School Memories
Kendrah Nilsestuen
I was speaking with my mom the other night. We were talking about my
brother. He has struggled most his life, often turning to drugs &
alcohol to relieve his pain. I asked my mom what she thought happened
along the way. Why did my brother slide deeper and deeper into
depression, alcoholism and drug use. She said that she takes primary
responsibility for what happened. She should of been more aware, more
conscious of what he was going through. Then she said that she
thought school played a big part as well. That it was her failure to
protect him in the way she should of that ultimately was the cause of
his troubles. My brother's elementary years were in the 70's, mine
were in the 80's. We are 10 years apart in age. She told me about the
3rd grade teacher who put him behind a large box in the classroom, to
isolate him because he was so disruptive. About his 4th grade teacher
(different school because my mom removed him when she found out about
the box) who called him retarded to his face. I asked her what she
did in these times and she said that she gave the teacher a piece of
her mind, told the principal, and removed my brother from the school.
How many other children had their self worth destroyed by these
teachers I guess we'll never know.
Then we talked about my school days. I had to go to a babysitter
after school in kindergarten. Since it was a half day (I went
mornings) I brought my lunch with me. My Reeces Peanut Butter Cup
fell out of my backpack. The teacher saw it and took it away. Told me
if I didn't have enough for the whole class, I shouldn't bring any.
She probably just wanted to eat it for herself! The 4th grade gym
teacher who would put us over his knee on our birthdays and give us
"birthday spankings", my mom actually went to the principal about him
on this one (because I told her what was going on). Then their was
the art teacher (can't remember what grade) who threw a roll of
masking tape at another child in my class in anger. The 6th grade
teacher who who would lightly swat me on the butt every time I would
get up from doing a book report at his desk.
My mom said (now crying) "ya know, you send your child, the most
precious thing in your life into this building full of strangers.
They are from who knows where, with who knows what background. You
trust (blindly) that they have the best interest of your child at
heart. Because you are told that they do. You want to believe they
do. Then they damage your child. You've (speaking of herself) spent
so much time damaging the relationship with your child yourself that
they don't feel comfortable, or are too embarrassed to open up about
what is going on. So, instead they suffer. And the suffering is so
unnecessary that when you become my age all you can do is look back
with such clarity and see all the things that should of been done
differently."
Wow. I think my mom has finally gotten it.
Kendrah
brother. He has struggled most his life, often turning to drugs &
alcohol to relieve his pain. I asked my mom what she thought happened
along the way. Why did my brother slide deeper and deeper into
depression, alcoholism and drug use. She said that she takes primary
responsibility for what happened. She should of been more aware, more
conscious of what he was going through. Then she said that she
thought school played a big part as well. That it was her failure to
protect him in the way she should of that ultimately was the cause of
his troubles. My brother's elementary years were in the 70's, mine
were in the 80's. We are 10 years apart in age. She told me about the
3rd grade teacher who put him behind a large box in the classroom, to
isolate him because he was so disruptive. About his 4th grade teacher
(different school because my mom removed him when she found out about
the box) who called him retarded to his face. I asked her what she
did in these times and she said that she gave the teacher a piece of
her mind, told the principal, and removed my brother from the school.
How many other children had their self worth destroyed by these
teachers I guess we'll never know.
Then we talked about my school days. I had to go to a babysitter
after school in kindergarten. Since it was a half day (I went
mornings) I brought my lunch with me. My Reeces Peanut Butter Cup
fell out of my backpack. The teacher saw it and took it away. Told me
if I didn't have enough for the whole class, I shouldn't bring any.
She probably just wanted to eat it for herself! The 4th grade gym
teacher who would put us over his knee on our birthdays and give us
"birthday spankings", my mom actually went to the principal about him
on this one (because I told her what was going on). Then their was
the art teacher (can't remember what grade) who threw a roll of
masking tape at another child in my class in anger. The 6th grade
teacher who who would lightly swat me on the butt every time I would
get up from doing a book report at his desk.
My mom said (now crying) "ya know, you send your child, the most
precious thing in your life into this building full of strangers.
They are from who knows where, with who knows what background. You
trust (blindly) that they have the best interest of your child at
heart. Because you are told that they do. You want to believe they
do. Then they damage your child. You've (speaking of herself) spent
so much time damaging the relationship with your child yourself that
they don't feel comfortable, or are too embarrassed to open up about
what is going on. So, instead they suffer. And the suffering is so
unnecessary that when you become my age all you can do is look back
with such clarity and see all the things that should of been done
differently."
Wow. I think my mom has finally gotten it.
Kendrah
BRIAN POLIKOWSKY
Wow Kendrah. Sorry about your brother. Mine went thru a similar life in school. He also did drugs, but was finally doing better married with 2 kids when he died at 24.
My mom still feels she could have done things differently but I tell her she was doing the best she knew at the time. She says she wishes she knew about unschooling then.
Alex
Kendrah Nilsestuen <carebear-79@...> wrote:
I was speaking with my mom the other night. We were talking about my
brother. He has struggled most his life, often turning to drugs &
alcohol to relieve his pain. I asked my mom what she thought happened
along the way. Why did my brother slide deeper and deeper into
depression, alcoholism and drug use. She said that she takes primary
responsibility for what happened. She should of been more aware, more
conscious of what he was going through. Then she said that she
thought school played a big part as well. That it was her failure to
protect him in the way she should of that ultimately was the cause of
his troubles. My brother's elementary years were in the 70's, mine
were in the 80's. We are 10 years apart in age. She told me about the
3rd grade teacher who put him behind a large box in the classroom, to
isolate him because he was so disruptive. About his 4th grade teacher
(different school because my mom removed him when she found out about
the box) who called him retarded to his face. I asked her what she
did in these times and she said that she gave the teacher a piece of
her mind, told the principal, and removed my brother from the school.
How many other children had their self worth destroyed by these
teachers I guess we'll never know.
Then we talked about my school days. I had to go to a babysitter
after school in kindergarten. Since it was a half day (I went
mornings) I brought my lunch with me. My Reeces Peanut Butter Cup
fell out of my backpack. The teacher saw it and took it away. Told me
if I didn't have enough for the whole class, I shouldn't bring any.
She probably just wanted to eat it for herself! The 4th grade gym
teacher who would put us over his knee on our birthdays and give us
"birthday spankings", my mom actually went to the principal about him
on this one (because I told her what was going on). Then their was
the art teacher (can't remember what grade) who threw a roll of
masking tape at another child in my class in anger. The 6th grade
teacher who who would lightly swat me on the butt every time I would
get up from doing a book report at his desk.
My mom said (now crying) "ya know, you send your child, the most
precious thing in your life into this building full of strangers.
They are from who knows where, with who knows what background. You
trust (blindly) that they have the best interest of your child at
heart. Because you are told that they do. You want to believe they
do. Then they damage your child. You've (speaking of herself) spent
so much time damaging the relationship with your child yourself that
they don't feel comfortable, or are too embarrassed to open up about
what is going on. So, instead they suffer. And the suffering is so
unnecessary that when you become my age all you can do is look back
with such clarity and see all the things that should of been done
differently."
Wow. I think my mom has finally gotten it.
Kendrah
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My mom still feels she could have done things differently but I tell her she was doing the best she knew at the time. She says she wishes she knew about unschooling then.
Alex
Kendrah Nilsestuen <carebear-79@...> wrote:
I was speaking with my mom the other night. We were talking about my
brother. He has struggled most his life, often turning to drugs &
alcohol to relieve his pain. I asked my mom what she thought happened
along the way. Why did my brother slide deeper and deeper into
depression, alcoholism and drug use. She said that she takes primary
responsibility for what happened. She should of been more aware, more
conscious of what he was going through. Then she said that she
thought school played a big part as well. That it was her failure to
protect him in the way she should of that ultimately was the cause of
his troubles. My brother's elementary years were in the 70's, mine
were in the 80's. We are 10 years apart in age. She told me about the
3rd grade teacher who put him behind a large box in the classroom, to
isolate him because he was so disruptive. About his 4th grade teacher
(different school because my mom removed him when she found out about
the box) who called him retarded to his face. I asked her what she
did in these times and she said that she gave the teacher a piece of
her mind, told the principal, and removed my brother from the school.
How many other children had their self worth destroyed by these
teachers I guess we'll never know.
Then we talked about my school days. I had to go to a babysitter
after school in kindergarten. Since it was a half day (I went
mornings) I brought my lunch with me. My Reeces Peanut Butter Cup
fell out of my backpack. The teacher saw it and took it away. Told me
if I didn't have enough for the whole class, I shouldn't bring any.
She probably just wanted to eat it for herself! The 4th grade gym
teacher who would put us over his knee on our birthdays and give us
"birthday spankings", my mom actually went to the principal about him
on this one (because I told her what was going on). Then their was
the art teacher (can't remember what grade) who threw a roll of
masking tape at another child in my class in anger. The 6th grade
teacher who who would lightly swat me on the butt every time I would
get up from doing a book report at his desk.
My mom said (now crying) "ya know, you send your child, the most
precious thing in your life into this building full of strangers.
They are from who knows where, with who knows what background. You
trust (blindly) that they have the best interest of your child at
heart. Because you are told that they do. You want to believe they
do. Then they damage your child. You've (speaking of herself) spent
so much time damaging the relationship with your child yourself that
they don't feel comfortable, or are too embarrassed to open up about
what is going on. So, instead they suffer. And the suffering is so
unnecessary that when you become my age all you can do is look back
with such clarity and see all the things that should of been done
differently."
Wow. I think my mom has finally gotten it.
Kendrah
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Alysia
Kendrah,
Reading that made me so sad. I think of the awful things that happened to me in school. I wonder what awful things may have happened to my oldest ds in school. I know about some but wonder if there is stuff he is not telling me.
Alysia
---------------------------------
Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Reading that made me so sad. I think of the awful things that happened to me in school. I wonder what awful things may have happened to my oldest ds in school. I know about some but wonder if there is stuff he is not telling me.
Alysia
---------------------------------
Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kathleen Gehrke
Kendrah,
Your post also brought tears to my eyes. Tears for your brother, your
mom, for my own school scars.
HUGS
Kathleen
Your post also brought tears to my eyes. Tears for your brother, your
mom, for my own school scars.
HUGS
Kathleen