Unschooling and Boredom?
Tina
I tried asking this on a different venue a while ago. I'm hoping
that someone here will be able to relate. We've been unschooling for
about eight months now. Before that it was school-at-home, before
that it was public charter school, and before that it was school-at-
home. Long story, but that's the low down. Plus, you should also
know that we are a combined family of seven children, and my son, age
10, is our only un/homeschooled child.
Have any of you been through "phases" of boredom? He went through it
a while ago. It wasn't too long or too intense. Currently he's kind
of freaking me out. He is SO bored. He sometimes walks around in
circles in the back yard because he can't think of anything to do.
He spends a lot of time walking around sighing, etc. When I ask him
what's up he says he's bored. When I ask him what he wants to do he
says he doesn't know. If I offer suggestions of things he might like
to do he's not interested.
What is the appropriate response to this dilemma? Have any of you
been through this? The poor kid just doesn't really seem too
interested in anything. I'm looking forward to the time when the
other kids that are going back to school get there. I know it may
sound mean to some, but that's when we can truely be ourselves and
spend our days the way we'd like to without interference. It really
is difficult raising one unschooled child, with so many others in
public school. Can anyone relate to this?
Any input on this subject would be greatly appreciated. I've really
been enjoying reading the discussions that have been going on
lately...
Thanks - Tina
that someone here will be able to relate. We've been unschooling for
about eight months now. Before that it was school-at-home, before
that it was public charter school, and before that it was school-at-
home. Long story, but that's the low down. Plus, you should also
know that we are a combined family of seven children, and my son, age
10, is our only un/homeschooled child.
Have any of you been through "phases" of boredom? He went through it
a while ago. It wasn't too long or too intense. Currently he's kind
of freaking me out. He is SO bored. He sometimes walks around in
circles in the back yard because he can't think of anything to do.
He spends a lot of time walking around sighing, etc. When I ask him
what's up he says he's bored. When I ask him what he wants to do he
says he doesn't know. If I offer suggestions of things he might like
to do he's not interested.
What is the appropriate response to this dilemma? Have any of you
been through this? The poor kid just doesn't really seem too
interested in anything. I'm looking forward to the time when the
other kids that are going back to school get there. I know it may
sound mean to some, but that's when we can truely be ourselves and
spend our days the way we'd like to without interference. It really
is difficult raising one unschooled child, with so many others in
public school. Can anyone relate to this?
Any input on this subject would be greatly appreciated. I've really
been enjoying reading the discussions that have been going on
lately...
Thanks - Tina
Joan Labbe & Salvatore Genovese
"What is the appropriate response to this dilemma? Have any of you
been through this? The poor kid just doesn't really seem too
interested in anything. I'm looking forward to the time when the
other kids that are going back to school get there. I know it may
sound mean to some, but that's when we can truely be ourselves and
spend our days the way we'd like to without interference. It really
is difficult raising one unschooled child, with so many others in
public school. Can anyone relate to this?"
Tina,
I can't relate in terms of my own experience, but from reading your post,
since you are saying spending your days as you like with your unschooled son
seems interfered by with your other schooled kids, I'm wondering if the
"boredom" is an expression of frustration on your unschooled son's part that
there are things he wants to do that he "can't" right now? I've noticed
with my five year old niece, to whom most things at home are "can't" that
she is "bored" a lot and it seems to me to be related to her ability to
follow her natural inclinations being stuffed. If you think this is the
case with your son, I wonder if talking to him about what he'd do if the
other kids were back at school would help. Maybe you could work with him to
figure out ways to do some of those things now, although not as
spontaneously?
Sounds like a difficult situation. Wish I had more to offer you...
Joan
been through this? The poor kid just doesn't really seem too
interested in anything. I'm looking forward to the time when the
other kids that are going back to school get there. I know it may
sound mean to some, but that's when we can truely be ourselves and
spend our days the way we'd like to without interference. It really
is difficult raising one unschooled child, with so many others in
public school. Can anyone relate to this?"
Tina,
I can't relate in terms of my own experience, but from reading your post,
since you are saying spending your days as you like with your unschooled son
seems interfered by with your other schooled kids, I'm wondering if the
"boredom" is an expression of frustration on your unschooled son's part that
there are things he wants to do that he "can't" right now? I've noticed
with my five year old niece, to whom most things at home are "can't" that
she is "bored" a lot and it seems to me to be related to her ability to
follow her natural inclinations being stuffed. If you think this is the
case with your son, I wonder if talking to him about what he'd do if the
other kids were back at school would help. Maybe you could work with him to
figure out ways to do some of those things now, although not as
spontaneously?
Sounds like a difficult situation. Wish I had more to offer you...
Joan
Lanie Carlson-Lim
Tina,
I do relate. I decided to homeschool last year (against my ex's wishes)..my 8yo is homeschooled (mostly unschooled) and my 11yo goes to public school. I have tried to entice him to homeschool, but he says ps is what he's used to, plus he knows his dad wouldn't be supportive. It has made going to conference interesting because his first day of middle school is AUG 26, but we have agreed to wait until THURS afternoon to leave for MASS and he has agreed to miss FRIDAY of school. I do get tired though of trying to juggle around his school schedule or feeling guilty if Eric and I do something while he's at school I think he would also enjoy.
On the boredom note...Eric was having a similar "I don't know what I want to do" issue...so we decided that we will sit down once a week and plan out some things for the following week based on his current interests, so that when he doesn't know what to do we can refer back for ideas and we will have materials on hand. He said the thing he didn't like about homeschooling was having to think of what to do all the time. Also just having materials located where he can get them for whatever he wants to do has helped.
I hope this helps
Lanie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I do relate. I decided to homeschool last year (against my ex's wishes)..my 8yo is homeschooled (mostly unschooled) and my 11yo goes to public school. I have tried to entice him to homeschool, but he says ps is what he's used to, plus he knows his dad wouldn't be supportive. It has made going to conference interesting because his first day of middle school is AUG 26, but we have agreed to wait until THURS afternoon to leave for MASS and he has agreed to miss FRIDAY of school. I do get tired though of trying to juggle around his school schedule or feeling guilty if Eric and I do something while he's at school I think he would also enjoy.
On the boredom note...Eric was having a similar "I don't know what I want to do" issue...so we decided that we will sit down once a week and plan out some things for the following week based on his current interests, so that when he doesn't know what to do we can refer back for ideas and we will have materials on hand. He said the thing he didn't like about homeschooling was having to think of what to do all the time. Also just having materials located where he can get them for whatever he wants to do has helped.
I hope this helps
Lanie
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Vijay Berry Owens
I really like this! No matter how energetic and responsive and
imaginative we want to be as parents, sometimes our enthusiasm flags,
and we may not do as much strewing (or other unschooling techniques) as
we should.
I think its great when you start to hear "I'm bored" from a kid to put
the ball in their court, and say, "I keep hearing you say that you are
bored this week. Let's make sure you aren't bored next week too by
sitting down now and planning one cool thing to do each day." And then
stick to the plan even if that "one cool thing" means getting in the car
and driving a long way, or represents a similar expenditure of effort on
the part of the parent. Or even if it means going to the zoo or aquarium
every day for a while until the child has gotten their fill, even if it
is boring for the parent after the second day.
It puts kids in charge of actively pursuing their interests (love that)
and takes some of the guilt away from the parent for feeling like
they're not doing enough or being creative enough, while making sure
that it's not the parent calling all the shots. And puts an end to the
boredom. The kid might forever remember fondly "that week we went to the
zoo 5 times." It also just might be inspirational to the parent who
might feel somewhat refreshed by forcing themselves to step outside the
regular routine.
Magic!
-Vijay Berry Owens
SAHM to Charlotte, 14 months
imaginative we want to be as parents, sometimes our enthusiasm flags,
and we may not do as much strewing (or other unschooling techniques) as
we should.
I think its great when you start to hear "I'm bored" from a kid to put
the ball in their court, and say, "I keep hearing you say that you are
bored this week. Let's make sure you aren't bored next week too by
sitting down now and planning one cool thing to do each day." And then
stick to the plan even if that "one cool thing" means getting in the car
and driving a long way, or represents a similar expenditure of effort on
the part of the parent. Or even if it means going to the zoo or aquarium
every day for a while until the child has gotten their fill, even if it
is boring for the parent after the second day.
It puts kids in charge of actively pursuing their interests (love that)
and takes some of the guilt away from the parent for feeling like
they're not doing enough or being creative enough, while making sure
that it's not the parent calling all the shots. And puts an end to the
boredom. The kid might forever remember fondly "that week we went to the
zoo 5 times." It also just might be inspirational to the parent who
might feel somewhat refreshed by forcing themselves to step outside the
regular routine.
Magic!
-Vijay Berry Owens
SAHM to Charlotte, 14 months
On Friday, August 13, 2004, at 09:40 PM, Lanie Carlson-Lim wrote:
> On the boredom note...Eric was having a similar "I don't know what I
> want to do" issue...so we decided that we will sit down once a week and
> plan out some things for the following week based on his current
> interests
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
TreeGoddess
On Aug 13, 2004, at 6:01 PM, Tina wrote:
Have you read Sandra's article entitled "Bore No More"?
http://sandradodd.com/BoredNoMore
Also, there was a recent article in Life Learning Magazine about
boredom. Do you get that 'zine, Tina? I highly recommend it. :)
We're going to pick blueberries next week -- would you guys like to
join us? Contact me off list and we'll get together soon. I'll bring
that magazine so you can read the article.
-Tracy-
> [Have any of you been through "phases" of boredom? He went through itTina,
> a while ago. It wasn't too long or too intense. Currently he's kind
> of freaking me out. He is SO bored. He sometimes walks around in
> circles in the back yard because he can't think of anything to do.
> He spends a lot of time walking around sighing, etc. When I ask him
> what's up he says he's bored. When I ask him what he wants to do he
> says he doesn't know. If I offer suggestions of things he might like
> to do he's not interested.]
Have you read Sandra's article entitled "Bore No More"?
http://sandradodd.com/BoredNoMore
Also, there was a recent article in Life Learning Magazine about
boredom. Do you get that 'zine, Tina? I highly recommend it. :)
We're going to pick blueberries next week -- would you guys like to
join us? Contact me off list and we'll get together soon. I'll bring
that magazine so you can read the article.
-Tracy-
[email protected]
In a message dated 8/13/2004 6:02:42 PM Eastern Daylight Time,
zoocrew@... writes:
Have any of you been through "phases" of boredom? He went through it
a while ago. It wasn't too long or too intense. Currently he's kind
of freaking me out. He is SO bored. He sometimes walks around in
circles in the back yard because he can't think of anything to do.
He spends a lot of time walking around sighing, etc. When I ask him
what's up he says he's bored. When I ask him what he wants to do he
says he doesn't know. If I offer suggestions of things he might like
to do he's not interested.<<<<
I'm guessing that FIRST he needs to heal. I'd let him rest and sleep and get
to know himself more.
At the same time, I would plan things to do almost every day.
Monday: beach
Tuesday: art museum
Wednesday: play with clay
Thursday: picnic at the park
Friday: Japanese restaurant and going to the landscaping store to look at
Japanese gardens
These are things for YOU to do, not him. Invite him, for sure. But plan on
being interested and doing interesting things yourSELF! Give him time. He'll
join you before too long. And car time is talk time! I love driving with my
boys.
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
zoocrew@... writes:
Have any of you been through "phases" of boredom? He went through it
a while ago. It wasn't too long or too intense. Currently he's kind
of freaking me out. He is SO bored. He sometimes walks around in
circles in the back yard because he can't think of anything to do.
He spends a lot of time walking around sighing, etc. When I ask him
what's up he says he's bored. When I ask him what he wants to do he
says he doesn't know. If I offer suggestions of things he might like
to do he's not interested.<<<<
I'm guessing that FIRST he needs to heal. I'd let him rest and sleep and get
to know himself more.
At the same time, I would plan things to do almost every day.
Monday: beach
Tuesday: art museum
Wednesday: play with clay
Thursday: picnic at the park
Friday: Japanese restaurant and going to the landscaping store to look at
Japanese gardens
These are things for YOU to do, not him. Invite him, for sure. But plan on
being interested and doing interesting things yourSELF! Give him time. He'll
join you before too long. And car time is talk time! I love driving with my
boys.
~Kelly
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tina
Tracy
Oh how I would LOVE to go pick blueberries with you. Gee, guess
what? We can't! Everyday this week is scheduled in preparation for
the graduation party. I am putting on everything myself. So, Monday
is last minute shopping and errand running with an eye appointment
thrown in the middle. Tuesday is purchasing produce and PS
registration. Wednesday is cleaning with a little help from a
friend, and Thursday and Friday are cooking, baking and cake
decorating. WHEW! Just per chance I can see a break anywhere, when
do you plan to go and where is it?
Did you get my email about when I told Adrian about your son? His
reaction was so refreshing for me. I have some old copies of some
unschooling magazines, but I don't remember their names off hand.
They have been great reading for me. I've been thinking about a
subscription to Live and Learn. Maybe it's time...
Thanks a lot!
Tina
--- In [email protected], TreeGoddess
<treegoddess@c...> wrote:
Oh how I would LOVE to go pick blueberries with you. Gee, guess
what? We can't! Everyday this week is scheduled in preparation for
the graduation party. I am putting on everything myself. So, Monday
is last minute shopping and errand running with an eye appointment
thrown in the middle. Tuesday is purchasing produce and PS
registration. Wednesday is cleaning with a little help from a
friend, and Thursday and Friday are cooking, baking and cake
decorating. WHEW! Just per chance I can see a break anywhere, when
do you plan to go and where is it?
Did you get my email about when I told Adrian about your son? His
reaction was so refreshing for me. I have some old copies of some
unschooling magazines, but I don't remember their names off hand.
They have been great reading for me. I've been thinking about a
subscription to Live and Learn. Maybe it's time...
Thanks a lot!
Tina
--- In [email protected], TreeGoddess
<treegoddess@c...> wrote:
> On Aug 13, 2004, at 6:01 PM, Tina wrote:through it
>
> > [Have any of you been through "phases" of boredom? He went
> > a while ago. It wasn't too long or too intense. Currently he'skind
> > of freaking me out. He is SO bored. He sometimes walks around inhim
> > circles in the back yard because he can't think of anything to do.
> > He spends a lot of time walking around sighing, etc. When I ask
> > what's up he says he's bored. When I ask him what he wants to dohe
> > says he doesn't know. If I offer suggestions of things he mightlike
> > to do he's not interested.]bring
>
> Tina,
>
> Have you read Sandra's article entitled "Bore No More"?
> http://sandradodd.com/BoredNoMore
>
> Also, there was a recent article in Life Learning Magazine about
> boredom. Do you get that 'zine, Tina? I highly recommend it. :)
>
> We're going to pick blueberries next week -- would you guys like to
> join us? Contact me off list and we'll get together soon. I'll
> that magazine so you can read the article.
>
> -Tracy-
Tina
Sorry guys! I meant to send this to Tracy off list...
--- In [email protected], "Tina" <zoocrew@w...> wrote:
> Tracy
>
> Oh how I would LOVE to go pick blueberries with you. Gee, guess
> what? We can't! Everyday this week is scheduled in preparation
for
> the graduation party. I am putting on everything myself. So,
Monday
> is last minute shopping and errand running with an eye appointment
> thrown in the middle. Tuesday is purchasing produce and PS
> registration. Wednesday is cleaning with a little help from a
> friend, and Thursday and Friday are cooking, baking and cake
> decorating. WHEW! Just per chance I can see a break anywhere,
when
> do you plan to go and where is it?
>
> Did you get my email about when I told Adrian about your son? His
> reaction was so refreshing for me. I have some old copies of some
> unschooling magazines, but I don't remember their names off hand.
> They have been great reading for me. I've been thinking about a
> subscription to Live and Learn. Maybe it's time...
>
> Thanks a lot!
>
> Tina
>
> --- In [email protected], TreeGoddess
> <treegoddess@c...> wrote:
> > On Aug 13, 2004, at 6:01 PM, Tina wrote:
> >
> > > [Have any of you been through "phases" of boredom? He went
> through it
> > > a while ago. It wasn't too long or too intense. Currently
he's
> kind
> > > of freaking me out. He is SO bored. He sometimes walks around
in
> > > circles in the back yard because he can't think of anything to
do.
> > > He spends a lot of time walking around sighing, etc. When I
ask
> him
> > > what's up he says he's bored. When I ask him what he wants to
do
> he
> > > says he doesn't know. If I offer suggestions of things he
might
> like
> > > to do he's not interested.]
> >
> > Tina,
> >
> > Have you read Sandra's article entitled "Bore No More"?
> > http://sandradodd.com/BoredNoMore
> >
> > Also, there was a recent article in Life Learning Magazine about
> > boredom. Do you get that 'zine, Tina? I highly recommend it. :)
> >
> > We're going to pick blueberries next week -- would you guys like
to
> > join us? Contact me off list and we'll get together soon. I'll
> bring
> > that magazine so you can read the article.
> >
> > -Tracy-