Christy Putnam

Are there any national (or even semi-local) unschooling groups for teens to
connect (online and off)? I don't want to make a big deal out of ages but
my 13 year old is still in the schools 'separate-by-age' mindset. Though he
hangs out with all ages in our local unschooling group during our
get-togethers and is generally fine with all ages in that environment, there
aren't any active teens within our group so he is clinging to the friends he
has from school (not real great influences). Right now I feel like we are
drifting farther apart instead of closer together because of his feelings
that teens are "supposed to be this way." I would like for him to make
healthier, more respectful connections with teens that don't have such
issues with other ages or parents to get a better grasp on what I mean when
I tell him I want us to be able to talk, hang out, be a family that respects
each other. Right now he pretty much just dismisses what I say because
'teens aren't supposed to like, get along with or even care about their
family.' Anyway, I know there are an abundance of teens in the unschooling
world, where do they congregate and how does one touch base with them?


With Utmost Gratitude,
Christy Putnam
Funschooling Mom to Seth (13) , Aden (3) & Baby Putnam (arriving 8/08)
Funloving Wife to Chet (7/4/04)
<http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-T5EDDQohfrQSzRSxKyT.uBV3VXEhgoA5> Peek into
my sanity (or insanity)...
<http://abundantcuriosity.blogspot.com/> My New Blogspot
<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FYI-OKC/> Funschooling Young Individuals:
FYI-OKC
<http://www.livetotalwellness.com/christy> Live Total Wellness

"I am of a "free-lance educator" variety. My children and I work together to
create avenues for learning that are mutually satisfying." ~ Hygeia
Halfmoon, PhD
Family Affirmation: Our family will be debt free and moved into our very
own, easily affordable, comfortable and secure home, close to friends by May
31, 2008.

<http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/> pregnancy calendar



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

kel9769

Hi Christy
I would reccomend looking into Not Back to School Camp if it is
something that your son would be interested in and you could manage
it. Also if you can get to an unschooling conference I hear those
are great. My daughter is 15 and went to camp last year. It was
her first chance to meet other unschooled teens and it helped her a
lot to see a different view of things. She especially enjoyed
talking to kids who had never been to school. She was really
interested in how different their point of view was. She also was
able to keep in touch with them through IM and my space. She has
even recieved and sent actual letters, through the mail! We
haven't been to a conference yet but we are going to one in May and
are really looking forward to it.

Liz and I have talked a lot about the difference in how teens are
expected to be by society and the difference in our relationship.
There are some things that she plays the teen card on like picking
up after herself or remembering things. There are some differences
we both notice specifically because she is not in school though.
She is not caught up in the typical teen girl drama and our
relationship is much more peaceful. Some of it is just the way she
is, a lot of it is me changing my perception and some of it is not
being in school.

How long has your sone been out of school? It takes some time to
change those mindsets. Also giving him the chance to be around
other unschooled teens would probably help.
Kelly

Lisa

One of my daughter's friends is this way with her mom (still in public
school) her mom often comments "I will be glad when she's past this
teen depression I hate everybody and everything stage and becomes a
human being again" ARGHHHHH!!! Drives me insane! Funny when this
very neat kid is at my house we have wonderful conversations and
interactions. I expect to enjoy visitors in my home and yet sadly
her mom thinks teens should make all parents miserable and has
fostered an environment at her house of animosity rather than
cooperation just because she became a teenager. This is also the
same mom that says that kids/teens are not to be trusted because they
will NOT choose to do the right thing and have to be "made" to by
being policed constantly by adults and made to live by rules! UGH!
Oh and the drama that goes on in this house... the mom is worse than
the kids ever dreamed of being! Every disagreement the kids have with
friends the mom freaks out and calls the other parent, the other kid
etc and gets completely involved in it...most of the time it's a
normal disagreement between friends or a miscommunication that is
easily solved by the people involved without any interference.
I do think that schools and even television portray this idea that
teens and parents should be alienated and that it's weird if a teen
likes their parents or if parents like their teen. It's a hard
mindset to change once a person is saturated with it.

Lisa Blocker
(who is still trying to get over the new neighbor's apology that her
12 yr old son doesn't like to play with girls so will likely not be a
chum for my 12 yr old daughter but her 6 yr old daughter will be happy
to play with my 6 yr old son since she doesn't care yet)

Christy Putnam

Thanks Kelly for your reply!
~~~~ looking into Not Back to School Camp if it is
something that your son would be interested in and you could manage
it. ~~~~
I had kind of forgotten about that so I looked it up last night and it is
pricey - not just the camp but travel to get there. My DH and I are trying
to figure out how we can make it work and are going to bring it up with
Seth. He loves going to camps so I have a feeling he will want to.
~~~~Also if you can get to an unschooling conference~~~~
We went to the Rethinking Education conference the last 2 years and this
year since I will have just had a baby we aren't planning to attend. Seth
really wants to go so I have asked some of my friends to be his surrogate
parent if they decide to go but they haven't decided on going yet.
~~~~a conference yet but we are going to one in May~~~~~
What conference is in May?

~~~~talked a lot about the difference in how teens are expected to be by
society and the difference in our relationship.~~~~
I plan on chatting with Seth very soon about all this. We had a talk about
2 weeks ago about some of the stuff we have gone through recently and it was
a good talk.
~~~~How long has your son been out of school?~~~~
This is his 3rd year out of school but with clinging on to the school
relationship he had (not very healthy ones to begin with), I think it is
taking him longer to let go of the schoolish/societal things.



With Utmost Gratitude,
Christy Putnam
Funschooling Mom to Seth (13) , Aden (3) & Baby Putnam (arriving 8/08)
Funloving Wife to Chet (7/4/04)
<http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-T5EDDQohfrQSzRSxKyT.uBV3VXEhgoA5> Peek into
my sanity (or insanity)...
<http://abundantcuriosity.blogspot.com/> My New Blogspot
<http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FYI-OKC/> Funschooling Young Individuals:
FYI-OKC
<http://www.livetotalwellness.com/christy> Live Total Wellness

"I am of a "free-lance educator" variety. My children and I work together to
create avenues for learning that are mutually satisfying." ~ Hygeia
Halfmoon, PhD
Family Affirmation: Our family will be debt free and moved into our very
own, easily affordable, comfortable and secure home, close to friends by May
31, 2008.

<http://pregnancy.baby-gaga.com/> pregnancy calendar



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

kel9769

> ~~~~ looking into Not Back to School Camp if it is
> something that your son would be interested in and you could
manage
> it. ~~~~
> I had kind of forgotten about that so I looked it up last night
and it is
> pricey - not just the camp but travel to get there. My DH and I
are trying
> to figure out how we can make it work and are going to bring it up
with
> Seth.

Last year Liz had work trade that covered half the cost of camp.
She did 20 hours of work during the week of camp in the kitchen.
She really enjoyed it and it was a big help to me. She offered to
apply for a full work trade this year but I asked her not to this
year.


>
> What conference is in May?

We are going to the North East Unschooling conference is in Peabody
Mass.

>
> ~~~~talked a lot about the difference in how teens are expected to
be by
> society and the difference in our relationship.~~~~
> I plan on chatting with Seth very soon about all this. We had a
talk about
> 2 weeks ago about some of the stuff we have gone through recently
and it was
> a good talk.

I think watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer together prompted that
discussion. I was totally irritated by how whiny and dramatic one
of the characters was being and I was glad she wasn't like that.
Liz said that's because she isn't in school that a lot of 15 year
old girls really are like that. That led into talking about
societies expectations etc.

Kelly