What if the worst happens.. . was:Advice or Comments Please
Nance Confer
What if the worst happens to any of us?
I just don't think we can live that way. Not happily.
Not that thoughts like these don't cross every parent's mind at one time or another, but changing something fundamentally good in your children's lives now to avoid a problem that may never come up later . . . no, not the way to think about it, imo.
I'm sure other posters will point out how much your kids ARE learning and that they might struggle with the adjustment period but would do fine in school.
My thought is that they would have much bigger fish to fry than whether or not they do well in school if their Mother has just died!
But they will do much better if you live well now and get as much enjoyment out of whatever time you have together as you possibly can instead of wrecking all that to cover some imagined base.
Nance
Advice or Comments Please
Posted by: "lschroeder106z" lschroeder106z@... lschroeder106z
Wed Jan 16, 2008 3:21 pm (PST)
As a cancer survivor and primary homeschooling parent a question
arrised when I consider Unschooling. In the event of an untimely
death of myself, my husband would probably put the children in school,
how would I prepare them for school grade levels when unschooling. I
have been cancer free for 20 years now, but this crazy thought enters
my head when I begin to think of homeschooling. We have used a few
cirriculums over the last 8 years, mostly Abeka, but I can see that
some of what I am asking of them is not allowing their own personal
inner selves to truly shine. Thanks for all comments on this subject.
Linda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I just don't think we can live that way. Not happily.
Not that thoughts like these don't cross every parent's mind at one time or another, but changing something fundamentally good in your children's lives now to avoid a problem that may never come up later . . . no, not the way to think about it, imo.
I'm sure other posters will point out how much your kids ARE learning and that they might struggle with the adjustment period but would do fine in school.
My thought is that they would have much bigger fish to fry than whether or not they do well in school if their Mother has just died!
But they will do much better if you live well now and get as much enjoyment out of whatever time you have together as you possibly can instead of wrecking all that to cover some imagined base.
Nance
Advice or Comments Please
Posted by: "lschroeder106z" lschroeder106z@... lschroeder106z
Wed Jan 16, 2008 3:21 pm (PST)
As a cancer survivor and primary homeschooling parent a question
arrised when I consider Unschooling. In the event of an untimely
death of myself, my husband would probably put the children in school,
how would I prepare them for school grade levels when unschooling. I
have been cancer free for 20 years now, but this crazy thought enters
my head when I begin to think of homeschooling. We have used a few
cirriculums over the last 8 years, mostly Abeka, but I can see that
some of what I am asking of them is not allowing their own personal
inner selves to truly shine. Thanks for all comments on this subject.
Linda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Christina M
Nance,
I would like to say that I agree with you 100% on your post.
On another note:
I am a single mother of two daughers. By the first of the month we will be moving to town at which I will most likely be homeschooling them. I have joined a few groups for homeschooling in hopes to expand my knowledge of the subject. I have learned many things, and still have much to learn. However I do have some questions.
First, I love the idea of Unschooling, however I wonder how do you manage unschooling yet make sure they are keeping up with their grade level. Maybe it depends on the state, but Im in South Dakota. Our law states that for homeschoolers, they must Administer a standardized test to children in grades 2, 4, 8, and 11. Results must show satisfactory progress. Currently my daughters are in 5th and 6th grade. If I decide to unschool, how exactly do I make sure I keep them with in range of their grade level? "If subsequent achievement test results reveal less than satisfactory academic progress in the child�s level of achievement, the school board may refuse to renew the child�s certificate of excuse." South Dakota Codified Laws � 13-27-7.
I do not know if any of you have come acrossed these laws, eitherway, figured someone may have some advice. Thank you in advance!
Christina
----- Original Message ----
From: Nance Confer <marbleface@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, January 17, 2008 10:09:45 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] What if the worst happens.. . was:Advice or Comments Please
What if the worst happens to any of us?
I just don't think we can live that way. Not happily.
Not that thoughts like these don't cross every parent's mind at one time or another, but changing something fundamentally good in your children's lives now to avoid a problem that may never come up later . . . no, not the way to think about it, imo.
I'm sure other posters will point out how much your kids ARE learning and that they might struggle with the adjustment period but would do fine in school.
My thought is that they would have much bigger fish to fry than whether or not they do well in school if their Mother has just died!
But they will do much better if you live well now and get as much enjoyment out of whatever time you have together as you possibly can instead of wrecking all that to cover some imagined base.
Nance
Advice or Comments Please
Posted by: "lschroeder106z" lschroeder106z@ msn.com lschroeder106z
Wed Jan 16, 2008 3:21 pm (PST)
As a cancer survivor and primary homeschooling parent a question
arrised when I consider Unschooling. In the event of an untimely
death of myself, my husband would probably put the children in school,
how would I prepare them for school grade levels when unschooling. I
have been cancer free for 20 years now, but this crazy thought enters
my head when I begin to think of homeschooling. We have used a few
cirriculums over the last 8 years, mostly Abeka, but I can see that
some of what I am asking of them is not allowing their own personal
inner selves to truly shine. Thanks for all comments on this subject..
Linda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
____________________________________________________________________________________
Looking for last minute shopping deals?
Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php?category=shopping
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I would like to say that I agree with you 100% on your post.
On another note:
I am a single mother of two daughers. By the first of the month we will be moving to town at which I will most likely be homeschooling them. I have joined a few groups for homeschooling in hopes to expand my knowledge of the subject. I have learned many things, and still have much to learn. However I do have some questions.
First, I love the idea of Unschooling, however I wonder how do you manage unschooling yet make sure they are keeping up with their grade level. Maybe it depends on the state, but Im in South Dakota. Our law states that for homeschoolers, they must Administer a standardized test to children in grades 2, 4, 8, and 11. Results must show satisfactory progress. Currently my daughters are in 5th and 6th grade. If I decide to unschool, how exactly do I make sure I keep them with in range of their grade level? "If subsequent achievement test results reveal less than satisfactory academic progress in the child�s level of achievement, the school board may refuse to renew the child�s certificate of excuse." South Dakota Codified Laws � 13-27-7.
I do not know if any of you have come acrossed these laws, eitherway, figured someone may have some advice. Thank you in advance!
Christina
----- Original Message ----
From: Nance Confer <marbleface@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Thursday, January 17, 2008 10:09:45 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] What if the worst happens.. . was:Advice or Comments Please
What if the worst happens to any of us?
I just don't think we can live that way. Not happily.
Not that thoughts like these don't cross every parent's mind at one time or another, but changing something fundamentally good in your children's lives now to avoid a problem that may never come up later . . . no, not the way to think about it, imo.
I'm sure other posters will point out how much your kids ARE learning and that they might struggle with the adjustment period but would do fine in school.
My thought is that they would have much bigger fish to fry than whether or not they do well in school if their Mother has just died!
But they will do much better if you live well now and get as much enjoyment out of whatever time you have together as you possibly can instead of wrecking all that to cover some imagined base.
Nance
Advice or Comments Please
Posted by: "lschroeder106z" lschroeder106z@ msn.com lschroeder106z
Wed Jan 16, 2008 3:21 pm (PST)
As a cancer survivor and primary homeschooling parent a question
arrised when I consider Unschooling. In the event of an untimely
death of myself, my husband would probably put the children in school,
how would I prepare them for school grade levels when unschooling. I
have been cancer free for 20 years now, but this crazy thought enters
my head when I begin to think of homeschooling. We have used a few
cirriculums over the last 8 years, mostly Abeka, but I can see that
some of what I am asking of them is not allowing their own personal
inner selves to truly shine. Thanks for all comments on this subject..
Linda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
____________________________________________________________________________________
Looking for last minute shopping deals?
Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php?category=shopping
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
ENSEMBLE S-WAYNFORTH
If the worst happens, I would much rather that my children remember me as the person who they had a brilliant time with, the person who helped them to do the things they wanted to do, to be the people they wanted to be. The idea of them remembering me as the taskmaster, the teacher and not as the nurturer, the mother, that would haunt me far more than the idea of them having to go to school and play a little catch up. Although in my situation David would have to die to, he wouldn't send them to school. I think he would hold them so close to keep himself from flying apart. I know it is what I would do if he died.
Can you get life insurance that would help your husband to stay home with the kids for a while if you did die? If it is your own mortality that is keeping you from unschooling, you should try and address those fears. I don't think that Simon and Linnaea would do so badly in school academically. I think they would have a hard time dealing with the bullying and the structure much more than they would struggle with the academics. I don't know that they are academically gifted, but thinking is something they both do well, sitting down at someone else's behest, not so good.
Schuyler
www.waynforth.blogspot.com
==========
As a cancer survivor and primary homeschooling parent a question
arrised when I consider Unschooling. In the event of an untimely
death of myself, my husband would probably put the children in school,
how would I prepare them for school grade levels when unschooling. I
have been cancer free for 20 years now, but this crazy thought enters
my head when I begin to think of homeschooling. We have used a few
cirriculums over the last 8 years, mostly Abeka, but I can see that
some of what I am asking of them is not allowing their own personal
inner selves to truly shine. Thanks for all comments on this subject.
Linda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Yahoo! Groups Links
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Can you get life insurance that would help your husband to stay home with the kids for a while if you did die? If it is your own mortality that is keeping you from unschooling, you should try and address those fears. I don't think that Simon and Linnaea would do so badly in school academically. I think they would have a hard time dealing with the bullying and the structure much more than they would struggle with the academics. I don't know that they are academically gifted, but thinking is something they both do well, sitting down at someone else's behest, not so good.
Schuyler
www.waynforth.blogspot.com
==========
As a cancer survivor and primary homeschooling parent a question
arrised when I consider Unschooling. In the event of an untimely
death of myself, my husband would probably put the children in school,
how would I prepare them for school grade levels when unschooling. I
have been cancer free for 20 years now, but this crazy thought enters
my head when I begin to think of homeschooling. We have used a few
cirriculums over the last 8 years, mostly Abeka, but I can see that
some of what I am asking of them is not allowing their own personal
inner selves to truly shine. Thanks for all comments on this subject.
Linda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Yahoo! Groups Links
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
diana jenner
> Posted by: "lschroeder106z" lschroeder106z@ msn.com lschroeder106zI know that when my children's father died, I realized the *very best* gift
> Wed Jan 16, 2008 3:21 pm (PST)
> As a cancer survivor and primary homeschooling parent a question
> arrised when I consider Unschooling. In the event of an untimely
> death of myself, my husband would probably put the children in school,
> how would I prepare them for school grade levels when unschooling. I
> have been cancer free for 20 years now, but this crazy thought enters
> my head when I begin to think of homeschooling. We have used a few
> cirriculums over the last 8 years, mostly Abeka, but I can see that
> some of what I am asking of them is not allowing their own personal
> inner selves to truly shine. Thanks for all comments on this subject..
>
we'd bestowed upon us all was the amount of TIME and JOY we'd had
together....
No one regrets times of immense happiness <3
--
~diana :)
xoxoxoxo
hannahbearski.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
diana jenner
On Jan 17, 2008 10:06 AM, Christina M <aaminah07@...> wrote:
connections for you to meet some unschoolers IRL :D There are no unschoolers
I know of East River with kids your age, though there are a few families
West River. [you're welcome to contact me off list, as this is a bit too
specific for an international list ::bg::]
We had no issues with the testing.(and all of this only applies if you are
registering with the school district) The requirement is to *show
improvement* in Math and English (ONLY 2 parts of the tests are required by
law) - the first test is baseline only - the tests are administered at home
without oversight and returned to your local district. Your kids won't have
to test for the next two years AND that first test is a baseline, there are
no possible "consequences" until 3 years AFTER THAT!! By then, your girls
could already be enrolled in junior college &/or off living their own
lives...
Personally, I'd never ever trade fun/joy/relationship in the NOW over fear
of something *minutely* possible in the too dimly lit future.
--
~diana :)
xoxoxoxo
hannahbearski.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> I am a single mother of two daughers. By the first of the month we will beI just moved *from* SD to Oregon :) Which city are you moving to? I may have
> moving to town at which I will most likely be homeschooling them. I have
> joined a few groups for homeschooling in hopes to expand my knowledge of the
> subject. I have learned many things, and still have much to learn. However I
> do have some questions.
> First, I love the idea of Unschooling, however I wonder how do you manage
> unschooling yet make sure they are keeping up with their grade level. Maybe
> it depends on the state, but Im in South Dakota. Our law states that for
> homeschoolers, they must Administer a standardized test to children in
> grades 2, 4, 8, and 11. Results must show satisfactory progress. Currently
> my daughters are in 5th and 6th grade. If I decide to unschool, how exactly
> do I make sure I keep them with in range of their grade level? "If
> subsequent achievement test results reveal less than satisfactory academic
> progress in the child¢s level of achievement, the school board may refuse to
> renew the child¢s certificate of excuse." South Dakota Codified Laws §
> 13-27-7.
> I do not know if any of you have come acrossed these laws, eitherway,
> figured someone may have some advice. Thank you in advance!
>
connections for you to meet some unschoolers IRL :D There are no unschoolers
I know of East River with kids your age, though there are a few families
West River. [you're welcome to contact me off list, as this is a bit too
specific for an international list ::bg::]
We had no issues with the testing.(and all of this only applies if you are
registering with the school district) The requirement is to *show
improvement* in Math and English (ONLY 2 parts of the tests are required by
law) - the first test is baseline only - the tests are administered at home
without oversight and returned to your local district. Your kids won't have
to test for the next two years AND that first test is a baseline, there are
no possible "consequences" until 3 years AFTER THAT!! By then, your girls
could already be enrolled in junior college &/or off living their own
lives...
Personally, I'd never ever trade fun/joy/relationship in the NOW over fear
of something *minutely* possible in the too dimly lit future.
--
~diana :)
xoxoxoxo
hannahbearski.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ren Allen
~~In the event of an untimely
today for all I know. We're all terminal.
I live for right now. I live for the connections we will make as a
family today. I live for the joy of learning and growing and
experiencing our journeys together. I live for the love of seeing joy
on my children's faces....and sorrow and excitement and puzzlement and
all the other things that make up what a family is about.
We live to love and learn. Isn't that what humans do? Death would
change the structure of what I know today. It would be up to the
living to make those choices and changes if I were gone. I don't
believe for a second that there is any such thing as "grade level" so
why would I try to keep my children at some mythical level that
doesn't actually exist?
If I'm gone and they were in school, they will adapt or they won't.
I'm not going to live my today's on some imagined future. I'm not
going to hold my children to some standard that is false and
presumptuous and has nothing to do with learning.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
> death of myself, my husband would probably put the children in school,I've never had cancer that I know of.;) But I could die in a car wreck
> how would I prepare them for school grade levels when unschooling. ~~
today for all I know. We're all terminal.
I live for right now. I live for the connections we will make as a
family today. I live for the joy of learning and growing and
experiencing our journeys together. I live for the love of seeing joy
on my children's faces....and sorrow and excitement and puzzlement and
all the other things that make up what a family is about.
We live to love and learn. Isn't that what humans do? Death would
change the structure of what I know today. It would be up to the
living to make those choices and changes if I were gone. I don't
believe for a second that there is any such thing as "grade level" so
why would I try to keep my children at some mythical level that
doesn't actually exist?
If I'm gone and they were in school, they will adapt or they won't.
I'm not going to live my today's on some imagined future. I'm not
going to hold my children to some standard that is false and
presumptuous and has nothing to do with learning.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Michelle Thedaker
Linda,
I agree with what others here have said. Making your choices based on fear
is, in my opinion, never the way to go. I find that joy based decisions
always point me in the best direction! If I'm making a choice based on my
fear of something, I'm starting to really stop and think carefully about
what I'm doing, and what the joy based choice would be. I always go with
that one!
I'd also like to share with you something that I talk about often with other
homeschoolers in my local group who are concerned about grade level
expectations and performance. I grew up moving around the country every few
years, constantly changing schools (not a military brat, an amusement park
brat!). Every single school had a different curriculum and standards than
the previous one. I was always either sitting around bored for 6 months
because I'd already learned everything we were doing, or doing extra
homework, getting up to speed with where the class was. It was never a big
deal either way, honestly. In fact, in all my years of changing schools,
the academic parts don't stand out much in my memory. It was the challenge
of creating new friendships, figuring out the new social order, the new
slang terms (Texas was fun, figuring out what "fixin'" meant as a verb!). I
always did just fine academically.
Hope that helps to ease your anxiety just a bit. :-)
Shell
_____
Posted by: "lschroeder106z" lschroeder106z@
<mailto:lschroeder106z%40msn.com> msn.com lschroeder106z
Wed Jan 16, 2008 3:21 pm (PST)
As a cancer survivor and primary homeschooling parent a question
arrised when I consider Unschooling. In the event of an untimely
death of myself, my husband would probably put the children in school,
how would I prepare them for school grade levels when unschooling. I
have been cancer free for 20 years now, but this crazy thought enters
my head when I begin to think of homeschooling. We have used a few
cirriculums over the last 8 years, mostly Abeka, but I can see that
some of what I am asking of them is not allowing their own personal
inner selves to truly shine. Thanks for all comments on this subject.
Linda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I agree with what others here have said. Making your choices based on fear
is, in my opinion, never the way to go. I find that joy based decisions
always point me in the best direction! If I'm making a choice based on my
fear of something, I'm starting to really stop and think carefully about
what I'm doing, and what the joy based choice would be. I always go with
that one!
I'd also like to share with you something that I talk about often with other
homeschoolers in my local group who are concerned about grade level
expectations and performance. I grew up moving around the country every few
years, constantly changing schools (not a military brat, an amusement park
brat!). Every single school had a different curriculum and standards than
the previous one. I was always either sitting around bored for 6 months
because I'd already learned everything we were doing, or doing extra
homework, getting up to speed with where the class was. It was never a big
deal either way, honestly. In fact, in all my years of changing schools,
the academic parts don't stand out much in my memory. It was the challenge
of creating new friendships, figuring out the new social order, the new
slang terms (Texas was fun, figuring out what "fixin'" meant as a verb!). I
always did just fine academically.
Hope that helps to ease your anxiety just a bit. :-)
Shell
_____
Posted by: "lschroeder106z" lschroeder106z@
<mailto:lschroeder106z%40msn.com> msn.com lschroeder106z
Wed Jan 16, 2008 3:21 pm (PST)
As a cancer survivor and primary homeschooling parent a question
arrised when I consider Unschooling. In the event of an untimely
death of myself, my husband would probably put the children in school,
how would I prepare them for school grade levels when unschooling. I
have been cancer free for 20 years now, but this crazy thought enters
my head when I begin to think of homeschooling. We have used a few
cirriculums over the last 8 years, mostly Abeka, but I can see that
some of what I am asking of them is not allowing their own personal
inner selves to truly shine. Thanks for all comments on this subject.
Linda
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Vickisue Gray
Shell you make such a wonderful point. Thanks for sharing your
experiences. Doesn't it seem more about adapting sometimes?
Just today, I watched as my son played with Google Earth.
He looked up Area 51, Baghdad, Jamestown, Germany and a bunch
of silly things that had him giggling up a storm. He learned tons
about the world we live in yet would probably never fit the standard
idea of a Geography class.
The real difference is he enjoyed what he discovered opposed to
having someones ideas forced upon him. He also left his self
directed learning very happy and most likely he'll come back for more!
All these conversations got me thinking about the math issue, too.
We live on a small farm so calculating fencing, depth of wells, birth
of livestock happen all the time. Also, calculations of flight, payload,
lift, acceleration are common around this place as my spouse and his
friends are big into flight and engineering. Currently, both my 17dd and
spouse are working on their pilots license.
That kind of math makes sense in this house as it's always being applied.
Before I married my spouse, I had no use for it. Learned it, got the grade,
then flushed it as useless information. Relearned it when it applied.
I couldn't say my son would pass any school's idea of a grade level test
as he hasn't reviewed the material they would be testing on. Isn't that all
testing really is? Regurgitating what was fed? I certainly wouldn't say he
hasn't been learning as he learns by leaps and bounds. Just not within
the confined limitations set by a curriculum.
The more we explore unschooling, the more we come to live happily doing it.
Vicki
____________________________________________________________________________________
Looking for last minute shopping deals?
Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php?category=shopping
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
experiences. Doesn't it seem more about adapting sometimes?
Just today, I watched as my son played with Google Earth.
He looked up Area 51, Baghdad, Jamestown, Germany and a bunch
of silly things that had him giggling up a storm. He learned tons
about the world we live in yet would probably never fit the standard
idea of a Geography class.
The real difference is he enjoyed what he discovered opposed to
having someones ideas forced upon him. He also left his self
directed learning very happy and most likely he'll come back for more!
All these conversations got me thinking about the math issue, too.
We live on a small farm so calculating fencing, depth of wells, birth
of livestock happen all the time. Also, calculations of flight, payload,
lift, acceleration are common around this place as my spouse and his
friends are big into flight and engineering. Currently, both my 17dd and
spouse are working on their pilots license.
That kind of math makes sense in this house as it's always being applied.
Before I married my spouse, I had no use for it. Learned it, got the grade,
then flushed it as useless information. Relearned it when it applied.
I couldn't say my son would pass any school's idea of a grade level test
as he hasn't reviewed the material they would be testing on. Isn't that all
testing really is? Regurgitating what was fed? I certainly wouldn't say he
hasn't been learning as he learns by leaps and bounds. Just not within
the confined limitations set by a curriculum.
The more we explore unschooling, the more we come to live happily doing it.
Vicki
____________________________________________________________________________________
Looking for last minute shopping deals?
Find them fast with Yahoo! Search. http://tools.search.yahoo.com/newsearch/category.php?category=shopping
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Vickisue Gray
The life insurance idea is beautiful! That's what my FIl did for his
son should it come to that (which it did) and that's what my spouse
has done for us. Should the worst happen, the bills are paid and we
need to do is stay together and care for each other.
V
____________________________________________________________________________________
Be a better friend, newshound, and
know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
son should it come to that (which it did) and that's what my spouse
has done for us. Should the worst happen, the bills are paid and we
need to do is stay together and care for each other.
V
____________________________________________________________________________________
Be a better friend, newshound, and
know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]