AromaRonna

Any suggestions on how to share with another parent or not say anything when she praises
my daughter? A little too much with the "good job." What is a diplomatic way to share that
we aren't into praising as I have been recently learning the detriments of it, without sounding
like I am judging her parenting style with her daughter(which I can clearly see that this child
is stressed from trying to please her mommy all of the time.) With this said, this is a
friendship that I would like to keep. My daughter and her daughter really have a connection
as well as the mother and I. I am hoping that my daughter will continue to seem not to put
too much attention to it, but what if she is? I know that I can't change the way she parents
her child but I do have a say in my child's well being. Thanks for any feedback.
Ronna

carenkh

I've been surprised at the ability of my boys to attribute stuff other
parents do to "just the way they are" - they don't take it personally
at all. They have a well of connection with me, and with that, they
don't need to take in what others say as deeply. Does that make sense?
I don't need to protect them; they have a strong sense of Who They
Are. I really don't think I'd worry about it.

peace,
Caren

wisdomalways5

at our house when some one says good job someone will add on "puppy
puppy" which then we laugh- because you should tell animals this-
other people think you are cray till you tell them and explain why
you do not say good job for every little thing


--- In [email protected], "AromaRonna"
<aromaronna@...> wrote:
>
> Any suggestions on how to share with another parent or not say
anything when she praises
> my daughter? A little too much with the "good job." What is a
diplomatic way to share that
> we aren't into praising as I have been recently learning the
detriments of it, without sounding
> like I am judging her parenting style with her daughter(which I
can clearly see that this child
> is stressed from trying to please her mommy all of the time.)
With this said, this is a
> friendship that I would like to keep. My daughter and her
daughter really have a connection
> as well as the mother and I. I am hoping that my daughter will
continue to seem not to put
> too much attention to it, but what if she is? I know that I
can't change the way she parents
> her child but I do have a say in my child's well being. Thanks
for any feedback.
> Ronna
>

Ren Allen

~~I really don't think I'd worry about it.~~

I agree with Caren. Other people are going to do things different than
our family. It isn't my job to change how they interact with my
children (assuming it's benign behavior, and "good job" type stuff
falls in the benign category to me, rather than harmful).
If it's a friendship you value, then let it go. You might gently add
on to her praise with something specific that you liked. "Yes, I see
some red swirls there" about an art piece or whatever it is she's
praising.

Ren
learninginfreedom.com