Don't explain
Joyce Fetteroll
This topic comes up quite frequently and Scott Noelle did a good job
of explaining the difference between sharing what we do and
justifying it in todays message.
If you don't get his daily newsletter, you should! Always nicely
short and to the point.
Joyce
THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove
:: Don't Explain ::
Being on the leading edge of parenting, you may
find yourself explaining to others *why* you parent
the way you do.
This can be a good thing when someone has
expressed curiosity about it and you're simply
sharing information. But it's better *not* to explain
yourself if you're trying to *justify* your choices.
Justifying gives away your power. It implies that
you need the other person's approval. It undermines
your self-confidence and distances you from your
Inner Guidance.
The "need" to explain and justify your choices is
based on the "need" to be right. But if your parenting
choices are "right," and the other person would parent
differently, then s/he must be "wrong." Once you get
in that right/wrong mode, conflict or interpersonal
tension is inevitable.
Instead of explaining your parenting to others,
silently remind *yourself* that your choices are right
*for you*, and your own approval is all you need.
http://dailygroove.net/dont-explain
Feel free to forward this message to your friends!
(Please include this paragraph and everything above.)
Copyright (c) 2007 by Scott Noelle
of explaining the difference between sharing what we do and
justifying it in todays message.
If you don't get his daily newsletter, you should! Always nicely
short and to the point.
Joyce
THE DAILY GROOVE ~ by Scott Noelle
www.enjoyparenting.com/dailygroove
:: Don't Explain ::
Being on the leading edge of parenting, you may
find yourself explaining to others *why* you parent
the way you do.
This can be a good thing when someone has
expressed curiosity about it and you're simply
sharing information. But it's better *not* to explain
yourself if you're trying to *justify* your choices.
Justifying gives away your power. It implies that
you need the other person's approval. It undermines
your self-confidence and distances you from your
Inner Guidance.
The "need" to explain and justify your choices is
based on the "need" to be right. But if your parenting
choices are "right," and the other person would parent
differently, then s/he must be "wrong." Once you get
in that right/wrong mode, conflict or interpersonal
tension is inevitable.
Instead of explaining your parenting to others,
silently remind *yourself* that your choices are right
*for you*, and your own approval is all you need.
http://dailygroove.net/dont-explain
Feel free to forward this message to your friends!
(Please include this paragraph and everything above.)
Copyright (c) 2007 by Scott Noelle
[email protected]
Joyce, I just read it before I opened your email and YES - I do that. I
justify, explain. Or feel I need to, especially to the older kid's dad and even to
Juan, my current (lol) husband. It's when, I've since learned by listening to
myself, that it's ME that needs that reassurance that this is right for us. MY
trust is on edge or has been challenged. Pressure, too, adds to that for me.
I was glad to read that.
Karen
**************************************
See AOL's top rated recipes
(http://food.aol.com/top-rated-recipes?NCID=aoltop00030000000004)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
justify, explain. Or feel I need to, especially to the older kid's dad and even to
Juan, my current (lol) husband. It's when, I've since learned by listening to
myself, that it's ME that needs that reassurance that this is right for us. MY
trust is on edge or has been challenged. Pressure, too, adds to that for me.
I was glad to read that.
Karen
**************************************
See AOL's top rated recipes
(http://food.aol.com/top-rated-recipes?NCID=aoltop00030000000004)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]