This just feels right.....
mscloudlady
Hello All ~
My father and Step-Mother are very worried that my son is not
getting the education he needs (my step mum says she is really scared
and needs to protect him from this injustice). I see she is quite
worried - I have given her the Unschooling Handbook and tried to get
her to research it but to no avail. I received a call from a distant
cousin (we are having a family union on Dec 8 at her house) she is a
principal at an elementary school. My son (7) was three months
premature ( dyslexia and sensory issues still stay us) and I have
been guided since he was born but after a horrid first grade
experience I decided there had to be a different way and I found a
name for the truth I knew ( We are all inherent learners and if we
take away the limitations we will guide ourselves to the answers) -
Unschooling. My son has gained confidence and the desire to learn
again but only recently and still we are having a hard time letting
go of "classroom", "homework", "Teacher" but we are trying and
succeeding. Anyway I need some help for this up coming party - It is
a challenge for me to make them understand - I get stuck with "It is
the right thing for us to do - I haven't been so sure of anything
before." Well that holds very little water as it should. I am happy
that they care so much about my guys and don't want to discourage
that but how can I convince them it will be OK?
Thanks for any help, handouts and suggestions.
Elizabeth L
My father and Step-Mother are very worried that my son is not
getting the education he needs (my step mum says she is really scared
and needs to protect him from this injustice). I see she is quite
worried - I have given her the Unschooling Handbook and tried to get
her to research it but to no avail. I received a call from a distant
cousin (we are having a family union on Dec 8 at her house) she is a
principal at an elementary school. My son (7) was three months
premature ( dyslexia and sensory issues still stay us) and I have
been guided since he was born but after a horrid first grade
experience I decided there had to be a different way and I found a
name for the truth I knew ( We are all inherent learners and if we
take away the limitations we will guide ourselves to the answers) -
Unschooling. My son has gained confidence and the desire to learn
again but only recently and still we are having a hard time letting
go of "classroom", "homework", "Teacher" but we are trying and
succeeding. Anyway I need some help for this up coming party - It is
a challenge for me to make them understand - I get stuck with "It is
the right thing for us to do - I haven't been so sure of anything
before." Well that holds very little water as it should. I am happy
that they care so much about my guys and don't want to discourage
that but how can I convince them it will be OK?
Thanks for any help, handouts and suggestions.
Elizabeth L
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/30/2007 8:00:06 A.M. Pacific Standard Time,
cloudlady@... writes:
Thanks for any help, handouts and suggestions.
Elizabeth L
____________________
Elizabeth, there is a yahoo group for Grandparents of unschoolers. Would
they be willing to join? From what I saw of that group, they are really open to
family members and people that love and care.
Are they willing to do reading, more than that book? John Holt reads rather
academically, and may make a deeper impression upon your family. Also, any
chance they would go to a conference? I understand those to be The Thing for
tons of people.
I also want to say what a clearly generous and loving soul YOU are. It's
clear you care and can see how much your family loves and cares about your
child. Seeing that, instead of getting angry and defensive, is really wonderful -
and that taught me something, as I have been defensive and angry in my life
regarding unschooling. So thanks, very much, for your post.
Warmly,
Karen
**************************************Check out AOL's list of 2007's hottest
products.
(http://money.aol.com/special/hot-products-2007?NCID=aoltop00030000000001)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
cloudlady@... writes:
Thanks for any help, handouts and suggestions.
Elizabeth L
____________________
Elizabeth, there is a yahoo group for Grandparents of unschoolers. Would
they be willing to join? From what I saw of that group, they are really open to
family members and people that love and care.
Are they willing to do reading, more than that book? John Holt reads rather
academically, and may make a deeper impression upon your family. Also, any
chance they would go to a conference? I understand those to be The Thing for
tons of people.
I also want to say what a clearly generous and loving soul YOU are. It's
clear you care and can see how much your family loves and cares about your
child. Seeing that, instead of getting angry and defensive, is really wonderful -
and that taught me something, as I have been defensive and angry in my life
regarding unschooling. So thanks, very much, for your post.
Warmly,
Karen
**************************************Check out AOL's list of 2007's hottest
products.
(http://money.aol.com/special/hot-products-2007?NCID=aoltop00030000000001)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 11/30/2007 8:00:06 A.M. Pacific Standard Time,
cloudlady@... writes:
My son (7) was three months
premature ( dyslexia and sensory issues still stay us) and I have
been guided since he was born
______________
PS: We have SPD issues here too, I meant to add. Not an early baby, but the
SPD I can relate to! I just joined a group called Sensoryhomeschool (a yahoo
one, also) and I'm loving it. This group and that group REALLY are getting me
where I feel I want to be. Let me know if you'd like to join, I can send you
the link if you can't find it yourself. There are a few unschoolers there,
mainly eclectic (and that's due to some kids having some more severe SPD and
Autism issues), but very warm and full of ideas and fun and help.
Anyway - that's all for now! :)
Karen
**************************************Check out AOL's list of 2007's hottest
products.
(http://money.aol.com/special/hot-products-2007?NCID=aoltop00030000000001)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
cloudlady@... writes:
My son (7) was three months
premature ( dyslexia and sensory issues still stay us) and I have
been guided since he was born
______________
PS: We have SPD issues here too, I meant to add. Not an early baby, but the
SPD I can relate to! I just joined a group called Sensoryhomeschool (a yahoo
one, also) and I'm loving it. This group and that group REALLY are getting me
where I feel I want to be. Let me know if you'd like to join, I can send you
the link if you can't find it yourself. There are a few unschoolers there,
mainly eclectic (and that's due to some kids having some more severe SPD and
Autism issues), but very warm and full of ideas and fun and help.
Anyway - that's all for now! :)
Karen
**************************************Check out AOL's list of 2007's hottest
products.
(http://money.aol.com/special/hot-products-2007?NCID=aoltop00030000000001)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sylvia Toyama
Anyway I need some help for this up coming party - It is a challenge for me to make them understand - I get stuck with "It is the right thing for us to do - I haven't been so sure of anything before." Well that holds very little water as it should. I am happy that they care so much about my guys and don't want to discourage that but how can I convince them it will be OK?
Elizabeth L
*****
Elizabeth, you can't convince anyone -- certainly not family members -- of ANYTHING they don't want to believe. The good news is that it's not your responsibility to do so!
Personally, I find that "It's the right choice for our family" is all I need to say. If they feel a need to hear "more" from me, then they need to first trust me as a parent, to trust that we love our children more than we could ever put into words and that of course we are doing what we deeply believe is the best thing for them.
Sure, it can be helpful to share info, books, etc with them -- but only if they're open to reading that info, only if they really desire to understand your choice.
All they really have to do is recognize your right to make any choice you believe in for your family. For me, it helped first to establish/remind my parents (actually done years before unschooling, since the've always questioned my parenting methods) that I am the mother of these children, and I get to make those choices; as grandparents, they need to respect my position.
With the inlaws -- who are much more respectful people than my own parents -- it was enough to say "we really feel this is the right choice for us, and we'd like some time to see results. If we reach a day when the results aren't good for the kids, or this choice isn't working for us, we'll try something else." With them, I've recommended books I found helpful, and shared articles, etc, only to have no one ever ask to read anything I suggest. They don't really want to know the details, they just want to know we're really convinced of what we're doing.
One book I'd recommend before any other is The Book of Learning and Forgetting, by Frank Smith. It's not really an explanation of unschooling, but rather an explication of how learning happens and why today's schools fail to teach so many kids.
Also, I'd never open the conversation about a choice to take the kids from school with unschooling to any relative --we first told the grands we were homeschooling, and they trusted we were reasonably intelligent enough to do the right thing by our kids. Only once they saw we weren't doing school at home, did we talk about unschooling. My Mom heard a couple of years ago when she stayed in our home for a few months; dh's folks just heard about it last month; my Dad still has never heard the word unschooling from me. And we've been unschooling for almost 5 yrs now, preceded by a year of "eclectic" homeschooling (done in a quite lazy fashion).
Sylvia
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Elizabeth L
*****
Elizabeth, you can't convince anyone -- certainly not family members -- of ANYTHING they don't want to believe. The good news is that it's not your responsibility to do so!
Personally, I find that "It's the right choice for our family" is all I need to say. If they feel a need to hear "more" from me, then they need to first trust me as a parent, to trust that we love our children more than we could ever put into words and that of course we are doing what we deeply believe is the best thing for them.
Sure, it can be helpful to share info, books, etc with them -- but only if they're open to reading that info, only if they really desire to understand your choice.
All they really have to do is recognize your right to make any choice you believe in for your family. For me, it helped first to establish/remind my parents (actually done years before unschooling, since the've always questioned my parenting methods) that I am the mother of these children, and I get to make those choices; as grandparents, they need to respect my position.
With the inlaws -- who are much more respectful people than my own parents -- it was enough to say "we really feel this is the right choice for us, and we'd like some time to see results. If we reach a day when the results aren't good for the kids, or this choice isn't working for us, we'll try something else." With them, I've recommended books I found helpful, and shared articles, etc, only to have no one ever ask to read anything I suggest. They don't really want to know the details, they just want to know we're really convinced of what we're doing.
One book I'd recommend before any other is The Book of Learning and Forgetting, by Frank Smith. It's not really an explanation of unschooling, but rather an explication of how learning happens and why today's schools fail to teach so many kids.
Also, I'd never open the conversation about a choice to take the kids from school with unschooling to any relative --we first told the grands we were homeschooling, and they trusted we were reasonably intelligent enough to do the right thing by our kids. Only once they saw we weren't doing school at home, did we talk about unschooling. My Mom heard a couple of years ago when she stayed in our home for a few months; dh's folks just heard about it last month; my Dad still has never heard the word unschooling from me. And we've been unschooling for almost 5 yrs now, preceded by a year of "eclectic" homeschooling (done in a quite lazy fashion).
Sylvia
---------------------------------
Be a better sports nut! Let your teams follow you with Yahoo Mobile. Try it now.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pamela Sorooshian
On Nov 30, 2007, at 10:17 AM, Sylvia Toyama wrote:
but we're always re-evaluating."
For skeptical school-thinking relatives - I never talked about
unschooling, just homeschooling was hard enough for them to accept and
understand. I let them assume there was conventional teaching going
on, and, at the same time, talked about all the very cool things we
were doing, places we were going, the amazing new things the kids were
learning. The school-think relatives assumed that was all
extracurricular or supplemental, and that was okay, kept them from
challenging me or being unnecessarily worried. If they flat-out asked,
"Are you teaching her to read?" I would say, "Oh yes, she's well on
her way." Or, "What do you do for math?" Answer: "All kinds of things,
as homeschoolers we can pick and choose and individualize for each
child." "Well, what is she learning? Does she know her times tables
yet?" "Oh, she's working on that, but right now we're focusing on
conceptual understanding of basic numeric functions."
They weren't equipped to understand that the kids were learning
everything, all the time, that everything they did was part of
learning everything they would ever learn.
My mom, on the other hand, a high school teacher who taught child
development and ran a laboratory preschool at a high school,
understood unschooling very very well. She worked much of her life to
get schools, especially kindergartens, to stop doing structured
lessons and, instead, set up classrooms as places kids could be free
to learn what and when they were ready to learn. She was one of the
pioneers of "developmentally-appropriate curriculum." Anyway, she had
no problem at all calling what we did a "curriculum." To her, it was
the very best curriculum - the ideal. She thought I was the best
"teacher" there could be, that creating a wonderful enriched and
supportive-of-learning environment was what a really great teacher
would do.
For purposes of getting to understand unschooling, it has proved to be
useful not to refer to what we do in conventional school terminology.
We try not to talk about curriculum and teaching and lessons, etc.
But, that IS the language of learning for most people. If you deny to
them that any of that is going on, they have nothing to replace it
with. Scary for them!
I'd suggest focusing more on how homeschooling allows
individualization of learning and always quickly get the conversation
shifted over to some cool thing your child just learned. Don't try to
persuade anybody about unschooling, let them see, as your kids grow
up, how cool and interesting and nice they are.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> Personally, I find that "It's the right choice for our family" isAnd, I also said, "We're going to stick with homeschooling for now,
> all I need to say.
but we're always re-evaluating."
For skeptical school-thinking relatives - I never talked about
unschooling, just homeschooling was hard enough for them to accept and
understand. I let them assume there was conventional teaching going
on, and, at the same time, talked about all the very cool things we
were doing, places we were going, the amazing new things the kids were
learning. The school-think relatives assumed that was all
extracurricular or supplemental, and that was okay, kept them from
challenging me or being unnecessarily worried. If they flat-out asked,
"Are you teaching her to read?" I would say, "Oh yes, she's well on
her way." Or, "What do you do for math?" Answer: "All kinds of things,
as homeschoolers we can pick and choose and individualize for each
child." "Well, what is she learning? Does she know her times tables
yet?" "Oh, she's working on that, but right now we're focusing on
conceptual understanding of basic numeric functions."
They weren't equipped to understand that the kids were learning
everything, all the time, that everything they did was part of
learning everything they would ever learn.
My mom, on the other hand, a high school teacher who taught child
development and ran a laboratory preschool at a high school,
understood unschooling very very well. She worked much of her life to
get schools, especially kindergartens, to stop doing structured
lessons and, instead, set up classrooms as places kids could be free
to learn what and when they were ready to learn. She was one of the
pioneers of "developmentally-appropriate curriculum." Anyway, she had
no problem at all calling what we did a "curriculum." To her, it was
the very best curriculum - the ideal. She thought I was the best
"teacher" there could be, that creating a wonderful enriched and
supportive-of-learning environment was what a really great teacher
would do.
For purposes of getting to understand unschooling, it has proved to be
useful not to refer to what we do in conventional school terminology.
We try not to talk about curriculum and teaching and lessons, etc.
But, that IS the language of learning for most people. If you deny to
them that any of that is going on, they have nothing to replace it
with. Scary for them!
I'd suggest focusing more on how homeschooling allows
individualization of learning and always quickly get the conversation
shifted over to some cool thing your child just learned. Don't try to
persuade anybody about unschooling, let them see, as your kids grow
up, how cool and interesting and nice they are.
-pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Redomestication.com
My 5 y/o will not be returning to school after winter break and we will
be unschooling.
He enjoys school, mostly because he likes playing with the other children.
We've done our best to find local resources, homeschool groups, etc. so
he WILL have other children to play with, and we'll also try to keep in
touch with his favorite kids from school to play with when they're out.
I don't want our announcement - that there will be no more school - to
be met with an unhappy reaction from him because he's afraid of missing
his friends. And I'm prepared to tell him about all the fun things
we'll be doing, the time we'll have together, where we'll meet other
children, but's he's a "see it to belive it" kinda guy.
What are your suggestions for announcing/introducing unschooling to
young children who have been in school?
-Michelle
be unschooling.
He enjoys school, mostly because he likes playing with the other children.
We've done our best to find local resources, homeschool groups, etc. so
he WILL have other children to play with, and we'll also try to keep in
touch with his favorite kids from school to play with when they're out.
I don't want our announcement - that there will be no more school - to
be met with an unhappy reaction from him because he's afraid of missing
his friends. And I'm prepared to tell him about all the fun things
we'll be doing, the time we'll have together, where we'll meet other
children, but's he's a "see it to belive it" kinda guy.
What are your suggestions for announcing/introducing unschooling to
young children who have been in school?
-Michelle
Amanda Horein
My MIL was against us homeschool and I have not approached the unschooling
topic with her. At first and at the start of every school year I "have" to
listen to them talk about how good school is for them. I just nod my head
and smile. That has been the MOST effective way to get them to SHUT UP!
LOL!
--
Amanda
Wife to Roger (nearly 10 years)
Mum to Marti (7) and Lilly (4)
Babysitter to Stella (3)
http://whatmykidstaughtme.blogspot.com/
Since we can't know what knowledge will be most needed in the future, it is
senseless to try to teach it in advance. Instead, we should try to turn out
people who love learning so much and learn so well that they will be able to
learn whatever needs to be learned
� John Holt
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
topic with her. At first and at the start of every school year I "have" to
listen to them talk about how good school is for them. I just nod my head
and smile. That has been the MOST effective way to get them to SHUT UP!
LOL!
--
Amanda
Wife to Roger (nearly 10 years)
Mum to Marti (7) and Lilly (4)
Babysitter to Stella (3)
http://whatmykidstaughtme.blogspot.com/
Since we can't know what knowledge will be most needed in the future, it is
senseless to try to teach it in advance. Instead, we should try to turn out
people who love learning so much and learn so well that they will be able to
learn whatever needs to be learned
� John Holt
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pamela Sorooshian
His own calendar - a cool wall calendar. Nice time of year to spend
some time finding a fun one.
Put all his activities on it - make sure he has play dates with
friends scheduled, especially. Even if he can't really read it, it'll
help him be more comfortable that his social life won't be coming to a
screeching halt.
But, are you taking him out of school by surprise? I mean - does he
have no clue this is about to happen?
You could just start going to a homeschool group - skip school once a
week to go. Find a group he clicks with and then he'll probably beg
YOU to let him stay out of school and hang out with his homeschooling
friends at the park or wherever they meet.
-pam
some time finding a fun one.
Put all his activities on it - make sure he has play dates with
friends scheduled, especially. Even if he can't really read it, it'll
help him be more comfortable that his social life won't be coming to a
screeching halt.
But, are you taking him out of school by surprise? I mean - does he
have no clue this is about to happen?
You could just start going to a homeschool group - skip school once a
week to go. Find a group he clicks with and then he'll probably beg
YOU to let him stay out of school and hang out with his homeschooling
friends at the park or wherever they meet.
-pam
On Nov 30, 2007, at 1:41 PM, Redomestication.com wrote:
> What are your suggestions for announcing/introducing unschooling to
> young children who have been in school?
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Redomestication.com
The calendar is a great idea - thanks Pam!
it's out there. We've talked a bit about the positives of
homeschool/unschooling too. But we've not yet told him that he'll be
doing it - thus my question to the group. I haven't been certain how,
exactly, to tell him.
In our little discussions here and there about what HS is, he first said
he'd like to HS, then said he just wants to HS on the weekends and go to
regular school during the week.
Re: going to a homeschool group - unfortunately, the HS groups (within 1
1/2 hrs drive from here) don't seem to meet regularly... Which is a big
bummer. We'll be attending, for sure, when they do do something, and
have already set up a playdate with another HS'ing mom & her kids. But
the homeschool community out here isn't as active as I'd like. Perhaps
I can drum up some action, as there are Yahoo groups, they just don't
seem to plan much, and there's strife about people being flaky.
-Michelle
> But, are you taking him out of school by surprise? I mean - does heWe've discussed that there are children who homeschool, so he's aware
> have no clue this is about to happen?
it's out there. We've talked a bit about the positives of
homeschool/unschooling too. But we've not yet told him that he'll be
doing it - thus my question to the group. I haven't been certain how,
exactly, to tell him.
In our little discussions here and there about what HS is, he first said
he'd like to HS, then said he just wants to HS on the weekends and go to
regular school during the week.
Re: going to a homeschool group - unfortunately, the HS groups (within 1
1/2 hrs drive from here) don't seem to meet regularly... Which is a big
bummer. We'll be attending, for sure, when they do do something, and
have already set up a playdate with another HS'ing mom & her kids. But
the homeschool community out here isn't as active as I'd like. Perhaps
I can drum up some action, as there are Yahoo groups, they just don't
seem to plan much, and there's strife about people being flaky.
-Michelle
Melissa Chevere
"Re: going to a homeschool group - unfortunately, the HS groups (within 1
1/2 hrs drive from here) don't seem to meet regularly.."
There is always the MOMS Club. I joined when we moved to MO and have made
some really great friends and a few moms homeschool. The kids have made
great friends and always look forward to doing the fun stuff and the
community projects.
http://www.momsclub.org/welcome.html
HTH~!,
Melissa in MO
Mom to 3 great kiddos
Isaiah 5, Isabella 3 1/2, and Anne Elise 16 mo
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
1/2 hrs drive from here) don't seem to meet regularly.."
There is always the MOMS Club. I joined when we moved to MO and have made
some really great friends and a few moms homeschool. The kids have made
great friends and always look forward to doing the fun stuff and the
community projects.
http://www.momsclub.org/welcome.html
HTH~!,
Melissa in MO
Mom to 3 great kiddos
Isaiah 5, Isabella 3 1/2, and Anne Elise 16 mo
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]