[email protected]
Original message:
If people, when they are sharing their wisdom with other parents,
would be as kind and respectful as they are suggesting being with the
children, maybe Karen would not be feeling so abused. In other words,
practice what you preach?
-=-=-=-
I wasn't going to let this through but decided to so that I could
address it.
NO ONE is forced to be here. If you don't like the manner in which the
advice/suggestions are given, please give your own advice/suggestions
in the way you think would be better.
Or leave.
Karen is not my child in my living room. She came here seeking
something different. I can't make her change, but I can give her A LOT
to think about.
If my child came in and asked something similar, I'd give exactly the
same advice. I'm sure my children would hear the love and concern in my
voice---because that's what they're used to hearing.
If you're used to hearing things as an attack, chances are you will
hear *everything* as an attack.
I "practice" EXACTLY what I "preach"---to understand the needs and of
the CHILD. Karen is no child. No one here is. I suggest putting
yourself in that child's shoes. If *I* were her child, I would not feel
my mother was helping me, *I* would feel that she was giving me no help
at all and frustrating the hell out of me. It's about how the *child*
perceives what the parent is doing/saying.
We are adults and have many more tools to help us understand the world.
Our children cannot be expected to do that without many more years
here. We can help them by modeling with/for them and by helping them
get what they want. OR...we can make them more frustrated and make them
grasp for *whatever* and make themselves and others miserable in the
process.
By being their partners and working *with* them, we empower them.
I guess I could have said, "Yeah---you said/did the right things. He
needs to buck up and realize that the world's NOT his oyster."
But two good ways that humans learn is by what's modeled for us and by
self-examination. You may think I could have modeled more empathy,
maybe? I'm fully empathetic with the *child*. I even empathize with
Karen's plight. I've been there---but that doesn't mean I will
sugar-coat my advice.
Karen wasn't modeling her best---nor is she examining the best ways to
act/react with her kids (yet).
She'll get it---or she won't. ANd she can delete all email from me,
personally, or even leave the list. I have to assume that she's here
for a reason.
If my posts don't suit you---you may also block my emails or leave the
list. You could also give better advice/suggestions or in a better
manner than I do---that's FINE, and I encourage it.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
More new features than ever. Check out the new AOL Mail ! -
http://webmail.aol.com
If people, when they are sharing their wisdom with other parents,
would be as kind and respectful as they are suggesting being with the
children, maybe Karen would not be feeling so abused. In other words,
practice what you preach?
-=-=-=-
I wasn't going to let this through but decided to so that I could
address it.
NO ONE is forced to be here. If you don't like the manner in which the
advice/suggestions are given, please give your own advice/suggestions
in the way you think would be better.
Or leave.
Karen is not my child in my living room. She came here seeking
something different. I can't make her change, but I can give her A LOT
to think about.
If my child came in and asked something similar, I'd give exactly the
same advice. I'm sure my children would hear the love and concern in my
voice---because that's what they're used to hearing.
If you're used to hearing things as an attack, chances are you will
hear *everything* as an attack.
I "practice" EXACTLY what I "preach"---to understand the needs and of
the CHILD. Karen is no child. No one here is. I suggest putting
yourself in that child's shoes. If *I* were her child, I would not feel
my mother was helping me, *I* would feel that she was giving me no help
at all and frustrating the hell out of me. It's about how the *child*
perceives what the parent is doing/saying.
We are adults and have many more tools to help us understand the world.
Our children cannot be expected to do that without many more years
here. We can help them by modeling with/for them and by helping them
get what they want. OR...we can make them more frustrated and make them
grasp for *whatever* and make themselves and others miserable in the
process.
By being their partners and working *with* them, we empower them.
I guess I could have said, "Yeah---you said/did the right things. He
needs to buck up and realize that the world's NOT his oyster."
But two good ways that humans learn is by what's modeled for us and by
self-examination. You may think I could have modeled more empathy,
maybe? I'm fully empathetic with the *child*. I even empathize with
Karen's plight. I've been there---but that doesn't mean I will
sugar-coat my advice.
Karen wasn't modeling her best---nor is she examining the best ways to
act/react with her kids (yet).
She'll get it---or she won't. ANd she can delete all email from me,
personally, or even leave the list. I have to assume that she's here
for a reason.
If my posts don't suit you---you may also block my emails or leave the
list. You could also give better advice/suggestions or in a better
manner than I do---that's FINE, and I encourage it.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
More new features than ever. Check out the new AOL Mail ! -
http://webmail.aol.com
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
I will say this again here:
I have had the immense pleasure of meeting Kelly IRL and even having her, her DH and Duncan in my house.
She is a petite soft spoken, funny, extremely smart, delightful with her soft southern accent, entertaining , person.
I have called Kelly when I was not being the best I could be as a mom. I called her because I knew I could count on her too give me that kick on the but I needed. I don't need no one to give me a pat on the shoulder when I KNOW I need to change.
Even when doing that she was so sweet and supportive and soft spoken. It makes a huge difference when you can actually hear the person's voice.
Kelly is an awesome person and mother. A great friend and someone I look up to.
Maybe someday I will be like her....
Love,
Alex
kbcdlovejo@... wrote:
Original message:
If people, when they are sharing their wisdom with other parents,
would be as kind and respectful as they are suggesting being with the
children, maybe Karen would not be feeling so abused. In other words,
practice what you preach?
-=-=-=-
I wasn't going to let this through but decided to so that I could
address it.
NO ONE is forced to be here. If you don't like the manner in which the
advice/suggestions are given, please give your own advice/suggestions
in the way you think would be better.
Or leave.
Karen is not my child in my living room. She came here seeking
something different. I can't make her change, but I can give her A LOT
to think about.
If my child came in and asked something similar, I'd give exactly the
same advice. I'm sure my children would hear the love and concern in my
voice---because that's what they're used to hearing.
If you're used to hearing things as an attack, chances are you will
hear *everything* as an attack.
I "practice" EXACTLY what I "preach"---to understand the needs and of
the CHILD. Karen is no child. No one here is. I suggest putting
yourself in that child's shoes. If *I* were her child, I would not feel
my mother was helping me, *I* would feel that she was giving me no help
at all and frustrating the hell out of me. It's about how the *child*
perceives what the parent is doing/saying.
We are adults and have many more tools to help us understand the world.
Our children cannot be expected to do that without many more years
here. We can help them by modeling with/for them and by helping them
get what they want. OR...we can make them more frustrated and make them
grasp for *whatever* and make themselves and others miserable in the
process.
By being their partners and working *with* them, we empower them.
I guess I could have said, "Yeah---you said/did the right things. He
needs to buck up and realize that the world's NOT his oyster."
But two good ways that humans learn is by what's modeled for us and by
self-examination. You may think I could have modeled more empathy,
maybe? I'm fully empathetic with the *child*. I even empathize with
Karen's plight. I've been there---but that doesn't mean I will
sugar-coat my advice.
Karen wasn't modeling her best---nor is she examining the best ways to
act/react with her kids (yet).
She'll get it---or she won't. ANd she can delete all email from me,
personally, or even leave the list. I have to assume that she's here
for a reason.
If my posts don't suit you---you may also block my emails or leave the
list. You could also give better advice/suggestions or in a better
manner than I do---that's FINE, and I encourage it.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
__________________________________________________________
More new features than ever. Check out the new AOL Mail ! -
http://webmail.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I have had the immense pleasure of meeting Kelly IRL and even having her, her DH and Duncan in my house.
She is a petite soft spoken, funny, extremely smart, delightful with her soft southern accent, entertaining , person.
I have called Kelly when I was not being the best I could be as a mom. I called her because I knew I could count on her too give me that kick on the but I needed. I don't need no one to give me a pat on the shoulder when I KNOW I need to change.
Even when doing that she was so sweet and supportive and soft spoken. It makes a huge difference when you can actually hear the person's voice.
Kelly is an awesome person and mother. A great friend and someone I look up to.
Maybe someday I will be like her....
Love,
Alex
kbcdlovejo@... wrote:
Original message:
If people, when they are sharing their wisdom with other parents,
would be as kind and respectful as they are suggesting being with the
children, maybe Karen would not be feeling so abused. In other words,
practice what you preach?
-=-=-=-
I wasn't going to let this through but decided to so that I could
address it.
NO ONE is forced to be here. If you don't like the manner in which the
advice/suggestions are given, please give your own advice/suggestions
in the way you think would be better.
Or leave.
Karen is not my child in my living room. She came here seeking
something different. I can't make her change, but I can give her A LOT
to think about.
If my child came in and asked something similar, I'd give exactly the
same advice. I'm sure my children would hear the love and concern in my
voice---because that's what they're used to hearing.
If you're used to hearing things as an attack, chances are you will
hear *everything* as an attack.
I "practice" EXACTLY what I "preach"---to understand the needs and of
the CHILD. Karen is no child. No one here is. I suggest putting
yourself in that child's shoes. If *I* were her child, I would not feel
my mother was helping me, *I* would feel that she was giving me no help
at all and frustrating the hell out of me. It's about how the *child*
perceives what the parent is doing/saying.
We are adults and have many more tools to help us understand the world.
Our children cannot be expected to do that without many more years
here. We can help them by modeling with/for them and by helping them
get what they want. OR...we can make them more frustrated and make them
grasp for *whatever* and make themselves and others miserable in the
process.
By being their partners and working *with* them, we empower them.
I guess I could have said, "Yeah---you said/did the right things. He
needs to buck up and realize that the world's NOT his oyster."
But two good ways that humans learn is by what's modeled for us and by
self-examination. You may think I could have modeled more empathy,
maybe? I'm fully empathetic with the *child*. I even empathize with
Karen's plight. I've been there---but that doesn't mean I will
sugar-coat my advice.
Karen wasn't modeling her best---nor is she examining the best ways to
act/react with her kids (yet).
She'll get it---or she won't. ANd she can delete all email from me,
personally, or even leave the list. I have to assume that she's here
for a reason.
If my posts don't suit you---you may also block my emails or leave the
list. You could also give better advice/suggestions or in a better
manner than I do---that's FINE, and I encourage it.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
__________________________________________________________
More new features than ever. Check out the new AOL Mail ! -
http://webmail.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]