new & learning about different learning styles
Debi
Hey everyone, I'm Debi. I have 3 daughters, 10, 8, and 5. My 10 yr old
has been private schooled, public schooled ,home schooled, then back
to public. Essentially, she LOVES public school. My 8 year old has
autism and we've had our battles each year, she's in second grade. My
5yr old is in public school kindergarten & LOVING it. I'm strongly
leaning toward pulling my 8 yr old to homeschool.
Here's my biggest fear. When we tried homeschooling with Jessica, she
HATED it. She was so lonely. She never wants to homeschool again.
Fine, what ever works. Allie, my 8 yr old, is a major struggle with
school. She's very smart academically but has the typical issues
associated with autism, auditory sensitivity, difficulty following
directions, etc. She pretty much wants to do her art all day long, a
new obsession of her's in the last 6 mos or so. Each year I feel like
I have to teach the teachers all over again. I don't blame them, they
get the royal screw by administration each year.
I'm also in college for my BSN. I have 2 1/2 yrs until finished.
Barring something major, hubby & I feel I should try to keep her in
school until I'm finished so I can work part-time if need-be to pay
off the student loans I have incurred. I've also dreamed of having an
autism clinic (my goal is to be a family nurse practitioner focusing
on DAN! protocols) & Allie can come work with me as she gets older, if
she wants. All that said, if I felt we truly needed to, I'd quit
school tomorrow & keep her home.
Back to my fear. I fear pulling out Allie and her hating it. I know I
can always send her back, but we can't do a to school home again every
few weeks every time she gets stressed, which is a common problem with
her. How do I overcome this fear/guilt if she seems to miss school?
Let me also say, she can talk but has limited abilities to express
herself, so I think this is part of my fear, too.
Thanks for any thoughts. I'm trying to really research & prepare
myself now so that we can be ready if/when the time comes.
Debi
has been private schooled, public schooled ,home schooled, then back
to public. Essentially, she LOVES public school. My 8 year old has
autism and we've had our battles each year, she's in second grade. My
5yr old is in public school kindergarten & LOVING it. I'm strongly
leaning toward pulling my 8 yr old to homeschool.
Here's my biggest fear. When we tried homeschooling with Jessica, she
HATED it. She was so lonely. She never wants to homeschool again.
Fine, what ever works. Allie, my 8 yr old, is a major struggle with
school. She's very smart academically but has the typical issues
associated with autism, auditory sensitivity, difficulty following
directions, etc. She pretty much wants to do her art all day long, a
new obsession of her's in the last 6 mos or so. Each year I feel like
I have to teach the teachers all over again. I don't blame them, they
get the royal screw by administration each year.
I'm also in college for my BSN. I have 2 1/2 yrs until finished.
Barring something major, hubby & I feel I should try to keep her in
school until I'm finished so I can work part-time if need-be to pay
off the student loans I have incurred. I've also dreamed of having an
autism clinic (my goal is to be a family nurse practitioner focusing
on DAN! protocols) & Allie can come work with me as she gets older, if
she wants. All that said, if I felt we truly needed to, I'd quit
school tomorrow & keep her home.
Back to my fear. I fear pulling out Allie and her hating it. I know I
can always send her back, but we can't do a to school home again every
few weeks every time she gets stressed, which is a common problem with
her. How do I overcome this fear/guilt if she seems to miss school?
Let me also say, she can talk but has limited abilities to express
herself, so I think this is part of my fear, too.
Thanks for any thoughts. I'm trying to really research & prepare
myself now so that we can be ready if/when the time comes.
Debi
Meredith
Well, this is an unschooling board, not a general homeschooling
board, so I'm going to give you some very "unschooly" answers!
--- In [email protected], "Debi"
<fightingautism@...> wrote:
and learning - your dd is passionate about art. Fabulous! does she
draw, paint, build, sew? Learning to see her as passionate (rather
than obsessive) will help you to connect with her and support her.
I have one child who is currently passionate about making all manner
of things out of paper and will spend whole days cutting and taping.
The other is passionate about online role-playing games and spends
hours on the computer every day. In the process of perusing their
passions, they learn about all sorts of things - from economics to
anatomy.
passions and so make homeschooling even less interesting and more
stressful than school. If you are doing everything you can to
support your dd and her passions, she's unlikely to hate being home.
Kids interests and needs vary alot. My gamer is really really
social - that's why he likes the online games, he gets to chat with
other people the whole time. Living in the middle of nowhere, as we
do, its a handy way for him to meet *some* of his social needs on a
regular basis. But we also need to do other things all the time to
support his need to socialize with other people. We're constantly
looking for other ways for him to do that that he'll enjoy. Its a
lot of work! But its not lesson-planning sorts of work, its going to
parties and events and planning get-togethers and networking and
trying new coffee-houses - not the easiest kind of work for a couple
introverts, but we manage.
My paper-artist is much more the introvert, but very active. We're
always looking for new things to do, climb, spin, roll, tackle and
swing from. All of that on a very low income, besides. Today I'm
hoping to go to an event with stilt-walkers so she can see what that
looks like irl - descriptions and pictures aren't cutting the
mustard. Again, its lots of work, but it doesn't look anything
like "teaching". More like managing a circus - complete with
costumes made entirely of paper ;)
And again, all of these things are sources of learning for my kids.
There's no separation between art and science and reading and fun.
Its all learning, all the time, here!
until about a year ago - and yet an important part of unschooling is
learning to communicate with our children. In some ways, that was an
advantage for me, bc I didn't have the luxury of "explaining" things
to her - I had to do a lot of careful watching and striving to
understand what was going on with Mo so I could help her get her
needs met without a whole lot of words. My older kid is really
really verbal, so it was easy, when he was younger especially, to
fall into the habit of "telling" him things and thinking that
was "communication". Oops. Kids - all kids - need us to listen and
watch and learn to understand them. Whole life unschooling assumes
that to be the Most Important part of parenting (and hence
unschooling itself).
---Meredith (Mo 6, Ray 14)
board, so I'm going to give you some very "unschooly" answers!
--- In [email protected], "Debi"
<fightingautism@...> wrote:
>> She pretty much wants to do her art all day long, aIts helpful to think of our kids as being passionate about living
> new obsession of her's in the last 6 mos or so.
and learning - your dd is passionate about art. Fabulous! does she
draw, paint, build, sew? Learning to see her as passionate (rather
than obsessive) will help you to connect with her and support her.
I have one child who is currently passionate about making all manner
of things out of paper and will spend whole days cutting and taping.
The other is passionate about online role-playing games and spends
hours on the computer every day. In the process of perusing their
passions, they learn about all sorts of things - from economics to
anatomy.
> Back to my fear. I fear pulling out Allie and her hating it.Kids hate homeschool when parents don't support them and their
passions and so make homeschooling even less interesting and more
stressful than school. If you are doing everything you can to
support your dd and her passions, she's unlikely to hate being home.
Kids interests and needs vary alot. My gamer is really really
social - that's why he likes the online games, he gets to chat with
other people the whole time. Living in the middle of nowhere, as we
do, its a handy way for him to meet *some* of his social needs on a
regular basis. But we also need to do other things all the time to
support his need to socialize with other people. We're constantly
looking for other ways for him to do that that he'll enjoy. Its a
lot of work! But its not lesson-planning sorts of work, its going to
parties and events and planning get-togethers and networking and
trying new coffee-houses - not the easiest kind of work for a couple
introverts, but we manage.
My paper-artist is much more the introvert, but very active. We're
always looking for new things to do, climb, spin, roll, tackle and
swing from. All of that on a very low income, besides. Today I'm
hoping to go to an event with stilt-walkers so she can see what that
looks like irl - descriptions and pictures aren't cutting the
mustard. Again, its lots of work, but it doesn't look anything
like "teaching". More like managing a circus - complete with
costumes made entirely of paper ;)
And again, all of these things are sources of learning for my kids.
There's no separation between art and science and reading and fun.
Its all learning, all the time, here!
> Let me also say, she can talk but has limited abilities to expressMy younger child wasn't very interested in verbal communication
> herself, so I think this is part of my fear, too.
until about a year ago - and yet an important part of unschooling is
learning to communicate with our children. In some ways, that was an
advantage for me, bc I didn't have the luxury of "explaining" things
to her - I had to do a lot of careful watching and striving to
understand what was going on with Mo so I could help her get her
needs met without a whole lot of words. My older kid is really
really verbal, so it was easy, when he was younger especially, to
fall into the habit of "telling" him things and thinking that
was "communication". Oops. Kids - all kids - need us to listen and
watch and learn to understand them. Whole life unschooling assumes
that to be the Most Important part of parenting (and hence
unschooling itself).
---Meredith (Mo 6, Ray 14)
Kelly Weyd
Debi,
I will try and get to this post a little later. I've got company coming, but I would love to chat a bit. So later tonight I'll get back on the computer and post a bit. I've got a daughter on the spectrum so I'll tell you a little bit about us, and what is working for us.
Kelly
Debi <fightingautism@...> wrote:
Hey everyone, I'm Debi. I have 3 daughters, 10, 8, and 5. My 10 yr old
has been private schooled, public schooled ,home schooled, then back
to public. Essentially, she LOVES public school. My 8 year old has
autism and we've had our battles each year, she's in second grade. My
5yr old is in public school kindergarten & LOVING it. I'm strongly
leaning toward pulling my 8 yr old to homeschool.
Here's my biggest fear. When we tried homeschooling with Jessica, she
HATED it. She was so lonely. She never wants to homeschool again.
Fine, what ever works. Allie, my 8 yr old, is a major struggle with
school. She's very smart academically but has the typical issues
associated with autism, auditory sensitivity, difficulty following
directions, etc. She pretty much wants to do her art all day long, a
new obsession of her's in the last 6 mos or so. Each year I feel like
I have to teach the teachers all over again. I don't blame them, they
get the royal screw by administration each year.
I'm also in college for my BSN. I have 2 1/2 yrs until finished.
Barring something major, hubby & I feel I should try to keep her in
school until I'm finished so I can work part-time if need-be to pay
off the student loans I have incurred. I've also dreamed of having an
autism clinic (my goal is to be a family nurse practitioner focusing
on DAN! protocols) & Allie can come work with me as she gets older, if
she wants. All that said, if I felt we truly needed to, I'd quit
school tomorrow & keep her home.
Back to my fear. I fear pulling out Allie and her hating it. I know I
can always send her back, but we can't do a to school home again every
few weeks every time she gets stressed, which is a common problem with
her. How do I overcome this fear/guilt if she seems to miss school?
Let me also say, she can talk but has limited abilities to express
herself, so I think this is part of my fear, too.
Thanks for any thoughts. I'm trying to really research & prepare
myself now so that we can be ready if/when the time comes.
Debi
---------------------------------
Check out the hottest 2008 models today at Yahoo! Autos.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I will try and get to this post a little later. I've got company coming, but I would love to chat a bit. So later tonight I'll get back on the computer and post a bit. I've got a daughter on the spectrum so I'll tell you a little bit about us, and what is working for us.
Kelly
Debi <fightingautism@...> wrote:
Hey everyone, I'm Debi. I have 3 daughters, 10, 8, and 5. My 10 yr old
has been private schooled, public schooled ,home schooled, then back
to public. Essentially, she LOVES public school. My 8 year old has
autism and we've had our battles each year, she's in second grade. My
5yr old is in public school kindergarten & LOVING it. I'm strongly
leaning toward pulling my 8 yr old to homeschool.
Here's my biggest fear. When we tried homeschooling with Jessica, she
HATED it. She was so lonely. She never wants to homeschool again.
Fine, what ever works. Allie, my 8 yr old, is a major struggle with
school. She's very smart academically but has the typical issues
associated with autism, auditory sensitivity, difficulty following
directions, etc. She pretty much wants to do her art all day long, a
new obsession of her's in the last 6 mos or so. Each year I feel like
I have to teach the teachers all over again. I don't blame them, they
get the royal screw by administration each year.
I'm also in college for my BSN. I have 2 1/2 yrs until finished.
Barring something major, hubby & I feel I should try to keep her in
school until I'm finished so I can work part-time if need-be to pay
off the student loans I have incurred. I've also dreamed of having an
autism clinic (my goal is to be a family nurse practitioner focusing
on DAN! protocols) & Allie can come work with me as she gets older, if
she wants. All that said, if I felt we truly needed to, I'd quit
school tomorrow & keep her home.
Back to my fear. I fear pulling out Allie and her hating it. I know I
can always send her back, but we can't do a to school home again every
few weeks every time she gets stressed, which is a common problem with
her. How do I overcome this fear/guilt if she seems to miss school?
Let me also say, she can talk but has limited abilities to express
herself, so I think this is part of my fear, too.
Thanks for any thoughts. I'm trying to really research & prepare
myself now so that we can be ready if/when the time comes.
Debi
---------------------------------
Check out the hottest 2008 models today at Yahoo! Autos.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kelly Weyd
I am so tired so I hope who knows how long I will last on this computer tonight. Debi, have you checked out Sandradodd.com or JoyfullyRejoicing.com. Those are two really great sites that help explain Unschooling and gives you a bit of info. about the Unschooling Philosophy etc.
Why did your daughter hate homeschooling? Why was she loney?
I ask these questions because if my girls hated something about our days together (and they do occasionally) then I would change what they hated. I would offer them something different. Since I am an Unschooler I let my girls "drive the bus" so to speak. They decide what they are going to learn and I do my best to make it happen. For instance my 9 year old is obsessed with birds.......it's her passion, she loves it, and it's important to her. We set up multiple bird feeders right outside our sunroom windows. Uncle Scott got her binoculars. Cousin Tara bought her a bird guide book. I have let her check out EVERY single bird book at our local library. I have bought her other bird books. She draws and takes pictures of birds. She writes in her journal about birds. She has a bird feather collection. She knows more about birds than anyone I know. This is where the the TRUE learning has come in. I have not forced her to sit down, tried to shove some boring
curriculum on her that she finds no value in. She has found value in birds, and we have FLOWN with it. Hey, did you all catch the little funny in that, LOL. Just seeing if anyone is still reading or awake.
Also if my girls were loney then I would find a way around that too. We go to homeschooling park days, playdates, etc. etc. In fact sometimes we do so much of that we need to stay home and rest. Oh, and also if your daughter loves school, I certainly am not saying she should be at home. Even Unschoolers I think would agree that if the child chooses school, finds it right for their own lives, and loves it then that is where the child should be.
My other daughter is 7. She has NLD, ADHD, SPD and TS. When she was in public school, the sensory issues were just a complete nightmare for her. She would come home everyday and have a complete meltdown, sometimes screaming, punching and kicking walls for hours. Schools are not great places for children with sensory issues. Something as simple as those flourescent lights humming can drive them into a meltdown. If you feel in your heart it's the right thing to do, bring her home. It's the best thing I ever did for both of my girls. Also how does she feel about it?
Also I am fascinated with the whole DAN protocols. I have always felt Mariah, my 7 year old, is holding heavy metals......mainly mercury. I have never had a blood or hair test done on her, but according to our Homeopath heavy metals are her main issues. I've felt for a long time that this child needs Chelation. But I keep hearing how expensive it is, and well we just don't have that kind of money. I have heard you can do chelation on your own child, but I have very limited knowledge on the subject and well I would not take a chance with something like that. A person could end up harming their child instead of helping.
By the way, I was absolutely shaking the day I pulled both of my girls out of school. I thought, OH, what have I gotten myself into? And my 9 year old is the one who begged me to homeschool her. She hated school! She did NOT want to be there. I am so glad I listened to her, and brought both girls home. Good Luck with your decision.
Kelly
Kelly Weyd <kellmar98@...> wrote:
Debi,
I will try and get to this post a little later. I've got company coming, but I would love to chat a bit. So later tonight I'll get back on the computer and post a bit. I've got a daughter on the spectrum so I'll tell you a little bit about us, and what is working for us.
Kelly
Debi <fightingautism@...> wrote:
Hey everyone, I'm Debi. I have 3 daughters, 10, 8, and 5. My 10 yr old
has been private schooled, public schooled ,home schooled, then back
to public. Essentially, she LOVES public school. My 8 year old has
autism and we've had our battles each year, she's in second grade. My
5yr old is in public school kindergarten & LOVING it. I'm strongly
leaning toward pulling my 8 yr old to homeschool.
Here's my biggest fear. When we tried homeschooling with Jessica, she
HATED it. She was so lonely. She never wants to homeschool again.
Fine, what ever works. Allie, my 8 yr old, is a major struggle with
school. She's very smart academically but has the typical issues
associated with autism, auditory sensitivity, difficulty following
directions, etc. She pretty much wants to do her art all day long, a
new obsession of her's in the last 6 mos or so. Each year I feel like
I have to teach the teachers all over again. I don't blame them, they
get the royal screw by administration each year.
I'm also in college for my BSN. I have 2 1/2 yrs until finished.
Barring something major, hubby & I feel I should try to keep her in
school until I'm finished so I can work part-time if need-be to pay
off the student loans I have incurred. I've also dreamed of having an
autism clinic (my goal is to be a family nurse practitioner focusing
on DAN! protocols) & Allie can come work with me as she gets older, if
she wants. All that said, if I felt we truly needed to, I'd quit
school tomorrow & keep her home.
Back to my fear. I fear pulling out Allie and her hating it. I know I
can always send her back, but we can't do a to school home again every
few weeks every time she gets stressed, which is a common problem with
her. How do I overcome this fear/guilt if she seems to miss school?
Let me also say, she can talk but has limited abilities to express
herself, so I think this is part of my fear, too.
Thanks for any thoughts. I'm trying to really research & prepare
myself now so that we can be ready if/when the time comes.
Debi
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Why did your daughter hate homeschooling? Why was she loney?
I ask these questions because if my girls hated something about our days together (and they do occasionally) then I would change what they hated. I would offer them something different. Since I am an Unschooler I let my girls "drive the bus" so to speak. They decide what they are going to learn and I do my best to make it happen. For instance my 9 year old is obsessed with birds.......it's her passion, she loves it, and it's important to her. We set up multiple bird feeders right outside our sunroom windows. Uncle Scott got her binoculars. Cousin Tara bought her a bird guide book. I have let her check out EVERY single bird book at our local library. I have bought her other bird books. She draws and takes pictures of birds. She writes in her journal about birds. She has a bird feather collection. She knows more about birds than anyone I know. This is where the the TRUE learning has come in. I have not forced her to sit down, tried to shove some boring
curriculum on her that she finds no value in. She has found value in birds, and we have FLOWN with it. Hey, did you all catch the little funny in that, LOL. Just seeing if anyone is still reading or awake.
Also if my girls were loney then I would find a way around that too. We go to homeschooling park days, playdates, etc. etc. In fact sometimes we do so much of that we need to stay home and rest. Oh, and also if your daughter loves school, I certainly am not saying she should be at home. Even Unschoolers I think would agree that if the child chooses school, finds it right for their own lives, and loves it then that is where the child should be.
My other daughter is 7. She has NLD, ADHD, SPD and TS. When she was in public school, the sensory issues were just a complete nightmare for her. She would come home everyday and have a complete meltdown, sometimes screaming, punching and kicking walls for hours. Schools are not great places for children with sensory issues. Something as simple as those flourescent lights humming can drive them into a meltdown. If you feel in your heart it's the right thing to do, bring her home. It's the best thing I ever did for both of my girls. Also how does she feel about it?
Also I am fascinated with the whole DAN protocols. I have always felt Mariah, my 7 year old, is holding heavy metals......mainly mercury. I have never had a blood or hair test done on her, but according to our Homeopath heavy metals are her main issues. I've felt for a long time that this child needs Chelation. But I keep hearing how expensive it is, and well we just don't have that kind of money. I have heard you can do chelation on your own child, but I have very limited knowledge on the subject and well I would not take a chance with something like that. A person could end up harming their child instead of helping.
By the way, I was absolutely shaking the day I pulled both of my girls out of school. I thought, OH, what have I gotten myself into? And my 9 year old is the one who begged me to homeschool her. She hated school! She did NOT want to be there. I am so glad I listened to her, and brought both girls home. Good Luck with your decision.
Kelly
Kelly Weyd <kellmar98@...> wrote:
Debi,
I will try and get to this post a little later. I've got company coming, but I would love to chat a bit. So later tonight I'll get back on the computer and post a bit. I've got a daughter on the spectrum so I'll tell you a little bit about us, and what is working for us.
Kelly
Debi <fightingautism@...> wrote:
Hey everyone, I'm Debi. I have 3 daughters, 10, 8, and 5. My 10 yr old
has been private schooled, public schooled ,home schooled, then back
to public. Essentially, she LOVES public school. My 8 year old has
autism and we've had our battles each year, she's in second grade. My
5yr old is in public school kindergarten & LOVING it. I'm strongly
leaning toward pulling my 8 yr old to homeschool.
Here's my biggest fear. When we tried homeschooling with Jessica, she
HATED it. She was so lonely. She never wants to homeschool again.
Fine, what ever works. Allie, my 8 yr old, is a major struggle with
school. She's very smart academically but has the typical issues
associated with autism, auditory sensitivity, difficulty following
directions, etc. She pretty much wants to do her art all day long, a
new obsession of her's in the last 6 mos or so. Each year I feel like
I have to teach the teachers all over again. I don't blame them, they
get the royal screw by administration each year.
I'm also in college for my BSN. I have 2 1/2 yrs until finished.
Barring something major, hubby & I feel I should try to keep her in
school until I'm finished so I can work part-time if need-be to pay
off the student loans I have incurred. I've also dreamed of having an
autism clinic (my goal is to be a family nurse practitioner focusing
on DAN! protocols) & Allie can come work with me as she gets older, if
she wants. All that said, if I felt we truly needed to, I'd quit
school tomorrow & keep her home.
Back to my fear. I fear pulling out Allie and her hating it. I know I
can always send her back, but we can't do a to school home again every
few weeks every time she gets stressed, which is a common problem with
her. How do I overcome this fear/guilt if she seems to miss school?
Let me also say, she can talk but has limited abilities to express
herself, so I think this is part of my fear, too.
Thanks for any thoughts. I'm trying to really research & prepare
myself now so that we can be ready if/when the time comes.
Debi
---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Debi
I do see my daughter's obsessions as passions. I'm not a real pc kinda
gal and at times her passions are obsessions & I have passions that
seem to be obsessions at times, too, so for me it's interchangeable.
Allie's interest is to sit & draw the same pics over & over. She might
alternate between 2-3 pics all day, but draw about 100 pics of them.
That's no problem for me, except when we HAVE to do other things, such
as pick up sisters, clean bedroom (there's NEVER a good time for her
to clean) and trust me, I'm not one who pushes cleanliness too much,
jut ask hubby, lol!
I accept your statement that kids hate homeschool when parents don't
support them & their passions; at the same time, like with my Jessica,
she really craved being with her friends at school. I tried like
everything to get us into social situations for her, but the
homeschooling groups here were very cliquish; we couldn't seem to find
any that welcomed us, every group I found told me they were full.
Also, those who were not full had events at times my daughter with
autism would not have stood it because of noise, etc, hubby was still
at work, no one would watch the other girls, etc. I guess this is my
fear, but while typing this I realize we are in a different place now,
the kids are older, etc, so perhaps you've walked me through some of
this by letting me ramble, lol.
I also work hard at understanding Allie on nonverbal levels, but it's
impossible for me to comprehend on some levels. Like back to the room
cleaning. I get it she doesn't like it. I did realize part of it was
my dread because I would get defensive when she would scream when I
would calmly, joyfully say, "Clean room!" I found my attitude was
turning to negative and that was feeding some of it. I also realized
that clean room was too vague. However, now I give her specific
directions, such as, "put Doras in box" and she screams. I have
thought some of it is that she likes to visually see all her toys, but
that's not the entire case either, because when her room is destroyed
she won't go in there. When *I* clean it, she doesn't want to leave
it. I get it that she doesn't like cleaning it herself, but she's 8
and I've always had the philosophy if a child is old enough to make
the mess, the child is old enough to clean it. Like when my oldest was
13 mos old, if she dumped out toys, I had her clean them up. Sure, we
might make a game out of it, I am very willing to help, encourage, etc.
Thanks for any advice!
Debi
gal and at times her passions are obsessions & I have passions that
seem to be obsessions at times, too, so for me it's interchangeable.
Allie's interest is to sit & draw the same pics over & over. She might
alternate between 2-3 pics all day, but draw about 100 pics of them.
That's no problem for me, except when we HAVE to do other things, such
as pick up sisters, clean bedroom (there's NEVER a good time for her
to clean) and trust me, I'm not one who pushes cleanliness too much,
jut ask hubby, lol!
I accept your statement that kids hate homeschool when parents don't
support them & their passions; at the same time, like with my Jessica,
she really craved being with her friends at school. I tried like
everything to get us into social situations for her, but the
homeschooling groups here were very cliquish; we couldn't seem to find
any that welcomed us, every group I found told me they were full.
Also, those who were not full had events at times my daughter with
autism would not have stood it because of noise, etc, hubby was still
at work, no one would watch the other girls, etc. I guess this is my
fear, but while typing this I realize we are in a different place now,
the kids are older, etc, so perhaps you've walked me through some of
this by letting me ramble, lol.
I also work hard at understanding Allie on nonverbal levels, but it's
impossible for me to comprehend on some levels. Like back to the room
cleaning. I get it she doesn't like it. I did realize part of it was
my dread because I would get defensive when she would scream when I
would calmly, joyfully say, "Clean room!" I found my attitude was
turning to negative and that was feeding some of it. I also realized
that clean room was too vague. However, now I give her specific
directions, such as, "put Doras in box" and she screams. I have
thought some of it is that she likes to visually see all her toys, but
that's not the entire case either, because when her room is destroyed
she won't go in there. When *I* clean it, she doesn't want to leave
it. I get it that she doesn't like cleaning it herself, but she's 8
and I've always had the philosophy if a child is old enough to make
the mess, the child is old enough to clean it. Like when my oldest was
13 mos old, if she dumped out toys, I had her clean them up. Sure, we
might make a game out of it, I am very willing to help, encourage, etc.
Thanks for any advice!
Debi
Debi
She wanted to be with other kids her own age. I found a few
homeschooling groups; they were either "full" and didn't have room for
any more to join them, or the activities were when my daughter with
autism could not have participated without major meltdowns. I also
found some didn't want a child with autism joining them, which
repulsed me from even wanting to be around them.
I don't know how my daughter with autism would feel about it, that's
part of my problem. When school is out, she's SO GLAD to be home, but
about half way through summer she starts talking about school like
crazy, the first couple of weeks she's THRILLED to be back, but then
the rest of the year it can be a struggle to get her there because of
her behavior. The odd thing is on many of the mornings that she's
screaming about going to school she has perfect days -- completes her
work, her behaviors are under control, etc.
We do IV chelation every 2 weeks. My daughter asks for it about 8 days
after the previous IV. She says they make her feel better. Before that
we did some home chelation using alpha lipoic acid. Andy Cutler has a
protocol you can find on the autism-mercury board, which is natural
medicine, not homeopathic. I believe that those who know what they're
doing, like *good* DANs, provide perfectly safe chelation. In fact, I
haven't heard of any dangerous things happening while using the DAN
chelation protocols from any of the parents I know, but I'm sure
everything can have drawbacks. I do know my daughter doesn't do well
with DMSA. Allie is off the charts in aluminum. I would suggest if you
are thinking about it at all to start with a poryphins test, that's
considered the best initial test to do.
Thanks & HTH,
Debi
4
homeschooling groups; they were either "full" and didn't have room for
any more to join them, or the activities were when my daughter with
autism could not have participated without major meltdowns. I also
found some didn't want a child with autism joining them, which
repulsed me from even wanting to be around them.
I don't know how my daughter with autism would feel about it, that's
part of my problem. When school is out, she's SO GLAD to be home, but
about half way through summer she starts talking about school like
crazy, the first couple of weeks she's THRILLED to be back, but then
the rest of the year it can be a struggle to get her there because of
her behavior. The odd thing is on many of the mornings that she's
screaming about going to school she has perfect days -- completes her
work, her behaviors are under control, etc.
We do IV chelation every 2 weeks. My daughter asks for it about 8 days
after the previous IV. She says they make her feel better. Before that
we did some home chelation using alpha lipoic acid. Andy Cutler has a
protocol you can find on the autism-mercury board, which is natural
medicine, not homeopathic. I believe that those who know what they're
doing, like *good* DANs, provide perfectly safe chelation. In fact, I
haven't heard of any dangerous things happening while using the DAN
chelation protocols from any of the parents I know, but I'm sure
everything can have drawbacks. I do know my daughter doesn't do well
with DMSA. Allie is off the charts in aluminum. I would suggest if you
are thinking about it at all to start with a poryphins test, that's
considered the best initial test to do.
Thanks & HTH,
Debi
4
guideforthree
My seven year old is also on the spectrum (Asperger's). I have no
idea how homeschooling will play out for you and your daughter, but I
can tell you how it has affected my son.
Since we withdrew from school last year:
Socially, he is doing remarkably better. Rather than being left out
in a classroom full of kids, his social encounters have been much
more realistic (just one or two kids at a time). He is learning how
to play with other kids appropriately. He is learning how to join a
group at the playground, because his big brother is there modeling
the process and making sure he doesn't get left out.
As far as sensory issues are concerned, I am much more able to
control his environment at home than in a school setting. I am also
in tune with his sensory overload signals, and I can remove him from
a situation before he has a meltdown. Overall he has much less
anxiety due to sensory distress than he had when he was in school.
Homeschooling also works well with the restrictive interests often
associated with PDD. Your daughter likes art...go with that. There
is no end to the things you can learn through art. My son is
obsessed with Bionicles (lego robots). I recently bought him a
Bionicle enclyclopedia. He is learning to use an encyclopedia, and
he is reading (not his favorite activity).
Like many other parents with kids on the spectrum, I noticed great
summers with horrible transitions into the school year. This year
was the first year we did not go back to school, and it is the first
year we have had a smooth autumn in many, many years. When I pulled
my son out last spring, in typical Asperger fasion, he was concerned
about not having access to the classroom materials. I bought the
items he was most attached to, and he hasn't looked back since.
I just finished reading *Look Me In the Eyes* The author of this
memoir has Asperger's, and his life improved drastically after he
dropped out of school and was able to unschool himself. He went on
to design the smoking guitars for KISS, and he later designed several
of Milton Bradley's electronic toys back in the 80's. This book was
further validation for my decision to unschool my Aspie.
I hope this was helpful. What ever you decide, I am sure it will be
the right decision for your family.
idea how homeschooling will play out for you and your daughter, but I
can tell you how it has affected my son.
Since we withdrew from school last year:
Socially, he is doing remarkably better. Rather than being left out
in a classroom full of kids, his social encounters have been much
more realistic (just one or two kids at a time). He is learning how
to play with other kids appropriately. He is learning how to join a
group at the playground, because his big brother is there modeling
the process and making sure he doesn't get left out.
As far as sensory issues are concerned, I am much more able to
control his environment at home than in a school setting. I am also
in tune with his sensory overload signals, and I can remove him from
a situation before he has a meltdown. Overall he has much less
anxiety due to sensory distress than he had when he was in school.
Homeschooling also works well with the restrictive interests often
associated with PDD. Your daughter likes art...go with that. There
is no end to the things you can learn through art. My son is
obsessed with Bionicles (lego robots). I recently bought him a
Bionicle enclyclopedia. He is learning to use an encyclopedia, and
he is reading (not his favorite activity).
Like many other parents with kids on the spectrum, I noticed great
summers with horrible transitions into the school year. This year
was the first year we did not go back to school, and it is the first
year we have had a smooth autumn in many, many years. When I pulled
my son out last spring, in typical Asperger fasion, he was concerned
about not having access to the classroom materials. I bought the
items he was most attached to, and he hasn't looked back since.
I just finished reading *Look Me In the Eyes* The author of this
memoir has Asperger's, and his life improved drastically after he
dropped out of school and was able to unschool himself. He went on
to design the smoking guitars for KISS, and he later designed several
of Milton Bradley's electronic toys back in the 80's. This book was
further validation for my decision to unschool my Aspie.
I hope this was helpful. What ever you decide, I am sure it will be
the right decision for your family.
Meredith
--- In [email protected], "Debi"
<fightingautism@...> wrote:
easle? Does she respond to "we need to do x in y minutes?" or is
that stressful for her? Can you reduce those "have tos"? Trade
driving with other families? Are there other "have tos" besides the
cleaning (I'll get to that) that we can help you brainstorm ways to
make less pressing?
calm joyful order is still an order. If it helps her to have a clean
room, why aren't you cleaning it? Oh, wait, here it is....
being different than independence. Here's a link to that, if you're
not reading all the posts, its after the third quote:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/message/27102
For kids in school, pushing independence is necessary. They have to
go away from their parents and spend their days among strangers.
They *need* to be independent, because they are penalized for being
kind and helpful (do your own work, not your neighbors). Its one of
the things many people find they have to un-learn once they leave
school - instead, they have to learn to support spouses and team-
mates and clients.
Unschooling lets kids learn about mutual support from their parents.
They get to learn that it feels good to be kind. Most of us didn't
learn that as kids - we learned "do your own work" and "you're big
enough to do it yourself" and we've internalized those messages to
the point we don't question them, or see the cruelty. Part of the
deschooling process involves questioning those internalized messages
and holding them up against our values. If we value helpfulness, how
do our kids learn about that? By being made to do things they
dislike? Or by being helped when they need help?
Do you ever help a friend who needs a hand with something? Would you
do something kind for a person who was in over her head - bring a
casserole to a shut-in or new mom? That's the sort of attitude
unschoolers try to have toward our kids - kindness and helpfulness
are valuble so we Model them. We express them to our kids. Please!
Let me help you.
Supporting your dd's autonomy - helping her be able to get her needs
met - is going to include making sure her personal space isn't too
overwhelming for her. My dd can find her art supplies much more
easily when the room is picked up - so I pick it up regularly. I
certainly could do the whole "put that on the shelf, put this in the
box..." thing, but it takes less time and energy and Grief for me to
just Do it. As a gift. So my dd can do what's imporant to her. In
the long run, she does things that are kind for me - because
kindness is important in our family.
Kindness isn't so important in Ray's mom's family. Independence is
important, and getting what you deserve. It took some time for Ray
to start being kind "just because" after he moved in with us. He was
the stereotypical sulky, resistant teenager. Now he offers to do
things just for the sake of being nice. Because he's surrounded by
people being kind to *him* just because.
This is probably sounding like I'm saying I think you're a big
meanie as a mom - I think its more likely you're doing what most
people with kids in school do, and accepting certain things as
inevitable that are really a result of the ways schools are managed
(not even a result of what's educationally valuble, but that's
another rant entirely). Whole life unschooling involves looking at
family relationships via a different paradigm. Its certainly
possible to unschool in the sense of having no curriculum without
buying the farm, as it were, but personally, I think its a great
farm and can't imagine why anyone *wouldn't* want to live here.
---Meredith (Mo 6, Ray 14)
<fightingautism@...> wrote:
>> Allie's interest is to sit & draw the same pics over & over. Shemight
> alternate between 2-3 pics all day, but draw about 100 pics ofthem.
> That's no problem for me, except when we HAVE to do other things,What about bringing the drawing with her? A portable lap-board or
easle? Does she respond to "we need to do x in y minutes?" or is
that stressful for her? Can you reduce those "have tos"? Trade
driving with other families? Are there other "have tos" besides the
cleaning (I'll get to that) that we can help you brainstorm ways to
make less pressing?
> I also work hard at understanding Allie on nonverbal levels, butit's
> impossible for me to comprehend on some levels. Like back to theroom
> cleaning. I get it she doesn't like it. I did realize part of itwas
> my dread because I would get defensive when she would scream when II'd understand that to mean: "don't order me around, goshdangit!" A
> would calmly, joyfully say, "Clean room!"
calm joyful order is still an order. If it helps her to have a clean
room, why aren't you cleaning it? Oh, wait, here it is....
> and I've always had the philosophy if a child is old enough to makeThis ties in with what I was saying in another post about autonomy
> the mess, the child is old enough to clean it.
being different than independence. Here's a link to that, if you're
not reading all the posts, its after the third quote:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/message/27102
For kids in school, pushing independence is necessary. They have to
go away from their parents and spend their days among strangers.
They *need* to be independent, because they are penalized for being
kind and helpful (do your own work, not your neighbors). Its one of
the things many people find they have to un-learn once they leave
school - instead, they have to learn to support spouses and team-
mates and clients.
Unschooling lets kids learn about mutual support from their parents.
They get to learn that it feels good to be kind. Most of us didn't
learn that as kids - we learned "do your own work" and "you're big
enough to do it yourself" and we've internalized those messages to
the point we don't question them, or see the cruelty. Part of the
deschooling process involves questioning those internalized messages
and holding them up against our values. If we value helpfulness, how
do our kids learn about that? By being made to do things they
dislike? Or by being helped when they need help?
Do you ever help a friend who needs a hand with something? Would you
do something kind for a person who was in over her head - bring a
casserole to a shut-in or new mom? That's the sort of attitude
unschoolers try to have toward our kids - kindness and helpfulness
are valuble so we Model them. We express them to our kids. Please!
Let me help you.
Supporting your dd's autonomy - helping her be able to get her needs
met - is going to include making sure her personal space isn't too
overwhelming for her. My dd can find her art supplies much more
easily when the room is picked up - so I pick it up regularly. I
certainly could do the whole "put that on the shelf, put this in the
box..." thing, but it takes less time and energy and Grief for me to
just Do it. As a gift. So my dd can do what's imporant to her. In
the long run, she does things that are kind for me - because
kindness is important in our family.
Kindness isn't so important in Ray's mom's family. Independence is
important, and getting what you deserve. It took some time for Ray
to start being kind "just because" after he moved in with us. He was
the stereotypical sulky, resistant teenager. Now he offers to do
things just for the sake of being nice. Because he's surrounded by
people being kind to *him* just because.
This is probably sounding like I'm saying I think you're a big
meanie as a mom - I think its more likely you're doing what most
people with kids in school do, and accepting certain things as
inevitable that are really a result of the ways schools are managed
(not even a result of what's educationally valuble, but that's
another rant entirely). Whole life unschooling involves looking at
family relationships via a different paradigm. Its certainly
possible to unschool in the sense of having no curriculum without
buying the farm, as it were, but personally, I think its a great
farm and can't imagine why anyone *wouldn't* want to live here.
---Meredith (Mo 6, Ray 14)