Kristi Nelson

Hello!

My dd has expressed to me that she would like to "do school" again. We
have been deschooling since April of this year, homeschooling for 3
1/2 years. She said she feels she is being lazy.

Any suggestions on how to approach this? I would like for this to be
her choice and remain as unschooling as possible. I don't want to go
back to purchasing a set curriculum and plodding along with me saying
do this and that. She hasn't expressed any interests in outside
classes or workshops. We haven't had much luck with any we have tried
in the past.

I told her to think about what "doing school" means to her. She really
only knows about school at home and public school. We do not have any
unschooling friends. I told her she was really in charge of what she
learns. I was just here to guide her and help her get what she needs.
She said that it was kind of scary knowing she was in charge of her
education.

I need some guidance from all you experienced unschoolers. Any input
would be greatly appreciated!

Kristi

Kristi Nelson

My dd is 13! Sorry, I forgot to include that.

Kristi

--- In [email protected], "Kristi Nelson"
<knelson732003@...> wrote:
>
> Hello!
>
> My dd has expressed to me that she would like to "do school" again. We
> have been deschooling since April of this year, homeschooling for 3
> 1/2 years. She said she feels she is being lazy.
>
> Any suggestions on how to approach this? I would like for this to be
> her choice and remain as unschooling as possible. I don't want to go
> back to purchasing a set curriculum and plodding along with me saying
> do this and that. She hasn't expressed any interests in outside
> classes or workshops. We haven't had much luck with any we have tried
> in the past.
>
> I told her to think about what "doing school" means to her. She really
> only knows about school at home and public school. We do not have any
> unschooling friends. I told her she was really in charge of what she
> learns. I was just here to guide her and help her get what she needs.
> She said that it was kind of scary knowing she was in charge of her
> education.
>
> I need some guidance from all you experienced unschoolers. Any input
> would be greatly appreciated!
>
> Kristi
>

marji

>At 14:32 11/8/2007, you wrote:
> I told her she was really in charge of what she
>learns. I was just here to guide her and help her get what she needs.
>She said that it was kind of scary knowing she was in charge of her
>education.

Eeek!!! I can see what her concern is. She's 13 years old and has
always been a passenger in the vehicle, and now all of a sudden
you're telling her that *she's* driving the car!!! Whoa!!!!! That's
scary! I'd want to pull over and get out just as fast as possible, too!

It may be as simple as you being more proactive and involved in her
unschooling life. What is she interested in? What does she
like? Doesn't have to be classes or workshops. It could be
*any*thing, knitting, making spitballs, hiking, anything at
all. But, be with her as she fully explores her passions *with* you,
not with you just standing by in case she needs you. If she feels
she's not in charge so much but more partners with you, that may be
more reassuring to her.

In our society, kids hear way too much "get an education" propaganda,
and it affects them! If she thinks she responsible for her own
education and she screws it up, that's too much intense
responsibility. If you can shoulder some of that for her, she can
get back to the business of living her life, knowing *you're* in
charge, not her.

Also, since you don't have unschoolers in your life, gather lots of
anecdotes for her of other unschoolers who are doing well and living
their lives successfully and strew that information for her (in other
words, don't ram it down her throat, just make the information
available to her).

I hope that helps a little!

~Marji




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Kristi Nelson

> It may be as simple as you being more proactive and involved in her
> unschooling life. What is she interested in? What does she
> like? Doesn't have to be classes or workshops. It could be
> *any*thing, knitting, making spitballs, hiking, anything at
> all. But, be with her as she fully explores her passions *with* you,
> not with you just standing by in case she needs you. If she feels
> she's not in charge so much but more partners with you, that may be
> more reassuring to her.

She has been keeping busy reading books, drawing, learning web design
and computer illustration. She knows what her passions are.

>
> In our society, kids hear way too much "get an education" propaganda,
> and it affects them! If she thinks she responsible for her own
> education and she screws it up, that's too much intense
> responsibility. If you can shoulder some of that for her, she can
> get back to the business of living her life, knowing *you're* in
> charge, not her.

I think, or know, she is still getting used to the idea that you do
not have to use an Algebra book to learn Algebra. You can if you want.
I have shouldered it all of it for her the last 3 years and she didn't
like it. She needs to feel in control and not pushed. That is why we
went the unschooling route. I don't believe the "in charge" part is
scaring her. She just doesn't know any other way besides me telling
her this is what you should learn. That is where I need some guidance.
How do I guide her?

We talked a little more tonight about what she was feeling. She said
she feels like she should be doing something. I told her that reading,
drawing, teaching herself to create web pages and draw on the computer
are doing something. I think some of this is coming from her school
friends who are talking to her about their school work. She has
brought it up a couple times that they have a writing assignment or
Biology homework.

Does anybody have any suggestions? I think she has reached a
transition period in her unschooling and needs to know what to do. I
am not sure what that is.

Kristi

Pamela Sorooshian

On Nov 8, 2007, at 5:03 PM, Kristi Nelson wrote:

> She just doesn't know any other way besides me telling
> her this is what you should learn. That is where I need some guidance.
> How do I guide her?

I think you might benefit from reading "The Teenage Liberation
Handbook" - I'm thinking of the last half of the book which is all
filled with ideas of ways to learn all kinds of things.

-pam



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