I have a few more questions.
doxielover84
Hi everyone.I have a few more questions.
1)At what do you let the children regulate their eating and tv
watching?
2) How can I find other unschoolars in my area?
We live in the Tn. area and have a 21 mth old son. Nancy
1)At what do you let the children regulate their eating and tv
watching?
2) How can I find other unschoolars in my area?
We live in the Tn. area and have a 21 mth old son. Nancy
Dana Matt
--- doxielover84 <doxielover84@...> wrote:
I always let my kids chose for themselves, since they
on-demand breastfed (well, one still does at 6 yo).
Of course, when they were first trying new foods they
didn't ask for cheetos, they just grabbed what was on
my plate.
They have watched Barney and the like since forever as
well, and have always walked/crawled away when they
had had enough TV....Still do...
Dana
from Montana
__________________________________
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> Hi everyone.I have a few more questions.I assume you mean "at what age"?
> 1)At what do you let the children regulate their
> eating and tv
> watching?
I always let my kids chose for themselves, since they
on-demand breastfed (well, one still does at 6 yo).
Of course, when they were first trying new foods they
didn't ask for cheetos, they just grabbed what was on
my plate.
They have watched Barney and the like since forever as
well, and have always walked/crawled away when they
had had enough TV....Still do...
Dana
from Montana
__________________________________
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Friends. Fun. Try the all-new Yahoo! Messenger.
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Fetteroll
on 6/3/04 4:41 PM, doxielover84 at doxielover84@... wrote:
a some standard decided by someone else.
My daughter won't make the same choices I will. What I do is live my values
and provide a safe environment for her to explore in. She trusts I'll give
her good information but treats it as information rather than directives of
what to do. We've talked about nutrition so she's knows that there's more
her body needs in an apple than a bag of chips but she doesn't fear a bag of
chips.
She can ask for anything she wants from the grocery store. Then I provide
healthy food and make it as easy or easier to grab than snacky stuff (or at
least try to remember to!).
Rather than dividing up the world into good and bad, she divides it up into
interested in and not interested in (yet). When nothing is forbidden, things
aren't nearly as intriguing as people fear! My daughter could subsist on a
diet of Jolt Cola and chips and switch between mature-content TV programs
and gory, sexual video games. But she doesn't. That's because she chooses
what interests her and avoids what doesn't interest her.
tennessee OR TN unschool OR unschooler OR unschoolers OR unschooling
(the ORs need to be capitalized so Google reads them as a command rather
than as a word to search for.)
Also check at places that appeal to alternative lifestyle folks like food
coops and health food stores. Check with the librarian and library bulletin
board. If none of those pan out, put up flyers of your own in the above
places to invite unschoolers to a get together.
Joyce
> At what do you let the children regulate their eating and tvI would word it as make their own choices since regulate implies adhering to
> watching?
a some standard decided by someone else.
My daughter won't make the same choices I will. What I do is live my values
and provide a safe environment for her to explore in. She trusts I'll give
her good information but treats it as information rather than directives of
what to do. We've talked about nutrition so she's knows that there's more
her body needs in an apple than a bag of chips but she doesn't fear a bag of
chips.
She can ask for anything she wants from the grocery store. Then I provide
healthy food and make it as easy or easier to grab than snacky stuff (or at
least try to remember to!).
Rather than dividing up the world into good and bad, she divides it up into
interested in and not interested in (yet). When nothing is forbidden, things
aren't nearly as intriguing as people fear! My daughter could subsist on a
diet of Jolt Cola and chips and switch between mature-content TV programs
and gory, sexual video games. But she doesn't. That's because she chooses
what interests her and avoids what doesn't interest her.
> How can I find other unschoolars in my area?Go to Google (http://www.google.com) and paste into the search:
tennessee OR TN unschool OR unschooler OR unschoolers OR unschooling
(the ORs need to be capitalized so Google reads them as a command rather
than as a word to search for.)
Also check at places that appeal to alternative lifestyle folks like food
coops and health food stores. Check with the librarian and library bulletin
board. If none of those pan out, put up flyers of your own in the above
places to invite unschoolers to a get together.
Joyce
G&M Contracting Inc., Kenneth Gillilan
>>>>I always let my kids chose for themselves, since theyon-demand breastfed (well, one still does at 6 you).
Of course, when they were first trying new foods they
didn't ask for cheetos, they just grabbed what was on
my plate.>>>>>
Dana,
Please don't take offense to what I am about to say, but I never could
understand the extended breastfeeding theory. I have four children and They
were done breastfeeding at all around a 1-11/2 years. I didn't choose for
them to stop, but they became fidgety and annoyed with it. When the cup was
introduced they just didn't want the restrictions that breastfeeding
demanded(holding them while they were eating). I was in pain physically
through my entire breastfeeding experience with my youngest and I won't be
afraid to admit that I was relieved when he stopped. No matter what
position or "trick" I used to get more comfortable it was like he was
chewing on me and I would crack and bleed. I went through 15 months of
torture, but I let him decide when he wanted to stop. I never took
breastfeeding away from them, but I think personally I would be a little
uncomfortable with my oldest son coming to me in the middle of a public
gathering and asking to breastfeed. Truthfully I think it must be my own
feeling of being uptight that get in the way. I was one of those moms who
would hide to breastfeed even though I though it was a beautiful thing.
Like I said I am not insulting your decision to extend breastfeeding
pass the "norm", but I am curious as to your thoughts behind it.
AnnMarie
-----Original Message-----
From: Dana Matt [mailto:hoffmanwilson@...]
Sent: Thursday, June 03, 2004 5:47 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] I have a few more questions.
--- doxielover84 <doxielover84@...> wrote:
> Hi everyone.I have a few more questions.I assume you mean "at what age"?
> 1)At what do you let the children regulate their
> eating and tv
> watching?
I always let my kids chose for themselves, since they
on-demand breastfed (well, one still does at 6 yo).
Of course, when they were first trying new foods they
didn't ask for cheetos, they just grabbed what was on
my plate.
They have watched Barney and the like since forever as
well, and have always walked/crawled away when they
had had enough TV....Still do...
Dana
from Montana
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Dana Matt
Well, world-wide, breastfeeding usually takes place
for 4-7 years. It's just here in the good ol' US
where we're freaked about our breasts that the average
is under a year.
I know it seems strange, if you haven't been there.
But when you never stop it never gets to be strange.
When she was 4, 6 sounded strange, but now it doesn't
;) She's just not done yet! And I'm one of these
brazen fling-a-breast-out-anywhere moms, sometimes two
;) so I'm sure that has something to do with it, but
really she and I haven't done much nursing in public
since she was about 3. It's just sweet time that we
spend together in bed in the morning and before we
fall asleep at night, and throughout the day when she
thinks of it, which over the years is less and less...
It's ok that you ask :)
Dana
--- "G&M Contracting Inc., Kenneth Gillilan"
<gmcontractinginc@...> wrote:
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for 4-7 years. It's just here in the good ol' US
where we're freaked about our breasts that the average
is under a year.
I know it seems strange, if you haven't been there.
But when you never stop it never gets to be strange.
When she was 4, 6 sounded strange, but now it doesn't
;) She's just not done yet! And I'm one of these
brazen fling-a-breast-out-anywhere moms, sometimes two
;) so I'm sure that has something to do with it, but
really she and I haven't done much nursing in public
since she was about 3. It's just sweet time that we
spend together in bed in the morning and before we
fall asleep at night, and throughout the day when she
thinks of it, which over the years is less and less...
It's ok that you ask :)
Dana
--- "G&M Contracting Inc., Kenneth Gillilan"
<gmcontractinginc@...> wrote:
> >>>>I always let my kids chose for themselves, since----------------------------------------------------------------------------
> they
> on-demand breastfed (well, one still does at 6 you).
> Of course, when they were first trying new foods
> they
> didn't ask for cheetos, they just grabbed what was
> on
> my plate.>>>>>
>
> Dana,
> Please don't take offense to what I am about to
> say, but I never could
> understand the extended breastfeeding theory. I
> have four children and They
> were done breastfeeding at all around a 1-11/2
> years. I didn't choose for
> them to stop, but they became fidgety and annoyed
> with it. When the cup was
> introduced they just didn't want the restrictions
> that breastfeeding
> demanded(holding them while they were eating). I
> was in pain physically
> through my entire breastfeeding experience with my
> youngest and I won't be
> afraid to admit that I was relieved when he stopped.
> No matter what
> position or "trick" I used to get more comfortable
> it was like he was
> chewing on me and I would crack and bleed. I went
> through 15 months of
> torture, but I let him decide when he wanted to
> stop. I never took
> breastfeeding away from them, but I think personally
> I would be a little
> uncomfortable with my oldest son coming to me in the
> middle of a public
> gathering and asking to breastfeed. Truthfully I
> think it must be my own
> feeling of being uptight that get in the way. I was
> one of those moms who
> would hide to breastfeed even though I though it was
> a beautiful thing.
> Like I said I am not insulting your decision to
> extend breastfeeding
> pass the "norm", but I am curious as to your
> thoughts behind it.
>
> AnnMarie
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Dana Matt [mailto:hoffmanwilson@...]
> Sent: Thursday, June 03, 2004 5:47 PM
> To: [email protected]
> Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] I have a few more
> questions.
>
>
>
> --- doxielover84 <doxielover84@...> wrote:
> > Hi everyone.I have a few more questions.
> > 1)At what do you let the children regulate their
> > eating and tv
> > watching?
>
> I assume you mean "at what age"?
>
> I always let my kids chose for themselves, since
> they
> on-demand breastfed (well, one still does at 6
> yo).
> Of course, when they were first trying new foods
> they
> didn't ask for cheetos, they just grabbed what was
> on
> my plate.
>
> They have watched Barney and the like since
> forever as
> well, and have always walked/crawled away when
> they
> had had enough TV....Still do...
> Dana
> from Montana
>
>
>
>
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Betjeman and Barton Tea Merchants
Ahh Dana - you're a kindred spirit :-) My dd Brogan is still nursing at 4 1/2 and while some think it's odd, others are supportive. It's so nice to find others that are still out there BF and cherishing the special times that go with it.
Dana is right if I wasn't BF I'd probably think it strange to be BF such an 'old' child but when you never stop it's just natural. Seeing my dd cuddled up nursing and clearly enjoying it puts a smile on my face every time.
Karen - in Groton CT
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Dana is right if I wasn't BF I'd probably think it strange to be BF such an 'old' child but when you never stop it's just natural. Seeing my dd cuddled up nursing and clearly enjoying it puts a smile on my face every time.
Karen - in Groton CT
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Naturally Organic
My dd Brogan is still nursing
at 4 1/2 and while some think it's odd, others are supportive. It's so
nice to find others that are still out there BF and cherishing the
special times that go with it.
<<
Another extended nurser here. I am currently nursing a 3 yo, and a 10 mo. I have three older children. Two of them nursed till they were right around the age of five, and the other I'm not allowed to tell. ;-)
Tanya
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
at 4 1/2 and while some think it's odd, others are supportive. It's so
nice to find others that are still out there BF and cherishing the
special times that go with it.
<<
Another extended nurser here. I am currently nursing a 3 yo, and a 10 mo. I have three older children. Two of them nursed till they were right around the age of five, and the other I'm not allowed to tell. ;-)
Tanya
---------------------------------
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Joan Labbe & Salvatore Genovese
Hi AnnMarie,
As an extended breastfeeding Mom whose 5 1/2 yr old appears at this point to
have decided she's done the last few months, and who is still nursing a 3.4
yr old, I'd be happy to share my thoughts on this and personally I'm not
offended by your comments.
What I've found in examining my own experience and listening to the
experiences of many other breastfeeding moms is that everyone's experience
and everyone's kids needs are different, so I'm personally not all that big
on "extended breastfeeding theory" that is somehow supposed to apply to
everyone. What I can say is that my own experience has been that it has
felt important and fulfilling to me to meet the nursing needs of my kids,
who have expressed a tremendous need to nurse that has carried over until
they are older than what is the accepted societal norm here in the U.S.
(which you may be interested to know is much different than the norm in
other countries where the average weaning age is much higher and societal
acceptance of that much greater). Other than the usual soreness and pain at
the beginning of nursing, I have not experienced the ongoing pain that you
described - sometimes that type of pain is due to improper positioning or
improper latch on by the baby, but I do know that my sister experienced many
months of pain with the nursing of her first daughter even with a lot of
support and info on proper positioning and so forth from la leche and a
private nursing consultant, so partly I think that if you got the latch on
and positioning correct, then women's bodies are just different. Also,
babies nurse differently. My daughter was a polite kind of gentle nurser
and my son was a "barracuda" nurser who was much rougher and at one point
tore my nipple on one side in several places - so I did go through a lot of
different things with him teaching him to be more gentle, which he now is.
The benefits my kids get in my eyes with extended breastfeeding are they are
still getting the antibodies that help them not get sick from my breastmilk
(they have been insanely healthy), they are getting the incredible comfort
factor when they are scared or hurt, we all get the ongoing bonding benefits
of it, and it is a fabulous calming down tool which is such a benefit for
both them and me - my son is three now and we are going through many daily
tantrums over all that he wants to do exactly the way he wants it all by
himself when that doesn't happen - and "num num" is a way he can choose to
break the escalating cycle of upset, reconnect and regroup. Sometimes he
chooses other options, but it is his favorite one. There are also plenty of
kids that decide they are done quite early, and I wouldn't encourage my kids
to nurse past when they felt they were done! It is something I find I can
provide to them that they express to me that they need.
That said, I've been through several periods when I was tandem nursing both
of them, when I needed to honor and discuss my own needs with them and work
out limits to the nursing - when my nipple was torn and I was only nursing
on one side for a while I negotiated with my older one to nurse less since
it was a killer on my one breast that was functioning. And there was a
period when my son was one and my daughter was three and the combined amount
they wanted to nurse was more than I could handle. I decided it was more
important to try to nurse my daughter as long as she wanted, as opposed to
as much as she wanted right at that point, so I talked to her and we worked
out limits to her nursing until we got to the point where her demands were
not exceeding my ability to do it. I have seen my sister be unable to do
this with her daughter, resulting in her increased frustration and inability
to continue nursing at all, so I felt it was important to listen to my own
needs and figure out what would work best for all of us together, which at
that point was not my daughter nursing every time she wanted.
One last word on feeling embarrassed. We live in a culture in this country
that unfortunately fosters that feeling. I have battled it myself,
particularly as my kids have gotten older. I have realized that it was
important for me both to put the needs of my kids over my embarassment, but
also to try to do what I could to make that easier on myself. With an older
child asking to nurse in public, a lot of times you can negotiate for doing
it later unless it's an emergency. If my older child asked because she was
hurt or upset then I would nurse her on the spot, perhaps taking a minute to
find, if possible, a more private way to do it if that made me more
comfortable. I actually have not encountered that much disapproval of my
extended nursing, most of it has just been dealing with my own fear of that
which has gotten easier as time has gone on and I've logged in a lot of
nursing miles and surrounded myself with other like minded folks who have
made me feel comfortable.
Wow, that was long. You got me on one of my favorite subjects! Hope that
speaks to what you are wondering about...
Joan
-----Original Message-----
From: G&M Contracting Inc., Kenneth Gillilan
[mailto:gmcontractinginc@...]
Sent: Friday, June 04, 2004 6:53 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] I have a few more questions.
Of course, when they were first trying new foods they
didn't ask for cheetos, they just grabbed what was on
my plate.>>>>>
Dana,
Please don't take offense to what I am about to say, but I never could
understand the extended breastfeeding theory. I have four children and They
were done breastfeeding at all around a 1-11/2 years. I didn't choose for
them to stop, but they became fidgety and annoyed with it. When the cup was
introduced they just didn't want the restrictions that breastfeeding
demanded(holding them while they were eating). I was in pain physically
through my entire breastfeeding experience with my youngest and I won't be
afraid to admit that I was relieved when he stopped. No matter what
position or "trick" I used to get more comfortable it was like he was
chewing on me and I would crack and bleed. I went through 15 months of
torture, but I let him decide when he wanted to stop. I never took
breastfeeding away from them, but I think personally I would be a little
uncomfortable with my oldest son coming to me in the middle of a public
gathering and asking to breastfeed. Truthfully I think it must be my own
feeling of being uptight that get in the way. I was one of those moms who
would hide to breastfeed even though I though it was a beautiful thing.
Like I said I am not insulting your decision to extend breastfeeding
pass the "norm", but I am curious as to your thoughts behind it.
AnnMarie
As an extended breastfeeding Mom whose 5 1/2 yr old appears at this point to
have decided she's done the last few months, and who is still nursing a 3.4
yr old, I'd be happy to share my thoughts on this and personally I'm not
offended by your comments.
What I've found in examining my own experience and listening to the
experiences of many other breastfeeding moms is that everyone's experience
and everyone's kids needs are different, so I'm personally not all that big
on "extended breastfeeding theory" that is somehow supposed to apply to
everyone. What I can say is that my own experience has been that it has
felt important and fulfilling to me to meet the nursing needs of my kids,
who have expressed a tremendous need to nurse that has carried over until
they are older than what is the accepted societal norm here in the U.S.
(which you may be interested to know is much different than the norm in
other countries where the average weaning age is much higher and societal
acceptance of that much greater). Other than the usual soreness and pain at
the beginning of nursing, I have not experienced the ongoing pain that you
described - sometimes that type of pain is due to improper positioning or
improper latch on by the baby, but I do know that my sister experienced many
months of pain with the nursing of her first daughter even with a lot of
support and info on proper positioning and so forth from la leche and a
private nursing consultant, so partly I think that if you got the latch on
and positioning correct, then women's bodies are just different. Also,
babies nurse differently. My daughter was a polite kind of gentle nurser
and my son was a "barracuda" nurser who was much rougher and at one point
tore my nipple on one side in several places - so I did go through a lot of
different things with him teaching him to be more gentle, which he now is.
The benefits my kids get in my eyes with extended breastfeeding are they are
still getting the antibodies that help them not get sick from my breastmilk
(they have been insanely healthy), they are getting the incredible comfort
factor when they are scared or hurt, we all get the ongoing bonding benefits
of it, and it is a fabulous calming down tool which is such a benefit for
both them and me - my son is three now and we are going through many daily
tantrums over all that he wants to do exactly the way he wants it all by
himself when that doesn't happen - and "num num" is a way he can choose to
break the escalating cycle of upset, reconnect and regroup. Sometimes he
chooses other options, but it is his favorite one. There are also plenty of
kids that decide they are done quite early, and I wouldn't encourage my kids
to nurse past when they felt they were done! It is something I find I can
provide to them that they express to me that they need.
That said, I've been through several periods when I was tandem nursing both
of them, when I needed to honor and discuss my own needs with them and work
out limits to the nursing - when my nipple was torn and I was only nursing
on one side for a while I negotiated with my older one to nurse less since
it was a killer on my one breast that was functioning. And there was a
period when my son was one and my daughter was three and the combined amount
they wanted to nurse was more than I could handle. I decided it was more
important to try to nurse my daughter as long as she wanted, as opposed to
as much as she wanted right at that point, so I talked to her and we worked
out limits to her nursing until we got to the point where her demands were
not exceeding my ability to do it. I have seen my sister be unable to do
this with her daughter, resulting in her increased frustration and inability
to continue nursing at all, so I felt it was important to listen to my own
needs and figure out what would work best for all of us together, which at
that point was not my daughter nursing every time she wanted.
One last word on feeling embarrassed. We live in a culture in this country
that unfortunately fosters that feeling. I have battled it myself,
particularly as my kids have gotten older. I have realized that it was
important for me both to put the needs of my kids over my embarassment, but
also to try to do what I could to make that easier on myself. With an older
child asking to nurse in public, a lot of times you can negotiate for doing
it later unless it's an emergency. If my older child asked because she was
hurt or upset then I would nurse her on the spot, perhaps taking a minute to
find, if possible, a more private way to do it if that made me more
comfortable. I actually have not encountered that much disapproval of my
extended nursing, most of it has just been dealing with my own fear of that
which has gotten easier as time has gone on and I've logged in a lot of
nursing miles and surrounded myself with other like minded folks who have
made me feel comfortable.
Wow, that was long. You got me on one of my favorite subjects! Hope that
speaks to what you are wondering about...
Joan
-----Original Message-----
From: G&M Contracting Inc., Kenneth Gillilan
[mailto:gmcontractinginc@...]
Sent: Friday, June 04, 2004 6:53 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] I have a few more questions.
>>>>I always let my kids chose for themselves, since theyon-demand breastfed (well, one still does at 6 you).
Of course, when they were first trying new foods they
didn't ask for cheetos, they just grabbed what was on
my plate.>>>>>
Dana,
Please don't take offense to what I am about to say, but I never could
understand the extended breastfeeding theory. I have four children and They
were done breastfeeding at all around a 1-11/2 years. I didn't choose for
them to stop, but they became fidgety and annoyed with it. When the cup was
introduced they just didn't want the restrictions that breastfeeding
demanded(holding them while they were eating). I was in pain physically
through my entire breastfeeding experience with my youngest and I won't be
afraid to admit that I was relieved when he stopped. No matter what
position or "trick" I used to get more comfortable it was like he was
chewing on me and I would crack and bleed. I went through 15 months of
torture, but I let him decide when he wanted to stop. I never took
breastfeeding away from them, but I think personally I would be a little
uncomfortable with my oldest son coming to me in the middle of a public
gathering and asking to breastfeed. Truthfully I think it must be my own
feeling of being uptight that get in the way. I was one of those moms who
would hide to breastfeed even though I though it was a beautiful thing.
Like I said I am not insulting your decision to extend breastfeeding
pass the "norm", but I am curious as to your thoughts behind it.
AnnMarie
Dana Matt
With an older
weekend...Emma was tired, we were on vacation, and she
was trying to sit us and friends at a table...and we
just weren't doing it right, despite our best efforts,
and she just had a melt down...We were in a corner
booth, and after a lot of soothing and talking, the
"moo" was the only thing that was going to do the
trick...after a few minutes all was right with the
world and she went off to play for another hour with
the kids. So I say I don't nurse in public anymore,
but what I really mean is I have gotten more discrete
as she's gotten older...Although, I haven't had any
bad experiences, and actually until 5 yo she had two
friends her age that also nursed, and we would
sometimes just all hang out and nurse and play :)
Dana
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> child asking to nurse in public, a lot of times youI actually came up against this just this
> can negotiate for doing
> it later unless it's an emergency. If my older
> child asked because she was
> hurt or upset then I would nurse her on the spot,
> perhaps taking a minute to
> find, if possible, a more private way to do it if
> that made me more
> comfortable.
weekend...Emma was tired, we were on vacation, and she
was trying to sit us and friends at a table...and we
just weren't doing it right, despite our best efforts,
and she just had a melt down...We were in a corner
booth, and after a lot of soothing and talking, the
"moo" was the only thing that was going to do the
trick...after a few minutes all was right with the
world and she went off to play for another hour with
the kids. So I say I don't nurse in public anymore,
but what I really mean is I have gotten more discrete
as she's gotten older...Although, I haven't had any
bad experiences, and actually until 5 yo she had two
friends her age that also nursed, and we would
sometimes just all hang out and nurse and play :)
Dana
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Naturally Organic
I was in pain
physically
through my entire breastfeeding experience with my youngest and I won't
be
afraid to admit that I was relieved when he stopped. No matter what
position or "trick" I used to get more comfortable it was like he was
chewing on me and I would crack and bleed. I went through 15 months of
torture, but I let him decide when he wanted to stop<<
First, this is not normal. The first thing that jumps into my head is thrush. Thrush/yeast can be an insidious little creature, and one needn't have all the symptoms for it to be an issue. At any rate, I'm sorry you had to deal with pain your entire nursing experience with your youngest.
. I never took
breastfeeding away from them, but I think personally I would be a
little
uncomfortable with my oldest son coming to me in the middle of a public
gathering and asking to breastfeed. <<
Older kids don't commonly nurse frequently, and they can often understand waiting until one gets home, or to another place where there is more privacy. It is true that our culture doesn't really allow for nursing beyond a year. My 3 yo nurses every few days. He is easily distracted, i.e. he's nursing out of habit, is hungry, so asks to nurse. I offer food, and the nursing is forgotten. I think he nursed two days ago, I can't remember. My older child, at 3 years nursed a couple of times a day (if I remember right!). Even twice a day though isn't all that much.
Tanya
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
physically
through my entire breastfeeding experience with my youngest and I won't
be
afraid to admit that I was relieved when he stopped. No matter what
position or "trick" I used to get more comfortable it was like he was
chewing on me and I would crack and bleed. I went through 15 months of
torture, but I let him decide when he wanted to stop<<
First, this is not normal. The first thing that jumps into my head is thrush. Thrush/yeast can be an insidious little creature, and one needn't have all the symptoms for it to be an issue. At any rate, I'm sorry you had to deal with pain your entire nursing experience with your youngest.
. I never took
breastfeeding away from them, but I think personally I would be a
little
uncomfortable with my oldest son coming to me in the middle of a public
gathering and asking to breastfeed. <<
Older kids don't commonly nurse frequently, and they can often understand waiting until one gets home, or to another place where there is more privacy. It is true that our culture doesn't really allow for nursing beyond a year. My 3 yo nurses every few days. He is easily distracted, i.e. he's nursing out of habit, is hungry, so asks to nurse. I offer food, and the nursing is forgotten. I think he nursed two days ago, I can't remember. My older child, at 3 years nursed a couple of times a day (if I remember right!). Even twice a day though isn't all that much.
Tanya
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Wendy E
Great post....thanks goodness (saves me a post and your words are
much more elequent then I would have been able to come up with).
Wendy
Mommy to tandem/extended nursers Lucas (5) and Ethan (2)
--- In [email protected], "Joan Labbe & Salvatore
Genovese" <salgenovese@w...> wrote:
much more elequent then I would have been able to come up with).
Wendy
Mommy to tandem/extended nursers Lucas (5) and Ethan (2)
--- In [email protected], "Joan Labbe & Salvatore
Genovese" <salgenovese@w...> wrote:
> Hi AnnMarie,point to
>
> As an extended breastfeeding Mom whose 5 1/2 yr old appears at this
> have decided she's done the last few months, and who is stillnursing a 3.4
> yr old, I'd be happy to share my thoughts on this and personallyI'm not
> offended by your comments.
G&M Contracting Inc., Kenneth Gillilan
Dana,
I completely agree with you on the sweetness of breast feeding. Even
though I had been in pain for the 15 months that I nursed my youngest I
still cried when I realized that those days of snuggling were over. Thanks
so much for being open.
AnnMarie
-----Original Message-----
From: Dana Matt [mailto:hoffmanwilson@...]
Sent: Friday, June 04, 2004 10:44 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] I have a few more questions.
Well, world-wide, breastfeeding usually takes place
for 4-7 years. It's just here in the good ol' US
where we're freaked about our breasts that the average
is under a year.
I know it seems strange, if you haven't been there.
But when you never stop it never gets to be strange.
When she was 4, 6 sounded strange, but now it doesn't
;) She's just not done yet! And I'm one of these
brazen fling-a-breast-out-anywhere moms, sometimes two
;) so I'm sure that has something to do with it, but
really she and I haven't done much nursing in public
since she was about 3. It's just sweet time that we
spend together in bed in the morning and before we
fall asleep at night, and throughout the day when she
thinks of it, which over the years is less and less...
It's ok that you ask :)
Dana
--- "G&M Contracting Inc., Kenneth Gillilan"
<gmcontractinginc@...> wrote:
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I completely agree with you on the sweetness of breast feeding. Even
though I had been in pain for the 15 months that I nursed my youngest I
still cried when I realized that those days of snuggling were over. Thanks
so much for being open.
AnnMarie
-----Original Message-----
From: Dana Matt [mailto:hoffmanwilson@...]
Sent: Friday, June 04, 2004 10:44 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] I have a few more questions.
Well, world-wide, breastfeeding usually takes place
for 4-7 years. It's just here in the good ol' US
where we're freaked about our breasts that the average
is under a year.
I know it seems strange, if you haven't been there.
But when you never stop it never gets to be strange.
When she was 4, 6 sounded strange, but now it doesn't
;) She's just not done yet! And I'm one of these
brazen fling-a-breast-out-anywhere moms, sometimes two
;) so I'm sure that has something to do with it, but
really she and I haven't done much nursing in public
since she was about 3. It's just sweet time that we
spend together in bed in the morning and before we
fall asleep at night, and throughout the day when she
thinks of it, which over the years is less and less...
It's ok that you ask :)
Dana
--- "G&M Contracting Inc., Kenneth Gillilan"
<gmcontractinginc@...> wrote:
> >>>>I always let my kids chose for themselves, since--------------------------------------------------------------------------
> they
> on-demand breastfed (well, one still does at 6 you).
> Of course, when they were first trying new foods
> they
> didn't ask for cheetos, they just grabbed what was
> on
> my plate.>>>>>
>
> Dana,
> Please don't take offense to what I am about to
> say, but I never could
> understand the extended breastfeeding theory. I
> have four children and They
> were done breastfeeding at all around a 1-11/2
> years. I didn't choose for
> them to stop, but they became fidgety and annoyed
> with it. When the cup was
> introduced they just didn't want the restrictions
> that breastfeeding
> demanded(holding them while they were eating). I
> was in pain physically
> through my entire breastfeeding experience with my
> youngest and I won't be
> afraid to admit that I was relieved when he stopped.
> No matter what
> position or "trick" I used to get more comfortable
> it was like he was
> chewing on me and I would crack and bleed. I went
> through 15 months of
> torture, but I let him decide when he wanted to
> stop. I never took
> breastfeeding away from them, but I think personally
> I would be a little
> uncomfortable with my oldest son coming to me in the
> middle of a public
> gathering and asking to breastfeed. Truthfully I
> think it must be my own
> feeling of being uptight that get in the way. I was
> one of those moms who
> would hide to breastfeed even though I though it was
> a beautiful thing.
> Like I said I am not insulting your decision to
> extend breastfeeding
> pass the "norm", but I am curious as to your
> thoughts behind it.
>
> AnnMarie
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Dana Matt [mailto:hoffmanwilson@...]
> Sent: Thursday, June 03, 2004 5:47 PM
> To: [email protected]
> Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] I have a few more
> questions.
>
>
>
> --- doxielover84 <doxielover84@...> wrote:
> > Hi everyone.I have a few more questions.
> > 1)At what do you let the children regulate their
> > eating and tv
> > watching?
>
> I assume you mean "at what age"?
>
> I always let my kids chose for themselves, since
> they
> on-demand breastfed (well, one still does at 6
> yo).
> Of course, when they were first trying new foods
> they
> didn't ask for cheetos, they just grabbed what was
> on
> my plate.
>
> They have watched Barney and the like since
> forever as
> well, and have always walked/crawled away when
> they
> had had enough TV....Still do...
> Dana
> from Montana
>
>
>
>
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>
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> [Non-text portions of this message have been
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>
>
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
G&M Contracting Inc., Kenneth Gillilan
Tanya,
It wasn't thrush I was dealing with it was the fact that he was holding
his upper lip stiff. No matter how many times I would repositions or pull
the lip out he would stick it right back there and continue on. I would
blister and man-o-man was I sore.
I was just posting to Dana that even though I was in pain and relieved
when he stopped I also cried, because I was truly morning the loss of that
special cuddling. I know that if he would have wanted to keep breastfeeding
I would still be working through the pain to give him the closeness he and I
both needed.
AnnMarie
-----Original Message-----
From: Naturally Organic [mailto:naturallyorganic@...]
Sent: Friday, June 04, 2004 12:21 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] I have a few more questions.
I was in pain
physically
through my entire breastfeeding experience with my youngest and I won't
be
afraid to admit that I was relieved when he stopped. No matter what
position or "trick" I used to get more comfortable it was like he was
chewing on me and I would crack and bleed. I went through 15 months of
torture, but I let him decide when he wanted to stop<<
First, this is not normal. The first thing that jumps into my head is
thrush. Thrush/yeast can be an insidious little creature, and one needn't
have all the symptoms for it to be an issue. At any rate, I'm sorry you had
to deal with pain your entire nursing experience with your youngest.
. I never took
breastfeeding away from them, but I think personally I would be a
little
uncomfortable with my oldest son coming to me in the middle of a public
gathering and asking to breastfeed. <<
Older kids don't commonly nurse frequently, and they can often understand
waiting until one gets home, or to another place where there is more
privacy. It is true that our culture doesn't really allow for nursing beyond
a year. My 3 yo nurses every few days. He is easily distracted, i.e. he's
nursing out of habit, is hungry, so asks to nurse. I offer food, and the
nursing is forgotten. I think he nursed two days ago, I can't remember. My
older child, at 3 years nursed a couple of times a day (if I remember
right!). Even twice a day though isn't all that much.
Tanya
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
It wasn't thrush I was dealing with it was the fact that he was holding
his upper lip stiff. No matter how many times I would repositions or pull
the lip out he would stick it right back there and continue on. I would
blister and man-o-man was I sore.
I was just posting to Dana that even though I was in pain and relieved
when he stopped I also cried, because I was truly morning the loss of that
special cuddling. I know that if he would have wanted to keep breastfeeding
I would still be working through the pain to give him the closeness he and I
both needed.
AnnMarie
-----Original Message-----
From: Naturally Organic [mailto:naturallyorganic@...]
Sent: Friday, June 04, 2004 12:21 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] I have a few more questions.
I was in pain
physically
through my entire breastfeeding experience with my youngest and I won't
be
afraid to admit that I was relieved when he stopped. No matter what
position or "trick" I used to get more comfortable it was like he was
chewing on me and I would crack and bleed. I went through 15 months of
torture, but I let him decide when he wanted to stop<<
First, this is not normal. The first thing that jumps into my head is
thrush. Thrush/yeast can be an insidious little creature, and one needn't
have all the symptoms for it to be an issue. At any rate, I'm sorry you had
to deal with pain your entire nursing experience with your youngest.
. I never took
breastfeeding away from them, but I think personally I would be a
little
uncomfortable with my oldest son coming to me in the middle of a public
gathering and asking to breastfeed. <<
Older kids don't commonly nurse frequently, and they can often understand
waiting until one gets home, or to another place where there is more
privacy. It is true that our culture doesn't really allow for nursing beyond
a year. My 3 yo nurses every few days. He is easily distracted, i.e. he's
nursing out of habit, is hungry, so asks to nurse. I offer food, and the
nursing is forgotten. I think he nursed two days ago, I can't remember. My
older child, at 3 years nursed a couple of times a day (if I remember
right!). Even twice a day though isn't all that much.
Tanya
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
G&M Contracting Inc., Kenneth Gillilan
Joan,
Thank you so much for the explanation. I never was lucky enough to have
an extended nurser, but it sounds beautiful. Like I've already said in the
other posts it pained me to stop and I still miss it several months later.
AnnMarie
-----Original Message-----
From: Joan Labbe & Salvatore Genovese
[mailto:salgenovese@...]
Sent: Friday, June 04, 2004 11:34 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Extended Breastfeeding (was I have a few
Questions)
Hi AnnMarie,
As an extended breastfeeding Mom whose 5 1/2 yr old appears at this point
to
have decided she's done the last few months, and who is still nursing a
3.4
yr old, I'd be happy to share my thoughts on this and personally I'm not
offended by your comments.
What I've found in examining my own experience and listening to the
experiences of many other breastfeeding moms is that everyone's experience
and everyone's kids needs are different, so I'm personally not all that
big
on "extended breastfeeding theory" that is somehow supposed to apply to
everyone. What I can say is that my own experience has been that it has
felt important and fulfilling to me to meet the nursing needs of my kids,
who have expressed a tremendous need to nurse that has carried over until
they are older than what is the accepted societal norm here in the U.S.
(which you may be interested to know is much different than the norm in
other countries where the average weaning age is much higher and societal
acceptance of that much greater). Other than the usual soreness and pain
at
the beginning of nursing, I have not experienced the ongoing pain that you
described - sometimes that type of pain is due to improper positioning or
improper latch on by the baby, but I do know that my sister experienced
many
months of pain with the nursing of her first daughter even with a lot of
support and info on proper positioning and so forth from la leche and a
private nursing consultant, so partly I think that if you got the latch on
and positioning correct, then women's bodies are just different. Also,
babies nurse differently. My daughter was a polite kind of gentle nurser
and my son was a "barracuda" nurser who was much rougher and at one point
tore my nipple on one side in several places - so I did go through a lot
of
different things with him teaching him to be more gentle, which he now is.
The benefits my kids get in my eyes with extended breastfeeding are they
are
still getting the antibodies that help them not get sick from my
breastmilk
(they have been insanely healthy), they are getting the incredible comfort
factor when they are scared or hurt, we all get the ongoing bonding
benefits
of it, and it is a fabulous calming down tool which is such a benefit for
both them and me - my son is three now and we are going through many daily
tantrums over all that he wants to do exactly the way he wants it all by
himself when that doesn't happen - and "num num" is a way he can choose to
break the escalating cycle of upset, reconnect and regroup. Sometimes he
chooses other options, but it is his favorite one. There are also plenty
of
kids that decide they are done quite early, and I wouldn't encourage my
kids
to nurse past when they felt they were done! It is something I find I can
provide to them that they express to me that they need.
That said, I've been through several periods when I was tandem nursing
both
of them, when I needed to honor and discuss my own needs with them and
work
out limits to the nursing - when my nipple was torn and I was only nursing
on one side for a while I negotiated with my older one to nurse less since
it was a killer on my one breast that was functioning. And there was a
period when my son was one and my daughter was three and the combined
amount
they wanted to nurse was more than I could handle. I decided it was more
important to try to nurse my daughter as long as she wanted, as opposed to
as much as she wanted right at that point, so I talked to her and we
worked
out limits to her nursing until we got to the point where her demands were
not exceeding my ability to do it. I have seen my sister be unable to do
this with her daughter, resulting in her increased frustration and
inability
to continue nursing at all, so I felt it was important to listen to my own
needs and figure out what would work best for all of us together, which at
that point was not my daughter nursing every time she wanted.
One last word on feeling embarrassed. We live in a culture in this
country
that unfortunately fosters that feeling. I have battled it myself,
particularly as my kids have gotten older. I have realized that it was
important for me both to put the needs of my kids over my embarassment,
but
also to try to do what I could to make that easier on myself. With an
older
child asking to nurse in public, a lot of times you can negotiate for
doing
it later unless it's an emergency. If my older child asked because she
was
hurt or upset then I would nurse her on the spot, perhaps taking a minute
to
find, if possible, a more private way to do it if that made me more
comfortable. I actually have not encountered that much disapproval of my
extended nursing, most of it has just been dealing with my own fear of
that
which has gotten easier as time has gone on and I've logged in a lot of
nursing miles and surrounded myself with other like minded folks who have
made me feel comfortable.
Wow, that was long. You got me on one of my favorite subjects! Hope that
speaks to what you are wondering about...
Joan
-----Original Message-----
From: G&M Contracting Inc., Kenneth Gillilan
[mailto:gmcontractinginc@...]
Sent: Friday, June 04, 2004 6:53 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] I have a few more questions.
Of course, when they were first trying new foods they
didn't ask for cheetos, they just grabbed what was on
my plate.>>>>>
Dana,
Please don't take offense to what I am about to say, but I never could
understand the extended breastfeeding theory. I have four children and
They
were done breastfeeding at all around a 1-11/2 years. I didn't choose for
them to stop, but they became fidgety and annoyed with it. When the cup
was
introduced they just didn't want the restrictions that breastfeeding
demanded(holding them while they were eating). I was in pain physically
through my entire breastfeeding experience with my youngest and I won't be
afraid to admit that I was relieved when he stopped. No matter what
position or "trick" I used to get more comfortable it was like he was
chewing on me and I would crack and bleed. I went through 15 months of
torture, but I let him decide when he wanted to stop. I never took
breastfeeding away from them, but I think personally I would be a little
uncomfortable with my oldest son coming to me in the middle of a public
gathering and asking to breastfeed. Truthfully I think it must be my own
feeling of being uptight that get in the way. I was one of those moms who
would hide to breastfeed even though I though it was a beautiful thing.
Like I said I am not insulting your decision to extend breastfeeding
pass the "norm", but I am curious as to your thoughts behind it.
AnnMarie
Yahoo! Groups Sponsor
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Thank you so much for the explanation. I never was lucky enough to have
an extended nurser, but it sounds beautiful. Like I've already said in the
other posts it pained me to stop and I still miss it several months later.
AnnMarie
-----Original Message-----
From: Joan Labbe & Salvatore Genovese
[mailto:salgenovese@...]
Sent: Friday, June 04, 2004 11:34 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Extended Breastfeeding (was I have a few
Questions)
Hi AnnMarie,
As an extended breastfeeding Mom whose 5 1/2 yr old appears at this point
to
have decided she's done the last few months, and who is still nursing a
3.4
yr old, I'd be happy to share my thoughts on this and personally I'm not
offended by your comments.
What I've found in examining my own experience and listening to the
experiences of many other breastfeeding moms is that everyone's experience
and everyone's kids needs are different, so I'm personally not all that
big
on "extended breastfeeding theory" that is somehow supposed to apply to
everyone. What I can say is that my own experience has been that it has
felt important and fulfilling to me to meet the nursing needs of my kids,
who have expressed a tremendous need to nurse that has carried over until
they are older than what is the accepted societal norm here in the U.S.
(which you may be interested to know is much different than the norm in
other countries where the average weaning age is much higher and societal
acceptance of that much greater). Other than the usual soreness and pain
at
the beginning of nursing, I have not experienced the ongoing pain that you
described - sometimes that type of pain is due to improper positioning or
improper latch on by the baby, but I do know that my sister experienced
many
months of pain with the nursing of her first daughter even with a lot of
support and info on proper positioning and so forth from la leche and a
private nursing consultant, so partly I think that if you got the latch on
and positioning correct, then women's bodies are just different. Also,
babies nurse differently. My daughter was a polite kind of gentle nurser
and my son was a "barracuda" nurser who was much rougher and at one point
tore my nipple on one side in several places - so I did go through a lot
of
different things with him teaching him to be more gentle, which he now is.
The benefits my kids get in my eyes with extended breastfeeding are they
are
still getting the antibodies that help them not get sick from my
breastmilk
(they have been insanely healthy), they are getting the incredible comfort
factor when they are scared or hurt, we all get the ongoing bonding
benefits
of it, and it is a fabulous calming down tool which is such a benefit for
both them and me - my son is three now and we are going through many daily
tantrums over all that he wants to do exactly the way he wants it all by
himself when that doesn't happen - and "num num" is a way he can choose to
break the escalating cycle of upset, reconnect and regroup. Sometimes he
chooses other options, but it is his favorite one. There are also plenty
of
kids that decide they are done quite early, and I wouldn't encourage my
kids
to nurse past when they felt they were done! It is something I find I can
provide to them that they express to me that they need.
That said, I've been through several periods when I was tandem nursing
both
of them, when I needed to honor and discuss my own needs with them and
work
out limits to the nursing - when my nipple was torn and I was only nursing
on one side for a while I negotiated with my older one to nurse less since
it was a killer on my one breast that was functioning. And there was a
period when my son was one and my daughter was three and the combined
amount
they wanted to nurse was more than I could handle. I decided it was more
important to try to nurse my daughter as long as she wanted, as opposed to
as much as she wanted right at that point, so I talked to her and we
worked
out limits to her nursing until we got to the point where her demands were
not exceeding my ability to do it. I have seen my sister be unable to do
this with her daughter, resulting in her increased frustration and
inability
to continue nursing at all, so I felt it was important to listen to my own
needs and figure out what would work best for all of us together, which at
that point was not my daughter nursing every time she wanted.
One last word on feeling embarrassed. We live in a culture in this
country
that unfortunately fosters that feeling. I have battled it myself,
particularly as my kids have gotten older. I have realized that it was
important for me both to put the needs of my kids over my embarassment,
but
also to try to do what I could to make that easier on myself. With an
older
child asking to nurse in public, a lot of times you can negotiate for
doing
it later unless it's an emergency. If my older child asked because she
was
hurt or upset then I would nurse her on the spot, perhaps taking a minute
to
find, if possible, a more private way to do it if that made me more
comfortable. I actually have not encountered that much disapproval of my
extended nursing, most of it has just been dealing with my own fear of
that
which has gotten easier as time has gone on and I've logged in a lot of
nursing miles and surrounded myself with other like minded folks who have
made me feel comfortable.
Wow, that was long. You got me on one of my favorite subjects! Hope that
speaks to what you are wondering about...
Joan
-----Original Message-----
From: G&M Contracting Inc., Kenneth Gillilan
[mailto:gmcontractinginc@...]
Sent: Friday, June 04, 2004 6:53 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] I have a few more questions.
>>>>I always let my kids chose for themselves, since theyon-demand breastfed (well, one still does at 6 you).
Of course, when they were first trying new foods they
didn't ask for cheetos, they just grabbed what was on
my plate.>>>>>
Dana,
Please don't take offense to what I am about to say, but I never could
understand the extended breastfeeding theory. I have four children and
They
were done breastfeeding at all around a 1-11/2 years. I didn't choose for
them to stop, but they became fidgety and annoyed with it. When the cup
was
introduced they just didn't want the restrictions that breastfeeding
demanded(holding them while they were eating). I was in pain physically
through my entire breastfeeding experience with my youngest and I won't be
afraid to admit that I was relieved when he stopped. No matter what
position or "trick" I used to get more comfortable it was like he was
chewing on me and I would crack and bleed. I went through 15 months of
torture, but I let him decide when he wanted to stop. I never took
breastfeeding away from them, but I think personally I would be a little
uncomfortable with my oldest son coming to me in the middle of a public
gathering and asking to breastfeed. Truthfully I think it must be my own
feeling of being uptight that get in the way. I was one of those moms who
would hide to breastfeed even though I though it was a beautiful thing.
Like I said I am not insulting your decision to extend breastfeeding
pass the "norm", but I am curious as to your thoughts behind it.
AnnMarie
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Wendy E
Oh...and I was refering to Joan's post when I said great post...it's
one of my fave subjects too.
--- In [email protected], "Wendy E" <mommytoluc@y...>
wrote:
one of my fave subjects too.
--- In [email protected], "Wendy E" <mommytoluc@y...>
wrote:
> Great post....thanks goodness (saves me a post and your words arethis
> much more elequent then I would have been able to come up with).
>
> Wendy
> Mommy to tandem/extended nursers Lucas (5) and Ethan (2)
>
> --- In [email protected], "Joan Labbe & Salvatore
> Genovese" <salgenovese@w...> wrote:
> > Hi AnnMarie,
> >
> > As an extended breastfeeding Mom whose 5 1/2 yr old appears at
> point to
> > have decided she's done the last few months, and who is still
> nursing a 3.4
> > yr old, I'd be happy to share my thoughts on this and personally
> I'm not
> > offended by your comments.