vegnmama

I just wanted to tell someone about our evening at my mom's house last
night. It is actually her boyfriend's house, but they've been together
for about 4 years.
My mom was decorating for Christmas; putting lights on the tree, and
had lots of boxes of decorations out. My daughter(2)was fascinated by
so many things she saw- 2'tall moving Christmas figures, a stuffed
snowman, etc., and wanted to play with everything.
My son(11) asked my mom if he could play games on her laptop computer,
and she said ok.
My daughter was mostly staying out of the boxes, after she found the
stuffed snowman that mostly kept her busy, and she was also watching
my mom string the lights.
At some point, I went into the kitchen and heated up some food for me
& the kids. They both came in and ate, and then went back into the
living room by mom mom. I called my husband and talked for just a
little while, when I heard my mom say my name, so I said, "Yeah?"
I didn't hear anything, and it was only about 30 seconds later that my
mom came storming in with my daughter in her arms and said, "When I
call your name, I expect you to come and see what I'm trying to tell
you. I shouldn't have to say it more than once!"
She was upset because my daughter crawled under the tree as they were
lifting it up to put something under it, and I didn't immediately come
to the rescue. My son was sitting right next to the tree, using the
laptop. He would have gladly helped out & got his sister out of there,
had they asked him to.
Well, this caused such a huge upset that I just had to get out of
there! I was so mad that my mom talked to me that way, as if I was
being a bad parent and not watching my kids every moment, when there
were 3 other people in the room with my daughter!
I couldn't help but to cry(darned pregnancy hormones!)as I got our
things together. I was trying not to look at my mom so she wouldn't
see me.
After that, while I was getting our things together to leave, I heard
my mom raise her voice at my son, telling him to close the laptop, and
telling him it was time to go, because, "your mom's crying, and it's
all my fault, once again!"
He came into the kitchen by me with his head down.
This is not entirely a typical visit to my mom's.
Perhaps she was having a bad day to begin with, but she took it all
out on me & my kids.
There were other times during the visit when she'd tell me I needed to
make sure my daughter didn't get into the boxes.. or that she was
getting too close to the tree as the lights were being strung..
Sometimes it gets a bit exasperating, as if my job as a parent is made
difficult only by getting together with my mom.

There was an unschooling moment mixed in, though... earlier in the
day, my son watched a library video about volcanoes, and at my mom's
house, he told me about how certain animals behave before an
earthquake, or before a volcano erupts, and about how animals have
more senses than humans. This was hours after he watched the video,
and I was so happy that he picked up some new information.