Re: A bit of neurotic panic from a newbie
Ren Allen
~~Should I be enrolling the kids into classes?? Am I *failing* them if
I don't? Can we not just dance around the living room and have a
"music class"? Or how about when we read books, is that as good as
preschool?? Or when we draw or bake? What else do we HAVE to be
doing to be "developing all the latent talents" and so on???~~
It's exactly "enough". Not only is it enough, it is the BEST for young
children to be safe and nurtured at home as a place to discover new
interests and grow. I have personally seen classes suck the joy right
out of something young children loved. How is our own rhythm, our own
way of dancing "less than" just because some expert isn't teaching it?
Later on they will expand out into the world more and more. Right now,
it sounds like everyone is healthy, happy and learning peacefully. The
doubt is probably not your internal mama voice but societal messages
(and maybe pressure from other family members?).
Take a deep breathe, look at your happy children and trust that they
are connecting every neural pathway they need to right now.:)
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
I don't? Can we not just dance around the living room and have a
"music class"? Or how about when we read books, is that as good as
preschool?? Or when we draw or bake? What else do we HAVE to be
doing to be "developing all the latent talents" and so on???~~
It's exactly "enough". Not only is it enough, it is the BEST for young
children to be safe and nurtured at home as a place to discover new
interests and grow. I have personally seen classes suck the joy right
out of something young children loved. How is our own rhythm, our own
way of dancing "less than" just because some expert isn't teaching it?
Later on they will expand out into the world more and more. Right now,
it sounds like everyone is healthy, happy and learning peacefully. The
doubt is probably not your internal mama voice but societal messages
(and maybe pressure from other family members?).
Take a deep breathe, look at your happy children and trust that they
are connecting every neural pathway they need to right now.:)
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
swissarmy_wife
I don't think your nuts. But how about those grandparents who think
that a 3 year old and an 19 month old should be "enrolled" somewhere!
Follow your heart. If your happy, then why worry? I know parents who
do too much and they are not happy. When your children are older and
they are interested in something, they will tell you! Trust them to
have their own interests. Not their grandparents.
--- In [email protected], "Agnieszka"
<mama_agnieszka@...> wrote:
that a 3 year old and an 19 month old should be "enrolled" somewhere!
Follow your heart. If your happy, then why worry? I know parents who
do too much and they are not happy. When your children are older and
they are interested in something, they will tell you! Trust them to
have their own interests. Not their grandparents.
--- In [email protected], "Agnieszka"
<mama_agnieszka@...> wrote:
>
> Hi all,
> I know this will sound neurotic, so be warned. And really, I just
> need to vent my panicky feelings. I have 3 year old and a 19 month
> old, and probably really have nothing to worry about... but here it
> goes.
>
> Both sets of grandparents live in town and recently the pressure is
> to enroll the girls in "Something" - gymnastics, music lessons,
> swimming classes, pre-school - has been building.
rebecca de
Kids need the freedom to explore on their own!! I worked at a daycare where everything had to be very structured. Now since I had been introduced to unschooling at the time , inside I was always feeling trapped myself. Sooo if I felt trapped how did those kids feel... I loved teaching the pre-school I tried to have lots of variety or centers for the kids to rotate around too ... However, it was what I choose for them to do not them. Plus, we had to have rug time and the owner wanted me to do flash cards -- ick now some kids liked them ---tried to find other weays to make fun. however making 2 1/2 yr olds to 6 years old sit still is not easy and is really not natural. the sometime we put in a high chair just to keep them still.... and they were threatened with not going out side.. (not my choice) Plus, at nap time Patty was very fanatical about getting all of them down.. (not all kids want a nap -- again she would threaten to take something away) . Reason I'm
telling you all this, is most daycares are very structured and not really child-led per se.. At the daycare I worked everyones intentions were good most of the time-- put as most places its about what the adults want!!! Against my grain for sure -- the owner used to make comments all the time about me "not getting them under control" or that they were too loud ada, ada, ada. Found myself yelling than too for them to settle down or quiet down -- then she would turn around and get after me?? Anyway now I'm venting.. My point was that even though people need to utilize daycares and such --if you want your kids home with you than let it be so.
Oh another note. Between 2 1/2 and 3 I signed my son up for a cool music class at the Flint instute of Music... Well, in short he didn't really like it... I felt that because he loved music and loved to dance around and sing in the microphone at home that he would really like this -- NOT ..
Again, if you and only you want to have your girls go to dance, gymnastics whatever, most instructors would let you come in and observe to see if its a nice fit. Just recently I did that with my boy (5 years old) with Tae kwon do. He kept saying he liked to try it -- so I called the people up and the lady had me come in and she showed Ian a few of the pieces they use for learning and then let him pick out some piece he was interested in.... last night was his first night and he stepped right in!! It's very play oriented - love it.
Ok there's enough of my two cents.
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
telling you all this, is most daycares are very structured and not really child-led per se.. At the daycare I worked everyones intentions were good most of the time-- put as most places its about what the adults want!!! Against my grain for sure -- the owner used to make comments all the time about me "not getting them under control" or that they were too loud ada, ada, ada. Found myself yelling than too for them to settle down or quiet down -- then she would turn around and get after me?? Anyway now I'm venting.. My point was that even though people need to utilize daycares and such --if you want your kids home with you than let it be so.
Oh another note. Between 2 1/2 and 3 I signed my son up for a cool music class at the Flint instute of Music... Well, in short he didn't really like it... I felt that because he loved music and loved to dance around and sing in the microphone at home that he would really like this -- NOT ..
Again, if you and only you want to have your girls go to dance, gymnastics whatever, most instructors would let you come in and observe to see if its a nice fit. Just recently I did that with my boy (5 years old) with Tae kwon do. He kept saying he liked to try it -- so I called the people up and the lady had me come in and she showed Ian a few of the pieces they use for learning and then let him pick out some piece he was interested in.... last night was his first night and he stepped right in!! It's very play oriented - love it.
Ok there's enough of my two cents.
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
jenniferbreseman
Could it be a winter thing too? It seems like we're not doing much
right now, but come spring there are so many places to explore and
much more for little ones to do. I like to think of winter as a kind
of "hybernation". That way, I'm not lazy, just in tune with the
natural world:) It's easier to get down this time of year in
general. It sounds like you're doing great! Baking is fun. Water
play can be great too. A bath in the middle of the day, maybe with
some colored water and stuff you don't usually take in the bath
(kitchen containers, utensils, sand toys ...)
--- In [email protected], "swissarmy_wife"
<heatherbean@...> wrote:
right now, but come spring there are so many places to explore and
much more for little ones to do. I like to think of winter as a kind
of "hybernation". That way, I'm not lazy, just in tune with the
natural world:) It's easier to get down this time of year in
general. It sounds like you're doing great! Baking is fun. Water
play can be great too. A bath in the middle of the day, maybe with
some colored water and stuff you don't usually take in the bath
(kitchen containers, utensils, sand toys ...)
--- In [email protected], "swissarmy_wife"
<heatherbean@...> wrote:
>somewhere!
> I don't think your nuts. But how about those grandparents who think
> that a 3 year old and an 19 month old should be "enrolled"
>who
> Follow your heart. If your happy, then why worry? I know parents
> do too much and they are not happy. When your children are olderand
> they are interested in something, they will tell you! Trust them tomonth
> have their own interests. Not their grandparents.
>
> --- In [email protected], "Agnieszka"
> <mama_agnieszka@> wrote:
> >
> > Hi all,
> > I know this will sound neurotic, so be warned. And really, I just
> > need to vent my panicky feelings. I have 3 year old and a 19
> > old, and probably really have nothing to worry about... but hereit
> > goes.is
> >
> > Both sets of grandparents live in town and recently the pressure
> > to enroll the girls in "Something" - gymnastics, music lessons,
> > swimming classes, pre-school - has been building.
>
Debra Rossing
It really depends - some kids thrive on being out and about, mixing with
lots of other people. Others are better with a sprinkling of going to
the park here adn there but nothing really scheduled. When DS was that
age, we had a rule of thumb of no more than 3 outside the house "events"
per week - Bible class was one, a park day might be two, a group trip of
some sort with our hs group would be 3 and that's it. Each week would
vary - sometimes it was simply DS and DH going to a local park a couple
times to run around. Too much going and doing would set DS up for
meltdowns as the week went on. Too little going and doing would create a
surplus of energy that he needed to vent. Balance was key.
When DS was around 3, we enrolled him in one of those activity/playtime
things for a winter season. We figured it'd give him an outlet for
energy since winter in New England is not always the best place to get
outdoors (particularly since we were in an apartment at the time, not a
lot of indoor OR outdoor space to play). The first couple of times went
well. After that, the "scheduled" activities/themes started to get to be
a problem - the routine was play, sit quietly and listen to a story, do
organized activities. Well, DS didn't WANT to sit quietly and listen
while surrounded with all this COOL play stuff (and the stuff was indeed
cool, lots of climbing stuff, mats to jump on/into, and so on). So, DH
(he's the at home parent) would supervise DS while he played off to the
side while the other kids sat quietly (but eyed DS all the while). After
a couple of those times, some of the other kids wanted to play as well
which created a bit of tension. I don't think DS finished out that
'session' and we never went back. We did however invest in a
mini-trampoline that he could bounce in in the little bit of living room
space we had at the time. That was plenty.
All that to say It Depends. You are the expert on your kids. DO they
need something more right now? Are they acting like they need to get out
more? Are there resources you don't have available at home that might be
interesting to explore? There are no "have to"s at all - it all depends
on the whole mix of stuff that is unique to your family.
Deb
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lots of other people. Others are better with a sprinkling of going to
the park here adn there but nothing really scheduled. When DS was that
age, we had a rule of thumb of no more than 3 outside the house "events"
per week - Bible class was one, a park day might be two, a group trip of
some sort with our hs group would be 3 and that's it. Each week would
vary - sometimes it was simply DS and DH going to a local park a couple
times to run around. Too much going and doing would set DS up for
meltdowns as the week went on. Too little going and doing would create a
surplus of energy that he needed to vent. Balance was key.
When DS was around 3, we enrolled him in one of those activity/playtime
things for a winter season. We figured it'd give him an outlet for
energy since winter in New England is not always the best place to get
outdoors (particularly since we were in an apartment at the time, not a
lot of indoor OR outdoor space to play). The first couple of times went
well. After that, the "scheduled" activities/themes started to get to be
a problem - the routine was play, sit quietly and listen to a story, do
organized activities. Well, DS didn't WANT to sit quietly and listen
while surrounded with all this COOL play stuff (and the stuff was indeed
cool, lots of climbing stuff, mats to jump on/into, and so on). So, DH
(he's the at home parent) would supervise DS while he played off to the
side while the other kids sat quietly (but eyed DS all the while). After
a couple of those times, some of the other kids wanted to play as well
which created a bit of tension. I don't think DS finished out that
'session' and we never went back. We did however invest in a
mini-trampoline that he could bounce in in the little bit of living room
space we had at the time. That was plenty.
All that to say It Depends. You are the expert on your kids. DO they
need something more right now? Are they acting like they need to get out
more? Are there resources you don't have available at home that might be
interesting to explore? There are no "have to"s at all - it all depends
on the whole mix of stuff that is unique to your family.
Deb
**********************************************************************
This email and any files transmitted with it are confidential and
intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to whom they
are addressed. If you have received this email in error please notify
the system manager.
This footnote also confirms that this email message has been swept by
MIMEsweeper for the presence of computer viruses.
CNC Software, Inc.
www.mastercam.com
**********************************************************************
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jodi Bezzola
"rule of thumb"
Just an FYI, as most are unaware of the origin of this expression (my very well-read father shared the origin with me recently).
Historically, when men could still legally 'own' women and could still legally beat them, there was a law that said the men could only beat women with something no bigger than their thumb - hence 'rule of thumb'. Yuck.
Jodi
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Just an FYI, as most are unaware of the origin of this expression (my very well-read father shared the origin with me recently).
Historically, when men could still legally 'own' women and could still legally beat them, there was a law that said the men could only beat women with something no bigger than their thumb - hence 'rule of thumb'. Yuck.
Jodi
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Stephen
This may be more myth than fact.
See:
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/000512.html
http://userpages.umbc.edu/~korenman/wmst/ruleofthumb.html
http://womenshistory.about.com/od/mythsofwomenshistory/a/rule_of_thumb.htm
for some references.
It's origins most likely come from the woodworker connection, and I can
recall as a boy carpenters still using their digits as an ad-hoc ruler and
the phrase being commonly used to mean any common measuring rule or
educated guess.
At 08:58 AM 1/31/2008 -0800, you wrote:
See:
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/000512.html
http://userpages.umbc.edu/~korenman/wmst/ruleofthumb.html
http://womenshistory.about.com/od/mythsofwomenshistory/a/rule_of_thumb.htm
for some references.
It's origins most likely come from the woodworker connection, and I can
recall as a boy carpenters still using their digits as an ad-hoc ruler and
the phrase being commonly used to mean any common measuring rule or
educated guess.
At 08:58 AM 1/31/2008 -0800, you wrote:
>"rule of thumb"
>
>Just an FYI, as most are unaware of the origin of this expression (my very
>well-read father shared the origin with me recently).
>
>Historically, when men could still legally 'own' women and could still
>legally beat them, there was a law that said the men could only beat women
>with something no bigger than their thumb - hence 'rule of thumb'. Yuck.
>
>Jodi
>
>---------------------------------
marji
Not to diss your dad by any means, but that origin is considered
questionable at best:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rule_of_thumb#Origin_of_the_phrase
Quoting briefly from the article, "The term is thought to originate
with wood workers who used the length of their thumbs rather than
rulers for measuring things." (This explanation seems a bit more
reasonable to me.)
At 11:58 1/31/2008, you wrote:
http://www.joyfullyparenting.com
Live Fully ~ Live JoyFully!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
questionable at best:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rule_of_thumb#Origin_of_the_phrase
Quoting briefly from the article, "The term is thought to originate
with wood workers who used the length of their thumbs rather than
rulers for measuring things." (This explanation seems a bit more
reasonable to me.)
At 11:58 1/31/2008, you wrote:
> "rule of thumb"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Just an FYI, as most are unaware of the origin of this expression
> (my very well-read father shared the origin with me recently).
>
> Historically, when men could still legally 'own' women and could
> still legally beat them, there was a law that said the men could
> only beat women with something no bigger than their thumb - hence
> 'rule of thumb'. Yuck.
http://www.joyfullyparenting.com
Live Fully ~ Live JoyFully!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jodi Bezzola
The definition my dad got was from a book by someone who researched the origins of all kinds of expressions...I'm going to do a little more research of my own, and thanks for this much more pleasant definition :o).
Jodi
marji <marji@...> wrote:
Not to diss your dad by any means, but that origin is considered
questionable at best:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rule_of_thumb#Origin_of_the_phrase
Quoting briefly from the article, "The term is thought to originate
with wood workers who used the length of their thumbs rather than
rulers for measuring things." (This explanation seems a bit more
reasonable to me.)
At 11:58 1/31/2008, you wrote:
http://www.joyfullyparenting.com
Live Fully ~ Live JoyFully!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jodi
marji <marji@...> wrote:
Not to diss your dad by any means, but that origin is considered
questionable at best:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rule_of_thumb#Origin_of_the_phrase
Quoting briefly from the article, "The term is thought to originate
with wood workers who used the length of their thumbs rather than
rulers for measuring things." (This explanation seems a bit more
reasonable to me.)
At 11:58 1/31/2008, you wrote:
> "rule of thumb"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Just an FYI, as most are unaware of the origin of this expression
> (my very well-read father shared the origin with me recently).
>
> Historically, when men could still legally 'own' women and could
> still legally beat them, there was a law that said the men could
> only beat women with something no bigger than their thumb - hence
> 'rule of thumb'. Yuck.
http://www.joyfullyparenting.com
Live Fully ~ Live JoyFully!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
---------------------------------
Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Michelle Thedaker
I often go through periods of panic about our outside activities. These
periods seem to cycle, with less and less time in the panic mode as I trust
myself and my children more. I used to forcefully strive to involve my
older son in outside activities, thinking that this was "best" for him,
because of his social differences due to Autism. Some of the activities we
chose were lots of fun, some weren't. Looking back on his earlier years
(1-5) I believe I forced him into way too many contrived social
"opportunities" for "his own good". Gah, that sounds so distasteful to me
now! As Drew has gotten older (8.5 now) he has clearly been able to tell me
what he wants to do and how often. I've finally woken up to the fact that
his social needs are *not* mine, or his brother's, or his father's (although
they are much closer to Dad's than anyone's). My younger son and I love
people! We like to be out and about, visiting and active. Drew isn't that
way, although he does enjoy people, it's on a much smaller scale. He's not
being deprived of friendships or social interactions, he's choosing his own
comfort level for these things.
I'm certain I will continue to wax and wane through the panics on this
subject, but look forward to them disappearing completely as I trust and
trust and *trust*. :-)
Shell & Da Boys
Drew, 8.5 & Josh, 4.5
_____
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of jenniferbreseman
Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2008 7:12 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: A bit of neurotic panic from a newbie
Could it be a winter thing too? It seems like we're not doing much
right now, but come spring there are so many places to explore and
much more for little ones to do. I like to think of winter as a kind
of "hybernation". That way, I'm not lazy, just in tune with the
natural world:) It's easier to get down this time of year in
general. It sounds like you're doing great! Baking is fun. Water
play can be great too. A bath in the middle of the day, maybe with
some colored water and stuff you don't usually take in the bath
(kitchen containers, utensils, sand toys ...)
--- In unschoolingbasics@ <mailto:unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com>
yahoogroups.com, "swissarmy_wife"
<heatherbean@...> wrote:
periods seem to cycle, with less and less time in the panic mode as I trust
myself and my children more. I used to forcefully strive to involve my
older son in outside activities, thinking that this was "best" for him,
because of his social differences due to Autism. Some of the activities we
chose were lots of fun, some weren't. Looking back on his earlier years
(1-5) I believe I forced him into way too many contrived social
"opportunities" for "his own good". Gah, that sounds so distasteful to me
now! As Drew has gotten older (8.5 now) he has clearly been able to tell me
what he wants to do and how often. I've finally woken up to the fact that
his social needs are *not* mine, or his brother's, or his father's (although
they are much closer to Dad's than anyone's). My younger son and I love
people! We like to be out and about, visiting and active. Drew isn't that
way, although he does enjoy people, it's on a much smaller scale. He's not
being deprived of friendships or social interactions, he's choosing his own
comfort level for these things.
I'm certain I will continue to wax and wane through the panics on this
subject, but look forward to them disappearing completely as I trust and
trust and *trust*. :-)
Shell & Da Boys
Drew, 8.5 & Josh, 4.5
_____
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of jenniferbreseman
Sent: Thursday, January 31, 2008 7:12 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: A bit of neurotic panic from a newbie
Could it be a winter thing too? It seems like we're not doing much
right now, but come spring there are so many places to explore and
much more for little ones to do. I like to think of winter as a kind
of "hybernation". That way, I'm not lazy, just in tune with the
natural world:) It's easier to get down this time of year in
general. It sounds like you're doing great! Baking is fun. Water
play can be great too. A bath in the middle of the day, maybe with
some colored water and stuff you don't usually take in the bath
(kitchen containers, utensils, sand toys ...)
--- In unschoolingbasics@ <mailto:unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com>
yahoogroups.com, "swissarmy_wife"
<heatherbean@...> wrote:
>somewhere!
> I don't think your nuts. But how about those grandparents who think
> that a 3 year old and an 19 month old should be "enrolled"
>who
> Follow your heart. If your happy, then why worry? I know parents
> do too much and they are not happy. When your children are olderand
> they are interested in something, they will tell you! Trust them toyahoogroups.com, "Agnieszka"
> have their own interests. Not their grandparents.
>
> --- In unschoolingbasics@ <mailto:unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com>
> <mama_agnieszka@> wrote:month
> >
> > Hi all,
> > I know this will sound neurotic, so be warned. And really, I just
> > need to vent my panicky feelings. I have 3 year old and a 19
> > old, and probably really have nothing to worry about... but hereit
> > goes.is
> >
> > Both sets of grandparents live in town and recently the pressure
> > to enroll the girls in "Something" - gymnastics, music lessons,[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> > swimming classes, pre-school - has been building.
>
trektheory
Well, since my "little one" is now 16, my memory may be foggy, but my
feeling is -- if your girls (well, really just the older one -- 19
months is awfully young to get anything out of most of those sort of
things) WANT any of those activities, then fine, but otherwise --
really, what purpose is there? If they want to do one of them, maybe
see if you can sit in on a class and see if your dd would enjoy it.
If she wants to go back -- that would be the cue, but if she doesn't,
simply tell well-intended relatives, "She just isn't ready for more
activities outside the home right now. The plate seems full enough
right now."
That said, if you live in an area where there are a lot of pools, or
own one, you might consider swimming lessons for safety purposes, or
keep a VERY vigilant eye out. I hate reading about children drowning
every year, but it seems to happen.
And when they have colds, that is NOT the time to introduce anything
new. That's usually when kids want the comfort of old familiar
things, not new stimulus. Even if it is watching the Grinch a
gazillion times in February. (Can you tell I am speaking from
experience? :-))
Linda
--- In [email protected], "Agnieszka"
<mama_agnieszka@...> wrote:
feeling is -- if your girls (well, really just the older one -- 19
months is awfully young to get anything out of most of those sort of
things) WANT any of those activities, then fine, but otherwise --
really, what purpose is there? If they want to do one of them, maybe
see if you can sit in on a class and see if your dd would enjoy it.
If she wants to go back -- that would be the cue, but if she doesn't,
simply tell well-intended relatives, "She just isn't ready for more
activities outside the home right now. The plate seems full enough
right now."
That said, if you live in an area where there are a lot of pools, or
own one, you might consider swimming lessons for safety purposes, or
keep a VERY vigilant eye out. I hate reading about children drowning
every year, but it seems to happen.
And when they have colds, that is NOT the time to introduce anything
new. That's usually when kids want the comfort of old familiar
things, not new stimulus. Even if it is watching the Grinch a
gazillion times in February. (Can you tell I am speaking from
experience? :-))
Linda
--- In [email protected], "Agnieszka"
<mama_agnieszka@...> wrote:
>
> Hi all,
> I know this will sound neurotic, so be warned. And really, I just
> need to vent my panicky feelings. I have 3 year old and a 19 month
> old, and probably really have nothing to worry about... but here it
> goes.
>
> Both sets of grandparents live in town and recently the pressure is
> to enroll the girls in "Something" - gymnastics, music lessons,
> swimming classes, pre-school - has been building.
>
> I have said over and over again that we are enjoying our learning time
> together at home. But now the doubt has set in: am I doing enough?
> am I providing a stimulating environment? WHAT IS a stimulating
> environment???? Honestly, I don't know! And recently, the girls have
> both been sick and it's been incredibly cold, so we are at home,
> everyday, watching dvd's and reading books, and baking cookies with
> dada. I love these days! But I am stricken with guilt! That annoying
> incessant voice in the back of my mind: "you're not doing enough, you
> should be doing crafts, solving puzzles, making homemade play dough,
> painting, building intricate block creations... YOU'RE NOT DOING
> ENOUGH"!!!
>
> Should I be enrolling the kids into classes?? Am I *failing* them if
> I don't? Can we not just dance around the living room and have a
> "music class"? Or how about when we read books, is that as good as
> preschool?? Or when we draw or bake? What else do we HAVE to be
> doing to be "developing all the latent talents" and so on???
>
> Have you felt this? Did you go ahead and enroll the kids in
> something? Is it okay if they just watch some dvd's, read some books,
> make some messes, draw some pictures, have some light fights with each
> other, and go to sleep??? Is it okay if we don't do anything much of
> anything when it's cold? (I feel totally ridiculous even asking these
> questions... but, hey, I gotta do something!).
>
> What kinds of activities do you do together with your little ones?
> See, I'm just learning the philosophy of unschooling... Right now, my
> 3 year old loves Mr.Dressup (we're in Canada) and Franklin, and she
> wants to watch the dvds constantly and to read Franklin stories. And
> the monotony is what I worry about - not enough exciting stimulation...
>
> What do y'all think? Am I nuts?
>
> Cheers,
> Agnieszka
>
Jodi Bezzola
I've been having some of those same thoughts, although nothing near panic. We've all been sick off and on for most of January, and it's been *very* cold here for the last while, -30C with wind chill to make it feel like a balmy -44C, yikes. So...we've spent *lots* of time indoors! The funny thing is the girls seem to love it. I finally ventured out today to Costco, thought they'd be all over that, and they didn't want to go. They have loved coloring, playing with their toys, building a 'tent' with the dining room table and blankets, playing hide and seek, playing ring around the rosie, watching dvds, dancing to music, playing in the tub (yes, sometimes in the middle of the day), taking naps, 'helping' me in the kitchen, playing at the kitchen sink, nurtuting their 'babies', the list goes on and on.
They are very happy, very healthy, very active, very bright, very talkative, very loving, in short, very content with things as they are. When the weather was warmer we were at the bird sanctuary walking the trails, at the zoo all day, at various parks, lots and lots of time outside, but clearly this is the time for us to hunker down and hibernate a little! I have minded *much* less than I thought I would, and find myself not missing the outside world much either, so I know where they're coming from.
All I say is *trust*, they're getting all they being with you :o).
Jodi
trektheory <trektheory@...> wrote:
Well, since my "little one" is now 16, my memory may be foggy, but my
feeling is -- if your girls (well, really just the older one -- 19
months is awfully young to get anything out of most of those sort of
things) WANT any of those activities, then fine, but otherwise --
really, what purpose is there? If they want to do one of them, maybe
see if you can sit in on a class and see if your dd would enjoy it.
If she wants to go back -- that would be the cue, but if she doesn't,
simply tell well-intended relatives, "She just isn't ready for more
activities outside the home right now. The plate seems full enough
right now."
That said, if you live in an area where there are a lot of pools, or
own one, you might consider swimming lessons for safety purposes, or
keep a VERY vigilant eye out. I hate reading about children drowning
every year, but it seems to happen.
And when they have colds, that is NOT the time to introduce anything
new. That's usually when kids want the comfort of old familiar
things, not new stimulus. Even if it is watching the Grinch a
gazillion times in February. (Can you tell I am speaking from
experience? :-))
Linda
--- In [email protected], "Agnieszka"
<mama_agnieszka@...> wrote:
Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
They are very happy, very healthy, very active, very bright, very talkative, very loving, in short, very content with things as they are. When the weather was warmer we were at the bird sanctuary walking the trails, at the zoo all day, at various parks, lots and lots of time outside, but clearly this is the time for us to hunker down and hibernate a little! I have minded *much* less than I thought I would, and find myself not missing the outside world much either, so I know where they're coming from.
All I say is *trust*, they're getting all they being with you :o).
Jodi
trektheory <trektheory@...> wrote:
Well, since my "little one" is now 16, my memory may be foggy, but my
feeling is -- if your girls (well, really just the older one -- 19
months is awfully young to get anything out of most of those sort of
things) WANT any of those activities, then fine, but otherwise --
really, what purpose is there? If they want to do one of them, maybe
see if you can sit in on a class and see if your dd would enjoy it.
If she wants to go back -- that would be the cue, but if she doesn't,
simply tell well-intended relatives, "She just isn't ready for more
activities outside the home right now. The plate seems full enough
right now."
That said, if you live in an area where there are a lot of pools, or
own one, you might consider swimming lessons for safety purposes, or
keep a VERY vigilant eye out. I hate reading about children drowning
every year, but it seems to happen.
And when they have colds, that is NOT the time to introduce anything
new. That's usually when kids want the comfort of old familiar
things, not new stimulus. Even if it is watching the Grinch a
gazillion times in February. (Can you tell I am speaking from
experience? :-))
Linda
--- In [email protected], "Agnieszka"
<mama_agnieszka@...> wrote:
>---------------------------------
> Hi all,
> I know this will sound neurotic, so be warned. And really, I just
> need to vent my panicky feelings. I have 3 year old and a 19 month
> old, and probably really have nothing to worry about... but here it
> goes.
>
> Both sets of grandparents live in town and recently the pressure is
> to enroll the girls in "Something" - gymnastics, music lessons,
> swimming classes, pre-school - has been building.
>
> I have said over and over again that we are enjoying our learning time
> together at home. But now the doubt has set in: am I doing enough?
> am I providing a stimulating environment? WHAT IS a stimulating
> environment???? Honestly, I don't know! And recently, the girls have
> both been sick and it's been incredibly cold, so we are at home,
> everyday, watching dvd's and reading books, and baking cookies with
> dada. I love these days! But I am stricken with guilt! That annoying
> incessant voice in the back of my mind: "you're not doing enough, you
> should be doing crafts, solving puzzles, making homemade play dough,
> painting, building intricate block creations... YOU'RE NOT DOING
> ENOUGH"!!!
>
> Should I be enrolling the kids into classes?? Am I *failing* them if
> I don't? Can we not just dance around the living room and have a
> "music class"? Or how about when we read books, is that as good as
> preschool?? Or when we draw or bake? What else do we HAVE to be
> doing to be "developing all the latent talents" and so on???
>
> Have you felt this? Did you go ahead and enroll the kids in
> something? Is it okay if they just watch some dvd's, read some books,
> make some messes, draw some pictures, have some light fights with each
> other, and go to sleep??? Is it okay if we don't do anything much of
> anything when it's cold? (I feel totally ridiculous even asking these
> questions... but, hey, I gotta do something!).
>
> What kinds of activities do you do together with your little ones?
> See, I'm just learning the philosophy of unschooling... Right now, my
> 3 year old loves Mr.Dressup (we're in Canada) and Franklin, and she
> wants to watch the dvds constantly and to read Franklin stories. And
> the monotony is what I worry about - not enough exciting stimulation...
>
> What do y'all think? Am I nuts?
>
> Cheers,
> Agnieszka
>
Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: Agnieszka <mama_agnieszka@...>
And recently, the girls have
both been sick and it's been incredibly cold,
-=-=-=-=-
So---if they'd been enrolled in an activity, you wouldn't have made it
anyway, right?
So, you've saved a bunch of money. <g>
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
YOU'RE NOT DOING ENOUGH"!!!
-=--=-=-=-
Soooo....do you *really* feel that you're not doing enough? If so---go
DO something.
If not, relax and enjoy your days. I promise there will come a day soon
when you are just too busy to breathe. <g> Consider this time the
"stiring up" time. <G>
-=-=-=-=-=-
Should I be enrolling the kids into classes?? Am I *failing* them if
I don't? Can we not just dance around the living room and have a
"music class"? Or how about when we read books, is that as good as
preschool?? Or when we draw or bake? What else do we HAVE to be
doing to be "developing all the latent talents" and so on???
-=-=-=-=-
What do the children want?
-=-=-=-=-=-
What kinds of activities do you do together with your little ones?
See, I'm just learning the philosophy of unschooling... Right now, my
3 year old loves Mr.Dressup (we're in Canada) and Franklin, and she
wants to watch the dvds constantly and to read Franklin stories. And
the monotony is what I worry about - not enough exciting stimulation...
-=-=-=-=-
I baked and cooked a LOT with both boys (still do!). We read. We
watched movies. Bounced on the trampoline. Swam---pretty much all
summer. Both boys liked to draw and cut paper. Board games. Danced in
the kitchen. We travelled a lot---to visit friends, mostly. Had friends
over. We still do ALL that, and they are 20 and almost 12. <g> But
Duncan now likes Bionicles and video games, and Cameron likes hiking
and drumming. But our lives haven't changes much: we still do pretty
much the same thing! <g>
Relax and enjoy your time together. There's plenty of time for classes
and such!
OH! ANd tell the grandparents that family zoo and museum memberships
make GREAT gifts! Classes too, when the kids are ready.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
More new features than ever. Check out the new AOL Mail ! -
http://webmail.aol.com
From: Agnieszka <mama_agnieszka@...>
And recently, the girls have
both been sick and it's been incredibly cold,
-=-=-=-=-
So---if they'd been enrolled in an activity, you wouldn't have made it
anyway, right?
So, you've saved a bunch of money. <g>
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
YOU'RE NOT DOING ENOUGH"!!!
-=--=-=-=-
Soooo....do you *really* feel that you're not doing enough? If so---go
DO something.
If not, relax and enjoy your days. I promise there will come a day soon
when you are just too busy to breathe. <g> Consider this time the
"stiring up" time. <G>
-=-=-=-=-=-
Should I be enrolling the kids into classes?? Am I *failing* them if
I don't? Can we not just dance around the living room and have a
"music class"? Or how about when we read books, is that as good as
preschool?? Or when we draw or bake? What else do we HAVE to be
doing to be "developing all the latent talents" and so on???
-=-=-=-=-
What do the children want?
-=-=-=-=-=-
What kinds of activities do you do together with your little ones?
See, I'm just learning the philosophy of unschooling... Right now, my
3 year old loves Mr.Dressup (we're in Canada) and Franklin, and she
wants to watch the dvds constantly and to read Franklin stories. And
the monotony is what I worry about - not enough exciting stimulation...
-=-=-=-=-
I baked and cooked a LOT with both boys (still do!). We read. We
watched movies. Bounced on the trampoline. Swam---pretty much all
summer. Both boys liked to draw and cut paper. Board games. Danced in
the kitchen. We travelled a lot---to visit friends, mostly. Had friends
over. We still do ALL that, and they are 20 and almost 12. <g> But
Duncan now likes Bionicles and video games, and Cameron likes hiking
and drumming. But our lives haven't changes much: we still do pretty
much the same thing! <g>
Relax and enjoy your time together. There's plenty of time for classes
and such!
OH! ANd tell the grandparents that family zoo and museum memberships
make GREAT gifts! Classes too, when the kids are ready.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
More new features than ever. Check out the new AOL Mail ! -
http://webmail.aol.com
trektheory
--- In [email protected], "Agnieszka"
<mama_agnieszka@...> wrote:
of the things my ds has learned from other kids, and from attending
school.
School -- learned not to focus
Kids -- well, all sorts of "vocabulary"
-- what it's like to be picked on
-- that the majority group doesn't like bright, sweet kids
-- that it's okay for girls to pick on boys
There are probably other things he learned from the other kids, but
can't think of them off hand. (My son is 16, though -- some of those
lessons were so many years ago, the details escape me.)
So, ask SPECIFIC details of what your relative thinks your kids need
to learn from others, or ask, "Do you mean curse words? Bullying?"
She might not realize that those are huge lessons learned in schools.
And if she says, "Well, no dear, but how to get along with others..."
You already mentioned you have playgroups, so that should cover it!
Linda
<mama_agnieszka@...> wrote:
>So, I said it, and I told her that I'm
> thinking of homeschooling (I don't know when I'll come out of theWell, you could tell her that that is your FEAR. I can tell you some
> closet as an unschooler... it's a bit scary at this point). And her
> number one thing again was "learning from other kids".
of the things my ds has learned from other kids, and from attending
school.
School -- learned not to focus
Kids -- well, all sorts of "vocabulary"
-- what it's like to be picked on
-- that the majority group doesn't like bright, sweet kids
-- that it's okay for girls to pick on boys
There are probably other things he learned from the other kids, but
can't think of them off hand. (My son is 16, though -- some of those
lessons were so many years ago, the details escape me.)
So, ask SPECIFIC details of what your relative thinks your kids need
to learn from others, or ask, "Do you mean curse words? Bullying?"
She might not realize that those are huge lessons learned in schools.
And if she says, "Well, no dear, but how to get along with others..."
You already mentioned you have playgroups, so that should cover it!
Linda
rebecca de
I'm thinking that those who have no clue about homeschooling/unschooling will always come up for another reason for you to have your child in ps. Lately, when I've mentioned that I'm homeschooling I haven't recieved too much flack from people.. (except mom and sister and they have just shut up for now in order not to fight i'm thinking). I think it may be might matter of fact attitude. I'm proud of my choice and frankly, I really don't feel like giving any explanation anymore to people.
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