Nance Confer

unschoolingbasicsFWIW, this holding onto hurts and dredging them back up months and years later is something I see in some of our extended family members.

The inability or unwillingness to let go of, often long forgotten by everyone else, disagreements and snubs (real or perceived) is never a positive thing when it happens in our family. The relatives I am thinking of are mainly old, though, and we often chalk it up to that and agree that it is too late for them to learn healthier habits.

One thing I have noticed is that the person accused of doing the hurtful thing is often, now, a completely different perseon -- not surprising as we are talking about such long periods of time -- and had been going along thinking fences were mended and things were fine until they get slammed in the face with some stored up anger about something they barely remember.

Does your DS want to let go of those hurts? Forgive? Forget? Or stew in them? Or something else, in between?

Nance



My ds can bring up old hurts from way long ago. We talk about it,
sometimes with solutions in mind (for the next time we see someone),
sometimes I just listen.



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