Nasty comments
Momma
I'm hoping you all might have some suggestions about how to work through this---
My 11 years old son makes the most nasty comments to people he doesn't like. When I have talked to him about this he says he doesn't care. He doesn't like them so he'll say whatever he wants to them. Unfortunately, a couple of the people he dislikes and makes nasty comments to are the mothers of his friends (these mothers are my friends as well). When it is just our family he is the kindest, most loving person you would ever meet. I enjoy being around him so much. Even to strangers he is courtious and kind and never hesitates to run to the aid of someone who needs help. But when we are around people he doesn't care for I always have a knot in my stomach and can't relax and enjoy myself because I'm afraid of what he is going to say. I'm not even sure what approach to take.
I would appreciate any input you have.
Thanks, Aubrey
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My 11 years old son makes the most nasty comments to people he doesn't like. When I have talked to him about this he says he doesn't care. He doesn't like them so he'll say whatever he wants to them. Unfortunately, a couple of the people he dislikes and makes nasty comments to are the mothers of his friends (these mothers are my friends as well). When it is just our family he is the kindest, most loving person you would ever meet. I enjoy being around him so much. Even to strangers he is courtious and kind and never hesitates to run to the aid of someone who needs help. But when we are around people he doesn't care for I always have a knot in my stomach and can't relax and enjoy myself because I'm afraid of what he is going to say. I'm not even sure what approach to take.
I would appreciate any input you have.
Thanks, Aubrey
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
carenkh
What do you (or they) define as "nasty comments"? Can you give
examples? Just asking, 'cause I know different people have different
thresholds. My mother thought my oldest, when he was 2, made a nasty
comment to her when he told her "no" when she asked if he wanted
juice. [automaton voice]...children...should...never...say....no..... LOL
Caren
examples? Just asking, 'cause I know different people have different
thresholds. My mother thought my oldest, when he was 2, made a nasty
comment to her when he told her "no" when she asked if he wanted
juice. [automaton voice]...children...should...never...say....no..... LOL
Caren
wisdomalways5
I would discuss with him that if he does not want to keep his
replies to him self maybe he could stay home or go do something he
wants to do while you visit with the moms.
WHY- does he feel the need to insult his "friends" parents who are
also your friends. Does he wish that he friends parents were not
your friends or is he trying to prove that he can say whatever he
wants to his friends and parents?
If you were not going to go visit with these moms and he asks why
not you could respond that "it is too uncomfortable to wonder if you
are going to say something insulting so I am going to stay home"
Perhaps these kids are really not people HE wants to be friends with
and hopes that with enough insults you will not assume he is friends.
just some thoughts
JulieH
--- In [email protected], "Momma"
<southernbelle@...> wrote:
doesn't care. He doesn't like them so he'll say whatever he wants to
them. Unfortunately, a couple of the people he dislikes and makes
nasty comments to are the mothers of his friends (these mothers are
my friends as well). When it is just our family he is the kindest,
most loving person you would ever meet. I enjoy being around him so
much. Even to strangers he is courtious and kind and never hesitates
to run to the aid of someone who needs help. But when we are around
people he doesn't care for I always have a knot in my stomach and
can't relax and enjoy myself because I'm afraid of what he is going
to say. I'm not even sure what approach to take.
replies to him self maybe he could stay home or go do something he
wants to do while you visit with the moms.
WHY- does he feel the need to insult his "friends" parents who are
also your friends. Does he wish that he friends parents were not
your friends or is he trying to prove that he can say whatever he
wants to his friends and parents?
If you were not going to go visit with these moms and he asks why
not you could respond that "it is too uncomfortable to wonder if you
are going to say something insulting so I am going to stay home"
Perhaps these kids are really not people HE wants to be friends with
and hopes that with enough insults you will not assume he is friends.
just some thoughts
JulieH
--- In [email protected], "Momma"
<southernbelle@...> wrote:
>through this---
> I'm hoping you all might have some suggestions about how to work
> My 11 years old son makes the most nasty comments to people hedoesn't like. When I have talked to him about this he says he
doesn't care. He doesn't like them so he'll say whatever he wants to
them. Unfortunately, a couple of the people he dislikes and makes
nasty comments to are the mothers of his friends (these mothers are
my friends as well). When it is just our family he is the kindest,
most loving person you would ever meet. I enjoy being around him so
much. Even to strangers he is courtious and kind and never hesitates
to run to the aid of someone who needs help. But when we are around
people he doesn't care for I always have a knot in my stomach and
can't relax and enjoy myself because I'm afraid of what he is going
to say. I'm not even sure what approach to take.
> I would appreciate any input you have.
> Thanks, Aubrey
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>