energy robber
mjtjkda
My main energy robber is when my kids start to fight and bicker between
each other...I have 5 children, 3 of them very close in age and they
are constantly going form being "best friends" to hating each other...I
am hearing it go on all day, 24/7 and it makes me really wonder what
sane mother would ever want to stay home and homeschool full time? it
leaves me feeling the need for a nap(which is impossible with 5 kids)I
mean it's enough to drive even a saint to drink!! lol I feel like the
more time we spend together and the more we get to know each other, the
more bickering happens...I don't want to feel like the only mom dealing
with this....does anyone have any advice?
each other...I have 5 children, 3 of them very close in age and they
are constantly going form being "best friends" to hating each other...I
am hearing it go on all day, 24/7 and it makes me really wonder what
sane mother would ever want to stay home and homeschool full time? it
leaves me feeling the need for a nap(which is impossible with 5 kids)I
mean it's enough to drive even a saint to drink!! lol I feel like the
more time we spend together and the more we get to know each other, the
more bickering happens...I don't want to feel like the only mom dealing
with this....does anyone have any advice?
Karen Swanay
I have NO advice for you but you are absolutely not alone. My boys
are 11 and 9 (23 months apart) and the fighting is wearing on me too.
It's fine when we are all doing something but as soon as they get
bored or compete over a limited resource like the game system the
fighting starts. I too am looking for the magic that will make it
stop. I'm not saying they have to get along all the time or not have
disagreements but if the name calling and physical stuff would
stop...along with the screaming like their heads are on fire I'd be a
much more peaceful mom.
Karen
are 11 and 9 (23 months apart) and the fighting is wearing on me too.
It's fine when we are all doing something but as soon as they get
bored or compete over a limited resource like the game system the
fighting starts. I too am looking for the magic that will make it
stop. I'm not saying they have to get along all the time or not have
disagreements but if the name calling and physical stuff would
stop...along with the screaming like their heads are on fire I'd be a
much more peaceful mom.
Karen
On Thu, Apr 3, 2008 at 3:22 PM, mjtjkda <mjtjkda@...> wrote:
I don't want to feel like the only mom dealing
> with this....does anyone have any advice?
Karen
Have you just begun homeschooling? I got that impression because you
mentioned the more time you spend togehter and the more you get to
know each other. I am going to assume they had been in school
previous to this.
Part of it may be that they are getting use to each other. The other
part is that they are siblings living together and they are going to
get on each others nerves.
I just have 3 kids that are 6, 4, & 4. We get some pretty good
bickering going on here too. When it starts and I am in another
room, I let it be and see if they can work it out for themselves.
Many time they can. If it becomes evident it is not getting worked
out, I start some activity that I think they will enjoy. Playdoh,
painting, and cooking are good "bring everyone together" activities
in our house. Sometimes it is the "3's a crowd" dynamic that makes
it hard for the kids to get along. If that is the case, I will try
to get my oldest involved in something she loves (jumpstart game or
markers). Then I can spend some time playing with or reading to the
twins.
Have you read "Siblings Without Rivalry"? It has some great advice
for siblings.
--- In [email protected], "mjtjkda" <mjtjkda@...>
wrote:
mentioned the more time you spend togehter and the more you get to
know each other. I am going to assume they had been in school
previous to this.
Part of it may be that they are getting use to each other. The other
part is that they are siblings living together and they are going to
get on each others nerves.
I just have 3 kids that are 6, 4, & 4. We get some pretty good
bickering going on here too. When it starts and I am in another
room, I let it be and see if they can work it out for themselves.
Many time they can. If it becomes evident it is not getting worked
out, I start some activity that I think they will enjoy. Playdoh,
painting, and cooking are good "bring everyone together" activities
in our house. Sometimes it is the "3's a crowd" dynamic that makes
it hard for the kids to get along. If that is the case, I will try
to get my oldest involved in something she loves (jumpstart game or
markers). Then I can spend some time playing with or reading to the
twins.
Have you read "Siblings Without Rivalry"? It has some great advice
for siblings.
--- In [email protected], "mjtjkda" <mjtjkda@...>
wrote:
>between
>
> My main energy robber is when my kids start to fight and bicker
> each other...I have 5 children, 3 of them very close in age andthey
> are constantly going form being "best friends" to hating eachother...I
> am hearing it go on all day, 24/7 and it makes me really wonderwhat
> sane mother would ever want to stay home and homeschool full time?it
> leaves me feeling the need for a nap(which is impossible with 5kids)I
> mean it's enough to drive even a saint to drink!! lol I feel likethe
> more time we spend together and the more we get to know each other,the
> more bickering happens...I don't want to feel like the only momdealing
> with this....does anyone have any advice?
>
ENSEMBLE S-WAYNFORTH
I only have two children, but they can go from best of friends to hurt and angry fairly quickly. Last night it happened. What helps is being there. That is always what helps. Being able to redirect the energy into something else. I find that on days when they are really getting along, really having a good time together, playing World of Warcraft or setting up a clubhouse in a tent outside, I'm too likely to take a break and to not be as nearby as I should be. It works much better if when I'm doing something near them, playing WoW with them, or some kind of parallel play/activity. So, if they are outside, I'm out there too, not necessarily doing the same thing, but present, and listening, just for the sounds of tension. How I approach it also makes a difference. They each have their own way that they want peace to be made. Simon doesn't want to discuss what happened. He wants me to figure out something else that I can do. Last night it was setting up his
bed and plugging in a dvd player so that he could listen to Harry Potter when he woke up. Linnaea wants to talk about the thing for a bit, she wants to make sure that she isn't being blamed. She wants to rage against inequity for a bit. Then she wants a cuddle, and then she's done with the whole thing, but more likely to be fragile in the relationship for a little while. Once the peace has been broken, I need to be far more present than before. Usually it helps if I can join in the play. And again, that is my thing. It means that whatever I was doing can't be more important than being their very present mother.
The amazing thing is how much more quickly peace can be restored these days. Two days ago Simon got really upset over the way his shoes felt. We were trying to go to the library to see what DS games they had to rent and I was prepared to not go as soon as he collapsed on the floor. Within a few minutes of talking and seeing if he still wanted to go, he was fine. There have been days when that was the end. When the comfort of his shoes was enough to send him to his room under a blanket. As he has grown older, and probably, to a lesser extent, as I've gotten better at not pushing my own agenda, he has become less stuck in his unhappiness. It goes for both of them working out issues together, as well. There are moments when I am nearby and I can hear tensions growing, when I can also hear them begin to look for solutions together to lessen the tension.
Schuyler
www.waynforth.blogspot.com
===========
My main energy robber is when my kids start to fight and bicker between
each other...I have 5 children, 3 of them very close in age and they
are constantly going form being "best friends" to hating each other...I
am hearing it go on all day, 24/7 and it makes me really wonder what
sane mother would ever want to stay home and homeschool full time? it
leaves me feeling the need for a nap(which is impossible with 5 kids)I
mean it's enough to drive even a saint to drink!! lol I feel like the
more time we spend together and the more we get to know each other, the
more bickering happens...I don't want to feel like the only mom dealing
with this....does anyone have any advice?
------------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
bed and plugging in a dvd player so that he could listen to Harry Potter when he woke up. Linnaea wants to talk about the thing for a bit, she wants to make sure that she isn't being blamed. She wants to rage against inequity for a bit. Then she wants a cuddle, and then she's done with the whole thing, but more likely to be fragile in the relationship for a little while. Once the peace has been broken, I need to be far more present than before. Usually it helps if I can join in the play. And again, that is my thing. It means that whatever I was doing can't be more important than being their very present mother.
The amazing thing is how much more quickly peace can be restored these days. Two days ago Simon got really upset over the way his shoes felt. We were trying to go to the library to see what DS games they had to rent and I was prepared to not go as soon as he collapsed on the floor. Within a few minutes of talking and seeing if he still wanted to go, he was fine. There have been days when that was the end. When the comfort of his shoes was enough to send him to his room under a blanket. As he has grown older, and probably, to a lesser extent, as I've gotten better at not pushing my own agenda, he has become less stuck in his unhappiness. It goes for both of them working out issues together, as well. There are moments when I am nearby and I can hear tensions growing, when I can also hear them begin to look for solutions together to lessen the tension.
Schuyler
www.waynforth.blogspot.com
===========
My main energy robber is when my kids start to fight and bicker between
each other...I have 5 children, 3 of them very close in age and they
are constantly going form being "best friends" to hating each other...I
am hearing it go on all day, 24/7 and it makes me really wonder what
sane mother would ever want to stay home and homeschool full time? it
leaves me feeling the need for a nap(which is impossible with 5 kids)I
mean it's enough to drive even a saint to drink!! lol I feel like the
more time we spend together and the more we get to know each other, the
more bickering happens...I don't want to feel like the only mom dealing
with this....does anyone have any advice?
------------------------------------
Yahoo! Groups Links
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]