swearing, was What's your unschooling story?
[email protected]
<<So, whatever words DS hears us say, he is free to say (which makes for a
strong
incentive to ONLY use words we'd be comfortable with DS saying to his
grandparents lol). >>
Dh and I swear sometimes at home, but neither of the kids choose to, at
least around us, even though we've told them they can. They both even go out of
their way to avoid it, like they'll say "bleeeep" when they're reading
something aloud from a book, or they'll explain something someone said by telling
me what the word rhymes with. (They say they're not offended by our swearing,
and that we're not as bad as South Park. lol)
The information we've given them about swearing is that some people are
offended by it or might think less of you for it, so it's tricky because if you
don't want to offend or repel certain people in certain situations you have to
figure out who's who, and learn when to turn it on and off, which even I
have difficulty doing. My son, who's 12, has created own policy of "don't swear
until sworn to" with his friends, which he says helps keep himself out of
trouble with other kids' parents. He say he just doesn't want to swear around
us.
My dd who's 11 doesn't swear because she says that it would probably sound
weird to adults coming from a kid, like how to her, if her four-year old
cousin swore it'd be a bit shocking.
So I'm curious what other swear-ers out there do, and what "results" you're
getting.
Patty
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
strong
incentive to ONLY use words we'd be comfortable with DS saying to his
grandparents lol). >>
Dh and I swear sometimes at home, but neither of the kids choose to, at
least around us, even though we've told them they can. They both even go out of
their way to avoid it, like they'll say "bleeeep" when they're reading
something aloud from a book, or they'll explain something someone said by telling
me what the word rhymes with. (They say they're not offended by our swearing,
and that we're not as bad as South Park. lol)
The information we've given them about swearing is that some people are
offended by it or might think less of you for it, so it's tricky because if you
don't want to offend or repel certain people in certain situations you have to
figure out who's who, and learn when to turn it on and off, which even I
have difficulty doing. My son, who's 12, has created own policy of "don't swear
until sworn to" with his friends, which he says helps keep himself out of
trouble with other kids' parents. He say he just doesn't want to swear around
us.
My dd who's 11 doesn't swear because she says that it would probably sound
weird to adults coming from a kid, like how to her, if her four-year old
cousin swore it'd be a bit shocking.
So I'm curious what other swear-ers out there do, and what "results" you're
getting.
Patty
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
marji
At 12:33 11/8/2007, you wrote:
Liam, 12 years of age, they're just words and we (Liam's dad and I)
don't judge him at all for the words he uses, but other folks might,
and so we recommended that he be mindful of that. He does like to
swear with his friends, and I'm quite frankly amazed (and, in fact, a
little honored) at how they all feel pretty comfortable to speak,
shall we say, freely in my presence.
language get in the way our relationship.
Marji ;)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>The information we've given them about swearing is that some people areThat's pretty much how we've approached the whole thing. We've told
>offended by it or might think less of you for it, so it's tricky
>because if you
>don't want to offend or repel certain people in certain
>situations you have to
>figure out who's who, and learn when to turn it on and off, which even I
>have difficulty doing.
Liam, 12 years of age, they're just words and we (Liam's dad and I)
don't judge him at all for the words he uses, but other folks might,
and so we recommended that he be mindful of that. He does like to
swear with his friends, and I'm quite frankly amazed (and, in fact, a
little honored) at how they all feel pretty comfortable to speak,
shall we say, freely in my presence.
>My son, who's 12, has created own policy of "don't swearThat's very cool.
>until sworn to" with his friends, which he says helps keep himself out of
>trouble with other kids' parents. He say he just doesn't want to
>swear around
>us.
>So I'm curious what other swear-ers out there do, and what "results" you'reI'm really !@#$%^& glad we don't let something as superficial as
>getting.
language get in the way our relationship.
Marji ;)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Deb
--- In [email protected], pattywithawhy@... wrote:
as an acquired habit which went bye bye pretty quickly somewhere
around senior year as the professional 'real world' got closer. What
really annoys me is not the particular words but the folks who
simply have no other words to use "It was, like, f***in, y'know,
like, f***in crazy on the highway" We've got a zillion words in
English to convey all sorts of shadings of emotion and situation
(except we're way short on words related to love - Greek has 4 to
differentiate between the type of the love whether it's mom or
spouse or whatever) and I think they should get at least equal use
to the "expletives" because, yeah, sometimes only those will do.
But, using it every other word, to me, really waters things down.
For example, I work with some folks who use f***in day in and day
out. But when I named a variable in a program fntoolbar my boss knew
PRECISELY how aggravated I was because I don't habitually use that.
Oh, and when DS was aggravated at the double standard for kids and
adults, he decided what would work best is for us to all just use
food words if we needed to express something strongly - Oh popcorn!
or Hot chocolate!! or whatever. That way it was 'safe' for him to
say around others. I thought it was a pretty creative solution he
came up with, even though, as noted, he could say whatever he heard
us say (typically fairly mild).
--Deb
>what "results" >you're
> So I'm curious what other swear-ers out there do, and
> getting.I wil say that I went through a "Swearing phase" in college mostly
>
as an acquired habit which went bye bye pretty quickly somewhere
around senior year as the professional 'real world' got closer. What
really annoys me is not the particular words but the folks who
simply have no other words to use "It was, like, f***in, y'know,
like, f***in crazy on the highway" We've got a zillion words in
English to convey all sorts of shadings of emotion and situation
(except we're way short on words related to love - Greek has 4 to
differentiate between the type of the love whether it's mom or
spouse or whatever) and I think they should get at least equal use
to the "expletives" because, yeah, sometimes only those will do.
But, using it every other word, to me, really waters things down.
For example, I work with some folks who use f***in day in and day
out. But when I named a variable in a program fntoolbar my boss knew
PRECISELY how aggravated I was because I don't habitually use that.
Oh, and when DS was aggravated at the double standard for kids and
adults, he decided what would work best is for us to all just use
food words if we needed to express something strongly - Oh popcorn!
or Hot chocolate!! or whatever. That way it was 'safe' for him to
say around others. I thought it was a pretty creative solution he
came up with, even though, as noted, he could say whatever he heard
us say (typically fairly mild).
--Deb
[email protected]
<< He does like to swear with his friends, and I'm quite frankly amazed (and,
in fact, a
little honored) at how they all feel pretty comfortable to speak,
shall we say, freely in my presence.>>
See, now I think *that's* cool. I have to admit I feel a little twinge of
hurt when they *won't* swear in front of me. They do talk to me about all kinds
of things though, so I don't take it as a sign that they're trying to cut me
out of their lives or anything.
Funny how there are so many parents out there "demanding" respect. Here I
get a little bit and I don't even appreciate it. <g>
Patty
To support me in helping the orphanages of Baja, Mexico, visit
_Patty's Corazon de Vida Orphans of Baja Pledge Page_
(http://www.active.com/donate/cdvholiday/pattyhunt)
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
in fact, a
little honored) at how they all feel pretty comfortable to speak,
shall we say, freely in my presence.>>
See, now I think *that's* cool. I have to admit I feel a little twinge of
hurt when they *won't* swear in front of me. They do talk to me about all kinds
of things though, so I don't take it as a sign that they're trying to cut me
out of their lives or anything.
Funny how there are so many parents out there "demanding" respect. Here I
get a little bit and I don't even appreciate it. <g>
Patty
To support me in helping the orphanages of Baja, Mexico, visit
_Patty's Corazon de Vida Orphans of Baja Pledge Page_
(http://www.active.com/donate/cdvholiday/pattyhunt)
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
<<Of course, now I think of it, if anyone has any resources to point us
in for learning Japanese swear words, we'd be ever grateful!>>
You may have already come across this. I found it a while ago when ds was
interested in Japanese. It has some slang, but not much swearing.
Yale Anime Society's 100 Most Essential Words in Anime:
_http://users.tmok.com/~tumble/amfaqs/101glos.html_
(http://users.tmok.com/~tumble/amfaqs/101glos.html)
-Patty
To support me in helping the orphanages of Baja, Mexico, visit
_Patty's Corazon de Vida Orphans of Baja Pledge Page_
(http://www.active.com/donate/cdvholiday/pattyhunt)
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
in for learning Japanese swear words, we'd be ever grateful!>>
You may have already come across this. I found it a while ago when ds was
interested in Japanese. It has some slang, but not much swearing.
Yale Anime Society's 100 Most Essential Words in Anime:
_http://users.tmok.com/~tumble/amfaqs/101glos.html_
(http://users.tmok.com/~tumble/amfaqs/101glos.html)
-Patty
To support me in helping the orphanages of Baja, Mexico, visit
_Patty's Corazon de Vida Orphans of Baja Pledge Page_
(http://www.active.com/donate/cdvholiday/pattyhunt)
************************************** See what's new at http://www.aol.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: pattywithawhy@...
So I'm curious what other swear-ers out there do, and what "results"
you're
getting.
-=-=-=-=
I swear like a sailor and have been known as a potty mouth. When I
write (which is exactly how I speak), I have to go back and delete
certain words that might offend this list.
But I keep it under-wraps when I take the dog to the retirement home.
<g> I keep it down when I'm at a christening. <g> I try pretty hard
when I'm public speaking (that's harder because when I get going about
something I'm passionate about,....). <g>
I LIKE colorful language. A LOT. Well, I like *language* a lot. And,
while I agree that words are powerful, I think that when people *give*
power to certain words by making them..."dirty" or "bad" or
"profane"---that gives them a...::different::...kind of power. Not a
good kind.
Words are just words. And even "acceptable" words can be a lot meaner
than "bad" words depending on how we say them.
In that u-tube clip of the mom screaming a week's worth of orders at
her kids, she ends with "I love you"---but it didn't sound very loving.
Around here, no words are off-limits, but the boys know when and where
some words are inappropriate to use. THAT is what I think is important.
My neice (six at the time) once told me that she wasn't allowed to
watch Rugrats because they use the "S word." Now, I racked my brain
trying to figure out WHEN Tommy said "shit"---I mean..puhleeze! It's
RUGRATS! I asked her, and it took quite a while to pull it out of her.
"You know---the "S
word'''---Sssssssss....ssssstt...sssstttttoooooo...sssssttttoooooooooopid
," as her eyes darted around to make sure no one else heard her say it.
Stupid is NOT a bad word. It can certainly be unkind if you *call*
someone stupid. It can be unkind to call someone "pretty" too if it's
meant derogatorily!
My nephew (cousin, not brother of the neice) got his mouth washed out
with soap a while back. His mother was laughing as she told Ben that
she did it. He asked where Patrick had heard the word, his mom said
probably from her. I asked whether she washed her own damned mouth out
then. She quit laughing. *I* was the bully then.
Making *some* words "grown-up words" makes them all the more attractive
to children who really want to be as grown up as they can be. Making
*all* words acceptable and accessible and knowing when to use them is a
much better skill to have.
The only word we don't use around here is the "C word"......Curriculum.
<g>
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
Email and AIM finally together. You've gotta check out free AOL Mail! -
http://mail.aol.com
From: pattywithawhy@...
So I'm curious what other swear-ers out there do, and what "results"
you're
getting.
-=-=-=-=
I swear like a sailor and have been known as a potty mouth. When I
write (which is exactly how I speak), I have to go back and delete
certain words that might offend this list.
But I keep it under-wraps when I take the dog to the retirement home.
<g> I keep it down when I'm at a christening. <g> I try pretty hard
when I'm public speaking (that's harder because when I get going about
something I'm passionate about,....). <g>
I LIKE colorful language. A LOT. Well, I like *language* a lot. And,
while I agree that words are powerful, I think that when people *give*
power to certain words by making them..."dirty" or "bad" or
"profane"---that gives them a...::different::...kind of power. Not a
good kind.
Words are just words. And even "acceptable" words can be a lot meaner
than "bad" words depending on how we say them.
In that u-tube clip of the mom screaming a week's worth of orders at
her kids, she ends with "I love you"---but it didn't sound very loving.
Around here, no words are off-limits, but the boys know when and where
some words are inappropriate to use. THAT is what I think is important.
My neice (six at the time) once told me that she wasn't allowed to
watch Rugrats because they use the "S word." Now, I racked my brain
trying to figure out WHEN Tommy said "shit"---I mean..puhleeze! It's
RUGRATS! I asked her, and it took quite a while to pull it out of her.
"You know---the "S
word'''---Sssssssss....ssssstt...sssstttttoooooo...sssssttttoooooooooopid
," as her eyes darted around to make sure no one else heard her say it.
Stupid is NOT a bad word. It can certainly be unkind if you *call*
someone stupid. It can be unkind to call someone "pretty" too if it's
meant derogatorily!
My nephew (cousin, not brother of the neice) got his mouth washed out
with soap a while back. His mother was laughing as she told Ben that
she did it. He asked where Patrick had heard the word, his mom said
probably from her. I asked whether she washed her own damned mouth out
then. She quit laughing. *I* was the bully then.
Making *some* words "grown-up words" makes them all the more attractive
to children who really want to be as grown up as they can be. Making
*all* words acceptable and accessible and knowing when to use them is a
much better skill to have.
The only word we don't use around here is the "C word"......Curriculum.
<g>
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
Email and AIM finally together. You've gotta check out free AOL Mail! -
http://mail.aol.com
Melissa
Okay, the vision of Ms Kelly swearing like a sailor is one I can
hardly create in my head...lol!
I also have a potty mouth. But I've stopped looking at it like that,
I am just really passionate and my emotions need BIG EFFECTIVE words
to feel right to me. And I look at my kids the exact same way. They
see that I have places I don't use it (so much) and places where it
is more okay, and I think they follow along for the most part. My
oldest is very uncomfortable with using ANY word with emotion, so
he'll tell me so if I let out a big loud cuss word. My husband was
also raised in a household where no cussing was allowed, and he's
really uncomfortable with it. We've worked really hard for him to
realize that the kids are their own people, and that he can't choose
for them. He does model more socially acceptable communication, but
doesn't get on to them anymore unless we are at weddings or funerals.
My favorite story is a few months ago at Target, Dan was really
upset. And he turned to me and said very loudly (as only a four year
old can, i think) "MOM! That really PISSES ME OFF!" Dead silence from
around us, everyone staring to see what my reaction would be
(obviously I would beat him, yes?) Looks of shock when all I said was
"I can tell you're really angry, really really really angry! What can
we do?" bwahahaha. (For the record, he wanted toy that was over $100
right before payday...can you say cashless? His solution was to pick
out a $1 toy and then write me a letter reminding me to buy it when
we had enough money. Not bad, eh?)
Kelly, thanks for the story about the nephew. We had a similar issue
at our in-laws house last time we visited. Josh got killed off in a
boss stage, really after a lot of work without saving, and he said
quickly and savagely under his breath "damn!" Boy, there was tattling
all over the place as every one of our nephews and nieces went to
their particular parent to tell on him. Everyone looked at me and all
i could think was how each one of those hypocritical adults had
probably cussed at least twice since the family gathering began! I
shrugged and said something like he's probably pretty upset, at least
it's not road rage.
Melissa
Mom to Josh (12), Breanna (10), Emily (8), Rachel (7), Sam (6), Dan
(4), and Avari Rose (19 months)
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
hardly create in my head...lol!
I also have a potty mouth. But I've stopped looking at it like that,
I am just really passionate and my emotions need BIG EFFECTIVE words
to feel right to me. And I look at my kids the exact same way. They
see that I have places I don't use it (so much) and places where it
is more okay, and I think they follow along for the most part. My
oldest is very uncomfortable with using ANY word with emotion, so
he'll tell me so if I let out a big loud cuss word. My husband was
also raised in a household where no cussing was allowed, and he's
really uncomfortable with it. We've worked really hard for him to
realize that the kids are their own people, and that he can't choose
for them. He does model more socially acceptable communication, but
doesn't get on to them anymore unless we are at weddings or funerals.
My favorite story is a few months ago at Target, Dan was really
upset. And he turned to me and said very loudly (as only a four year
old can, i think) "MOM! That really PISSES ME OFF!" Dead silence from
around us, everyone staring to see what my reaction would be
(obviously I would beat him, yes?) Looks of shock when all I said was
"I can tell you're really angry, really really really angry! What can
we do?" bwahahaha. (For the record, he wanted toy that was over $100
right before payday...can you say cashless? His solution was to pick
out a $1 toy and then write me a letter reminding me to buy it when
we had enough money. Not bad, eh?)
Kelly, thanks for the story about the nephew. We had a similar issue
at our in-laws house last time we visited. Josh got killed off in a
boss stage, really after a lot of work without saving, and he said
quickly and savagely under his breath "damn!" Boy, there was tattling
all over the place as every one of our nephews and nieces went to
their particular parent to tell on him. Everyone looked at me and all
i could think was how each one of those hypocritical adults had
probably cussed at least twice since the family gathering began! I
shrugged and said something like he's probably pretty upset, at least
it's not road rage.
Melissa
Mom to Josh (12), Breanna (10), Emily (8), Rachel (7), Sam (6), Dan
(4), and Avari Rose (19 months)
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
On Nov 19, 2007, at 9:30 AM, kbcdlovejo@... wrote:
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: pattywithawhy@...
>
> So I'm curious what other swear-ers out there do, and what "results"
> you're
> getting.
>
> -=-=-=-=
>
> I swear like a sailor and have been known as a potty mouth. When I
> write (which is exactly how I speak), I have to go back and delete
> certain words that might offend this list.
>
> But I keep it under-wraps when I take the dog to the retirement home.
> <g> I keep it down when I'm at a christening. <g> I try pretty hard
> when I'm public speaking (that's harder because when I get going about
> something I'm passionate about,....). <g>
>
> I LIKE colorful language. A LOT. Well, I like *language* a lot. And,
> while I agree that words are powerful, I think that when people *give*
> power to certain words by making them..."dirty" or "bad" or
> "profane"---that gives them a...::different::...kind of power. Not a
> good kind.
>
> Words are just words. And even "acceptable" words can be a lot meaner
> than "bad" words depending on how we say them.
>
> In that u-tube clip of the mom screaming a week's worth of orders at
> her kids, she ends with "I love you"---but it didn't sound very
> loving.
>
> Around here, no words are off-limits, but the boys know when and where
> some words are inappropriate to use. THAT is what I think is
> important.
>
> My neice (six at the time) once told me that she wasn't allowed to
> watch Rugrats because they use the "S word." Now, I racked my brain
> trying to figure out WHEN Tommy said "shit"---I mean..puhleeze! It's
> RUGRATS! I asked her, and it took quite a while to pull it out of her.
> "You know---the "S
> word'''---
> Sssssssss....ssssstt...sssstttttoooooo...sssssttttoooooooooopid
> ," as her eyes darted around to make sure no one else heard her say
> it.
>
> Stupid is NOT a bad word. It can certainly be unkind if you *call*
> someone stupid. It can be unkind to call someone "pretty" too if it's
> meant derogatorily!
>
> My nephew (cousin, not brother of the neice) got his mouth washed out
> with soap a while back. His mother was laughing as she told Ben that
> she did it. He asked where Patrick had heard the word, his mom said
> probably from her. I asked whether she washed her own damned mouth out
> then. She quit laughing. *I* was the bully then.
>
> Making *some* words "grown-up words" makes them all the more
> attractive
> to children who really want to be as grown up as they can be. Making
> *all* words acceptable and accessible and knowing when to use them
> is a
> much better skill to have.
>
> The only word we don't use around here is the "C
> word"......Curriculum.
> <g>
>
> ~Kelly
>
> Kelly Lovejoy
> Conference Coordinator
> Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
> http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
>
> __________________________________________________________
> Email and AIM finally together. You've gotta check out free AOL
> Mail! -
> http://mail.aol.com
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: Melissa <autismhelp@...>
Okay, the vision of Ms Kelly swearing like a sailor is one I can
hardly create in my head...lol!
-=-=-
Uh...anyone who's spent some time with me want to chime in? Ren? Gail?
Rue? Kathryn? Kelli? <bwg>
~Sailor Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
Email and AIM finally together. You've gotta check out free AOL Mail! -
http://mail.aol.com
From: Melissa <autismhelp@...>
Okay, the vision of Ms Kelly swearing like a sailor is one I can
hardly create in my head...lol!
-=-=-
Uh...anyone who's spent some time with me want to chime in? Ren? Gail?
Rue? Kathryn? Kelli? <bwg>
~Sailor Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org
________________________________________________________________________
Email and AIM finally together. You've gotta check out free AOL Mail! -
http://mail.aol.com
Rue Kream
>>Uh...anyone who's spent some time with me want to chime in? Ren? Gail?Rue? Kathryn? Kelli? <bwg>
**Kelly and I can put any sailor to shame - Kelly just does it with a
much cuter accent :o). ~Rue
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Stacey
OMG, I just about fell off my chair laughing!!
BTW, the other "c" word is about the only one that's off limits here
too.....I swear heaps yet I still get shocked when people say C***!!!!!!
Stacey in NZ
See us @ www.climbingthefarawaytree.blogspot.com
BTW, the other "c" word is about the only one that's off limits here
too.....I swear heaps yet I still get shocked when people say C***!!!!!!
Stacey in NZ
See us @ www.climbingthefarawaytree.blogspot.com
--- In [email protected], kbcdlovejo@... wrote:
>
> The only word we don't use around here is the "C
word"......Curriculum.
> <g>
>
> ~Kelly
>
Ren Allen
~~Uh...anyone who's spent some time with me want to chime in? Ren? Gail?
Rue? Kathryn? Kelli? <bwg>~~
Um..when Kelly and I hang out, the F bomb gets dropped frequently
enough.:) I held my breath when we did our talk together. She only
dropped a Goddamn that time. phew...
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Rue? Kathryn? Kelli? <bwg>~~
Um..when Kelly and I hang out, the F bomb gets dropped frequently
enough.:) I held my breath when we did our talk together. She only
dropped a Goddamn that time. phew...
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Susan
> Um..when Kelly and I hang out, the F bomb gets dropped frequentlyHey, I *knew* there was a reason I want to hang out with you all!
> enough.:) I held my breath when we did our talk together. She only
> dropped a Goddamn that time. phew...
One day when my son was three I was in the kitchen juggling a dozen
things when he asked for a cookie. After putting him off a few minutes
so I could make sure dinner wasn't burnt to a crisp he finally got
exasperated, climbed up on the counter and yelled, "I want an f'ing
cookie!!"
Both of my kids learned how to swear properly from an early age. You
gotta have priorities, you know.
~ Susan
Karen Buxcel
Stacey,
Try watching the Vagina Monologues (w/ Eve Ensler). You'll never look at
the "c" word as being off-limits again! You'll CLAIM it! ;)
Just watch it, you'll understand!
Grinning ear to ear,
Karen
http://www.thewildtribe.blogspot.com
--
"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know
peace."
Jimi Hendrix
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Try watching the Vagina Monologues (w/ Eve Ensler). You'll never look at
the "c" word as being off-limits again! You'll CLAIM it! ;)
Just watch it, you'll understand!
Grinning ear to ear,
Karen
http://www.thewildtribe.blogspot.com
--
"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know
peace."
Jimi Hendrix
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