intro and self reguation
barefootmamax4
Hi all.I think I may have been on this list before,but anyway, I have
joined today. I have 4 kids, ages 3,7 9 and 11. (all pokemon fans)
I have a question for you all. My 11 year old asked my why I don't
tell him he may not play his DS sometimes. He said maybe I should say
no if I think he's playing too much. I asked him if he thinks he is
playing too much, and he said,sometimes he does. I asked him why he
doesn't just stop playing then,and he said he didn't know. It seems
like he really wants me to tell him when he can and cannnot play. So
I tried telling him a time to stop...and then he argued with me,until
I reminded him it was his idea. I don't want to be the game
monitor,but my son is clearly asking me to set a limit for him. Would
it be better for him to monitor himself?
To be clear, we have definitely been moving from more structured
parent led/dictated to more self driven .In our homeschooling we
have gone back and forth between parent imposed structure/curriculum
and child led for a few years now. Is it common when faced with new
personal freedom that a child will want outside/set limits?
-Kelly
joined today. I have 4 kids, ages 3,7 9 and 11. (all pokemon fans)
I have a question for you all. My 11 year old asked my why I don't
tell him he may not play his DS sometimes. He said maybe I should say
no if I think he's playing too much. I asked him if he thinks he is
playing too much, and he said,sometimes he does. I asked him why he
doesn't just stop playing then,and he said he didn't know. It seems
like he really wants me to tell him when he can and cannnot play. So
I tried telling him a time to stop...and then he argued with me,until
I reminded him it was his idea. I don't want to be the game
monitor,but my son is clearly asking me to set a limit for him. Would
it be better for him to monitor himself?
To be clear, we have definitely been moving from more structured
parent led/dictated to more self driven .In our homeschooling we
have gone back and forth between parent imposed structure/curriculum
and child led for a few years now. Is it common when faced with new
personal freedom that a child will want outside/set limits?
-Kelly
Pamela Sorooshian
You're both in a black and white thinking mode.
Instead of you monitoring or him self-monitoring - just take it as him
asking you for support.
My daughter wanted to start getting a little more sleep - but she
really liked staying awake late and IMing with friends. She told me,
"I really want to start being in bed by midnight, so will you remind
me of that when it gets close?"
You might say to him, with a smile, "Are you having fun?" Then he can
decide if he wants to move on to something else or keep on with what
he's doing.
-pam
Instead of you monitoring or him self-monitoring - just take it as him
asking you for support.
My daughter wanted to start getting a little more sleep - but she
really liked staying awake late and IMing with friends. She told me,
"I really want to start being in bed by midnight, so will you remind
me of that when it gets close?"
You might say to him, with a smile, "Are you having fun?" Then he can
decide if he wants to move on to something else or keep on with what
he's doing.
-pam
On Feb 27, 2008, at 1:15 PM, barefootmamax4 wrote:
> I don't want to be the game
> monitor,but my son is clearly asking me to set a limit for him. Would
> it be better for him to monitor himself?
>
> To be clear, we have definitely been moving from more structured
> parent led/dictated to more self driven .In our homeschooling we
> have gone back and forth between parent imposed structure/curriculum
> and child led for a few years now. Is it common when faced with new
> personal freedom that a child will want outside/set limits?
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[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: barefootmamax4 <barefootmamax4@...>
Is it common when faced with new
personal freedom that a child will want outside/set limits?
-=-=-=-=-=-=
<BWG>
Is it common when faced with a new parenting style that a parent will
want outside/set limits? <BWG>
Sure. <g> I just found it ironic that you were asking.
It's HARD when we're used to one thing to make those changes. But with
time and patience we all come around.
Help him, but don't expect the answer to be that he shuts the DS off.
Maybe ask whether he's tired or whether he's having fun. Just asking
should cue him into knowing you're offering the suggestion that he's
asking for. But don't have the expectation that he *will* turn it
off---just that he wants the reminder.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
From: barefootmamax4 <barefootmamax4@...>
Is it common when faced with new
personal freedom that a child will want outside/set limits?
-=-=-=-=-=-=
<BWG>
Is it common when faced with a new parenting style that a parent will
want outside/set limits? <BWG>
Sure. <g> I just found it ironic that you were asking.
It's HARD when we're used to one thing to make those changes. But with
time and patience we all come around.
Help him, but don't expect the answer to be that he shuts the DS off.
Maybe ask whether he's tired or whether he's having fun. Just asking
should cue him into knowing you're offering the suggestion that he's
asking for. But don't have the expectation that he *will* turn it
off---just that he wants the reminder.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
Cameron Parham
My kids have loved getting their own clocks and learning how to set the alarms to go off and remind themselves to see if they want to change activities, or wake up, etc. Cameron
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