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Karen
My husband used to have such severe sinus infections when he was a
smoker. Also when he held our babies they used to reach up and grab his
lit cigerette. When our eldest went to school and heard how awful
smoking is for the body she went on a continued rampage at home about
it. She would even steal her father's cigerettes and throw them out. He
would get so mad. She would still take them. She would write him letters
begging him to stop smoking because she loved him. He quit. Cold turkey
and has never smoked again. Can't say the same for me. I quit and every
now and then when I am so very overwhelmed I will grab a cigerette. Most
of the time I don't feel the urge for one. My 16 year old son is very
nervous, too and seems the most dependent on smoking. He quit smoking
pot, though. I felt really afraid that he and my two daughters, aged 23
and 19 were smoking pot. They knew I didn't feel comfortable with it
yet, I want a clear communication network between us, so we discussed it
a few times. They don't like alcohol. They have known people who have
died regarding drinking and driving. They were over to a friends house
and a boy slit his wrist while there. He was drunk and the police were
called, etc. These are the things that scare me. It isn't them just
sitting having a smoke, etc. There are others who gather to "like
energy" who have more going on who don't have anyone they can discuss
their emotional concerns with. My kids end up ministering to others,
which isn't a bad thing. It has taken a toll on them, at times, though.
Then we talk about it and come to some kind of conclusion. It has made
them closer to one another and us as a family. The best conversations
seem to be at 11pm for some reason:) Still I keep an "extra eye" on my
16 year old son. He seems so fragile in some ways from his years at
public school. He is healing. He said something quite telling last
night. That he wants a "skanky" girlfriend because he is "skanky" and
they are the only ones who would like him. Oui vey... So we talked about
that. He is in love with a young girl who is emotionally "lost." Her
mother uses cocaine and her father was in jail. I think the mom just let
the father move back in after he got out. On one hand he feels drawn to
this girl of "like energy" and on the other hand he "knows." If I slam
the door shut on him I fear I will lose him. My kids pain is my pain. I
have told them all I will be with them with a whole heart and open mind.
That has been tested over and over again. Michele



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