toddler frustrations
[email protected]
So I'm fairly new to the unschooling thing. It's definitely what I want for
my son who is still a toddler and I'm working on the "living it" as well. Not
just waiting for him to grow up so we can do it. :) KWIM? Of course you
do. :)
My little boy is a doll and I love him totally and completely. He going
through something right now where he crinkles his nose at me, which means he's
"mean" (a word he uses) and will throw the closest object at my head or try to
hit, scratch or bite me, his older brother (my stepson) or his dad. It happens
much more often with me and his brother thought. I've tried lots of things.
The thing that doesn't work at all is to get mad at him. It makes that cute
little nose crinkle even more and his aim gets better! But I find myself
getting more and more frustrated with this behavior. I try my best to keep my cool
and get down to his level. Talk to him about how hitting hurts, blocks are
not for throwing they are for building, and/or letting him know that if he
throws/hits with whatever object he is holding I will take it away. I'm sure this
is just a phase he is going through. I'm just looking for some suggestions
while I wait this one out. Anyone have any ideas?? This seems to me a good
time to "live it" and I just want to make sure I'm handling it well.
Beth
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
my son who is still a toddler and I'm working on the "living it" as well. Not
just waiting for him to grow up so we can do it. :) KWIM? Of course you
do. :)
My little boy is a doll and I love him totally and completely. He going
through something right now where he crinkles his nose at me, which means he's
"mean" (a word he uses) and will throw the closest object at my head or try to
hit, scratch or bite me, his older brother (my stepson) or his dad. It happens
much more often with me and his brother thought. I've tried lots of things.
The thing that doesn't work at all is to get mad at him. It makes that cute
little nose crinkle even more and his aim gets better! But I find myself
getting more and more frustrated with this behavior. I try my best to keep my cool
and get down to his level. Talk to him about how hitting hurts, blocks are
not for throwing they are for building, and/or letting him know that if he
throws/hits with whatever object he is holding I will take it away. I'm sure this
is just a phase he is going through. I'm just looking for some suggestions
while I wait this one out. Anyone have any ideas?? This seems to me a good
time to "live it" and I just want to make sure I'm handling it well.
Beth
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joan Labbe & Salvatore Genovese
-----Original Message-----
From: Bethryco@... [mailto:Bethryco@...]
Sent: Friday, September 10, 2004 10:05 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] toddler frustrations
"He going
through something right now where he crinkles his nose at me, which means
he's
"mean" (a word he uses) and will throw the closest object at my head or try
to
hit, scratch or bite me, his older brother (my stepson) or his dad."
Hi, Beth,
Sounds to me like he may be acting out something he saw and heard (maybe on
a video or TV or maybe out someplace?) where someone was called or said they
were being "mean" and did similar things. What I'd do is find a way to give
him what he's "needing" in a way that is not hurtful to the other people in
the house. So given his age, what I'd do is first of all, is get behind the
needs...I'd respect that for him it's important to try this "role" he's
calling "mean" on right now, that he needs to act out something he saw so
that he can "own" it. It's his way of learning about what he saw, to make
sense of something that he saw or heard someplace. So I'd work on ways for
him to do this. I'd give him some "mean" materials - some soft balls or
small stuffed animals or something he can throw without hurting someone and
explain they are for when he wants to pretend he is "mean". For the
hitting, biting and scratching, maybe you could suggest a big stuffed
animal, or just ask him what he thinks he could use so that he's not
"really" hurting anyone. He's already got the message from you that the
other stuff hurts, but what he doesn't have is a suggested outlet for what
he wants to do that doesn't hurt anyone.
Joan
From: Bethryco@... [mailto:Bethryco@...]
Sent: Friday, September 10, 2004 10:05 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] toddler frustrations
"He going
through something right now where he crinkles his nose at me, which means
he's
"mean" (a word he uses) and will throw the closest object at my head or try
to
hit, scratch or bite me, his older brother (my stepson) or his dad."
Hi, Beth,
Sounds to me like he may be acting out something he saw and heard (maybe on
a video or TV or maybe out someplace?) where someone was called or said they
were being "mean" and did similar things. What I'd do is find a way to give
him what he's "needing" in a way that is not hurtful to the other people in
the house. So given his age, what I'd do is first of all, is get behind the
needs...I'd respect that for him it's important to try this "role" he's
calling "mean" on right now, that he needs to act out something he saw so
that he can "own" it. It's his way of learning about what he saw, to make
sense of something that he saw or heard someplace. So I'd work on ways for
him to do this. I'd give him some "mean" materials - some soft balls or
small stuffed animals or something he can throw without hurting someone and
explain they are for when he wants to pretend he is "mean". For the
hitting, biting and scratching, maybe you could suggest a big stuffed
animal, or just ask him what he thinks he could use so that he's not
"really" hurting anyone. He's already got the message from you that the
other stuff hurts, but what he doesn't have is a suggested outlet for what
he wants to do that doesn't hurt anyone.
Joan