Nittany Lion

Do you fascilitate in any way arguments bw your kids? I usually tell them
to work it out themselves - I seem to make is worse when I interfere - even
if to just calm them down.

Dawn

Joanne

--- In [email protected], Nittany Lion <dsweeney@...>
wrote: Do you fascilitate in any way arguments bw your kids? I usually
tell them to work it out themselves - I seem to make is worse when I
interfere - even if to just calm them down. Dawn>>>>

Hi Dawn,

How old are your kids? That would be an important factor in this
situation. If they're real young, maybe just some redirection would work
in the heat of the moment and then talking about it later on when the
moment has passed and everyone is calm.

My kids are older so when they have a conflict, I help them through it
if they can't come to a solution. In the beginning when we first adopted
them they had poor problem solving skills so I was there, helping them
work things out, but they're able to do more and more of that on their
own now, using skills they've learned over the last four years with
us.

Also...a big realization for me was what I was modeling. I really looked
at how my husband & I handled conflict and we made some changes there
also.

To expect a child to know how to work out conflict without help is
unrealistic. Even those of us who know how to do it sometimes need help.
You said that you feel like you make it worse. Maybe you could try a
different approach. Don't look at it as "interfering". Look at it as
being involved and connecting with your kids. Maybe tell that what
worked for you in that situation. Maybe validate more and try to fix
less.

*** Joanne ***

http://anunschoolinglife.blogspot.com/
<http://anunschoolinglife.blogspot.com/>








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