Angry about food
Adrean Clark
The kids and I went to the food store today. We bought some gummis,
bread, pop tarts, cereal, rice milk, peanut butter crackers.
We went to soccer and had some crackers and gummis. They had bananas
and a drink after soccer. Home again and I try to fix some chicken
with rice.
The kids kept going at the gummis. They're all gone now. I'm angry
because it's gone and the chicken and rice is in the oven. They will
likely snub it for two reasons. It looks "weird" and they're full from
the snacky foods they had, mostly sugar. I understand kids can be
ravenous but I'm trying my best here!
They picked out some food, mostly the junky items themselves. I try to
provide meals that they'd like, and try to incorporate vitamins in
them. I put barley grass onto their peanut butter sandwiches! I am so
fed up at them wanting sugar and feeling stuck between my ineptitude
and my ideal of unschooling food . Finish, enough. I feel powerless
because I don't want to control the foods and leave them craving it
even more than they already are now. And I most certainly can't shove
vegetables down their throat!
I feel so inept at cooking because we have. divergent needs and I can
barely meet it on top of everything else. I'm angry because I feel
powerless and inept, trying to scrounge together meals and not find
myself still hungry at night because of the slim pickings. How can I
keep trying new foods and having them end up in the garbage because of
snubbings? What am I doing wrong here?!
Adrean
bread, pop tarts, cereal, rice milk, peanut butter crackers.
We went to soccer and had some crackers and gummis. They had bananas
and a drink after soccer. Home again and I try to fix some chicken
with rice.
The kids kept going at the gummis. They're all gone now. I'm angry
because it's gone and the chicken and rice is in the oven. They will
likely snub it for two reasons. It looks "weird" and they're full from
the snacky foods they had, mostly sugar. I understand kids can be
ravenous but I'm trying my best here!
They picked out some food, mostly the junky items themselves. I try to
provide meals that they'd like, and try to incorporate vitamins in
them. I put barley grass onto their peanut butter sandwiches! I am so
fed up at them wanting sugar and feeling stuck between my ineptitude
and my ideal of unschooling food . Finish, enough. I feel powerless
because I don't want to control the foods and leave them craving it
even more than they already are now. And I most certainly can't shove
vegetables down their throat!
I feel so inept at cooking because we have. divergent needs and I can
barely meet it on top of everything else. I'm angry because I feel
powerless and inept, trying to scrounge together meals and not find
myself still hungry at night because of the slim pickings. How can I
keep trying new foods and having them end up in the garbage because of
snubbings? What am I doing wrong here?!
Adrean
On 3/25/08, diana jenner <hahamommy@...> wrote:
> On Tue, Mar 25, 2008 at 3:11 PM, Pamela Sorooshian <pamsoroosh@...>
> wrote:
>
> > Don't tell kids things they already know. It is insulting. Remember
> > that they (like all of us) know things that they may not always
> > exemplify. They're LEARNING - they're are working on it. It is their
> > life - let them work on it some without feeling like they're always
> > being watched and corrected.
> >
> > Stop before you talk. Ask yourself, "Am I about to tell him something
> > new?" If not, don't say it. Either he's not ready to understand it or
> > he already knows it. Either way, repeating yourself is truly worse
> > than useless, it makes it less and less likely your child will listen
> > to your advice as he/she gets older.
> >
> >
> >
>
>
> I think it's a gift when your loved one (a kid) lets you know when you're
> turning into Charlie Brown's Teacher (an old cartoon where the teacher's
> voice was represented by a "mwah, mwah, mwah" sound) -- my friends aren't
> often this informative with me :D (I tend to miss the cues)
> I like to bring up situations to discuss when we're doing something totally
> unrelated (i.e. driving- We love talking in the car!! or while baking some
> goodies -- hard to get crabby when surrounded by delicious scents!), when
> we're in the midst of calm and happy. Hayden (9.5) is lately receptive to
> some guided imagery with me - we were headed out to a Bender Party (Yay
> Futurama's back!!!) where he'd be the only kid. I asked if he was gonna have
> a good time, he said, I think so, I asked, Can you see yourself having a
> good time? He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, smiled and said YEAH! --
> and he did :)
> It's imperative to remember "Don't take it
> personally<http://www.miguelruiz.com/fouragreements.html>"
> in the moment (and in every moment for that matter ::bg::) -- he's sharing
> *his* experience, it doesn't have to look anything like your experience...
> If what your child is reflecting back at you is not what you're intending to
> show them, change what you're showing them!
> --
> ~diana :)
> xoxoxoxo
> hannahbearski.blogspot.com
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
--
Sent from Gmail for mobile | mobile.google.com
[email protected]
I can't help but wonder, what is barley grass, and why in the world would you want to put it on a perfectly wonderful peanut butter sandwich?!?!? What I see here is that you have elevated food to an issue *beyond* food, and you are patrolling the playing field with a clipboard and a whistle, wanting to call the shots. Let food be food and give up your agenda. Your kids obviously sense your uneasiness and your fears. Let them go.
Carol
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Carol
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pamela Sorooshian
On Mar 25, 2008, at 5:27 PM, Adrean Clark wrote:
Do old familiar foods that you know the kids like, most of the time.
Once in a while introduce something new alongside the old and familiar
(and simple) and notice whether the kids like it or not. If it is a
hit, add it to your repertoire.
Kids aren't likely to be full for very long no matter how many gummies
they eat, by the way. They go right through them, pretty quickly.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> How can IWhat you're doing wrong is trying new foods too often, maybe?
> keep trying new foods and having them end up in the garbage because of
> snubbings? What am I doing wrong here?!
Do old familiar foods that you know the kids like, most of the time.
Once in a while introduce something new alongside the old and familiar
(and simple) and notice whether the kids like it or not. If it is a
hit, add it to your repertoire.
Kids aren't likely to be full for very long no matter how many gummies
they eat, by the way. They go right through them, pretty quickly.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joyce Fetteroll
On Mar 25, 2008, at 8:27 PM, Adrean Clark wrote:
dinner?
If angry that they're all gone ... know what? It's just hit me
yesterday that I've heard people say all my life "You shouldn't eat
those all today. You won't have any tomorrow." And while it sounds
good, the times I've said "Gee, I wish I had what I finished
yesterday," are far out numbered by the times I've found something
spoiled in the refrigerator that I had saved for later but then
forgotten about. I'd *much* rather eat as much as I want -- even if
it's all of it -- and not risk forgetting about it.
If angry that they're full, recognize that kids metabolisms are
different. They operate much better with small snacks throughout the
day. (It's actually healthier for adults too.) Three large meals a
day isn't natural. (It's just convenient.) It's much better to have
the refrigerator and snack shelf full of easy to grab healthy snacks
than to expect kids to wait for a sit down dinner. Bring a "monkey
platter" to them (tray of finger foods) when they play.
They're horrible things. It sets others up to fail. It's playing a
game with rules you've made up with others who don't even know
they're participating. How can they not fail?
Make enough so you have more than enough to freeze an extra meal for
you and your husband. Let the kids eat what they want of it without
the dose of anger that they aren't doing what you want. Then you have
an easy dinner another night for the adults and can have more energy
for the foods the kids like.
Rethink. Trying to make others conform to your expectations will make
you and them angry.
assume they'll like them.
to get a full complement everyday maybe find a vitamin they like and
that will take at least that pressure off of you. (Ask on the list
for vitamins kids like.)
I think you've got yourself locked into the idea of one three course
dinner. Or something. You've got some rules in your head that are
getting in the way of all the possibilities of helping people get
food into them. Make extra of the dinners you like and freeze a
dinner portion for the nights when you're making stuff you don't
like. Do the same for the kids. Make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
You've got bindings all over you that you don't realize are there.
You'll need to see them and let go of them to open yourself to new
ideas.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> I'm angryTruly angry that they're all gone? Or angry that they're full before
> because it's gone
dinner?
If angry that they're all gone ... know what? It's just hit me
yesterday that I've heard people say all my life "You shouldn't eat
those all today. You won't have any tomorrow." And while it sounds
good, the times I've said "Gee, I wish I had what I finished
yesterday," are far out numbered by the times I've found something
spoiled in the refrigerator that I had saved for later but then
forgotten about. I'd *much* rather eat as much as I want -- even if
it's all of it -- and not risk forgetting about it.
If angry that they're full, recognize that kids metabolisms are
different. They operate much better with small snacks throughout the
day. (It's actually healthier for adults too.) Three large meals a
day isn't natural. (It's just convenient.) It's much better to have
the refrigerator and snack shelf full of easy to grab healthy snacks
than to expect kids to wait for a sit down dinner. Bring a "monkey
platter" to them (tray of finger foods) when they play.
> and the chicken and rice is in the oven.Expectations.
They're horrible things. It sets others up to fail. It's playing a
game with rules you've made up with others who don't even know
they're participating. How can they not fail?
Make enough so you have more than enough to freeze an extra meal for
you and your husband. Let the kids eat what they want of it without
the dose of anger that they aren't doing what you want. Then you have
an easy dinner another night for the adults and can have more energy
for the foods the kids like.
Rethink. Trying to make others conform to your expectations will make
you and them angry.
> I try toMake meals that they do like. Add foods that they can try. But don't
> provide meals that they'd like,
assume they'll like them.
> and try to incorporate vitamins inI suspect you're over thinking the vitamins. While it would be great
> them. I put barley grass onto their peanut butter sandwiches!
to get a full complement everyday maybe find a vitamin they like and
that will take at least that pressure off of you. (Ask on the list
for vitamins kids like.)
> I feel???
> powerless and inept, trying to scrounge together meals and not find
> myself still hungry at night because of the slim pickings.
I think you've got yourself locked into the idea of one three course
dinner. Or something. You've got some rules in your head that are
getting in the way of all the possibilities of helping people get
food into them. Make extra of the dinners you like and freeze a
dinner portion for the nights when you're making stuff you don't
like. Do the same for the kids. Make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
You've got bindings all over you that you don't realize are there.
You'll need to see them and let go of them to open yourself to new
ideas.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
carnationsgalore
> I'm angry because it's gone and the chicken and rice is in theMy family used to eat dinner together. It was important to my DH
> oven. They will likely snub it for two reasons.
and myself because we didn't have that as children. And over time
we realized that while *WE* like eating together, the kids usually
have other ideas in mind. We also were bummed that we weren't
getting to eat the kinds of meals we wanted because the kids didn't
like the same foods. We were getting tired of fried or baked
chicken, green beans, and boxed pasta. Then we realized that we
didn't need to all eat the same thing at the same time!
Did they have to eat the chicken and rice at the same time as you?
Couldn't you have put it in the refrigerator and then heat it up
when they were ready for it? Can you cook it differently so it
doesn't look weird? I make a chicken and rice dish and my ds11
asked me recently to start cooking the chicken separately from the
rice. It will mean messing up one more pot. No big deal.
I like the idea of having healthy foods as snacks. We do that too.
I keep lean meat, cheese, crackers, yogurt, popcorn, and fruits and
veggies (dd10 loves raw veggies with ranch dressing) where the kids
can just reach in and grab what they want when they are hungry. I
also keep their favorite juices/drinks where they can reach them.
Beth M.
Karen Swanay
Angry about food. I totally get that. Let me tell you what I have
learned this year. First, let me say I do all the cooking and the
washing up. It's easy to get miffed when I spend 3 hours making
something that only one person will eat. It's also easy to get ticked
at the idea that I have to spend 3 hours making 5 different meals and
cleaning them up. There are lots of reasons for that and they are all
INTERNAL. I have some *issues* related to being "just a mommy" which
I need to get a handle on. But anyway, I've been where you are,
although I didn't obsess over vitamins. I've also seen my kids blow
through a box of gummies or whatever in 10 minutes and then have them
lament there aren't more available.
Now I *could* buy 50 boxes of them but they are expensive and that's
not in the budget. So where I can I buy those types of things in
bulk. My boys are 11 and 9 and they don't need the cute little
packages anymore. When they were younger they liked having Disney
characters or whatever, but now that they are older, they just want
the gummies so they are cool with just plain old bears. So consider
purchasing things in bulk to make your dollar stretch. Now for the
boys they need clearly demarcated amounts of things or they will
fight. So I buy them and then put them into containers for each kid
and they are marked so that if John eats all his, that's that. Liam
will still have his and I don't have the "Yeah but he ate almost ALL
of them!!!" This works. It also makes it possible for the kids to
use portion control if they so wish. They are getting more aware of
being fat/thin healthy/unhealthy and making good choices and so if
they have say 1/2 a pound of gummies we look up what a serving would
be, get them something to measure it out with and then they belong to
them. If they want to eat 1/2 a lb in 30 minutes that's their
business. After all, if I want to eat 15 ice creams in one day who
will stop me? No one. Once you let go of this area you and your kids
will be happier and you won't see as much gorging. But do buy in bulk
unless the little packages are important to your kids.
Now, in January I brought home Shun, Xian Yi aka Morgan from Guangzhou
China. She has a VERY short list of what she considers edible. And
because we are bonding and I know a lot about integrating an
internationally adopted child into the family, I knew not to push the
food thing. Besides, there is a mental shift that happens when you
stop thinking "Little brat won't eat that!" to "She doesn't believe
that's food." And there isn't anything I can do about it. She eats
what she eats. Slowly her list is getting longer but it's a very slow
process. And I was *TOTALLY* OK with it. Well if it's OK for this
child why not my kids? Why was I putting pressure on them to eat?
After much internal examination all my "yeah but..."s were making room
for *my* issues.
So I guess I'm trying to say, look at the issues you think you have,
and then be honest with yourself about whether they are real
family/kid issues like budget or allergies or if they are your issues
(which are just as real only you have to work on them) like feeling
taken for granted or reliving food issues from your childhood.
Hang in there, this one isn't easy in our culture. Food is often
emotionally charged from our families. I've been dedicated to trying
to keep food as food and NOT a punisher or a reward. Food is simply
fuel.
Karen
learned this year. First, let me say I do all the cooking and the
washing up. It's easy to get miffed when I spend 3 hours making
something that only one person will eat. It's also easy to get ticked
at the idea that I have to spend 3 hours making 5 different meals and
cleaning them up. There are lots of reasons for that and they are all
INTERNAL. I have some *issues* related to being "just a mommy" which
I need to get a handle on. But anyway, I've been where you are,
although I didn't obsess over vitamins. I've also seen my kids blow
through a box of gummies or whatever in 10 minutes and then have them
lament there aren't more available.
Now I *could* buy 50 boxes of them but they are expensive and that's
not in the budget. So where I can I buy those types of things in
bulk. My boys are 11 and 9 and they don't need the cute little
packages anymore. When they were younger they liked having Disney
characters or whatever, but now that they are older, they just want
the gummies so they are cool with just plain old bears. So consider
purchasing things in bulk to make your dollar stretch. Now for the
boys they need clearly demarcated amounts of things or they will
fight. So I buy them and then put them into containers for each kid
and they are marked so that if John eats all his, that's that. Liam
will still have his and I don't have the "Yeah but he ate almost ALL
of them!!!" This works. It also makes it possible for the kids to
use portion control if they so wish. They are getting more aware of
being fat/thin healthy/unhealthy and making good choices and so if
they have say 1/2 a pound of gummies we look up what a serving would
be, get them something to measure it out with and then they belong to
them. If they want to eat 1/2 a lb in 30 minutes that's their
business. After all, if I want to eat 15 ice creams in one day who
will stop me? No one. Once you let go of this area you and your kids
will be happier and you won't see as much gorging. But do buy in bulk
unless the little packages are important to your kids.
Now, in January I brought home Shun, Xian Yi aka Morgan from Guangzhou
China. She has a VERY short list of what she considers edible. And
because we are bonding and I know a lot about integrating an
internationally adopted child into the family, I knew not to push the
food thing. Besides, there is a mental shift that happens when you
stop thinking "Little brat won't eat that!" to "She doesn't believe
that's food." And there isn't anything I can do about it. She eats
what she eats. Slowly her list is getting longer but it's a very slow
process. And I was *TOTALLY* OK with it. Well if it's OK for this
child why not my kids? Why was I putting pressure on them to eat?
After much internal examination all my "yeah but..."s were making room
for *my* issues.
So I guess I'm trying to say, look at the issues you think you have,
and then be honest with yourself about whether they are real
family/kid issues like budget or allergies or if they are your issues
(which are just as real only you have to work on them) like feeling
taken for granted or reliving food issues from your childhood.
Hang in there, this one isn't easy in our culture. Food is often
emotionally charged from our families. I've been dedicated to trying
to keep food as food and NOT a punisher or a reward. Food is simply
fuel.
Karen
carenkh
We went to my sister's for Easter. While we were there, I was telling
her that on Monday nights, we usually eat dinner in front of the TV
and watch some really great shows on CBS. I told her it took me a
little while to let go of the false guilt I had about that - you hear
about eating dinner in front of the TV like it's some kind of horrid
crime. But when I really looked at *our* reality, I saw that we
chatted about the shows, laughed together a lot - it is a connecting
time, and a lot of fun. (How *did* Ted Moseby meet his kids' mother?)
I had forgotten, but she reminded me - before my parents were
divorced, we had dinner together every single night. But, because my
father didn't like chattering going on while he ate, we couldn't talk!
There was a RULE against talking at the dinner table, unless you were
asking someone to pass something. Oh, my gosh - we laughed SO hard at
that absurdity! I could remember we developed this whole communication
system of looks and eye movements...
We were saying I bet there are some families who've heard those
commercials about how important it is to eat dinner together as a
family, at the table, who've made the experience just as miserable as
it was for us. (You sit down and eat your dinner! This is family time,
dammit!!) But the truth is - if you're connecting deeply throughout
the day, dinner time loses some of that feeling of *necessity* about
it. It's not such a *requirement*.
peace,
Caren
--- In [email protected], "carnationsgalore"
<addled.homemaker@...> wrote:
her that on Monday nights, we usually eat dinner in front of the TV
and watch some really great shows on CBS. I told her it took me a
little while to let go of the false guilt I had about that - you hear
about eating dinner in front of the TV like it's some kind of horrid
crime. But when I really looked at *our* reality, I saw that we
chatted about the shows, laughed together a lot - it is a connecting
time, and a lot of fun. (How *did* Ted Moseby meet his kids' mother?)
I had forgotten, but she reminded me - before my parents were
divorced, we had dinner together every single night. But, because my
father didn't like chattering going on while he ate, we couldn't talk!
There was a RULE against talking at the dinner table, unless you were
asking someone to pass something. Oh, my gosh - we laughed SO hard at
that absurdity! I could remember we developed this whole communication
system of looks and eye movements...
We were saying I bet there are some families who've heard those
commercials about how important it is to eat dinner together as a
family, at the table, who've made the experience just as miserable as
it was for us. (You sit down and eat your dinner! This is family time,
dammit!!) But the truth is - if you're connecting deeply throughout
the day, dinner time loses some of that feeling of *necessity* about
it. It's not such a *requirement*.
peace,
Caren
--- In [email protected], "carnationsgalore"
<addled.homemaker@...> wrote:
>
> My family used to eat dinner together. It was important to my DH
> and myself because we didn't have that as children. And over time
> we realized that while *WE* like eating together, the kids usually
> have other ideas in mind. We also were bummed that we weren't
> getting to eat the kinds of meals we wanted because the kids didn't
> like the same foods. We were getting tired of fried or baked
> chicken, green beans, and boxed pasta. Then we realized that we
> didn't need to all eat the same thing at the same time!
marji
At 20:27 3/25/2008, you wrote:
to shift your perspective and intention around the entire food
issue. Yes, you want to nourish their bodies, and to that end,
having quick-to-grab, healthy food items **that you know they like**
around is really good. But, if you can manage to shift your
intention to having food be just one more avenue by which they feel
loved by you, if you can intend that food will always (or almost
always) be prepared with love and received by them with love, I
believe you may be able to completely turn this issue around!
You cannot control them, but you *can* control yourself. You *can*
choose how you want to respond, how you want to feel, what foods you
want to prepare; you are free to choose all those things! Your free
to let angry feelings pass through you and choose a better
feeling. And, remember that when you do feel angry about food or
about anything, you are choosing that, too, although by default. You
don't have to believe everything you think!
If you set the intention to approach your food issues in a peaceful,
loving way, you will have already made a giant step towards
*allowing* a better experience for everyone. Anyway, it's worth a
try, and becoming more mindful about something like that really can't
hurt. Right?
~Marji
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>The kids kept going at the gummis. They're all gone now. I'm angryAmongst the other great ideas you got, another idea might be simply
>because it's gone and the chicken and rice is in the oven. They will
>likely snub it for two reasons. It looks "weird" and they're full from
>the snacky foods they had, mostly sugar. I understand kids can be
>ravenous but I'm trying my best here!
to shift your perspective and intention around the entire food
issue. Yes, you want to nourish their bodies, and to that end,
having quick-to-grab, healthy food items **that you know they like**
around is really good. But, if you can manage to shift your
intention to having food be just one more avenue by which they feel
loved by you, if you can intend that food will always (or almost
always) be prepared with love and received by them with love, I
believe you may be able to completely turn this issue around!
You cannot control them, but you *can* control yourself. You *can*
choose how you want to respond, how you want to feel, what foods you
want to prepare; you are free to choose all those things! Your free
to let angry feelings pass through you and choose a better
feeling. And, remember that when you do feel angry about food or
about anything, you are choosing that, too, although by default. You
don't have to believe everything you think!
If you set the intention to approach your food issues in a peaceful,
loving way, you will have already made a giant step towards
*allowing* a better experience for everyone. Anyway, it's worth a
try, and becoming more mindful about something like that really can't
hurt. Right?
~Marji
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ren Allen
~~ The kids kept going at the gummis. They're all gone now. I'm
angry because it's gone and the chicken and rice is in the oven. They
will likely snub it for two reasons. It looks "weird" and they're full
from the snacky foods they had, mostly sugar. I understand kids can be
ravenous but I'm trying my best here!~~
You've set them up for certain behaviors and now you're angry at them.
They're going at the gummis because they must know it's a limited
food. They are trying to get their fill before you change your mind or
they're gone. Most people will gorge on anything they love that they
can't have access to when they want it.
You're angry because they're acting like normal human beings. If you
want them to have access to healthier snacks, make them more readily
available. What if you'd made up a platter of the gummis and a bunch
of other yummy finger foods? Kids shouldn't be expected to wait for
chicken and rice when they're hungry NOW. Food should be readily
available all day so they can learn to balance their bodies.
The gummis would probably disappear first because it's a desirable
food that isn't available often (it sounds like). But eventually, as
they trust you to give them access to the foods they choose, it will
slow down.
~~ I am so
desirable than others. If you don't have the budget for a lot of
processed foods, you could make the snacks available by baking more of
what they love. Make food available. Make it yummy. Involve the kids
in food prep and they may come up with some great ideas.
Some words in your post jumped out at me:
I feel powerless
I feel so inept at cooking
I'm angry
What I'm getting from this is a frustration about life in general and
it seems like the kids making some choices you are used to controlling
is some kind of trigger. Is that possible? Could it be that you're
already feeling overwhelmed and out of control and the fact that they
aren't happily asking for broccoli for every meal is making
exascerbating your frustrations?
They can only BE exactly where they are right now. Same with you. If
frustration over not being able to afford better/more food is
trickling into frustration towards them (for simply being themselves)
then it's time to self-examine.
It may not be about food at all. This could be a control issue.
If your budget is so tight that you will truly be out of food until
more money comes, then you will have to be really honest with them
about what you can and can't afford. Let them be part of the solution
but don't make them feel responsible for the money issues, or for
eating the gummis too fast. They SHOULD eat them fast if they aren't
going to get more for a while!
Find their favorite treats, make sure you focus on making as much from
scratch to save money (or find a way to make more money) and dont'
make anything limited or controlled. Money limits are natural, Mom
saying "no" is arbitrary.
Owning your issues is a great way to keep your frustrations from
spilling over to your children. It's not about them, or the food, it's
about your ideas about food and control...
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
angry because it's gone and the chicken and rice is in the oven. They
will likely snub it for two reasons. It looks "weird" and they're full
from the snacky foods they had, mostly sugar. I understand kids can be
ravenous but I'm trying my best here!~~
You've set them up for certain behaviors and now you're angry at them.
They're going at the gummis because they must know it's a limited
food. They are trying to get their fill before you change your mind or
they're gone. Most people will gorge on anything they love that they
can't have access to when they want it.
You're angry because they're acting like normal human beings. If you
want them to have access to healthier snacks, make them more readily
available. What if you'd made up a platter of the gummis and a bunch
of other yummy finger foods? Kids shouldn't be expected to wait for
chicken and rice when they're hungry NOW. Food should be readily
available all day so they can learn to balance their bodies.
The gummis would probably disappear first because it's a desirable
food that isn't available often (it sounds like). But eventually, as
they trust you to give them access to the foods they choose, it will
slow down.
~~ I am so
> fed up at them wanting sugar and feeling stuck between my ineptitudeYou've created a reality in which they believe those foods are more
> and my ideal of unschooling food .~~
desirable than others. If you don't have the budget for a lot of
processed foods, you could make the snacks available by baking more of
what they love. Make food available. Make it yummy. Involve the kids
in food prep and they may come up with some great ideas.
Some words in your post jumped out at me:
I feel powerless
I feel so inept at cooking
I'm angry
What I'm getting from this is a frustration about life in general and
it seems like the kids making some choices you are used to controlling
is some kind of trigger. Is that possible? Could it be that you're
already feeling overwhelmed and out of control and the fact that they
aren't happily asking for broccoli for every meal is making
exascerbating your frustrations?
They can only BE exactly where they are right now. Same with you. If
frustration over not being able to afford better/more food is
trickling into frustration towards them (for simply being themselves)
then it's time to self-examine.
It may not be about food at all. This could be a control issue.
If your budget is so tight that you will truly be out of food until
more money comes, then you will have to be really honest with them
about what you can and can't afford. Let them be part of the solution
but don't make them feel responsible for the money issues, or for
eating the gummis too fast. They SHOULD eat them fast if they aren't
going to get more for a while!
Find their favorite treats, make sure you focus on making as much from
scratch to save money (or find a way to make more money) and dont'
make anything limited or controlled. Money limits are natural, Mom
saying "no" is arbitrary.
Owning your issues is a great way to keep your frustrations from
spilling over to your children. It's not about them, or the food, it's
about your ideas about food and control...
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Ren Allen
~~They will
likely snub it for two reasons. It looks "weird" and they're full from
the snacky foods they had, mostly sugar.~~
First of all, if they've eaten a lot of sugar their bodies will WANT
protein of some kind really soon!
Secondly, are you fixing the food for yourself or for all of you? If a
friend came over and didn't like chicken would you be offended and
angry? I wouldn't eat it.
Ask yourself what the goal is...
is it to create happy memories surrounding food and spend time eating
together in love, or is it about them loving everything you cook so
your ego is filled up?
They won't love everything you cook. Accept that. It's ok.
If your goal is filling them up with love and nutrients, then find
ways to do that and quit attaching ego to whether they like foods or not.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
likely snub it for two reasons. It looks "weird" and they're full from
the snacky foods they had, mostly sugar.~~
First of all, if they've eaten a lot of sugar their bodies will WANT
protein of some kind really soon!
Secondly, are you fixing the food for yourself or for all of you? If a
friend came over and didn't like chicken would you be offended and
angry? I wouldn't eat it.
Ask yourself what the goal is...
is it to create happy memories surrounding food and spend time eating
together in love, or is it about them loving everything you cook so
your ego is filled up?
They won't love everything you cook. Accept that. It's ok.
If your goal is filling them up with love and nutrients, then find
ways to do that and quit attaching ego to whether they like foods or not.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Adrean Clark
I appreciate very much what you all have written. Thank you!
There are certainly some food issues with me. One is a limited budget
on food stamps - the other is my worry abt the kids not getting enough
vitamins. Armand (one of the twins) had a serious nosebleed a couple
weeks ago that scared me. It is possibly a vitamin K deficency, which
is why I was putting a sprinkling of barley grass on the PB
sandwiches. (Organic barley, dark leafy veg equals vit K I figured)
The boys like Yummi Bears vitamins so that works so far, never mind the cost :)
Ofc I have the voice of my mother pointing out their feeding habits
and how pale they are and any new behaviors, etc. She said very impt
to eat dinner together, family time. MY memories of "family supper
time" is of feeling frustrated abt veggies and about the lack of
signing among other family members. My boys chatter without signing
in front of me at the table, possibly because we lived with them for a
while but that is another issue entirely. (The more signers around the
more they'll sign I figure) :)
It's hard when the kids say they're hungry so much (yes they want
protein after the sugar) but snub the "healthy" food. I think I'll
take the advice to break things up in smaller frequent meals and beef
up the snacks some. Will think abt and try to resolve MY issues too.
Adrean
There are certainly some food issues with me. One is a limited budget
on food stamps - the other is my worry abt the kids not getting enough
vitamins. Armand (one of the twins) had a serious nosebleed a couple
weeks ago that scared me. It is possibly a vitamin K deficency, which
is why I was putting a sprinkling of barley grass on the PB
sandwiches. (Organic barley, dark leafy veg equals vit K I figured)
The boys like Yummi Bears vitamins so that works so far, never mind the cost :)
Ofc I have the voice of my mother pointing out their feeding habits
and how pale they are and any new behaviors, etc. She said very impt
to eat dinner together, family time. MY memories of "family supper
time" is of feeling frustrated abt veggies and about the lack of
signing among other family members. My boys chatter without signing
in front of me at the table, possibly because we lived with them for a
while but that is another issue entirely. (The more signers around the
more they'll sign I figure) :)
It's hard when the kids say they're hungry so much (yes they want
protein after the sugar) but snub the "healthy" food. I think I'll
take the advice to break things up in smaller frequent meals and beef
up the snacks some. Will think abt and try to resolve MY issues too.
Adrean
On 3/26/08, Ren Allen <starsuncloud@...> wrote:
> ~~They will
> likely snub it for two reasons. It looks "weird" and they're full from
> the snacky foods they had, mostly sugar.~~
>
> First of all, if they've eaten a lot of sugar their bodies will WANT
> protein of some kind really soon!
>
> Secondly, are you fixing the food for yourself or for all of you? If a
> friend came over and didn't like chicken would you be offended and
> angry? I wouldn't eat it.
>
> Ask yourself what the goal is...
> is it to create happy memories surrounding food and spend time eating
> together in love, or is it about them loving everything you cook so
> your ego is filled up?
> They won't love everything you cook. Accept that. It's ok.
> If your goal is filling them up with love and nutrients, then find
> ways to do that and quit attaching ego to whether they like foods or not.
>
> Ren
> learninginfreedom.com
>
>
--
Sent from Gmail for mobile | mobile.google.com
Pamela Sorooshian
On Mar 26, 2008, at 6:38 AM, Adrean Clark wrote:
(other than in newborns) because we make vitamin k in our intestines,
even when we don't ingest it.
I'm wondering if you're sort of a hypochondriac? I mean - did you
really jump from nosebleed to vitamin k deficiency on your own?
Wouldn't it be way more likely he had dry nasal passages and/or picked
his nose?
I get the feeling you need to let go of a lot of fear about their
health.
Give them a multivitamin every day (a gummi one <G>). Offer a variety
of foods, but stop trying to figure out if they're getting exactly all
the nutrients you think they need. You're overdoing it.
My nephew has never eaten vegetables. He is 29 years old. He is
superbly healthy - runs 3 or 4 miles almost every day. My niece at
only about 6 foods - flour tortillas, applesauce, macaroni and cheese,
apples, refried beans, cheddar cheese. She's 22 and works out at a gym
and swims regularly. She's healthy as can be. Her eating habits have
changed - she eats lots of variety of things now.
Offer them the foods they love - with your love.
Make oatmeal cookies, offer carrots with ranch dressing dip, have
cheese chunks with crackers, have sliced apples with cinnamon, make
peanut butter balls, freeze grapes, and on and on. There are so many
yummy snack foods - they can live on those and be very very fine!
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> Armand (one of the twins) had a serious nosebleed a coupleDid you get a diagnosis of Vitamin K deficiency? It is rather rare
> weeks ago that scared me. It is possibly a vitamin K deficency, which
> is why I was putting a sprinkling of barley grass on the PB
> sandwiches.
(other than in newborns) because we make vitamin k in our intestines,
even when we don't ingest it.
I'm wondering if you're sort of a hypochondriac? I mean - did you
really jump from nosebleed to vitamin k deficiency on your own?
Wouldn't it be way more likely he had dry nasal passages and/or picked
his nose?
I get the feeling you need to let go of a lot of fear about their
health.
Give them a multivitamin every day (a gummi one <G>). Offer a variety
of foods, but stop trying to figure out if they're getting exactly all
the nutrients you think they need. You're overdoing it.
My nephew has never eaten vegetables. He is 29 years old. He is
superbly healthy - runs 3 or 4 miles almost every day. My niece at
only about 6 foods - flour tortillas, applesauce, macaroni and cheese,
apples, refried beans, cheddar cheese. She's 22 and works out at a gym
and swims regularly. She's healthy as can be. Her eating habits have
changed - she eats lots of variety of things now.
Offer them the foods they love - with your love.
Make oatmeal cookies, offer carrots with ranch dressing dip, have
cheese chunks with crackers, have sliced apples with cinnamon, make
peanut butter balls, freeze grapes, and on and on. There are so many
yummy snack foods - they can live on those and be very very fine!
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Adrean Clark
What are peanut butter balls? Those are good ideas, some I have
offered the kids (they like fresh fruit bowls). Hope to try more of
your ideas.
Adrean
offered the kids (they like fresh fruit bowls). Hope to try more of
your ideas.
Adrean
On 3/27/08, Pamela Sorooshian <pamsoroosh@...> wrote:
>
> On Mar 26, 2008, at 6:38 AM, Adrean Clark wrote:
>
> > Armand (one of the twins) had a serious nosebleed a couple
> > weeks ago that scared me. It is possibly a vitamin K deficency, which
> > is why I was putting a sprinkling of barley grass on the PB
> > sandwiches.
>
> Did you get a diagnosis of Vitamin K deficiency? It is rather rare
> (other than in newborns) because we make vitamin k in our intestines,
> even when we don't ingest it.
>
> I'm wondering if you're sort of a hypochondriac? I mean - did you
> really jump from nosebleed to vitamin k deficiency on your own?
> Wouldn't it be way more likely he had dry nasal passages and/or picked
> his nose?
>
> I get the feeling you need to let go of a lot of fear about their
> health.
>
> Give them a multivitamin every day (a gummi one <G>). Offer a variety
> of foods, but stop trying to figure out if they're getting exactly all
> the nutrients you think they need. You're overdoing it.
>
> My nephew has never eaten vegetables. He is 29 years old. He is
> superbly healthy - runs 3 or 4 miles almost every day. My niece at
> only about 6 foods - flour tortillas, applesauce, macaroni and cheese,
> apples, refried beans, cheddar cheese. She's 22 and works out at a gym
> and swims regularly. She's healthy as can be. Her eating habits have
> changed - she eats lots of variety of things now.
>
> Offer them the foods they love - with your love.
>
> Make oatmeal cookies, offer carrots with ranch dressing dip, have
> cheese chunks with crackers, have sliced apples with cinnamon, make
> peanut butter balls, freeze grapes, and on and on. There are so many
> yummy snack foods - they can live on those and be very very fine!
>
> -pam
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
--
Sent from Gmail for mobile | mobile.google.com
Pamela Sorooshian
Peanut butter, powdered milk, honey -- smush it all together with your
fingers and shape into balls. Refrigerate for a while. I like 'em
frozen, but most people just eat 'em as is.
(Like the details in these instructions? It doesn't much matter - make
them how you like them. I used to like dried blueberries in them -
some people like raisins. You can get really good dried blueberries at
Costco, by the way.)
-pam
fingers and shape into balls. Refrigerate for a while. I like 'em
frozen, but most people just eat 'em as is.
(Like the details in these instructions? It doesn't much matter - make
them how you like them. I used to like dried blueberries in them -
some people like raisins. You can get really good dried blueberries at
Costco, by the way.)
-pam
On Mar 27, 2008, at 6:14 AM, Adrean Clark wrote:
> What are peanut butter balls? Those are good ideas, some I have
> offered the kids (they like fresh fruit bowls). Hope to try more of
> your ideas.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
The Patersons
A really yummy candy is made with
1 cup honey - boil for about 8 minutes - it will bubble up a lot
Then take off the heat and add 1 cup peanut butter and 1 tbsp butter. Pour
into a greased pan and put in the fridge to set. It hard and chewy like
toffee. You might want to cut it into bits before it gets too hard. Yummy.
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Pamela Sorooshian
Sent: Saturday, 29 March 2008 6:49 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [SPAM]Re: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Angry about food
Peanut butter, powdered milk, honey -- smush it all together with your
fingers and shape into balls. Refrigerate for a while. I like 'em
frozen, but most people just eat 'em as is.
(Like the details in these instructions? It doesn't much matter - make
them how you like them. I used to like dried blueberries in them -
some people like raisins. You can get really good dried blueberries at
Costco, by the way.)
-pam
1 cup honey - boil for about 8 minutes - it will bubble up a lot
Then take off the heat and add 1 cup peanut butter and 1 tbsp butter. Pour
into a greased pan and put in the fridge to set. It hard and chewy like
toffee. You might want to cut it into bits before it gets too hard. Yummy.
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Pamela Sorooshian
Sent: Saturday, 29 March 2008 6:49 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [SPAM]Re: [unschoolingbasics] Re: Angry about food
Peanut butter, powdered milk, honey -- smush it all together with your
fingers and shape into balls. Refrigerate for a while. I like 'em
frozen, but most people just eat 'em as is.
(Like the details in these instructions? It doesn't much matter - make
them how you like them. I used to like dried blueberries in them -
some people like raisins. You can get really good dried blueberries at
Costco, by the way.)
-pam
On Mar 27, 2008, at 6:14 AM, Adrean Clark wrote:
> What are peanut butter balls? Those are good ideas, some I have
> offered the kids (they like fresh fruit bowls). Hope to try more of
> your ideas.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Debra Rossing
If you take the PB balls and dip them in melted chocolate - YUM! Just
nuke a cup of semi sweet chocolate chips in a wide container deep enough
to cover the PB balls but not so deep you lose them (more or less chips
depending on how much you need). Set onto parchment or waxed paper and
chill until the chocolate sets.
Deb
**********************************************************************
This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and
intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they
are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify
the system manager.
This footnote also confirms that this email message has been swept by
MIMEsweeper for the presence of computer viruses.
CNC Software, Inc.
www.mastercam.com
**********************************************************************
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
nuke a cup of semi sweet chocolate chips in a wide container deep enough
to cover the PB balls but not so deep you lose them (more or less chips
depending on how much you need). Set onto parchment or waxed paper and
chill until the chocolate sets.
Deb
**********************************************************************
This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and
intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they
are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify
the system manager.
This footnote also confirms that this email message has been swept by
MIMEsweeper for the presence of computer viruses.
CNC Software, Inc.
www.mastercam.com
**********************************************************************
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]