process of reading.
Those brain areas will be maturing at different rates and being used
for other things so it's not just reading that will help them read.
When all the brain areas are mature, they'll be able to decode and
read. It's not something they need taught. It's something they will
figure out.
without them.
They can be fun for kids who like them. Just like any book. They can
also be damaging if the parent thinks there's some key to reading in
them that the child needs. There isn't.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> So do I, then, look for similar signs forThey will be learning to read all along. They will be learning about
> reading readiness? And when I see those signs, is that when it's
> ok to
> present "schooly" looking things (as long as they are still
> interested)?
the structure of language from hearing and using it. They will absorb
signs like STOP and McDonalds and "Do you want to save?". They will
build up the meanings of hundreds and hundreds of words.
There are several brain areas involved in the process of reading.
Those brain areas will be maturing at different rates and being used
for other things so it's not just reading that will help them read.
When all the brain areas are mature, they'll be able to decode and
read. It's not something they need taught. It's something they will
figure out.
> OrIt's not *necessary* to present those things. Kids learn to read fine
> is it never ok to present these things?
without them.
They can be fun for kids who like them. Just like any book. They can
also be damaging if the parent thinks there's some key to reading in
them that the child needs. There isn't.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Meredith
--- In [email protected], Joyce Fetteroll
<jfetteroll@...> wrote:
more like learning about food and eating than "being ready to wean" -
do you see the distinction I'm making? Adults are still learing about
eating, and we're also still learing about reading. Its just not as big
and obvious to say "hey, I learned what that logo stands for" at 40 as
it is at 8.
---Meredith (Mo 6, Ray 14)
<jfetteroll@...> wrote:
>> They will be learning to read all along.Right. To make a counter analogy to weaning, learing about reading is
more like learning about food and eating than "being ready to wean" -
do you see the distinction I'm making? Adults are still learing about
eating, and we're also still learing about reading. Its just not as big
and obvious to say "hey, I learned what that logo stands for" at 40 as
it is at 8.
---Meredith (Mo 6, Ray 14)
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: Kim Musolff <kmoose75@...>
I've always been in favor of self-weaning and co-sleeping. I've always
handled criticism well, by saying (or just thinking), "What do you think
I'll have a 18 year old who still wants to nurse, and sleep in bed with
me?" I've always just *trusted* that of course my children will wean
and
sleep in their own beds when they are ready.
-=-=-=-=-
It's funny how we can trust some things but have such a hard time with
others, isn't it?
-=-=-=-=-
As I was thinking this, I realized that many of you have said the same
thing
about your children learning to read. You just trust that they will
learn
when they are ready. Am I thinking about this the right way? Is it the
same sort of trust I have, knowing that my children are ready to wean
and
sleep on their own?
-=-=-=-=-
Yep.
-==-=-==-
If I'm making a correct analogy, then I wonder, what sort of support
should
I be giving my child? When they are ready to wean or sleep on their
own, my
children give definite signs of readiness, as opposed to saying outright
"I'm ready to wean now." (Although I don't doubt that some children
might
say this. But mine never did.) So do I, then, look for similar signs
for
reading readiness?
-=-=-=-=-
Kind of. But I remember when Duncan was just starting, he didn't really
show "signs of readiness." It was more like showing "signs of already
reading," on a small scale---or maybe a lower scale. He started
pointing out McDonald's signs on the highway. Or saying "stop" at stop
signs. He'd ask what something said or asked what does _ _ _ _ spell?
It was very obvious he was making connections. And the connections
started to get overwhelming. Then they seemed to stop. Dead. Then
slowly we saw more ability. Then nothing. Then reading short books.
Then asking us to buy books. <g> Then seemingly no interest in words or
reading or books. Then more. Then almost no asking for help on video
games or computer games. Eventually it snowballed, and he can read
almost everything. And he writes online to gamers or in emails. With
help form us sometimes---sometimes he has it all just fine. Depends on
what he has to say. It's been VERY organic and fun to experience.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
And when I see those signs, is that when it's ok to
present "schooly" looking things (as long as they are still
interested)? Or
is it never ok to present these things?
-=-=-=-=-
Why do you feel the need to present "schooly" looking things? What kind
of things?
I think it would depend on the child. We certainly talk a lot about
language and words and grammar here 'cause I like to. <g> We *play*
with words. But nothing has to actually look "schooly" to be effective
or helpful. It can just *be*.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
From: Kim Musolff <kmoose75@...>
I've always been in favor of self-weaning and co-sleeping. I've always
handled criticism well, by saying (or just thinking), "What do you think
I'll have a 18 year old who still wants to nurse, and sleep in bed with
me?" I've always just *trusted* that of course my children will wean
and
sleep in their own beds when they are ready.
-=-=-=-=-
It's funny how we can trust some things but have such a hard time with
others, isn't it?
-=-=-=-=-
As I was thinking this, I realized that many of you have said the same
thing
about your children learning to read. You just trust that they will
learn
when they are ready. Am I thinking about this the right way? Is it the
same sort of trust I have, knowing that my children are ready to wean
and
sleep on their own?
-=-=-=-=-
Yep.
-==-=-==-
If I'm making a correct analogy, then I wonder, what sort of support
should
I be giving my child? When they are ready to wean or sleep on their
own, my
children give definite signs of readiness, as opposed to saying outright
"I'm ready to wean now." (Although I don't doubt that some children
might
say this. But mine never did.) So do I, then, look for similar signs
for
reading readiness?
-=-=-=-=-
Kind of. But I remember when Duncan was just starting, he didn't really
show "signs of readiness." It was more like showing "signs of already
reading," on a small scale---or maybe a lower scale. He started
pointing out McDonald's signs on the highway. Or saying "stop" at stop
signs. He'd ask what something said or asked what does _ _ _ _ spell?
It was very obvious he was making connections. And the connections
started to get overwhelming. Then they seemed to stop. Dead. Then
slowly we saw more ability. Then nothing. Then reading short books.
Then asking us to buy books. <g> Then seemingly no interest in words or
reading or books. Then more. Then almost no asking for help on video
games or computer games. Eventually it snowballed, and he can read
almost everything. And he writes online to gamers or in emails. With
help form us sometimes---sometimes he has it all just fine. Depends on
what he has to say. It's been VERY organic and fun to experience.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
And when I see those signs, is that when it's ok to
present "schooly" looking things (as long as they are still
interested)? Or
is it never ok to present these things?
-=-=-=-=-
Why do you feel the need to present "schooly" looking things? What kind
of things?
I think it would depend on the child. We certainly talk a lot about
language and words and grammar here 'cause I like to. <g> We *play*
with words. But nothing has to actually look "schooly" to be effective
or helpful. It can just *be*.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org