Maisha Khalfani

It's been a while since I've written here. And I'm not going to write
out the whole year and change here, but just know that I want to get
back into the mindset of unschooling/consensual living. Our family
has gone completely wacky; we've been threatening, bullying,
instituting chores for goodness sakes! We were really on the path
quite nicely about a year and a half ago – and now I feel lost. We
are definitely starting from scratch, except now the two oldest have
almost two years of "regular living" engrained in them. They are 9
and 8 yrs old right now, and they are both in ps. I plan to change
that by the end of the year. They would prefer it was sooner, but we
have to make sure that everything is secure first.



So….I'm back to being a complete newbie again! My patience is short,
I've gotten myself into the habit of sending them to their rooms, etc,
etc. Help me guys! Save me from this madness!!!!



Be at peace,

Maisha

swissarmy_wife

I hear you! After I went to the waterpark gathering we returned home
and I suddenly realized how I have been behaving! Just awful! I'm
pregnant and I KNOW that it has something to do with it. i just
didn't know how hard it was going to be this time around!

What I really wanted to address, was your children's desire to leave
school sooner than yours. I was wondering what security you were
waiting for? If its the legal stuff and the paperwork than I can
somewhat understand. (Although I don't have to worry about that
myself, so I don't quite understand it well) If it isn't legal stuff,
than what security are you waiting for? Is it worth prolonging their
suffering in the public school system? I wonder if you should
consider just letting them come home. In my eyes, the sooner the
better. They will most likely be deschooling for quite some time
anyway. There is not a lot of preparation there. It's a process for
all of you.

My two cents.

--- In [email protected], "Maisha Khalfani"
<maitai373@...> wrote:
>
> It's been a while since I've written here. And I'm not going to write
> out the whole year and change here, but just know that I want to get
> back into the mindset of unschooling/consensual living. Our family
> has gone completely wacky; we've been threatening, bullying,
> instituting chores for goodness sakes! We were really on the path
> quite nicely about a year and a half ago – and now I feel lost. We
> are definitely starting from scratch, except now the two oldest have
> almost two years of "regular living" engrained in them. They are 9
> and 8 yrs old right now, and they are both in ps. I plan to change
> that by the end of the year. They would prefer it was sooner, but we
> have to make sure that everything is secure first.
>
>
>
> So….I'm back to being a complete newbie again! My patience is short,
> I've gotten myself into the habit of sending them to their rooms, etc,
> etc. Help me guys! Save me from this madness!!!!
>
>
>
> Be at peace,
>
> Maisha
>

[email protected]

In a message dated 1/27/2008 12:04:51 P.M. Pacific Standard Time,
maitai373@... writes:

they are both in ps. I plan to change
that by the end of the year. They would prefer it was sooner, but we
have to make sure that everything is secure first.



_________________________

why wait? it's a long time from now. and what is it that needs to be
"secure" if I may ask?

Karen



**************Start the year off right. Easy ways to stay in shape.
http://body.aol.com/fitness/winter-exercise?NCID=aolcmp00300000002489


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Maisha Khalfani

The question of security:



I've been a member of this list for some time but I've been lurking.



I was a sahm, happily unschooling, until we became homeless in 2006. I got
a job where I could bring the children (working at my UU church) but then
the position got cut. We are in a program that requires both adults to work
- so I had to go and find some full time work. This meant Safiya (9) and
Dakari (8) had to go to school. I'm working on becoming a personal trainer
so that I can still be "working" but create my own schedule. That, however,
won't be final until the late spring. Then we can make the transition.



I'm no newbie to the whole unschooling thing, but I'm "new again" because
the past year and a half has been so rocky that we've fallen away from the
unschooling philosophy. And with dh that's not a good thing at all - he was
never into it to begin with.



Be at peace,

Maisha

_____



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

swissarmy_wife

When I replied to you I had a funny feeling that the "security issue"
was beyond anything I had in mind. Guess i should go with my gut.

Remember: Spring isn't that far away! Good luck to you!

--- In [email protected], "Maisha Khalfani"
<maitai373@...> wrote:
>
> The question of security:
>
>
>
> I've been a member of this list for some time but I've been lurking.
>
>
>
> I was a sahm, happily unschooling, until we became homeless in 2006.
I got
> a job where I could bring the children (working at my UU church) but
then
> the position got cut. We are in a program that requires both adults
to work
> - so I had to go and find some full time work. This meant Safiya
(9) and
> Dakari (8) had to go to school. I'm working on becoming a personal
trainer
> so that I can still be "working" but create my own schedule. That,
however,
> won't be final until the late spring. Then we can make the transition.
>
>
>
> I'm no newbie to the whole unschooling thing, but I'm "new again"
because
> the past year and a half has been so rocky that we've fallen away
from the
> unschooling philosophy. And with dh that's not a good thing at all
- he was
> never into it to begin with.
>
>
>
> Be at peace,
>
> Maisha
>
> _____
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

rebecca de

swissarmy_wife <heatherbean@...> wrote: Maisha said:... So….I'm back to being a complete newbie again! My patience is short,
> I've gotten myself into the habit of sending them to their rooms, etc,
> etc. Help me guys! Save me from this madness!!!!

Becca says: This group and any other group geared to cs/unschooling/peace is a great place to be.... I was introduced to unschooling a couple of years ago from a friend that does (and I must say has a great relationship with her 14 year old). Anyway, I stayed plugged into to ps system (pre-school and 1/2 year of kindergarten) for a while. This January 10th (I think) I took the full plunge into unschooling!! And I will say that it is challenging to stop alllllll the bad habits -- sending to room, spanking (eeek), yelling... etc. But I truly think making the commitment and sticking to it is worth it. That last few weeks I've been on reading, posting and sucking all the info I can about deschooling and unschooling. Maybe sometimes too much since it has taken away from paying closer attention to my boys -- but I have needed the extra knowledge and support to know that everything is going to be just fine. About the third week into it now I feel that I can do
this and fears are diminishing (and my mother is even easing up-- she was very negative when I first took Ian out>> oh well her problem) . Anyway, just thought I let you know that I can relate to you and many more on this list also. Sometimes statements from some will feel very direct but I personally feel we need this to get us over the hump --- Most of these folks have been right where we are standing.
Also keep visualizing the peaceful home and it will be so.....
>






---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

rebecca de

Maisha, Blessed be!! It's going to all happen!! All of you are where you should be!! Your children will be just fine!!





---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Pamela Sorooshian

Hi Maisha ---

Welcome back!!

I remember all the stuff you were going through - glad to hear that
things might be more secure for you all.

My suggestion is that you start with saying yes more often.
Really - just that.

You have lots of reasons to have your patience worn down, so take care
of yourself, forgive yourself, and remember that you can heal yourself
by being gentle and sweet with your kids!

--pam


On Jan 27, 2008, at 12:04 PM, Maisha Khalfani wrote:

> It's been a while since I've written here. And I'm not going to write
> out the whole year and change here, but just know that I want to get
> back into the mindset of unschooling/consensual living. Our family
> has gone completely wacky; we've been threatening, bullying,
> instituting chores for goodness sakes! We were really on the path
> quite nicely about a year and a half ago � and now I feel lost. We
> are definitely starting from scratch, except now the two oldest have
> almost two years of "regular living" engrained in them. They are 9
> and 8 yrs old right now, and they are both in ps. I plan to change
> that by the end of the year. They would prefer it was sooner, but we
> have to make sure that everything is secure first.
>
> So�.I'm back to being a complete newbie again! My patience is short,
> I've gotten myself into the habit of sending them to their rooms, etc,
> etc. Help me guys! Save me from this madness!!!!
>
> Be at peace,
>
> Maisha
>
>
>



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Maisha Khalfani

<<You have lots of reasons to have your patience worn down, so take care
of yourself, forgive yourself, and remember that you can heal yourself
by being gentle and sweet with your kids!

--pam>>


Thanks Pam! I think, like any mother who loves their children, there is
lots of guilt and coulda shoulda woulda.

I will definitely take the time to be gentle with myself.

Be at peace,
Maisha
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/