diaper and medicine issues
melissa_hice
I've been reading all these posts about children not wanting their
diapers changed or taking medication and I've learned a lot. Here is
my situation:
My ds(5) still wears pullups to bed at night due to night time bed
wetting. He and his sister (8) share a bed. We've always done the
co-sleeping, but dh started insisting that the kids sleep in their
own beds (he would always end up having to sleep on the couch or the
foot of the bed) so I helped the kids to gradually get used to their
beds. I would lay down with them until they went to sleep. I still
sit between them and pat their backs until they go to sleep, or still
even rock them with their long legs hanging over the sides of the
chair! (we have the rocking chair in their bedroom right next to the
bed) They take turns as to who gets to be rocked first. Both like to
be next to someone when they sleep. Usually, during the night, dd
comes and gets between my dh and me. Then, along comes ds and I get
out of bed and go back with him to their twin bed. Talk about
musical beds!
Okay, now where was I going with this? Oh yeah, I remember! MIL and
other that know that ds still wears a pullup (mainly family members
know about this who see him in his pullup) say I should just let him
wet the bed, but this is not nice to his sister. It is not nice to
him either. He does not even know that he is wetting his pullup
while he sleeps. Some mornings he wakes up dry and announces to the
whole family that he has a dry pullup. Other mornings, he obviously
has a very wet pullup but he will not take it off for several hours.
It has to be on his terms. Eventually, he will take it off and put
on his underwear. I used to insist that he change, but we ended up
in a battle of wills. He is very intense and I think I probably am
as well. Since I've been a part of this group, I've let go of my
insistance that he change his wet pullup. MIL means well, but she
thinks I am nuts, I'm sure.
So all this talk about poopy/wet diapers has really got me thinking.
Am I on the right track of letting him wear his pullups at night?
The doctor is not concerned and says that sometimes it takes some
kids, esp. boys, longer to have bladder control in the night. BTW,
ds still has accidents during the day periodically. I'm not sure if
it is a bladder issue, or if it is that he is so involved in what he
is doing and has such a hard time with transitions. Any thoughts?
Now about medicine. It's interesting that this issue is being
discussed right now because ds and dd are both sick with sore
throats, fever, congestion, etc. In the past, I would have insisted
on them taking the yucky medicine (they do like the berry flavored
ibuprophen, though, but hate the purple medicine for congestion).
Today, dd would not drink anything or eat anything because her throat
was hurting so bad. Some background here:
Dd has been hospitalized twice for dehydration. The first time, I
did not realize it but she was close to dying. She was limp and
unresponsive when I took her to the doctor. The doctor took one look
at her and said to take her immediately to the hosptial (his office
is right next to the hospital). When we got there, we went straight
to the pediatric ward and were met by several nurses who rushed dd
off (with me in tow) to a room where they immediately put in an I.V.
Dd did not really even respond while they did this. Later, the doc
told me that she was close to dying. Scared me. She stayed in the
hospital for two days, but with the fluids, she gained back strength
and felt so much better.
The next time she was hospitalzed, she was not that far gone, but I
knew what to look for. We took her to the doctor and they did a
blood test and sent her to the hospital again. This time, it was so
different. When they tried to put in the i.v., dd was very upset.
They held her down and caused her all sorts of trauma. They had some
inexperienced person who was training to try the i.v. They took
seven attempts to get it in! I was furious, but at that time, I was
not aware of my rights as a parent or even familiar with unschooling
type of ideas. I comforted her the best I could and cried along with
her. Boy, if I could do that over again .....
Okay, fast forward a couple of years and dd is feeling bad, sore
throat, etc., won't drink anything, and I have other options than
forcing her to take medication or to drink water. I get myself out
in the rain to the store and buy everything I can think of to entice
her to get fluids in her. I got popsicles, ice cream, chocolate
milk, jello, pudding, chicken noodle soup, gatorade, sprite, etc.
She chose the popsicle and is now eating her second one. I've
offered her medicine and told her that if she wanted it, it is
available. So, am I on the right track here? Since I am fairly new
to the idea of unschooling and living life without coercion, I
question what I am doing, and whether or not I am honoring my child.
But I still fear another hospital episode. She is very small - 38
lbs at nearly 9 years old. I believe that is probably one reason she
gets dyhdrated so quickly. What else can I do to help my daughter
feel better and honor her choices as well?
So now my throat is sore, and I think I'll try one of those
popsicles. It does sound a whole lot better than that nasty throat
spray!
Thank you all so much for your straightforwardness. I really
appreciate the posts here and am learning sooooooo much.
Melissa
diapers changed or taking medication and I've learned a lot. Here is
my situation:
My ds(5) still wears pullups to bed at night due to night time bed
wetting. He and his sister (8) share a bed. We've always done the
co-sleeping, but dh started insisting that the kids sleep in their
own beds (he would always end up having to sleep on the couch or the
foot of the bed) so I helped the kids to gradually get used to their
beds. I would lay down with them until they went to sleep. I still
sit between them and pat their backs until they go to sleep, or still
even rock them with their long legs hanging over the sides of the
chair! (we have the rocking chair in their bedroom right next to the
bed) They take turns as to who gets to be rocked first. Both like to
be next to someone when they sleep. Usually, during the night, dd
comes and gets between my dh and me. Then, along comes ds and I get
out of bed and go back with him to their twin bed. Talk about
musical beds!
Okay, now where was I going with this? Oh yeah, I remember! MIL and
other that know that ds still wears a pullup (mainly family members
know about this who see him in his pullup) say I should just let him
wet the bed, but this is not nice to his sister. It is not nice to
him either. He does not even know that he is wetting his pullup
while he sleeps. Some mornings he wakes up dry and announces to the
whole family that he has a dry pullup. Other mornings, he obviously
has a very wet pullup but he will not take it off for several hours.
It has to be on his terms. Eventually, he will take it off and put
on his underwear. I used to insist that he change, but we ended up
in a battle of wills. He is very intense and I think I probably am
as well. Since I've been a part of this group, I've let go of my
insistance that he change his wet pullup. MIL means well, but she
thinks I am nuts, I'm sure.
So all this talk about poopy/wet diapers has really got me thinking.
Am I on the right track of letting him wear his pullups at night?
The doctor is not concerned and says that sometimes it takes some
kids, esp. boys, longer to have bladder control in the night. BTW,
ds still has accidents during the day periodically. I'm not sure if
it is a bladder issue, or if it is that he is so involved in what he
is doing and has such a hard time with transitions. Any thoughts?
Now about medicine. It's interesting that this issue is being
discussed right now because ds and dd are both sick with sore
throats, fever, congestion, etc. In the past, I would have insisted
on them taking the yucky medicine (they do like the berry flavored
ibuprophen, though, but hate the purple medicine for congestion).
Today, dd would not drink anything or eat anything because her throat
was hurting so bad. Some background here:
Dd has been hospitalized twice for dehydration. The first time, I
did not realize it but she was close to dying. She was limp and
unresponsive when I took her to the doctor. The doctor took one look
at her and said to take her immediately to the hosptial (his office
is right next to the hospital). When we got there, we went straight
to the pediatric ward and were met by several nurses who rushed dd
off (with me in tow) to a room where they immediately put in an I.V.
Dd did not really even respond while they did this. Later, the doc
told me that she was close to dying. Scared me. She stayed in the
hospital for two days, but with the fluids, she gained back strength
and felt so much better.
The next time she was hospitalzed, she was not that far gone, but I
knew what to look for. We took her to the doctor and they did a
blood test and sent her to the hospital again. This time, it was so
different. When they tried to put in the i.v., dd was very upset.
They held her down and caused her all sorts of trauma. They had some
inexperienced person who was training to try the i.v. They took
seven attempts to get it in! I was furious, but at that time, I was
not aware of my rights as a parent or even familiar with unschooling
type of ideas. I comforted her the best I could and cried along with
her. Boy, if I could do that over again .....
Okay, fast forward a couple of years and dd is feeling bad, sore
throat, etc., won't drink anything, and I have other options than
forcing her to take medication or to drink water. I get myself out
in the rain to the store and buy everything I can think of to entice
her to get fluids in her. I got popsicles, ice cream, chocolate
milk, jello, pudding, chicken noodle soup, gatorade, sprite, etc.
She chose the popsicle and is now eating her second one. I've
offered her medicine and told her that if she wanted it, it is
available. So, am I on the right track here? Since I am fairly new
to the idea of unschooling and living life without coercion, I
question what I am doing, and whether or not I am honoring my child.
But I still fear another hospital episode. She is very small - 38
lbs at nearly 9 years old. I believe that is probably one reason she
gets dyhdrated so quickly. What else can I do to help my daughter
feel better and honor her choices as well?
So now my throat is sore, and I think I'll try one of those
popsicles. It does sound a whole lot better than that nasty throat
spray!
Thank you all so much for your straightforwardness. I really
appreciate the posts here and am learning sooooooo much.
Melissa
Karen Swanay
Melissa,
I just wanted to tell you that my son Liam (9) wears Goodnights to
bed. He knows his body has grown faster than his bladder and that is
common. He also knows it will catch up one day. He also knows that
sometimes he doesn't need the Goodnights and other times he does.
When he begins eating like there is no bottom to his stomach, and the
growing pains hit his legs, that he's in a growing phase and sure
enough, the Goodnights are necessary. So, he's got them in his drawer
and the only discussion about it is with me when he tells me that he's
running low or I ask how he's doing on them before I run errands so I
know if I need to pick some up. FWIW, I'd tell MIL that discussion of
your son's bladder is private and is no longer a topic for discussion.
Often a well timed, "Thank you for your ideas." Will cut off
discussion. It's likely your son will be a bedwetter for a while. Or
he may stop next week and it won't return. But no one has control
over how fast his bladder grows.
My MIL threw a fit about the Goodnights and I told her never to
mention it again. There was no reason to heap shame on top of
something over which Liam is sensitive and has no control. (And she's
a nurse! You'd think she'd know better.) Anyway, I just wanted to
say this could be an issue for a while for you two and it's no one
else's business what he does with his bladder but his and your's
because he needs you to get the things for him. If he's peeing
through a pullup, check out Goodnights they are for older kids and I
believe they hold more.
hth
Karen
I just wanted to tell you that my son Liam (9) wears Goodnights to
bed. He knows his body has grown faster than his bladder and that is
common. He also knows it will catch up one day. He also knows that
sometimes he doesn't need the Goodnights and other times he does.
When he begins eating like there is no bottom to his stomach, and the
growing pains hit his legs, that he's in a growing phase and sure
enough, the Goodnights are necessary. So, he's got them in his drawer
and the only discussion about it is with me when he tells me that he's
running low or I ask how he's doing on them before I run errands so I
know if I need to pick some up. FWIW, I'd tell MIL that discussion of
your son's bladder is private and is no longer a topic for discussion.
Often a well timed, "Thank you for your ideas." Will cut off
discussion. It's likely your son will be a bedwetter for a while. Or
he may stop next week and it won't return. But no one has control
over how fast his bladder grows.
My MIL threw a fit about the Goodnights and I told her never to
mention it again. There was no reason to heap shame on top of
something over which Liam is sensitive and has no control. (And she's
a nurse! You'd think she'd know better.) Anyway, I just wanted to
say this could be an issue for a while for you two and it's no one
else's business what he does with his bladder but his and your's
because he needs you to get the things for him. If he's peeing
through a pullup, check out Goodnights they are for older kids and I
believe they hold more.
hth
Karen
melissa_hice
Karen,
thanks so much for the advice. It's good to know my son is not the
only one out there with bladder control problems. I've looked at the
Goodnights but the problem is, ds is so small I have to get the size
3-4 pullups. He only weighs about 35 pounds and is really skinny
around. The bigger ones are too big in the leg openings and then we
have leaks. Usually the pullups work okay except on nights where he
has had too much to drink before going to bed. I don't limit what he
wants to drink, we just deal with wet pjs in the middle of the night!
Melissa
--- In [email protected], "Karen Swanay"
<luvbullbreeds@...> wrote:
thanks so much for the advice. It's good to know my son is not the
only one out there with bladder control problems. I've looked at the
Goodnights but the problem is, ds is so small I have to get the size
3-4 pullups. He only weighs about 35 pounds and is really skinny
around. The bigger ones are too big in the leg openings and then we
have leaks. Usually the pullups work okay except on nights where he
has had too much to drink before going to bed. I don't limit what he
wants to drink, we just deal with wet pjs in the middle of the night!
Melissa
--- In [email protected], "Karen Swanay"
<luvbullbreeds@...> wrote:
>is
> Melissa,
>
> I just wanted to tell you that my son Liam (9) wears Goodnights to
> bed. He knows his body has grown faster than his bladder and that
> common. He also knows it will catch up one day. He also knows thatthe
> sometimes he doesn't need the Goodnights and other times he does.
> When he begins eating like there is no bottom to his stomach, and
> growing pains hit his legs, that he's in a growing phase and suredrawer
> enough, the Goodnights are necessary. So, he's got them in his
> and the only discussion about it is with me when he tells me thathe's
> running low or I ask how he's doing on them before I run errands soI
> know if I need to pick some up. FWIW, I'd tell MIL that discussionof
> your son's bladder is private and is no longer a topic fordiscussion.
> Often a well timed, "Thank you for your ideas." Will cut offOr
> discussion. It's likely your son will be a bedwetter for a while.
> he may stop next week and it won't return. But no one has controlshe's
> over how fast his bladder grows.
>
> My MIL threw a fit about the Goodnights and I told her never to
> mention it again. There was no reason to heap shame on top of
> something over which Liam is sensitive and has no control. (And
> a nurse! You'd think she'd know better.) Anyway, I just wanted to
> say this could be an issue for a while for you two and it's no one
> else's business what he does with his bladder but his and your's
> because he needs you to get the things for him. If he's peeing
> through a pullup, check out Goodnights they are for older kids and I
> believe they hold more.
>
> hth
> Karen
>
swissarmy_wife
I think it so funny that you say that the doctor doesn't even see it
as a problem! Sometimes, doctors can see A LOT of thigns as problems
that aren't! That's quite a twist from what I'm used to hearing!
I wouldn't worry either! One thing that we noticed with BOTH our boys
is that when they started getting antsy or started talking in their
sleep they had to pee! Luckily I was a light sleeper and would wake
up when they did this. Then I would try and convince my husband to
wake up to take them potty! LOL One of us would just go in and get
them or gently wake them and get them to the bathroom. Most of the
time they are so tired they don't refuse, and they don't even remember
in the morning. I remember having a few giggles with my oldest about
this.
All kids are different.
--- In [email protected], "melissa_hice" <mhice@...>
wrote:
as a problem! Sometimes, doctors can see A LOT of thigns as problems
that aren't! That's quite a twist from what I'm used to hearing!
I wouldn't worry either! One thing that we noticed with BOTH our boys
is that when they started getting antsy or started talking in their
sleep they had to pee! Luckily I was a light sleeper and would wake
up when they did this. Then I would try and convince my husband to
wake up to take them potty! LOL One of us would just go in and get
them or gently wake them and get them to the bathroom. Most of the
time they are so tired they don't refuse, and they don't even remember
in the morning. I remember having a few giggles with my oldest about
this.
All kids are different.
--- In [email protected], "melissa_hice" <mhice@...>
wrote:
>
> Okay, now where was I going with this? Oh yeah, I remember! MIL and
> other that know that ds still wears a pullup (mainly family members
> know about this who see him in his pullup) say I should just let him
> wet the bed, but this is not nice to his sister. It is not nice to
> him either. He does not even know that he is wetting his pullup
> while he sleeps. Some mornings he wakes up dry and announces to the
> whole family that he has a dry pullup. Other mornings, he obviously
> has a very wet pullup but he will not take it off for several hours.
> It has to be on his terms. Eventually, he will take it off and put
> on his underwear. I used to insist that he change, but we ended up
> in a battle of wills. He is very intense and I think I probably am
> as well. Since I've been a part of this group, I've let go of my
> insistance that he change his wet pullup. MIL means well, but she
> thinks I am nuts, I'm sure.
>
> So all this talk about poopy/wet diapers has really got me thinking.
> Am I on the right track of letting him wear his pullups at night?
> The doctor is not concerned and says that sometimes it takes some
> kids, esp. boys, longer to have bladder control in the night. BTW,
> ds still has accidents during the day periodically. I'm not sure if
> it is a bladder issue, or if it is that he is so involved in what he
> is doing and has such a hard time with transitions. Any thoughts?
Mirika Sumers
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of swissarmy_wife
Sent: Saturday, February 16, 2008 3:26 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: diaper and medicine issues
sleep they had to pee!
Oh, Jeez. I feel like such a goof. My son did this last night and I didn't
even put two and two together. He was moving back and forth on his bed and
muttering in his sleep. I thought he was having a nightmare and went up to
comfort him but he said he was fine when I got him awake. This morning he
discovered he'd wet the bed. Now looking back on it that has happened every
time. Thanks!! Now I know what to do when he does that. :)
Mirika
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From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of swissarmy_wife
Sent: Saturday, February 16, 2008 3:26 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: diaper and medicine issues
> One thing that we noticed with BOTH our boysis that when they started getting antsy or started talking in their
sleep they had to pee!
Oh, Jeez. I feel like such a goof. My son did this last night and I didn't
even put two and two together. He was moving back and forth on his bed and
muttering in his sleep. I thought he was having a nightmare and went up to
comfort him but he said he was fine when I got him awake. This morning he
discovered he'd wet the bed. Now looking back on it that has happened every
time. Thanks!! Now I know what to do when he does that. :)
Mirika
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melissa_hice
I have not noticed that he talks in his sleep except if he is having
a bad dream. I'll try to pay more attention to that. I have tried
waking him up right before I go to bed to take him to the potty, but
that little guy just gets really angry and screams, cries, arches his
back and gets very physical. The weird thing is he doesn't even
remember it in the morning! Maybe he is even resisting control in
his sleep?! I know I used to be so controlling before I discovered
unschooling, and my little one really wants to be totally in
control. He has always, even as a baby, bucked when someone tried to
control him. Gee, can a kid even resist control in their sleep? Wow.
Melissa
--- In [email protected], "swissarmy_wife"
<heatherbean@...> wrote:
a bad dream. I'll try to pay more attention to that. I have tried
waking him up right before I go to bed to take him to the potty, but
that little guy just gets really angry and screams, cries, arches his
back and gets very physical. The weird thing is he doesn't even
remember it in the morning! Maybe he is even resisting control in
his sleep?! I know I used to be so controlling before I discovered
unschooling, and my little one really wants to be totally in
control. He has always, even as a baby, bucked when someone tried to
control him. Gee, can a kid even resist control in their sleep? Wow.
Melissa
--- In [email protected], "swissarmy_wife"
<heatherbean@...> wrote:
>problems
> I think it so funny that you say that the doctor doesn't even see it
> as a problem! Sometimes, doctors can see A LOT of thigns as
> that aren't! That's quite a twist from what I'm used to hearing!boys
>
> I wouldn't worry either! One thing that we noticed with BOTH our
> is that when they started getting antsy or started talking in theirremember
> sleep they had to pee! Luckily I was a light sleeper and would wake
> up when they did this. Then I would try and convince my husband to
> wake up to take them potty! LOL One of us would just go in and get
> them or gently wake them and get them to the bathroom. Most of the
> time they are so tired they don't refuse, and they don't even
> in the morning. I remember having a few giggles with my oldestabout
> this.
>
> All kids are different.
>
>
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
My dh told me he had accidents until his teens years. The last time he had one was on his twenties.
:)
Alex
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
:)
Alex
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
swissarmy_wife
Me too. That's how I was raised. I was controlled to a point where I
spent my teenage years frozen in fear of making my own decisions. My
oldest has only recently stopped being so controlling. I know he
imitates me. Heck... one time, when my husband asked him how he would
handle a situation, he even said :I would just do whatever mommy
does". I think that statement was a REAL eye opener for me.
Mine never really had a problem with us going in at night. I would
suggest being as gentle as possible, use a soothing voice. It might
be best to talk to him about it first, while he is awake. But still
honor his wishes at the same time. If he doesn't want it... then
don't do it.
--- In [email protected], "melissa_hice" <mhice@...>
wrote:
spent my teenage years frozen in fear of making my own decisions. My
oldest has only recently stopped being so controlling. I know he
imitates me. Heck... one time, when my husband asked him how he would
handle a situation, he even said :I would just do whatever mommy
does". I think that statement was a REAL eye opener for me.
Mine never really had a problem with us going in at night. I would
suggest being as gentle as possible, use a soothing voice. It might
be best to talk to him about it first, while he is awake. But still
honor his wishes at the same time. If he doesn't want it... then
don't do it.
--- In [email protected], "melissa_hice" <mhice@...>
wrote:
>
>I know I used to be so controlling before I discovered
> unschooling, and my little one really wants to be totally in
> control. He has always, even as a baby, bucked when someone tried to
> control him. Gee, can a kid even resist control in their sleep? Wow.
>
> Melissa
>
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
He probably is in deep sleep. One of the reasons my dh had accidents until late in life is that he sleeps really deep. He passes out as I would call it. He works very long and exhausting hours and only sleeps for a few hours ( 5 the most!) So he just is too tired to wake up and he would get the urge to go and just dream that he was in the bathroom.
By the way , he was working that hard since early in life. He always woke up at around 400AM to do chores before school and them after school until 8-9 PM and then homework.
He says life would have been perfect if he was unchooled!
Alex
I have not noticed that he talks in his sleep except if he is having
a bad dream. I'll try to pay more attention to that. I have tried
waking him up right before I go to bed to take him to the potty, but
that little guy just gets really angry and screams, cries, arches his
back and gets very physical. The weird thing is he doesn't even
remember it in the morning! Maybe he is even resisting control in
his sleep?! I know I used to be so controlling before I discovered
unschooling, and my little one really wants to be totally in
control. He has always, even as a baby, bucked when someone tried to
control him. Gee, can a kid even resist control in their sleep? Wow.
Melissa
--- In [email protected], "swissarmy_wife"
<heatherbean@...> wrote:
By the way , he was working that hard since early in life. He always woke up at around 400AM to do chores before school and them after school until 8-9 PM and then homework.
He says life would have been perfect if he was unchooled!
Alex
I have not noticed that he talks in his sleep except if he is having
a bad dream. I'll try to pay more attention to that. I have tried
waking him up right before I go to bed to take him to the potty, but
that little guy just gets really angry and screams, cries, arches his
back and gets very physical. The weird thing is he doesn't even
remember it in the morning! Maybe he is even resisting control in
his sleep?! I know I used to be so controlling before I discovered
unschooling, and my little one really wants to be totally in
control. He has always, even as a baby, bucked when someone tried to
control him. Gee, can a kid even resist control in their sleep? Wow.
Melissa
--- In [email protected], "swissarmy_wife"
<heatherbean@...> wrote:
>problems
> I think it so funny that you say that the doctor doesn't even see it
> as a problem! Sometimes, doctors can see A LOT of thigns as
> that aren't! That's quite a twist from what I'm used to hearing!boys
>
> I wouldn't worry either! One thing that we noticed with BOTH our
> is that when they started getting antsy or started talking in theirremember
> sleep they had to pee! Luckily I was a light sleeper and would wake
> up when they did this. Then I would try and convince my husband to
> wake up to take them potty! LOL One of us would just go in and get
> them or gently wake them and get them to the bathroom. Most of the
> time they are so tired they don't refuse, and they don't even
> in the morning. I remember having a few giggles with my oldestabout
> this.[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
> All kids are different.
>
>
Nancy O'Brien
Gosh this comment brought me back.
Here is the story I tell when I try to explain to others (who always howl
with laughter I might add) the extent of control to which I lived and to
which I have to de-program. Talk about control freak. Ack!
Please know that the laughter we share about this is directly due to the
fact that I have long forgiven my parents for passing on to me and my
siblings what was done to them but I still have to work hard at not passing
it on to my two daughters.
When I was 25 years old and out on a date with my boyfriend (we married 5
years later), my parents drove around looking for me and actually went to
the home of friends of mine (married with two boys), knocked on their door
and demanded to know, "Where's my daughter?"
Heavy sigh.
I am new to this list and also to unschooling but certainly not to free will
choice and non-interference in other's choices. I kept my dd Hannah who is 9
out of public school until Grade 2 but was truly unaware of unschooling and
couldn't imagine homeschooling...the thought of creating school in my home
made me ill.
Since finding radical unschooling...well...it's a perfect fit although I am
still peeling layers and changing behaviors. Whoa.
I am saddened by the damage that was done in school but do believe it is
already reversing itself quickly in the three weeks since I pulled her out
-- at her request. There were so many signs of suffering and no one listened
or rather I suppose no one could hear me. I suppose that was good too in the
long run as this is the BEST solution for us. I know that to the core of my
being and so does she.
So far it's been a wild, emotional and wondrous ride. Fraught with fresh
emotions that I had felt I'd worked through...New layers...woo hoo. grin
It is quite chaotic here but that's so great. Hannah has created a fort in
our living room and claimed it as her bedroom now. She slept there one night
but was back in bed with me last night.
My other daughter who is 11 and in Grade 6 chose to stay in school. I wince
when she tells me she feels better when I tell her it's time to go to bed. I
do trust she will connect back with herself and her innate intelligence in
due time.
I see both my children not has little humans but as big spiritual beings who
have chosen me as their mother. Not all believe that and that's OK. Free to
choose what to believe too.
But knowing they are not humans to mold or control helps me to remember to
treat them with dignity and respect and live in integrity with myself and my
beliefs in honoring free will in all beings. That is I believe how this
entire creation turns...according to free will.
It's also helped me to know I chose my parents and the experiences I
encountered growing up. I know for certain it is NOT what I want for my
kids.
I didn't expect I'd write this much but Heather's comments about control
really touched me.
Thanks.
Nancy
Here is the story I tell when I try to explain to others (who always howl
with laughter I might add) the extent of control to which I lived and to
which I have to de-program. Talk about control freak. Ack!
Please know that the laughter we share about this is directly due to the
fact that I have long forgiven my parents for passing on to me and my
siblings what was done to them but I still have to work hard at not passing
it on to my two daughters.
When I was 25 years old and out on a date with my boyfriend (we married 5
years later), my parents drove around looking for me and actually went to
the home of friends of mine (married with two boys), knocked on their door
and demanded to know, "Where's my daughter?"
Heavy sigh.
I am new to this list and also to unschooling but certainly not to free will
choice and non-interference in other's choices. I kept my dd Hannah who is 9
out of public school until Grade 2 but was truly unaware of unschooling and
couldn't imagine homeschooling...the thought of creating school in my home
made me ill.
Since finding radical unschooling...well...it's a perfect fit although I am
still peeling layers and changing behaviors. Whoa.
I am saddened by the damage that was done in school but do believe it is
already reversing itself quickly in the three weeks since I pulled her out
-- at her request. There were so many signs of suffering and no one listened
or rather I suppose no one could hear me. I suppose that was good too in the
long run as this is the BEST solution for us. I know that to the core of my
being and so does she.
So far it's been a wild, emotional and wondrous ride. Fraught with fresh
emotions that I had felt I'd worked through...New layers...woo hoo. grin
It is quite chaotic here but that's so great. Hannah has created a fort in
our living room and claimed it as her bedroom now. She slept there one night
but was back in bed with me last night.
My other daughter who is 11 and in Grade 6 chose to stay in school. I wince
when she tells me she feels better when I tell her it's time to go to bed. I
do trust she will connect back with herself and her innate intelligence in
due time.
I see both my children not has little humans but as big spiritual beings who
have chosen me as their mother. Not all believe that and that's OK. Free to
choose what to believe too.
But knowing they are not humans to mold or control helps me to remember to
treat them with dignity and respect and live in integrity with myself and my
beliefs in honoring free will in all beings. That is I believe how this
entire creation turns...according to free will.
It's also helped me to know I chose my parents and the experiences I
encountered growing up. I know for certain it is NOT what I want for my
kids.
I didn't expect I'd write this much but Heather's comments about control
really touched me.
Thanks.
Nancy
On Feb 16, 2008 5:14 PM, swissarmy_wife <heatherbean@...> wrote:
> Me too. That's how I was raised. I was controlled to a point where I
> spent my teenage years frozen in fear of making my own decisions. My
> oldest has only recently stopped being so controlling. I know he
> imitates me. Heck... one time, when my husband asked him how he would
> handle a situation, he even said :I would just do whatever mommy
> does". I think that statement was a REAL eye opener for me.
> .
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
guideforthree
****Am I on the right track of letting him wear his pullups at
night? The doctor is not concerned and says that sometimes it takes
some kids, esp. boys, longer to have bladder control in the
night.****
Just listen to your doctor. There are a lot more bed wetting boys
out there than parents would care to admit. My 7yo ds was still a
bed wetter at 5ys. Sleeping in undies definately did not help the
issue. He slept so soundly that he didn't realize he had wet the bed
until I took the sheets off the bed and put him in the bath after he
woke in the morning. The pee had dried on him in the night. We
quickly went back to pullups. Eventually the pullups started to
bother him, and we took him to our pediatrician, who gave us the same
answer your doctor provided. Because my son was bothered by the bed
wetting, he was given a prescription that somehow helped with the
problem. However, our pediatrician told us he only prescribes
medicine when the child is bothered by the bed wetting - never just
because the parent is bothered by it. As long as your boy is fine
with the pullups continue to use them, and continue to let him sleep
all night. If the bed wetting isn't bothering him, it isn't a
problem.
Future sleep-overs aren't really a problem either. My other ds had a
sleep-over in which one of his guests (an 8yo) wore GoodNights. His
mother discretely mentioned this to me as she was dropping him off.
When the boys decided to get into pjs, I quietly told the guest he
could change in my bathroom if he wanted. None of the kids at the
party ever found out about the boy's bed wetting.
tina
night? The doctor is not concerned and says that sometimes it takes
some kids, esp. boys, longer to have bladder control in the
night.****
Just listen to your doctor. There are a lot more bed wetting boys
out there than parents would care to admit. My 7yo ds was still a
bed wetter at 5ys. Sleeping in undies definately did not help the
issue. He slept so soundly that he didn't realize he had wet the bed
until I took the sheets off the bed and put him in the bath after he
woke in the morning. The pee had dried on him in the night. We
quickly went back to pullups. Eventually the pullups started to
bother him, and we took him to our pediatrician, who gave us the same
answer your doctor provided. Because my son was bothered by the bed
wetting, he was given a prescription that somehow helped with the
problem. However, our pediatrician told us he only prescribes
medicine when the child is bothered by the bed wetting - never just
because the parent is bothered by it. As long as your boy is fine
with the pullups continue to use them, and continue to let him sleep
all night. If the bed wetting isn't bothering him, it isn't a
problem.
Future sleep-overs aren't really a problem either. My other ds had a
sleep-over in which one of his guests (an 8yo) wore GoodNights. His
mother discretely mentioned this to me as she was dropping him off.
When the boys decided to get into pjs, I quietly told the guest he
could change in my bathroom if he wanted. None of the kids at the
party ever found out about the boy's bed wetting.
tina
Jodi Bezzola
Just an FYI, they also make Good Nites now in shorts that look kind of like boxers. Also I noticed the other day that Pampers is making a size 7 now - finally in reality that kids aren't done with diapers at 2 years of age when they get a chance to do it on their own schedule! I can't believe the number of people, some total strangers, who feel it's their business to inform me that 'you really need to get those girls out of diapers!'. They are perfectly happy in their Dora pullups that they chose last time at Walmart :o). And a stat I read recently is that the average age of kids moving out of diapers is 3 1/2, which means there are lots of kids older than 3 1/2 who are still in diapers. Another example of really unhelpful comparing...'behind'...behind whom??? My sister wet the bed at night until she was 7, there was no bladder problem, and it stopped when she was ready. I have a funny memory of this long lanky 6 year old laying down on the bed at night to get her
diaper put on, and thank god my mom didn't make it a big deal. So I love the sharing I've read about just letting these kids *be* where they're at.
Jodi
guideforthree <guideforthree@...> wrote:
****Am I on the right track of letting him wear his pullups at
night? The doctor is not concerned and says that sometimes it takes
some kids, esp. boys, longer to have bladder control in the
night.****
Just listen to your doctor. There are a lot more bed wetting boys
out there than parents would care to admit. My 7yo ds was still a
bed wetter at 5ys. Sleeping in undies definately did not help the
issue. He slept so soundly that he didn't realize he had wet the bed
until I took the sheets off the bed and put him in the bath after he
woke in the morning. The pee had dried on him in the night. We
quickly went back to pullups. Eventually the pullups started to
bother him, and we took him to our pediatrician, who gave us the same
answer your doctor provided. Because my son was bothered by the bed
wetting, he was given a prescription that somehow helped with the
problem. However, our pediatrician told us he only prescribes
medicine when the child is bothered by the bed wetting - never just
because the parent is bothered by it. As long as your boy is fine
with the pullups continue to use them, and continue to let him sleep
all night. If the bed wetting isn't bothering him, it isn't a
problem.
Future sleep-overs aren't really a problem either. My other ds had a
sleep-over in which one of his guests (an 8yo) wore GoodNights. His
mother discretely mentioned this to me as she was dropping him off.
When the boys decided to get into pjs, I quietly told the guest he
could change in my bathroom if he wanted. None of the kids at the
party ever found out about the boy's bed wetting.
tina
---------------------------------
Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
diaper put on, and thank god my mom didn't make it a big deal. So I love the sharing I've read about just letting these kids *be* where they're at.
Jodi
guideforthree <guideforthree@...> wrote:
****Am I on the right track of letting him wear his pullups at
night? The doctor is not concerned and says that sometimes it takes
some kids, esp. boys, longer to have bladder control in the
night.****
Just listen to your doctor. There are a lot more bed wetting boys
out there than parents would care to admit. My 7yo ds was still a
bed wetter at 5ys. Sleeping in undies definately did not help the
issue. He slept so soundly that he didn't realize he had wet the bed
until I took the sheets off the bed and put him in the bath after he
woke in the morning. The pee had dried on him in the night. We
quickly went back to pullups. Eventually the pullups started to
bother him, and we took him to our pediatrician, who gave us the same
answer your doctor provided. Because my son was bothered by the bed
wetting, he was given a prescription that somehow helped with the
problem. However, our pediatrician told us he only prescribes
medicine when the child is bothered by the bed wetting - never just
because the parent is bothered by it. As long as your boy is fine
with the pullups continue to use them, and continue to let him sleep
all night. If the bed wetting isn't bothering him, it isn't a
problem.
Future sleep-overs aren't really a problem either. My other ds had a
sleep-over in which one of his guests (an 8yo) wore GoodNights. His
mother discretely mentioned this to me as she was dropping him off.
When the boys decided to get into pjs, I quietly told the guest he
could change in my bathroom if he wanted. None of the kids at the
party ever found out about the boy's bed wetting.
tina
---------------------------------
Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Andrew and Cecily Paterson
Hi,
I've read a little about diet intolerances having something to do with
bedwetting - particularly dairy products. It might be worth checking it
out...
Cheers, Cecily
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of guideforthree
Sent: Sunday, 17 February 2008 4:01 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: diaper and medicine issues
****Am I on the right track of letting him wear his pullups at
night? The doctor is not concerned and says that sometimes it takes
some kids, esp. boys, longer to have bladder control in the
night.****
Just listen to your doctor. There are a lot more bed wetting boys
out there than parents would care to admit. My 7yo ds was still a
bed wetter at 5ys. Sleeping in undies definately did not help the
issue. He slept so soundly that he didn't realize he had wet the bed
until I took the sheets off the bed and put him in the bath after he
woke in the morning. The pee had dried on him in the night. We
quickly went back to pullups. Eventually the pullups started to
bother him, and we took him to our pediatrician, who gave us the same
answer your doctor provided. Because my son was bothered by the bed
wetting, he was given a prescription that somehow helped with the
problem. However, our pediatrician told us he only prescribes
medicine when the child is bothered by the bed wetting - never just
because the parent is bothered by it. As long as your boy is fine
with the pullups continue to use them, and continue to let him sleep
all night. If the bed wetting isn't bothering him, it isn't a
problem.
Future sleep-overs aren't really a problem either. My other ds had a
sleep-over in which one of his guests (an 8yo) wore GoodNights. His
mother discretely mentioned this to me as she was dropping him off.
When the boys decided to get into pjs, I quietly told the guest he
could change in my bathroom if he wanted. None of the kids at the
party ever found out about the boy's bed wetting.
tina
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I've read a little about diet intolerances having something to do with
bedwetting - particularly dairy products. It might be worth checking it
out...
Cheers, Cecily
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of guideforthree
Sent: Sunday, 17 February 2008 4:01 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: diaper and medicine issues
****Am I on the right track of letting him wear his pullups at
night? The doctor is not concerned and says that sometimes it takes
some kids, esp. boys, longer to have bladder control in the
night.****
Just listen to your doctor. There are a lot more bed wetting boys
out there than parents would care to admit. My 7yo ds was still a
bed wetter at 5ys. Sleeping in undies definately did not help the
issue. He slept so soundly that he didn't realize he had wet the bed
until I took the sheets off the bed and put him in the bath after he
woke in the morning. The pee had dried on him in the night. We
quickly went back to pullups. Eventually the pullups started to
bother him, and we took him to our pediatrician, who gave us the same
answer your doctor provided. Because my son was bothered by the bed
wetting, he was given a prescription that somehow helped with the
problem. However, our pediatrician told us he only prescribes
medicine when the child is bothered by the bed wetting - never just
because the parent is bothered by it. As long as your boy is fine
with the pullups continue to use them, and continue to let him sleep
all night. If the bed wetting isn't bothering him, it isn't a
problem.
Future sleep-overs aren't really a problem either. My other ds had a
sleep-over in which one of his guests (an 8yo) wore GoodNights. His
mother discretely mentioned this to me as she was dropping him off.
When the boys decided to get into pjs, I quietly told the guest he
could change in my bathroom if he wanted. None of the kids at the
party ever found out about the boy's bed wetting.
tina
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Karen Swanay
ah the boxer goodnights...my son reports that while the look more like
real underwear, they aren't as comfortable. So if I were just
starting into Goodnights I'd get both kids and let the kid try them
out. FWIW Liam is 9 and still wets at night. I've never taken him to
the Dr about it because I don't want him to think there is something
wrong with him. We just do goodnights and he goes to the bathroom a
billion times a day and it most definately is worse when he's in a
growth spurt. I know your little guy is skinny and young so pullups
are still working for him but don't forget the goodnights when he gets
older if he hasn't outgrown it. =) And during sleepovers he changes
in the bathroom so no other kids have to know.
Karen
real underwear, they aren't as comfortable. So if I were just
starting into Goodnights I'd get both kids and let the kid try them
out. FWIW Liam is 9 and still wets at night. I've never taken him to
the Dr about it because I don't want him to think there is something
wrong with him. We just do goodnights and he goes to the bathroom a
billion times a day and it most definately is worse when he's in a
growth spurt. I know your little guy is skinny and young so pullups
are still working for him but don't forget the goodnights when he gets
older if he hasn't outgrown it. =) And during sleepovers he changes
in the bathroom so no other kids have to know.
Karen
keetry
My oldest ds wet the bed off and on until he was about 10. He also
had occasional daytime accident until he was probably 8. I don't
know for sure what the primary cause was. I do think it went on as
long as it did because of issues with his bio dad. The reason I
think that is because he stopped wetting the bed initially around 7
after his dad had been completely out of the picture for a couple of
years. When his dad re-entered his life but was very inconsistent
and unreliable the bed-wetting started again. It almost always
happened right after contact with his dad.
We eventually got an underwear alarm. It attaches to the underwear
and beeps when it gets wet. It woke everyone up and then we could
get ds to the bathroom. It wasn't used in any shameful or forcing
way. It was offered to him and he wanted to try it. He was at the
age that he was afraid to have sleepovers because he would be
embarassed if he wet the bed. Anyway, after only 3 nights of that he
stopped wetting the bed. I guess he learned how to recognize the
urge to urinate while asleep and would get up and go on his own.
On the medicine, the medicines you mentioned are only for relief of
symptoms. They don't do anything to speed healing. They are not
necessary. So, if your children don't want to take them, I think
that's fine. I think you are on the right track with finding things
taht your dd will eat or drink to keep from getting dehydrated
rather than forcing meds.
Chicken soup is a good way to get fluids. Saline nasal sprays and
salt water gargles are natural ways to relieve congestion and sore
throats. Hot/warm lemony and/or ginger and/or peppermint liquids are
good, too. I'm sure there are other herbs and spices that could
help. I say just keep offering everything you can think of and let
her have as much of whatever she chooses.
Alysia
--- In [email protected], "melissa_hice" <mhice@...>
wrote:
had occasional daytime accident until he was probably 8. I don't
know for sure what the primary cause was. I do think it went on as
long as it did because of issues with his bio dad. The reason I
think that is because he stopped wetting the bed initially around 7
after his dad had been completely out of the picture for a couple of
years. When his dad re-entered his life but was very inconsistent
and unreliable the bed-wetting started again. It almost always
happened right after contact with his dad.
We eventually got an underwear alarm. It attaches to the underwear
and beeps when it gets wet. It woke everyone up and then we could
get ds to the bathroom. It wasn't used in any shameful or forcing
way. It was offered to him and he wanted to try it. He was at the
age that he was afraid to have sleepovers because he would be
embarassed if he wet the bed. Anyway, after only 3 nights of that he
stopped wetting the bed. I guess he learned how to recognize the
urge to urinate while asleep and would get up and go on his own.
On the medicine, the medicines you mentioned are only for relief of
symptoms. They don't do anything to speed healing. They are not
necessary. So, if your children don't want to take them, I think
that's fine. I think you are on the right track with finding things
taht your dd will eat or drink to keep from getting dehydrated
rather than forcing meds.
Chicken soup is a good way to get fluids. Saline nasal sprays and
salt water gargles are natural ways to relieve congestion and sore
throats. Hot/warm lemony and/or ginger and/or peppermint liquids are
good, too. I'm sure there are other herbs and spices that could
help. I say just keep offering everything you can think of and let
her have as much of whatever she chooses.
Alysia
--- In [email protected], "melissa_hice" <mhice@...>
wrote:
>is
> I've been reading all these posts about children not wanting their
> diapers changed or taking medication and I've learned a lot. Here
> my situation:the
>
> My ds(5) still wears pullups to bed at night due to night time bed
> wetting. He and his sister (8) share a bed. We've always done
> co-sleeping, but dh started insisting that the kids sleep in theirthe
> own beds (he would always end up having to sleep on the couch or
> foot of the bed) so I helped the kids to gradually get used totheir
> beds. I would lay down with them until they went to sleep. Istill
> sit between them and pat their backs until they go to sleep, orstill
> even rock them with their long legs hanging over the sides of thethe
> chair! (we have the rocking chair in their bedroom right next to
> bed) They take turns as to who gets to be rocked first. Both liketo
> be next to someone when they sleep. Usually, during the night, ddget
> comes and gets between my dh and me. Then, along comes ds and I
> out of bed and go back with him to their twin bed. Talk aboutand
> musical beds!
>
> Okay, now where was I going with this? Oh yeah, I remember! MIL
> other that know that ds still wears a pullup (mainly familymembers
> know about this who see him in his pullup) say I should just lethim
> wet the bed, but this is not nice to his sister. It is not niceto
> him either. He does not even know that he is wetting his pullupthe
> while he sleeps. Some mornings he wakes up dry and announces to
> whole family that he has a dry pullup. Other mornings, heobviously
> has a very wet pullup but he will not take it off for severalhours.
> It has to be on his terms. Eventually, he will take it off andput
> on his underwear. I used to insist that he change, but we endedup
> in a battle of wills. He is very intense and I think I probablyam
> as well. Since I've been a part of this group, I've let go of mythinking.
> insistance that he change his wet pullup. MIL means well, but she
> thinks I am nuts, I'm sure.
>
> So all this talk about poopy/wet diapers has really got me
> Am I on the right track of letting him wear his pullups at night?BTW,
> The doctor is not concerned and says that sometimes it takes some
> kids, esp. boys, longer to have bladder control in the night.
> ds still has accidents during the day periodically. I'm not sureif
> it is a bladder issue, or if it is that he is so involved in whathe
> is doing and has such a hard time with transitions. Any thoughts?insisted
>
> Now about medicine. It's interesting that this issue is being
> discussed right now because ds and dd are both sick with sore
> throats, fever, congestion, etc. In the past, I would have
> on them taking the yucky medicine (they do like the berry flavoredthroat
> ibuprophen, though, but hate the purple medicine for congestion).
> Today, dd would not drink anything or eat anything because her
> was hurting so bad. Some background here:look
>
> Dd has been hospitalized twice for dehydration. The first time, I
> did not realize it but she was close to dying. She was limp and
> unresponsive when I took her to the doctor. The doctor took one
> at her and said to take her immediately to the hosptial (hisoffice
> is right next to the hospital). When we got there, we wentstraight
> to the pediatric ward and were met by several nurses who rushed ddI.V.
> off (with me in tow) to a room where they immediately put in an
> Dd did not really even respond while they did this. Later, thedoc
> told me that she was close to dying. Scared me. She stayed inthe
> hospital for two days, but with the fluids, she gained backstrength
> and felt so much better.I
>
> The next time she was hospitalzed, she was not that far gone, but
> knew what to look for. We took her to the doctor and they did aso
> blood test and sent her to the hospital again. This time, it was
> different. When they tried to put in the i.v., dd was veryupset.
> They held her down and caused her all sorts of trauma. They hadsome
> inexperienced person who was training to try the i.v. They tookwas
> seven attempts to get it in! I was furious, but at that time, I
> not aware of my rights as a parent or even familiar withunschooling
> type of ideas. I comforted her the best I could and cried alongwith
> her. Boy, if I could do that over again .....out
>
> Okay, fast forward a couple of years and dd is feeling bad, sore
> throat, etc., won't drink anything, and I have other options than
> forcing her to take medication or to drink water. I get myself
> in the rain to the store and buy everything I can think of toentice
> her to get fluids in her. I got popsicles, ice cream, chocolatenew
> milk, jello, pudding, chicken noodle soup, gatorade, sprite, etc.
> She chose the popsicle and is now eating her second one. I've
> offered her medicine and told her that if she wanted it, it is
> available. So, am I on the right track here? Since I am fairly
> to the idea of unschooling and living life without coercion, Ichild.
> question what I am doing, and whether or not I am honoring my
> But I still fear another hospital episode. She is very small - 38she
> lbs at nearly 9 years old. I believe that is probably one reason
> gets dyhdrated so quickly. What else can I do to help my daughterthroat
> feel better and honor her choices as well?
>
> So now my throat is sore, and I think I'll try one of those
> popsicles. It does sound a whole lot better than that nasty
> spray!
>
> Thank you all so much for your straightforwardness. I really
> appreciate the posts here and am learning sooooooo much.
>
> Melissa
>
keetry
My ds was the same way when I tried to wake him to pee. I tried having
a routine of waking him every night before I went to sleep, which was
usually a couple of hours later than when he fell asleep, but he would
totally freak. Once he even punched me. I don't think he was aware of
what he was doing at all. He just didn't want to be disturbed, I
guess. I let go of that idea after that.
Alysia
--- In [email protected], "melissa_hice" <mhice@...>
wrote:
a routine of waking him every night before I went to sleep, which was
usually a couple of hours later than when he fell asleep, but he would
totally freak. Once he even punched me. I don't think he was aware of
what he was doing at all. He just didn't want to be disturbed, I
guess. I let go of that idea after that.
Alysia
--- In [email protected], "melissa_hice" <mhice@...>
wrote:
>his
> I have tried
> waking him up right before I go to bed to take him to the potty, but
> that little guy just gets really angry and screams, cries, arches
> back and gets very physical. The weird thing is he doesn't even
> remember it in the morning!
> Melissa
melissa_hice
It's good to know that my son is not alone in this situation. I
think (well Iknow) it bothers me way more than it bothers him. He is
not even concerned, doesn't mind the pullups, and doesn't really care
what anyone else thinks. Why can't I be more like that?!! I do
believe he sleeps so hard he doesn't even know when he is wetting.
Sleep overs are not an issue right now because we just don't do them -
the kids have never requested them. But it's great to get advice
for the future so that if this continues, I'll have some tools.
And I do think after some of the replies to my initial post that my
mil really doesn't need to concern herself with this issue.
Sometimes she says things to ds to try to make him feel guilty, but
thankfully right now he doesn't seem to care (I could be wrong here,
and he may be just holding his true feelings in, it's hard to say).
I need to tell her in a respectful way that she should not say things
to him concerning wearing a pullup.
Well, thanks again for all the replies. I'm more confident now and,
really, in the grand scheme of things, bed wetting is a minor thing.
Thanks for helping me to see this.
Melissa
--- In [email protected], "guideforthree"
<guideforthree@...> wrote:
think (well Iknow) it bothers me way more than it bothers him. He is
not even concerned, doesn't mind the pullups, and doesn't really care
what anyone else thinks. Why can't I be more like that?!! I do
believe he sleeps so hard he doesn't even know when he is wetting.
Sleep overs are not an issue right now because we just don't do them -
the kids have never requested them. But it's great to get advice
for the future so that if this continues, I'll have some tools.
And I do think after some of the replies to my initial post that my
mil really doesn't need to concern herself with this issue.
Sometimes she says things to ds to try to make him feel guilty, but
thankfully right now he doesn't seem to care (I could be wrong here,
and he may be just holding his true feelings in, it's hard to say).
I need to tell her in a respectful way that she should not say things
to him concerning wearing a pullup.
Well, thanks again for all the replies. I'm more confident now and,
really, in the grand scheme of things, bed wetting is a minor thing.
Thanks for helping me to see this.
Melissa
--- In [email protected], "guideforthree"
<guideforthree@...> wrote:
>takes
> ****Am I on the right track of letting him wear his pullups at
> night? The doctor is not concerned and says that sometimes it
> some kids, esp. boys, longer to have bladder control in thebed
> night.****
>
> Just listen to your doctor. There are a lot more bed wetting boys
> out there than parents would care to admit. My 7yo ds was still a
> bed wetter at 5ys. Sleeping in undies definately did not help the
> issue. He slept so soundly that he didn't realize he had wet the
> until I took the sheets off the bed and put him in the bath afterhe
> woke in the morning. The pee had dried on him in the night. Wesame
> quickly went back to pullups. Eventually the pullups started to
> bother him, and we took him to our pediatrician, who gave us the
> answer your doctor provided. Because my son was bothered by thebed
> wetting, he was given a prescription that somehow helped with thesleep
> problem. However, our pediatrician told us he only prescribes
> medicine when the child is bothered by the bed wetting - never just
> because the parent is bothered by it. As long as your boy is fine
> with the pullups continue to use them, and continue to let him
> all night. If the bed wetting isn't bothering him, it isn't aa
> problem.
>
> Future sleep-overs aren't really a problem either. My other ds had
> sleep-over in which one of his guests (an 8yo) wore GoodNights.His
> mother discretely mentioned this to me as she was dropping himoff.
> When the boys decided to get into pjs, I quietly told the guest he
> could change in my bathroom if he wanted. None of the kids at the
> party ever found out about the boy's bed wetting.
>
> tina
>
keetry
Because sometimes it's hard to trust yourself and your children when
so many people around you are telling you something is wrong,
especially when it's presented as something that is going to cause
permanent life issues. The trick is to tune out all those naysayers
and get back to trusting your children and yourself.
Alysia
--- In [email protected], "melissa_hice" <mhice@...>
wrote:
so many people around you are telling you something is wrong,
especially when it's presented as something that is going to cause
permanent life issues. The trick is to tune out all those naysayers
and get back to trusting your children and yourself.
Alysia
--- In [email protected], "melissa_hice" <mhice@...>
wrote:
>is
> I
> think (well Iknow) it bothers me way more than it bothers him. He
> not even concerned, doesn't mind the pullups, and doesn't reallycare
> what anyone else thinks. Why can't I be more like that
> Melissa
Jodi Bezzola
~~So far it's been a wild, emotional and wondrous ride. Fraught with fresh
emotions that I had felt I'd worked through...New layers...woo hoo. grin~~
Oh, so many new layers here too! Lots and lots I thought I'd already worked through as well, and turns out I still have some control issues to work through, hah!, just a few <g>.
My dh and I were just talking today about the amazing opportunity for growth this path is. And while it's uncomfortable sometimes (understatement of the year), I'm pretty excited too. I feel like I've been riding a bike all these years trying to balance full garbage bags all around me, and now I get the chance to jump dump them by the side of the road one by one. I'm excited about responding to my life and my children differently. I was so thankful to read about car seats the last couple of days, and especially glad for Joyce's posts. Joyce, when you're done with your brain, may I please have it? It just sounds so easy and lovely and wise coming from you!!! But then I remember you've been practicing this stuff a little longer than a month <g> and there's definitely hope for me to feel more at home with this way of living over time.
~~I see both my children not has little humans but as big spiritual beings who
have chosen me as their mother.~~
I feel exactly the same way. Unschooling has given me a framework for this, and some people to help me just get out of their way! In fact I have been so caught up with learning about unschooing (read: running into the computer room every chance I get to hear the next thing all you wise ones have to share), that I have been leaving my girls on their own too much. This week there has been more fighting between them, more acting out, and I see today that it's because I haven't been there. I found myself starting to try and control again, and reverting to yelling again...so busy learning myself I kind of let the connection we'd built up over the last month or so slide during the last few days, so definitely time to reconnect.
~~But knowing they are not humans to mold or control helps me to remember to
treat them with dignity and respect and live in integrity with myself and my
beliefs in honoring free will in all beings.~~
It is so peaceful here (inside me too) when I remember that it's not my job to mold them! I just give them trust, love, patience, and all is well. I am still getting used to them staying up until 11 p.m., but all is well :o).
Jodi
---------------------------------
Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
emotions that I had felt I'd worked through...New layers...woo hoo. grin~~
Oh, so many new layers here too! Lots and lots I thought I'd already worked through as well, and turns out I still have some control issues to work through, hah!, just a few <g>.
My dh and I were just talking today about the amazing opportunity for growth this path is. And while it's uncomfortable sometimes (understatement of the year), I'm pretty excited too. I feel like I've been riding a bike all these years trying to balance full garbage bags all around me, and now I get the chance to jump dump them by the side of the road one by one. I'm excited about responding to my life and my children differently. I was so thankful to read about car seats the last couple of days, and especially glad for Joyce's posts. Joyce, when you're done with your brain, may I please have it? It just sounds so easy and lovely and wise coming from you!!! But then I remember you've been practicing this stuff a little longer than a month <g> and there's definitely hope for me to feel more at home with this way of living over time.
~~I see both my children not has little humans but as big spiritual beings who
have chosen me as their mother.~~
I feel exactly the same way. Unschooling has given me a framework for this, and some people to help me just get out of their way! In fact I have been so caught up with learning about unschooing (read: running into the computer room every chance I get to hear the next thing all you wise ones have to share), that I have been leaving my girls on their own too much. This week there has been more fighting between them, more acting out, and I see today that it's because I haven't been there. I found myself starting to try and control again, and reverting to yelling again...so busy learning myself I kind of let the connection we'd built up over the last month or so slide during the last few days, so definitely time to reconnect.
~~But knowing they are not humans to mold or control helps me to remember to
treat them with dignity and respect and live in integrity with myself and my
beliefs in honoring free will in all beings.~~
It is so peaceful here (inside me too) when I remember that it's not my job to mold them! I just give them trust, love, patience, and all is well. I am still getting used to them staying up until 11 p.m., but all is well :o).
Jodi
---------------------------------
Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: melissa_hice <mhice@...>
Okay, now where was I going with this? Oh yeah, I remember! MIL and
other that know that ds still wears a pullup (mainly family members
know about this who see him in his pullup) say I should just let him
wet the bed, but this is not nice to his sister. It is not nice to
him either.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
It's none of MiL's business. Tell her you promise not to make *her*
future incontinence a topic of conversation--and that you will help her
find those adult diapers when she's ready. <g> But your sons' issues
are his alone, so she needs to step back.
-=-=-=-=-=-
I used to insist that he change, but we ended up
in a battle of wills. He is very intense and I think I probably am
as well. Since I've been a part of this group, I've let go of my
insistance that he change his wet pullup. MIL means well, but she
thinks I am nuts, I'm sure.
-=-=-=-
Sure, but she had her chance to rear her own children. Now it's YOUR
turn.
-=-=-=-=-
So all this talk about poopy/wet diapers has really got me thinking.
Am I on the right track of letting him wear his pullups at night?
The doctor is not concerned and says that sometimes it takes some
kids, esp. boys, longer to have bladder control in the night. BTW,
ds still has accidents during the day periodically. I'm not sure if
it is a bladder issue, or if it is that he is so involved in what he
is doing and has such a hard time with transitions. Any thoughts?
-=-=-=-
I distinctly remember when I was in fourth grade: I would *dream* that
I was getting up and walking into the bathroom, sit on the
toilet,.......and then pee all over my bed. What's fourth grade?
ten/eleven years old??? I had just moved to Columbia and was having a
really hard transition with the move. My mother wavered between being
very understanding and LIVID that she had to wash sheets aGAIN. That
didn't help much.
I so wish they had Pull-ups or Goodnights back then!
Cameron's friend, Noah, would bring his GoodNights over until I think
he was 12-ish. He was on meds that made it difficult for him to hold it
in all night.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The next time she was hospitalzed, she was not that far gone, but I
knew what to look for. We took her to the doctor and they did a
blood test and sent her to the hospital again. This time, it was so
different. When they tried to put in the i.v., dd was very upset.
They held her down and caused her all sorts of trauma. They had some
inexperienced person who was training to try the i.v. They took
seven attempts to get it in! I was furious, but at that time, I was
not aware of my rights as a parent or even familiar with unschooling
type of ideas. I comforted her the best I could and cried along with
her. Boy, if I could do that over again .....
-=-=-=-=-
Yeah---now you know! Be a bitch! This is your CHILD and you have LOTS
of rights and don't have to tolerate bad medicine!
-=-=-=-=-=-
Okay, fast forward a couple of years and dd is feeling bad, sore
throat, etc., won't drink anything, and I have other options than
forcing her to take medication or to drink water. I get myself out
in the rain to the store and buy everything I can think of to entice
her to get fluids in her. I got popsicles, ice cream, chocolate
milk, jello, pudding, chicken noodle soup, gatorade, sprite, etc.
She chose the popsicle and is now eating her second one. I've
offered her medicine and told her that if she wanted it, it is
available. So, am I on the right track here? Since I am fairly new
to the idea of unschooling and living life without coercion, I
question what I am doing, and whether or not I am honoring my child.
But I still fear another hospital episode. She is very small - 38
lbs at nearly 9 years old. I believe that is probably one reason she
gets dyhdrated so quickly. What else can I do to help my daughter
feel better and honor her choices as well?
-=-=-=-=-=-
Hydration can take place in other ways. Baths & showers.
Have you tried the fruit smoothies or milkshakes?
Does she remember either of the last hospital stays? Can you remind her
of what *could* happen if she gets dehydrated again? Will she talk
about the last experience? Can you help her come up with some options?
Maybe right now, because of the sore throat, the IV fluids actually
sound better?
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
More new features than ever. Check out the new AOL Mail ! -
http://webmail.aol.com
From: melissa_hice <mhice@...>
Okay, now where was I going with this? Oh yeah, I remember! MIL and
other that know that ds still wears a pullup (mainly family members
know about this who see him in his pullup) say I should just let him
wet the bed, but this is not nice to his sister. It is not nice to
him either.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
It's none of MiL's business. Tell her you promise not to make *her*
future incontinence a topic of conversation--and that you will help her
find those adult diapers when she's ready. <g> But your sons' issues
are his alone, so she needs to step back.
-=-=-=-=-=-
I used to insist that he change, but we ended up
in a battle of wills. He is very intense and I think I probably am
as well. Since I've been a part of this group, I've let go of my
insistance that he change his wet pullup. MIL means well, but she
thinks I am nuts, I'm sure.
-=-=-=-
Sure, but she had her chance to rear her own children. Now it's YOUR
turn.
-=-=-=-=-
So all this talk about poopy/wet diapers has really got me thinking.
Am I on the right track of letting him wear his pullups at night?
The doctor is not concerned and says that sometimes it takes some
kids, esp. boys, longer to have bladder control in the night. BTW,
ds still has accidents during the day periodically. I'm not sure if
it is a bladder issue, or if it is that he is so involved in what he
is doing and has such a hard time with transitions. Any thoughts?
-=-=-=-
I distinctly remember when I was in fourth grade: I would *dream* that
I was getting up and walking into the bathroom, sit on the
toilet,.......and then pee all over my bed. What's fourth grade?
ten/eleven years old??? I had just moved to Columbia and was having a
really hard transition with the move. My mother wavered between being
very understanding and LIVID that she had to wash sheets aGAIN. That
didn't help much.
I so wish they had Pull-ups or Goodnights back then!
Cameron's friend, Noah, would bring his GoodNights over until I think
he was 12-ish. He was on meds that made it difficult for him to hold it
in all night.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
The next time she was hospitalzed, she was not that far gone, but I
knew what to look for. We took her to the doctor and they did a
blood test and sent her to the hospital again. This time, it was so
different. When they tried to put in the i.v., dd was very upset.
They held her down and caused her all sorts of trauma. They had some
inexperienced person who was training to try the i.v. They took
seven attempts to get it in! I was furious, but at that time, I was
not aware of my rights as a parent or even familiar with unschooling
type of ideas. I comforted her the best I could and cried along with
her. Boy, if I could do that over again .....
-=-=-=-=-
Yeah---now you know! Be a bitch! This is your CHILD and you have LOTS
of rights and don't have to tolerate bad medicine!
-=-=-=-=-=-
Okay, fast forward a couple of years and dd is feeling bad, sore
throat, etc., won't drink anything, and I have other options than
forcing her to take medication or to drink water. I get myself out
in the rain to the store and buy everything I can think of to entice
her to get fluids in her. I got popsicles, ice cream, chocolate
milk, jello, pudding, chicken noodle soup, gatorade, sprite, etc.
She chose the popsicle and is now eating her second one. I've
offered her medicine and told her that if she wanted it, it is
available. So, am I on the right track here? Since I am fairly new
to the idea of unschooling and living life without coercion, I
question what I am doing, and whether or not I am honoring my child.
But I still fear another hospital episode. She is very small - 38
lbs at nearly 9 years old. I believe that is probably one reason she
gets dyhdrated so quickly. What else can I do to help my daughter
feel better and honor her choices as well?
-=-=-=-=-=-
Hydration can take place in other ways. Baths & showers.
Have you tried the fruit smoothies or milkshakes?
Does she remember either of the last hospital stays? Can you remind her
of what *could* happen if she gets dehydrated again? Will she talk
about the last experience? Can you help her come up with some options?
Maybe right now, because of the sore throat, the IV fluids actually
sound better?
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
More new features than ever. Check out the new AOL Mail ! -
http://webmail.aol.com
Karen Buxcel
Hi Melissa,
How's your daughter's sore throat? I'm prone to those, and have had great
success with a Hyland's homeopathic called 'Sore Throat'.
Maybe she'd be willing to try something like that? They're tiny little
pills that melt away very quickly under your tongue, no swallowing! Yay! :)
Just wanted to mention it.
Be Well,
Karen
--
"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know
peace."
Jimi Hendrix
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
How's your daughter's sore throat? I'm prone to those, and have had great
success with a Hyland's homeopathic called 'Sore Throat'.
Maybe she'd be willing to try something like that? They're tiny little
pills that melt away very quickly under your tongue, no swallowing! Yay! :)
Just wanted to mention it.
Be Well,
Karen
--
"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know
peace."
Jimi Hendrix
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
jenniferbreseman
Your posts have been so helpful to me as I am also just starting on
this journey. I take encouragement from your success. This post
gets at the heart of what I find most difficult. Being present
without trying to control. I'm surprised how HARD this is for me. I
feel I should be doing something... Organizing an activity, cleaning
the bathroom... I feel like I literally want to jump out of my seat
when I try to watch TV with the kids or play my little pony. My mind
races with all the things I should be accomplishing. I hope it gets
easier with practice. Off to practice!
Jennifer (mom to George 5 & Millie 3)
--- In [email protected], Jodi Bezzola
<jodibezzola@...> wrote:
control issues to work through, hah!, just a few <g>.
(understatement of the year), I'm pretty excited too. I feel like
I've been riding a bike all these years trying to balance full
garbage bags all around me, and now I get the chance to jump dump
them by the side of the road one by one. I'm excited about
responding to my life and my children differently. I was so thankful
to read about car seats the last couple of days, and especially glad
for Joyce's posts. Joyce, when you're done with your brain, may I
please have it? It just sounds so easy and lovely and wise coming
from you!!! But then I remember you've been practicing this stuff a
little longer than a month <g> and there's definitely hope for me to
feel more at home with this way of living over time.
way! In fact I have been so caught up with learning about unschooing
(read: running into the computer room every chance I get to hear the
next thing all you wise ones have to share), that I have been leaving
my girls on their own too much. This week there has been more
fighting between them, more acting out, and I see today that it's
because I haven't been there. I found myself starting to try and
control again, and reverting to yelling again...so busy learning
myself I kind of let the connection we'd built up over the last month
or so slide during the last few days, so definitely time to reconnect.
all is well. I am still getting used to them staying up until 11
p.m., but all is well :o).
this journey. I take encouragement from your success. This post
gets at the heart of what I find most difficult. Being present
without trying to control. I'm surprised how HARD this is for me. I
feel I should be doing something... Organizing an activity, cleaning
the bathroom... I feel like I literally want to jump out of my seat
when I try to watch TV with the kids or play my little pony. My mind
races with all the things I should be accomplishing. I hope it gets
easier with practice. Off to practice!
Jennifer (mom to George 5 & Millie 3)
--- In [email protected], Jodi Bezzola
<jodibezzola@...> wrote:
>with fresh
> ~~So far it's been a wild, emotional and wondrous ride. Fraught
> emotions that I had felt I'd worked through...New layers...woo hoo.grin~~
>already worked through as well, and turns out I still have some
> Oh, so many new layers here too! Lots and lots I thought I'd
control issues to work through, hah!, just a few <g>.
>for growth this path is. And while it's uncomfortable sometimes
> My dh and I were just talking today about the amazing opportunity
(understatement of the year), I'm pretty excited too. I feel like
I've been riding a bike all these years trying to balance full
garbage bags all around me, and now I get the chance to jump dump
them by the side of the road one by one. I'm excited about
responding to my life and my children differently. I was so thankful
to read about car seats the last couple of days, and especially glad
for Joyce's posts. Joyce, when you're done with your brain, may I
please have it? It just sounds so easy and lovely and wise coming
from you!!! But then I remember you've been practicing this stuff a
little longer than a month <g> and there's definitely hope for me to
feel more at home with this way of living over time.
>spiritual beings who
> ~~I see both my children not has little humans but as big
> have chosen me as their mother.~~framework for this, and some people to help me just get out of their
>
> I feel exactly the same way. Unschooling has given me a
way! In fact I have been so caught up with learning about unschooing
(read: running into the computer room every chance I get to hear the
next thing all you wise ones have to share), that I have been leaving
my girls on their own too much. This week there has been more
fighting between them, more acting out, and I see today that it's
because I haven't been there. I found myself starting to try and
control again, and reverting to yelling again...so busy learning
myself I kind of let the connection we'd built up over the last month
or so slide during the last few days, so definitely time to reconnect.
>remember to
> ~~But knowing they are not humans to mold or control helps me to
> treat them with dignity and respect and live in integrity withmyself and my
> beliefs in honoring free will in all beings.~~not my job to mold them! I just give them trust, love, patience, and
>
> It is so peaceful here (inside me too) when I remember that it's
all is well. I am still getting used to them staying up until 11
p.m., but all is well :o).
>
> Jodi
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
melissa_hice
Hi Karen,
My dd's throat is much better. My 2 dc and I are all very prone to
sore throats. I had my tonsils out at 4 and ds had his out at 2. I
would be interested in trying what you suggested. Where do you get
them?
Melissa
--- In [email protected], "Karen Buxcel"
<thewildtribe@...> wrote:
My dd's throat is much better. My 2 dc and I are all very prone to
sore throats. I had my tonsils out at 4 and ds had his out at 2. I
would be interested in trying what you suggested. Where do you get
them?
Melissa
--- In [email protected], "Karen Buxcel"
<thewildtribe@...> wrote:
>had great
> Hi Melissa,
>
> How's your daughter's sore throat? I'm prone to those, and have
> success with a Hyland's homeopathic called 'Sore Throat'.little
>
> Maybe she'd be willing to try something like that? They're tiny
> pills that melt away very quickly under your tongue, noswallowing! Yay! :)
>know
> Just wanted to mention it.
>
> Be Well,
> Karen
>
>
> --
> "When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will
> peace."
> Jimi Hendrix
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
melissa_hice
Kelly,
Thanks so much for your responses. I was hoping you would reply!!!
You give me things to think of and responses I don't think of.
*MIL and other that know that ds still wears a pullup (mainly family
members know about this who see him in his pullup) say I should just
let him wet the bed, but this is not nice to his sister. It is not
nice to him either.
those terms, but in-laws are older (mid 70's) and live three blocks
down from us so that we can take care of them. She already has some
issues with incontinence, so I'd think she'd be more understanding.
Maybe if I present it in those terms, she would stop and think.
unschooling life, I have become more and more "braver" to stand up
for not only my children, but myself as well.
try that next time. She was running a fever and probably would not
have wanted to be wet, but would running a warm shower and letting
her sit on my lap in the steam it created work as well?
Oh, why didn't I think of milkshakes??? She loves milkshakes. Next
time!
Thanks again Kelly for your responses. I have learned so much from
you and others who give advice and help others question themselves
and their motives.
Melissa
Thanks so much for your responses. I was hoping you would reply!!!
You give me things to think of and responses I don't think of.
*MIL and other that know that ds still wears a pullup (mainly family
members know about this who see him in his pullup) say I should just
let him wet the bed, but this is not nice to his sister. It is not
nice to him either.
> -----------*her*
> It's none of MiL's business. Tell her you promise not to make
> future incontinence a topic of conversation--and that you will helpher
> find those adult diapers when she's ready. <g> But your sons'issues
> are his alone, so she needs to step back.Thanks so much for that! It didn't even occur to me to think in
>
> -=-=-=-=-=-
those terms, but in-laws are older (mid 70's) and live three blocks
down from us so that we can take care of them. She already has some
issues with incontinence, so I'd think she'd be more understanding.
Maybe if I present it in those terms, she would stop and think.
>YOUR
> I used to insist that he change, but we ended up
> in a battle of wills. He is very intense and I think I probably am
> as well. Since I've been a part of this group, I've let go of my
> insistance that he change his wet pullup. MIL means well, but she
> thinks I am nuts, I'm sure.
>
> -=-=-=-
>
> Sure, but she had her chance to rear her own children. Now it's
> turn.You are right.
>
>some
>
> The next time she was hospitalzed, she was not that far gone, but I
> knew what to look for. We took her to the doctor and they did a
> blood test and sent her to the hospital again. This time, it was so
> different. When they tried to put in the i.v., dd was very upset.
> They held her down and caused her all sorts of trauma. They had
> inexperienced person who was training to try the i.v. They tookwith
> seven attempts to get it in! I was furious, but at that time, I was
> not aware of my rights as a parent or even familiar with unschooling
> type of ideas. I comforted her the best I could and cried along
> her. Boy, if I could do that over again .....LOTS
>
>
> -=-=-=-=-
>
> Yeah---now you know! Be a bitch! This is your CHILD and you have
> of rights and don't have to tolerate bad medicine!And since I've learned about the ideas of unschooling and living an
>
> -=-=-=-=-=-
unschooling life, I have become more and more "braver" to stand up
for not only my children, but myself as well.
>she
> I got popsicles, ice cream, chocolate
> milk, jello, pudding, chicken noodle soup, gatorade, sprite, etc.
> She chose the popsicle and is now eating her second one. I've
> offered her medicine and told her that if she wanted it, it is
> available. So, am I on the right track here? Since I am fairly new
> to the idea of unschooling and living life without coercion, I
> question what I am doing, and whether or not I am honoring my child.
> But I still fear another hospital episode. She is very small - 38
> lbs at nearly 9 years old. I believe that is probably one reason
> gets dyhdrated so quickly. What else can I do to help my daughterher
> feel better and honor her choices as well?
>
> -=-=-=-=-=-
>
> Hydration can take place in other ways. Baths & showers.
>
> Have you tried the fruit smoothies or milkshakes?
>
> Does she remember either of the last hospital stays? Can you remind
> of what *could* happen if she gets dehydrated again? Will she talkoptions?
> about the last experience? Can you help her come up with some
>I didn't even know about baths and showers helping dehydration. I'll
> Maybe right now, because of the sore throat, the IV fluids actually
> sound better?
>
try that next time. She was running a fever and probably would not
have wanted to be wet, but would running a warm shower and letting
her sit on my lap in the steam it created work as well?
Oh, why didn't I think of milkshakes??? She loves milkshakes. Next
time!
Thanks again Kelly for your responses. I have learned so much from
you and others who give advice and help others question themselves
and their motives.
Melissa
>
>>
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: jenniferbreseman <jen@...>
Your posts have been so helpful to me as I am also just starting on
this journey. I take encouragement from your success. This post
gets at the heart of what I find most difficult. Being present
without trying to control. I'm surprised how HARD this is for me. I
feel I should be doing something... Organizing an activity, cleaning
the bathroom... I feel like I literally want to jump out of my seat
when I try to watch TV with the kids or play my little pony. My mind
races with all the things I should be accomplishing. I hope it gets
easier with practice. Off to practice!
-=-=-
Try not to "practice"---DO IT instead! <g>
To quote Yoda, "Try not. Do or do not. There is no try." Wise words
from a puppet. <g>
If you're having trouble not controlling something, *find* something
---other than your children!---to control. I train dogs. I garden. I
redecorate a bedroom or retile the kitchen. <g> Right now, I need to
build a raised garden bed, build a chicken coop and yard, and paint my
front and back porches. I can control ALL those things. I *cannot*
control other people. (Not even this list, apparently. <bwg>) Only me.
<g> And the *things* in my life.
Get it out of your system---if you feel the need to organize something:
throw a party, clean out drawers and closets, learn to knit, take up a
sport (I took fencing classes a few years ago--THAT was fun! Poking
other people HARD! <g>), explore a new cuisine, by a couple of bee
hives (I did that a few years ago too! <G>). When you get tired, go lie
down with your kids and watch a SpongeBob marathon or a Johnny Depp
vertical.
It's a good thing too, for your kids to SEE you do new things. It's a
good model. What things have you always wanted to do? I gave my husband
Ben a sky-diving flight for his birthday this month! <G> He hasn't done
it yet, but the camera will be rolling when he does! <g> I hope the
boys will learn that we're never too old to learn! <g>
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
More new features than ever. Check out the new AOL Mail ! -
http://webmail.aol.com
From: jenniferbreseman <jen@...>
Your posts have been so helpful to me as I am also just starting on
this journey. I take encouragement from your success. This post
gets at the heart of what I find most difficult. Being present
without trying to control. I'm surprised how HARD this is for me. I
feel I should be doing something... Organizing an activity, cleaning
the bathroom... I feel like I literally want to jump out of my seat
when I try to watch TV with the kids or play my little pony. My mind
races with all the things I should be accomplishing. I hope it gets
easier with practice. Off to practice!
-=-=-
Try not to "practice"---DO IT instead! <g>
To quote Yoda, "Try not. Do or do not. There is no try." Wise words
from a puppet. <g>
If you're having trouble not controlling something, *find* something
---other than your children!---to control. I train dogs. I garden. I
redecorate a bedroom or retile the kitchen. <g> Right now, I need to
build a raised garden bed, build a chicken coop and yard, and paint my
front and back porches. I can control ALL those things. I *cannot*
control other people. (Not even this list, apparently. <bwg>) Only me.
<g> And the *things* in my life.
Get it out of your system---if you feel the need to organize something:
throw a party, clean out drawers and closets, learn to knit, take up a
sport (I took fencing classes a few years ago--THAT was fun! Poking
other people HARD! <g>), explore a new cuisine, by a couple of bee
hives (I did that a few years ago too! <G>). When you get tired, go lie
down with your kids and watch a SpongeBob marathon or a Johnny Depp
vertical.
It's a good thing too, for your kids to SEE you do new things. It's a
good model. What things have you always wanted to do? I gave my husband
Ben a sky-diving flight for his birthday this month! <G> He hasn't done
it yet, but the camera will be rolling when he does! <g> I hope the
boys will learn that we're never too old to learn! <g>
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
More new features than ever. Check out the new AOL Mail ! -
http://webmail.aol.com
carenkh
--- In [email protected], kbcdlovejo@... wrote:
(cue Groucho eyebrows) I'd rather see a Johnny Depp horizontal! ;)
Caren
> watch a SpongeBob marathon or a Johnny Depp-=-=-
> vertical.
(cue Groucho eyebrows) I'd rather see a Johnny Depp horizontal! ;)
Caren
Danielle Conger
From: jenniferbreseman <jen@... <mailto:jen%40pop.net>>
maybe you'll find something helpful in it:
http://danielleconger.organiclearning.org/mindfulmothering.html
I've found the Buddhist idea of "practice" as the act of *doing* or
*engaging* in the thing itself to be helpful. Kind of like a Zen version
of the Nike ad: "Practice: just do it!" ;)
I tend to dwell on the theoretical, though. Practical suggestions like
those Deb Rossing comes up with are always so helpful, as are the lists
like Deb Lewis generates: http://sandradodd.com/strew/deblist Maybe it
has something to do with the name.
--
~~Danielle
Emily (10), Julia (9), Sam (7)
http://www.organiclearning.blogspot.com
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Connections: ezine of unschooling and mindful parenting
http://connections.organiclearning.org
> I'm surprised how HARD this is for me. IThis article grew out of my own struggle and reflection on this issue;
> feel I should be doing something... Organizing an activity, cleaning
> the bathroom... I feel like I literally want to jump out of my seat
> when I try to watch TV with the kids or play my little pony. My mind
> races with all the things I should be accomplishing. I hope it gets
> easier with practice. Off to practice!
>
maybe you'll find something helpful in it:
http://danielleconger.organiclearning.org/mindfulmothering.html
I've found the Buddhist idea of "practice" as the act of *doing* or
*engaging* in the thing itself to be helpful. Kind of like a Zen version
of the Nike ad: "Practice: just do it!" ;)
I tend to dwell on the theoretical, though. Practical suggestions like
those Deb Rossing comes up with are always so helpful, as are the lists
like Deb Lewis generates: http://sandradodd.com/strew/deblist Maybe it
has something to do with the name.
--
~~Danielle
Emily (10), Julia (9), Sam (7)
http://www.organiclearning.blogspot.com
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Connections: ezine of unschooling and mindful parenting
http://connections.organiclearning.org
jenniferbreseman
What a beautifully written piece! That's really what I meant by
practice, rather than some sort of rehersal. >
practice, rather than some sort of rehersal. >
> This article grew out of my own struggle and reflection on thisissue;
> maybe you'll find something helpful in it:version
>
> http://danielleconger.organiclearning.org/mindfulmothering.html
>
> I've found the Buddhist idea of "practice" as the act of *doing* or
> *engaging* in the thing itself to be helpful. Kind of like a Zen
> of the Nike ad: "Practice: just do it!" ;)like
>
> I tend to dwell on the theoretical, though. Practical suggestions
> those Deb Rossing comes up with are always so helpful, as are thelists
> like Deb Lewis generates: http://sandradodd.com/strew/deblistMaybe it
> has something to do with the name.
>
> --
> ~~Danielle
> Emily (10), Julia (9), Sam (7)
> http://www.organiclearning.blogspot.com
>
> ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
>
> Connections: ezine of unschooling and mindful parenting
> http://connections.organiclearning.org
>
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
I gave my husband
Ben a sky-diving flight for his birthday this month! <G>
=-=-==-=-
Happy Birthday Ben!!!!!!!!!!!
We share the same month!!!!!!!!
Love,
Alex, Brian, MD and Gigi
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ben a sky-diving flight for his birthday this month! <G>
=-=-==-=-
Happy Birthday Ben!!!!!!!!!!!
We share the same month!!!!!!!!
Love,
Alex, Brian, MD and Gigi
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
jenniferbreseman
--- In [email protected], kbcdlovejo@... wrote:
again. I'm also going to get back to making a doll and learning to
knit, maybe even some yoga. >
__
>something and having fun, it's infectious. I can't wait to garden
>
> Thanks, I needed to hear that. It's so true that when I'm doing
again. I'm also going to get back to making a doll and learning to
knit, maybe even some yoga. >
> -=-=-words
>
> Try not to "practice"---DO IT instead! <g>
>
> To quote Yoda, "Try not. Do or do not. There is no try." Wise
> from a puppet. <g>something
>
> If you're having trouble not controlling something, *find*
> ---other than your children!---to control. I train dogs. I garden.I
> redecorate a bedroom or retile the kitchen. <g> Right now, I needto
> build a raised garden bed, build a chicken coop and yard, and paintmy
> front and back porches. I can control ALL those things. I *cannot*me.
> control other people. (Not even this list, apparently. <bwg>) Only
> <g> And the *things* in my life.something:
>
> Get it out of your system---if you feel the need to organize
> throw a party, clean out drawers and closets, learn to knit, takeup a
> sport (I took fencing classes a few years ago--THAT was fun! Pokinglie
> other people HARD! <g>), explore a new cuisine, by a couple of bee
> hives (I did that a few years ago too! <G>). When you get tired, go
> down with your kids and watch a SpongeBob marathon or a Johnny Deppa
> vertical.
>
> It's a good thing too, for your kids to SEE you do new things. It's
> good model. What things have you always wanted to do? I gave myhusband
> Ben a sky-diving flight for his birthday this month! <G> He hasn'tdone
> it yet, but the camera will be rolling when he does! <g> I hope the______________________________________________________________________
> boys will learn that we're never too old to learn! <g>
>
>
> ~Kelly
>
> Kelly Lovejoy
> Conference Coordinator
> Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
> http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
>
>
>
__
> More new features than ever. Check out the new AOL Mail ! -
> http://webmail.aol.com
>